Question? Answer: TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. Dig?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I cheated on my boyfriend but now I want him back. I realized that the other guy that I was cheating with wasn’t that great so I really want to get back with my guy. He said okay we can get back together but the problem is that while we weren’t together (he broke up with me when he found out I cheated) he was constantly telling me how much he loved me and everything and that he wouldn’t see anyone else because he wanted to get back together.

Well the thing is, Tuffy, I just found out that he was talking to another girl while we weren’t together. He said he wouldn’t do that so now I feel like I can’t trust him. He told me about it because he said he feels bad about it but he says nothing happened, they just went out to dinner. But I’m so mad at him. He keeps apologizing but I feel like I need something bigger. Should I just get back with him like my heart wants or should I make him show he’s sorry first?

Please post this Tuffy; this is the third time I’m emailing you.

Gina

Dear Gina,

The reason I didn’t respond to your question the first two times was to spare you from what I was going to say. But, hey, if you insist:

This is totally effed. Sorry Gina, but you’re completely in the wrong here. I mean, you have got to be kidding me. You cheat on him, but he’s the one who’s supposed to beg your forgiveness?! That’s just messed upp.

So what do I think you should do? Read More »

Question for Tuffaleh?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for the answers of your dreams. Or, perhaps, public humiliation. It depends.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I moved to the US from Africa in Spring 2006 for college. I had a boyfriend when I moved and we had been dating for over a year by then.We stayed in contact everyday via email, phone, facebook, video messaging and I always went back at least twice every year and spent about 2 weeks with him each time. Everything was fine until summer ‘07 came around and I started to have friends and go out more. I met this guy that reminded me so much of my boyfriend (talk,act and even smelt alike). We started getting pretty close until he found out I had a boyfriend. We kinda drifted apart after that but every time we saw each other (like at a party) sparks start to fly again.

I finally got intimate with him 1 year after we met, but stopped seeing him after my boyfriend found out 2 weeks later (we are continents apart and he still found out). My boyfriend broke up with me and it took months of begging him over the phone and a $2,000 airplane ticket to get him back. I was genuinely sorry and I stopped all contact with the other guy. But then I go home this summer and we start to run into each other again. It started off with us locking eyes across the room to little flirts until I found myself in his bed again. Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like what is cheating!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Alright, since we spent last week debating what it means to cheat in a relationship, it only seems right to figure out what the other kind of cheating means – the kind that involves teachers. Everybody thinking dirty things about teachers, get your mind out of the gutter (for now). Seriously though, we’ve all read the school policies about cheating and plagarism, but at the same time, most of us have done something that we wouldn’t really want the school to know about. How guilty should we really feel? It’s time to duke it out!

There are some things we can pretty much all agree are cheating – copying a paper word for word (or Wikipedia *cough cough*), sneaking a peek at someone else’s test answers. But what if you take someone else’s info and reword it? Or if you take the ideas from another work and write it out your own way. Afterall, most scholars read other papers on their topics and get ideas from them that they craft into thier own work and that’s not considered cheating. True, scholars add things to the information they borrow, but if you do the same thing, then is it ok? And what if you don’t borrow much? What if it’s just one sentence? Or just a quote that you forgot to mark? According to most school regulations that could qualify as cheating – and get you kicked out. Read More »

Got a guy question that’s tearing you up inside? Don’t trust your girl friends to give you honest advice (because they’re afraid if they tell you the truth you will freak out and throw things at them)? Just want to try and understand what a guy is thinking?

We’ve got the dude for you. Send your questions to AskTheDude@CollegeCandy.com and he’ll give it to you straight. Because you can’t throw things at him, no matter what he tells you. Our dude is answering questions every Wednesday, so ask away!

Hey Duuuude,

OK, so here is my situation. I met this guy my freshman year of college (I’m a sophomore now) and we flirted for a while and then we started texting. Then eventually, we started partying together. Well for about two months while we would flirt, text and party all the time (he would text me every day about 3 times a day a lot of times just to see what I was doing), he had a girlfriend. Before I found this out, I had straight up asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no.

How I found out he had a girlfriend for sure, was one night us two and a group of friends went to a party. At the party (not knowing it was his girlfriend) I went up and talked to her, because I knew who she was aside from the fact that she was his girlfriend. She was short with me, and gave me a lot of attitude and I wanted to know why. So I asked him again what was going on between those two and he simply said “I f**ked her a few times.” Then I found out that she is madly in love with him and considers them to be exclusive. Well that was a while ago and bygones are bygones; I do not trust him in a boyfriend sense, yet I treasure his friendship. He tells me he wants to go out on actual dates that don’t involve other people and black out-drunkenness, and I have heard him say that he wants to be in a serious relationship with me, but I am afraid to trust him because I feel like he is someone that I could really fall for.

What should I do???
— Can’t Think of a Fun Name, So Just Call Me Confused Read More »

"I swear, I wasn't cheating on you."

Need some advice? Ask nicely and I’ll hook you up. Email me at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com and I’ll get back to you on the fly.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Please respond! I’m in a rough spot.

Also, this is a very long story.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years. We love each other very much and he is my best friend, but we have had a lot of trust issues. It all started close to a year into our relationship. I went over to his apartment one evening to hang out and he was watching football so I sat down at his computer to entertain myself with the internet. I wasn’t snooping but something in an open AIM window caught my eye. The last line of the conversation read “Wait don’t you have a girlfriend?” So being curious I read the rest of the convo. To sum the whole thing up, this chick (who he had been trying to set his good friend up with) was flirting with him and he said ” If I were to go there, or you were to come here, we would hook up. Don’t pretend like it wouldn’t happen.” And she pretty much agreed.

So after reading this I confronted him. He said that in the process of trying to hook his friend up with her, the girl developed feelings for my boyfriend and he just didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I told him  that he needed to be honest with her and tell her that he has a girlfriend and nothing was going to happen between them. I made him show me the AIM conversation in which he said this to her.

Understandably, after this incident I became intensely paranoid. So, I stole his Myspace password. Not only his Myspace password but Facebook, Yahoo, and Gmail. I know that that’s really horrible but I didn’t know what else to do because I really didn’t want to break up with him but I didn’t feel I could trust him. Everything had been fine until twice in the past month or two the girl that originally set this whole thing into motion has sent naked pictures to his Gmail. Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like coed rommmates!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Well, now that group sex is on the menu, it seems like a good time to clarify an age old debate – what is cheating? Some say it’s sex, others say kissing, still others say even thoughts can be cheating, so now it’s time to voice your vote ladies; in a world of committed threesomes, phone sex and the office wife, what really counts as cheating?

We’ve all heard the old “zip code” rule and it’s variants – “it doesn’t count if you’re not in the same zip code/state/country/bedroom” and I for one have never bought into it, but there might be some others that I would at least consider more forgivable. Level of alcohol, for instance, could definitely be a factor, and the same goes for drugs. Anything mind altering at least makes it slightly more reasonable that you didn’t know what you were doing. Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Girl, raising hand in class.)

Girl: Wait, so … some languages don’t have vowels? That’s IMPOSSIBLE! How are you supposed to pronounce them? Do you have to guess? I can’t believe that! That’s so stupid! *scribbles furiously in notebook*

(Professor, teaching a class.)

Prof: Heaven is hard to describe. I’ve seen plenty of evocative depictions of Hell, but I’ve never seen a truly compelling vision of Heaven.

Student, interrupting: May I suggest one?

Prof: No. I want to talk about something else.

(Two guys, getting into their car.)

Guy: You ever notice that every time we go to make candles, one of us cheats on his girlfriend? Read More »

Someone wants to marry crazy Tyra Banks?

The sexiest ice cream around.

Time to update those leggings, ladies.

Demi Moore is all nature, baby.

When will these people stop having kids?!

Some say cheating is totally OK.

Friend: I have to tell you something.
You: I know, I love The Real Housewives of Atlanta, too.
Friend: No, well yes, but that’s not it. You have to promise not to say anything, okay? Promise?
You: Well, yeah obvi. Your secret is safe with me.
Friend: I hooked up with Alex last night.

Okay, so here’s the problem: Alex isn’t just some guy. Alex is the guy with whom your friend is cheating (well this is the second time) on her boyfriend. Bigger problem: you happen to be really good friends with boyfriend boy.

Oy.

So, what do you do? How do you deal? Should you smack some sense into her? Pause, breathe and listen up. There is a right way and a wrong way to deal with this sticky sitch and, just so you know, leaving a handprint on her cheek is definitely the wrong way. Read More »

"You're too good for him! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

Got a question? Email tuffyluv@collegecandy and I’ll break it down real slow for ya.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’ve been seeing a guy for about eight months. Eight rocky months. At times things are amazing and at others, they’re terrible. On top of this (probably at the center of it) is I only get to see him once a week, if that. Granted we live in the same city with a bus system that works quite well. However, he’s never had me over, I haven’t met his family, and he only comes to my place.

Now fast forward to this morning when I checked my phone and saw a message from a strange number basically saying: “You can have ‘insert boy’s name here’. Bet you didn’t know he had a girl did you? Oh well, doesn’t matter now. Good luck with him. You’re going to need it.”

I sent it to him and he said he lost his phone at the club and someone must have took my number out of it and sent that to me. I’ve been having gut feelings about another girl being in the picture the whole time and it definitely makes sense. But yet I’m still conflicted – I love him, should I believe him? Or should I just move on? I feel like I deserve someone that will put more into a relationship, but yet the feelings I have for him are so strong it confuses me. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

J Read More »