Question? Answer: TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. Dig?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I cheated on my boyfriend but now I want him back. I realized that the other guy that I was cheating with wasn’t that great so I really want to get back with my guy. He said okay we can get back together but the problem is that while we weren’t together (he broke up with me when he found out I cheated) he was constantly telling me how much he loved me and everything and that he wouldn’t see anyone else because he wanted to get back together.

Well the thing is, Tuffy, I just found out that he was talking to another girl while we weren’t together. He said he wouldn’t do that so now I feel like I can’t trust him. He told me about it because he said he feels bad about it but he says nothing happened, they just went out to dinner. But I’m so mad at him. He keeps apologizing but I feel like I need something bigger. Should I just get back with him like my heart wants or should I make him show he’s sorry first?

Please post this Tuffy; this is the third time I’m emailing you.

Gina

Dear Gina,

The reason I didn’t respond to your question the first two times was to spare you from what I was going to say. But, hey, if you insist:

This is totally effed. Sorry Gina, but you’re completely in the wrong here. I mean, you have got to be kidding me. You cheat on him, but he’s the one who’s supposed to beg your forgiveness?! That’s just messed upp.

So what do I think you should do? Read More »

Question for Tuffaleh?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for the answers of your dreams. Or, perhaps, public humiliation. It depends.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I moved to the US from Africa in Spring 2006 for college. I had a boyfriend when I moved and we had been dating for over a year by then.We stayed in contact everyday via email, phone, facebook, video messaging and I always went back at least twice every year and spent about 2 weeks with him each time. Everything was fine until summer ‘07 came around and I started to have friends and go out more. I met this guy that reminded me so much of my boyfriend (talk,act and even smelt alike). We started getting pretty close until he found out I had a boyfriend. We kinda drifted apart after that but every time we saw each other (like at a party) sparks start to fly again.

I finally got intimate with him 1 year after we met, but stopped seeing him after my boyfriend found out 2 weeks later (we are continents apart and he still found out). My boyfriend broke up with me and it took months of begging him over the phone and a $2,000 airplane ticket to get him back. I was genuinely sorry and I stopped all contact with the other guy. But then I go home this summer and we start to run into each other again. It started off with us locking eyes across the room to little flirts until I found myself in his bed again. Read More »

"I swear, I wasn't cheating on you."

Need some advice? Ask nicely and I’ll hook you up. Email me at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com and I’ll get back to you on the fly.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Please respond! I’m in a rough spot.

Also, this is a very long story.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years. We love each other very much and he is my best friend, but we have had a lot of trust issues. It all started close to a year into our relationship. I went over to his apartment one evening to hang out and he was watching football so I sat down at his computer to entertain myself with the internet. I wasn’t snooping but something in an open AIM window caught my eye. The last line of the conversation read “Wait don’t you have a girlfriend?” So being curious I read the rest of the convo. To sum the whole thing up, this chick (who he had been trying to set his good friend up with) was flirting with him and he said ” If I were to go there, or you were to come here, we would hook up. Don’t pretend like it wouldn’t happen.” And she pretty much agreed.

So after reading this I confronted him. He said that in the process of trying to hook his friend up with her, the girl developed feelings for my boyfriend and he just didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I told him  that he needed to be honest with her and tell her that he has a girlfriend and nothing was going to happen between them. I made him show me the AIM conversation in which he said this to her.

Understandably, after this incident I became intensely paranoid. So, I stole his Myspace password. Not only his Myspace password but Facebook, Yahoo, and Gmail. I know that that’s really horrible but I didn’t know what else to do because I really didn’t want to break up with him but I didn’t feel I could trust him. Everything had been fine until twice in the past month or two the girl that originally set this whole thing into motion has sent naked pictures to his Gmail. Read More »

Friend: I have to tell you something.
You: I know, I love The Real Housewives of Atlanta, too.
Friend: No, well yes, but that’s not it. You have to promise not to say anything, okay? Promise?
You: Well, yeah obvi. Your secret is safe with me.
Friend: I hooked up with Alex last night.

Okay, so here’s the problem: Alex isn’t just some guy. Alex is the guy with whom your friend is cheating (well this is the second time) on her boyfriend. Bigger problem: you happen to be really good friends with boyfriend boy.

Oy.

So, what do you do? How do you deal? Should you smack some sense into her? Pause, breathe and listen up. There is a right way and a wrong way to deal with this sticky sitch and, just so you know, leaving a handprint on her cheek is definitely the wrong way. Read More »

"You're too good for him! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

Got a question? Email tuffyluv@collegecandy and I’ll break it down real slow for ya.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’ve been seeing a guy for about eight months. Eight rocky months. At times things are amazing and at others, they’re terrible. On top of this (probably at the center of it) is I only get to see him once a week, if that. Granted we live in the same city with a bus system that works quite well. However, he’s never had me over, I haven’t met his family, and he only comes to my place.

Now fast forward to this morning when I checked my phone and saw a message from a strange number basically saying: “You can have ‘insert boy’s name here’. Bet you didn’t know he had a girl did you? Oh well, doesn’t matter now. Good luck with him. You’re going to need it.”

I sent it to him and he said he lost his phone at the club and someone must have took my number out of it and sent that to me. I’ve been having gut feelings about another girl being in the picture the whole time and it definitely makes sense. But yet I’m still conflicted – I love him, should I believe him? Or should I just move on? I feel like I deserve someone that will put more into a relationship, but yet the feelings I have for him are so strong it confuses me. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

J Read More »

If you suspect your guy of being unfaithful, there are a number of steps you can take: confront him, leave him, hack into his Facebook account, hire a private investigator to tail him.

Or, you can take things a step further and, you know, pour scalding hot water on his balls while he sleeps.

In an article aptly titled “Great Balls Afire,” the New York Post is reporting that a woman from Queens, who believed her husband was cheating on her (again), allegedly poured a pot of hot water over his genitals while he was asleep. He suffered second and third-degree burns over 30% of his body.

Even better, “by the time [he] woke up, the skin was falling off.” Of his penis.

Gives new meaning to the phrase “it’s hot as balls,” doesn’t it?

This Week’s Article: Why Do Single Women Like Taken Men? by askmen.com.

This week’s article lists a number of reasons why women are (supposedly) attracted to taken men. Let’s see what they have to say…

AskMen says: “In the Garden of Eden, Eve sinks her teeth into the one piece of fruit that God instructed her to avoid — so began a long line of women who wanted, oh so badly, what they could not have.”

I Say: Actually, I’m pretty sure Eve convinced Adam to eat the forbidden fruit instead of biting into it herself. Nevertheless, I don’t really find bible references to be the most accurate explanations of human behavior.

AskMen Says: “Significant others are a reflection of the people they date. That’s why it’s in a girl’s best interest to act like her boyfriend’s PR rep: to mention whenever possible that he studied at Harvard — oh, and he plays in a band. When she boasts, her listeners see him through the rose-colored glasses that she wears.”

I Say: Of coarse, the only way women can make themselves seem like decent human beings to to boast to others about the great things their boyfriend does. Read More »

Are you psychotic in relationships? Have your significant others ever called you a crazy bitch? Insane? Needy? Any of the above? Here’s some signs that you just might be:

- You love the chase. Not to mention the ongoing drama and the on and off and the fighting, but once the guy gives you the attention and affection, you’re totally bored and want out.

- You constantly pine for a guy who DOESN’T LIKE YOU or worse, doesn’t even know you exist. He’s Just Not That Into You was written for you.

- You cheat. Oh man, do you ever cheat. You just do. You sometimes don’t mean it, but sometimes you do. You lie about it. You feel awful about it sometimes, but sometimes you don’t. Sometimes it’s just making out, sometimes it’s sex, sometimes it’s emotional, but it’s all cheating. And you do it. And sometimes you can’t stop once you start getting good at it. Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site.

We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like strippercising!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

It’s like having your heart ripped out of your chest and tapped danced on by a sumo wrestler in stilettos – getting cheated on. And as if that’s not bad enough, the horrible feeling of being cheated on often comes along with it’s mustache-twirling evil twin – the repentant cheater – putting you in the awkward position of having to decide an important personal issue while a part of your soul is still being crushed into a fine powder.

Now I don’t condone cheating (if my boyfriend is reading this, don’t even think about it, pal!) but there are actually people who cheat once and would never do it again. Sometimes it’s a stupid thing like partying way too hard and making a bad decision. Other times it’s a stupid thing they choose to do once and realize what a horrible mistake it was. Either way, a lot of these people end up cheating and then finding that they really don’t want to be with anyone but their partner.

But then again, isn’t that always the story? Nobody comes back and says “I’m probably gonna try not to cheat on you again for a while” and expects to be taken back. And the truth is – as begrudgingly as I admit it – some of us just aren’t designed for monogamy. Some people really do feel bad, but go right on doing it anyway (for anyone who’s ever had ice cream for dinner, you know what that’s like). Read More »

Gots a question for Tuffs?! Shoop it over to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get it answered in Tuffy Luv’s weekly column!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Ok, I have a question, and I need a response asap. I hooked up with this guy, like, 2 weeks ago, and his girlfriend, yes his girlfriend, found out today! Ugh, I knew that he had a girlfriend at the time, but I didn’t care and he promised that he would never tell!!!! So much 4 that promise. Anyway, I have her in one of my classes and she sits right behind me and I have just been ditching that class to avoid her, but I can’t do that 4ever! What do i do? I feel so guilty, but he has cheated on her 5 times b4!!!! Ugh, this sucks. But No Regrets, ever. Help me please!

-MamaBeast-

Dear MamaBeast,

Well, you should regret this. Hooking up with another girl’s man is just not cool. And that’s that.

That said, it’s not your fault he cheated. And if he’s cheated on her before, she should have known he’d cheat on her again. Ridic. Read More »