Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’ve been reading your column all day long and I found myself agreeing with every bit of advice you have given and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to hear your insight on my own relationship. I’m a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to relationships, I didn’t have my first kiss or date till 19, after two very short relationships I found myself turning 21 in November and in a 7 month relationship with a guy I love very much.

I had always told myself I would wait until marriage to sleep with a guy but I found myself so very much in love and couldn’t see myself ever being with anyone else so I gave in about 4.5 months into the relationship. We had our ups and downs, at the beginning of the relationship he got kicked out of his dad’s house and had to live with some friends. Long story short, I stood by him through everything, motivated him to quit smoking marijuana, I dealt with a lot of his mood swings and anger when he was trying to quit smoking cigarettes, I gave him driving lessons and let him use my car to finally get his driver’s license, bought him groceries when he had nothing to eat when he got kicked out, gave him rides, had my brother fix up his old bike so my bf had something to ride to school so he could get his GED, and applied to a lot of jobs for him so he could upgrade from part time to full time when his laptop was stolen and he couldn’t do it himself, and I encouraged him to talk things through with his dad so he could live at home again. Needless to say, I have done my best to motivate him to be the best person he could be and he has shown a lot of gratitude for that. Read More »

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

After reading your column “Don’t Break up Your BFF’s Relationship” I felt I needed to write to you because it seems as if I am in a similar situation, except I am on the other side. My boyfriend and I have been dating (on and off) for about 2 and a half years. He is one year older than me and just finished his freshman year in college. This was a difficult year for our relationship being that he was in college and I was still in high school.  I have had serious doubts and suspicions about his close friendship with a girl he met this year at school ever since September when I read a flirty conversation between them on his phone. He no longer lets me go through his phone, but I know they still talk daily.

Prior to this year, I was never jealous of him or felt threatened by any girl he interacted with. I asked one of my friends who goes to college with him what the deal was and she said they haven’t hooked up but everyone thinks he has feelings for her. To add to my suspicion, he and this girl have multiple Facebook pictures of them alone, and when I asked him to untag himself from some of them because they look as if they are a couple, he got angry with me and told me I was acting crazy.

Both my boyfriend and this girl have summer homes at the beach and I know that they see each other often. Whenever I bring her up, it escalates into a fight because he thinks that I am trying to filter who he can and can’t hangout with. He tells me he only likes her as a friend and that I need to trust him. As much as I love him and want to trust him it is really hard because he is so shady when it comes to her. I’m really frustrated because this has been going on since the beginning of the year and I have no idea what the best way is to handle it. Please help me, I would really appreciate you advice.

Sincerely,

Other Side Read More »

Kvetchion? Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He broke up with me because I was too “emotionally unsound”, but in reality I found out he cheated on me. He denied it, and for whatever reason I wanted to believe he was actually a good person and it was just a rumor. Though I still became kind of upset. And that is the reason there was any emotional craziness coming from me. By that point, I knew for a while that we should break up, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. We hung out every once in a while (and slept together a few times…’cause I was an idiot). Anyways, that’s not the point.

Eight months later, I was hanging out with one of my friends, and the topic of my ex boyfriend came up. This friend of mine told me the truth (he found out because he was cheating on his girlfriend with one of the best friend’s of the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with). At this point I became FURIOUS. I have never been so angry at the world before. My feelings were, “I can’t believe there are people in the world that do things that will obviously cause other people so much pain.” Cheating was honestly the last thing I ever thought I would have to deal with (boy was I wrong). So I told him that I never wanted to see him again.

A month ago, I finally realized that in order to no longer be so angry I have to forgive him (which sucks, but as soon as I realized that I felt so much better). And then he randomly facebook messaged me. I replied, because I didn’t want to be rude. And we hung out, to talk, because I had a list of questions that I wanted answered (such as: Why did you cheat on me? Why with her? Did you ever actually love me? Etc.). But he STILL denied it. And that pissed me off again. Read More »

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have been in a long distance (400 miles) relationship for almost 3 years, as you can imagine, everthing started off all pretty and perfect but a lot has changed over these years.

My boyfriend is the ‘Mummy’s boy’ type – the type that will start an argument if he doesn’t get his own way. It all started in Fall 2009 – things hadn’t been great between us, he broke up with me when I was on an important placement, then a week later started a relationship with a girl from his school (I had always suspected he was starting to like her.)

I tried to cut him out of my life – delete number, email, Facebook, blah blah blah. But he kept contacting me saying that he still loved me and regretted breaking up with me. In November 2009 we got back together, and everything was blissful again… or so I thought. He had told me that he regretted breaking up with me/didn’t know why he done it and that it was a rebound. The girl he broke up with me for told me that my boyfriend was sneaky and a liar (at first I didn’t believe it, but now I am starting to wonder whether she was right.) Read More »

Kvetchtion?! Answer: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So it seems CollegeCandy’s Dude is the most popular guy, like, ever. You ladies just can’t get enough. You’d think he was Bradley Cooper! (Maybe he is….that’s one secret we’ll never tell.) Luckily, this guy’s a giver (even more reason to love him) and he’s gonna bring you even more of his wisdom. Only instead of answering specific questions, he’s telling us what we all want to know and never had the balls to ask. (Like what guys are thinking when we’re goin’ at it.) Don’t worry, he’ll still be back every Wednesday for Ask a Dude!

They say that 60% of all men cheat and 70% of the women who’re being cheated on pretend it’s not happening. Well, I’m not sure if I believe in statistics (or that Justin Bieber’s got testicles) but I have known me some men who’ve crossed the fidelity line. Why? What lead them astray? What could possibly compel them to? Should you forgive him?

Ladies, we’re going for a ride inside 11 (anybody can do 10!) cheatin’ causes.  Let me make this clear: I’m here to offer you reasons for why he cheats, not excuses he gives you after you’ve caught him cheating.

1. Revenge f**k!
This is purely out of spite. You got caught and he took the opportunity to stick it to you by sticking into another woman. It ain’t mature and gets messy as Hell. Which is worse, the first offense or the last?

2. You haven’t seen each other in 6 months
Absence could make the heart grow fonder but also the pee-pee wander.  You can almost track your connection slipping away across the map on your iPhone’s GPS. Soon, each day you feel yourself growing apart from one another and then an opportunity arises, an oasis in the desert of uncertainty and isolation. So, he takes a drink. Don’t let anyone fool ya, the LDR ain’t for the weak willed. Read More »

Question? Answer: TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I am currently a single freshman girl in college.  Coming to college, there was a ton of stuff to be excited about.  But like most single freshman girls I had one things on my mind: COLLEGE BOYS.  I came here with the mentality that I was going to meet a bunch of boys, have some fun, and just play the field.  While that plan worked flawlessly for a while, I have now found myself in a rather sticky situation.

I was talking to a boy all summer long, and I really started to like him.  Over summer he was in a different state, so we could only communicate electronically. He goes to a private school in the same town as my university, so naturally in the fall we started hanging out all the time.  I was really starting to like this boy, and so I decided to ask him to accompany me to my sister’s wedding.  My family loved him and we had a great time, but after the wedding my feelings for him kind of started dwindling.  I texted him a little less and made our sleepovers a lot less frequent.

All the while, I had other boys on the side.  Cute boy in my building, boy from out of town, boy from the gym (I’m still single after all). So my point is that even when I really liked this boy, he wasn’t the only one in my life.

So jump to a few weeks later, when the fire alarm in the library goes off.  All of us studious college kids had to pack up our things and stand outside the lib until they let us back in.  While standing outside, this very cute boy starts talking to me.  We get caught up in conversation and eventually realize we have one of the same classes, which sparks an exchange of phone numbers.

After our first encounter and number exchange, we start hanging out quite a bit.  And the weirdest thing happens; I have NO desire to hangout with or hookup with any of those other sideline boys.

Read More »

Got a question? Ask Tuffy Luv. TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

Dear Tuffy Luv,

A few weekends ago while my roommate/best friend was passed out in her bedroom, her boyfriend and I hooked up. The boy and I had been friends freshman year, and I had feelings for him before he started dating my best friend. He and I agreed that it was never going to happen again and to not tell anyone. Two days later, when we were both drunk, it happened again. I believe he is a good person, and loves his girlfriend so I told him I wasn’t going to say anything.

2 weeks later he tried to hook up with my best friend and my other roommate. She rejected him, but told me the story. Selfishly, I don’t want to tell my best friend, but at the same time I wonder if I was wrong about him, and he is hooking up with other girls. What do I do?

– Sex With Best Friend’s Boyfriend Read More »

Do you ever put your foot down and say, “I can’t be with someone who…”?  If you’re dealing with a guy who doesn’t care about your O, I’m not alone in saying that’s grounds for giving him the boot.

And on that same note, tmotional cheaters are sometimes worse than ones who physically go out and whore around, so just say no to them, too.  And when he interprets your concern as nosiness, it’s time to sit down and talk before he dumps you.

And in the event that you do find yourself alone, here are eight things that are always better solo.