Got something to ask Tuffy Luv? Email her at tuffy@collegecandy.com and hold onto your hat. Because it’s windy out here.

PS Tuffy’s column will now appear every other Tuesday! So write in lots!!!

Dearest Tuffy Luv,

I have been dating a gentleman, “Bob”, for well over a year now. I left my boyfriend of five years to be with Bob. In the past few months, Bob has lied on several occasions about where he is, who he’s with, etc. He deletes phone calls and text messages because he’s scared I might “get upset over nothing”. I’m leaving for college in a week and will be two hours away. This past week, I found out he kissed one of his former student athletes (he was a swim coach). He begged me to take him back and I caved. This is the second time he’s cheated on me but I can’t seem to hold him accountable. How do I just make myself cut the ties when he makes me happy outside the lies?

Sincerely,

A woman scorned

Dear Woman Scorned,

I think you just blew my mind.

Seriously. Do you honestly believe him that he’s just scared you’ll, what was the term he used, “get upset over nothing?” My guess is, you don’t. Because otherwise you wouldn’t have written in. Read More »

I have never gone out with anyone who cheated on me (to the best of my knowledge). Like most other people, I tend to think that cheaters are the scum of the Earth and that they should be ostracized from society to sufficiently pay for the way they deeply hurt their partners by doing something so stupid.

However, if I give it some thought that’s more in-depth, I realize it’s not even close to that simple.

I’ve never cheated, no, but I’ve come damn close. Close enough so that if I was my boyfriend, I’d be really, really upset with me. I could make excuses all day—I didn’t realize what I had, my priorities weren’t straight, I was selfish, I was stupid… but at the end of the day, I still came pretty close.

There’s got to be something—some kind of line—that separates me, the almost-cheater, from someone else who actually has cheated. I don’t think I’m speaking ignorantly when I say that most cheaters regret their actions and feel bad about them.

But this post isn’t about why they do it—it’s about whether cheating is ever excusable. Read More »

My friend met a great guy last weekend. They hung out at the bar and when it closed he walked her home. When they arrived at her place, they sat on her stoop and talked, flirted, laughed.

It wasn’t until the sun started coming up (and she realized she had to be at her internship in the AM), that they realized how long they had been out there. He took her number, gave her a kiss and went on his merry way. She was excited…until a week went by with no word from him.

She couldn’t understand what happened. I couldn’t help her, either. So, I turned to experts in the field of douchey boys: my guy friends. They have helped before – I was sure they could explain the situation this time, too.

He Said:

When a guy asks a girl for her number and never calls back, a few things might be happening. First, he might have been involved in a fatal beer bong accident, and be buried six-feet under by the time the obligatory three days have passed. But that’s unlikely.

Another, more likely, option is that after he sobered up, he realized that the girl was actually some type of human-beast hybrid and his buddies asked him WTF he was thinking, pretty much eliminating any chance of getting in touch. Or he just forgot he’d gotten the girl’s number altogether until it was too late. Drinking might be a good social lubricant, but it’s not the best ingredient for long-term planning. Read More »

There are many different views on people who cheat; some think they will forever be doomed to ruin monogamy and the ability to be with one person, faithfully, while others think that cheating once may be a simple human error and may not seal your fate as a serial cheater. The debate on cheating is one I have argued for some time, having been cheated on myself and having been one of those shunned individuals who has cheated as well.

Let’s start with my first scenario: high school boyfriend, dated two years, who happened to forget to tell me that he was simultaneously having a four month relationship with another chick, sleeping with the both of us. Stellar, right? Needless to say, I was crushed; he was the first real boyfriend I sunk my teeth into (Editor’s Note: Kinky!) only to find out he was actually having his cake and eating it too. We broke up once the lovely mistress contacted me and informed me of my wonderful boyfriends’ indiscretions.

A few years later, I’ve let go of what happened back in high school (after all, it was high school, a time when we all made some hasty decisions) and we’ve maintained an actually strong bond as friends. Would I ever consider being with him again, knowing what he did to me, despite our age and immaturity level? No way. I’ll love him as my friend forever, but would never bring myself to trust him again. He may not be a cheater forever, but it’s safe to say that with me, I will see him as someone who always has that possibility. Read More »

[To ask Tuffy Luv a question (which she WILL answer), email her at tuffy@collegecandy.com and leave a question at the sound of the tone.]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I recently ran into a boy i used to (and still) have a crush on, but don’t know too well. We had a really great, long, kind of flirty conversation but he eventually revealed that he’s had the same girlfriend since high school.

When the topic of relationships came up, he started talking about a serious problem he has with his girlfriend. It seemed odd, considering we aren’t really close and I don’t even know her… then he gave me his number and told me to call him if I was around this summer.

Granted, I am pretty easy to talk to, but does the fact that he brought up his relationship problems to me mean something? Or is he just so secure with the relationship that it feels comfortable to talk about it to whoever? Maybe he’s the kind of guy who stays in a relationship because it feels safe, and needs another girl to get him out of it? I’m confused!

thanks,

anna

Dear Anna,

Run from this douchebag as fast as your cute little legs will take you. Read More »

Spitzer’s Client #9 shenanigans brought out a lot of dialogue about fidelity across news shows and the Internet alike. We polled our readers last week asking if the person who’s been cheated on is to blame and gave a choice of three answers – yes, no and maybe. Can we determine who had the right answer?

Possibly.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger has never been one to shrink from controversy and she leaped headlong into one on Monday when she appeared on the Today Show and said that if a husband cheats, his wife may share some of the blame.

“When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs,” the popular psychologist and radio personality said.

Now, I hate Dr. Laura with the fire of a thousand suns, so anything that comes out of her mouth leaves me ready to come out fighting against her or makes me turn the ignore button on in my head, but after initially dismissing her as being wrong yet again, I thought about what she’d said.

I shudder to type this, but: she’s on to something. Read More »

Suspicious, desperate lovers rejoice! There’s now a way to trick your significant other into cheating on you!

The Honey Trap is an agency out of the UK designed to help people who suspect their mate is having flings on the side.

“You know your partner is up to something but cannot prove it – perhaps they have had affairs before and you simply want an excuse to throw them out! Whatever your reason we have the answers” claims the website, offering “a vast selection of investigators of all ages, all descriptions and with different levels of education. Each one is trained and equipped with video and visual recording devices and their aim is to encourage a further meeting by telephone texting and emails.” Read More »

Anyone who would cheat on Mandy Moore is just a little bit devoid of morality, but for some reason, Zach Braff is especially slimy. The guy has become ubiquitous, skulking around NYC romancing groupies left and right. He’s so smarmy Mandy managed to pen a whole album about his toxic ways. I don’t wanna taste of that candy.

But Braff is fighting back. He doesn’t want his nice – guy image tarnished by Mandy and more’s testimonials. Yesterday, he attempted to make nice with the ladies in the classiest of ways: through his myspace blog. As he writes: He’s just a normal guy. He’s 32. He’s dating. He’s happy!

Of course he’s happy, screwing (literally and figuratively) people without a care. You see, Zach Braff represents a dangerous breed of man: the sensitive intellectual who will secretly and stealthly screw you over. This guy reels you in with his kind eyes, open ears and taste in indie rock, only to dump you cold as soon as he’s bored, or even worse, keep “listening” to you while simultaneously “listening” to six other women. Read More »

Wow! I stumbled upon this gorgeous little audio clip on PharmaGossip.com and OMG- this will absolutely kill you.

The long and the short of it is, This guy is about to propose to his girlfriend of 4 years, when he finds out she was caught giving some “oral dictation” to her Boss in the bathroom stall at the company Christmas Party. So, instead of breaking up with her in person, he recruits some help from a local radio show.

The result is painfully cruel- Gorgeous, I tell you.