When I was twelve, all I wanted was to be a cheerleader.  Okay, so this didn’t really set me apart from any of my peers; becoming cheerleader is right up there with “actress” and “ballerina” in terms of typical pipe dreams for young girls.  But for me, the quest to become one the few, the proud, the peppy had very little to do with the cute uniforms or notions of sisterly bonding.  I wanted to cheer because I was actually an accomplished gymnast with a penchant for performing in front of a crowd.  I still think that this combination would have made me a great cheerleader – but I never got the chance to find out for sure.  Why?  Because I made the mistake of watching Bring It On with my mom before I entered high school.My mom took one look at the girls in the movie: their perpetually exposed midriffs, love of sabotaging one another, and less than intelligent vernacular, and told me in no unclear terms that I was never allowed to cheer.

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Have the last 7 days made anyone else crave a bubble bath and a good book? How about a Valium?

Anyway, the world kind of imploded this week. Cheerleaders were bashed for being cheerleaders, we had flashbacks to 7th grade when our sworn enemy put a dead fish in our locker, that awkward hook-up just became the top dining hall gossip, and we seriously forgot how to actually care.

To make matters worse, we found out that men cheat on us a lot, and John McCain almost didn’t make it to tonight’s debate.

A week like this makes us want to manufacture our own boyfriend, go shopping at American Apparel, find a much younger guy to toy with, eat some candy bar brownies, and eff Jeremy Piven.

At least we learned how to survive that 8 AM class. If nothing else, we’ll be early for the end of the world.

Maybe “The Office” should close for some maintenance

The CollegeHumor All Nighter was awesome–here are their videos!

Ten songs to kick your tushie through finals

Linksys is my American Idol

How is Dakota Fanning so close in age to Miley Cyrus?

Seriously, girls: what’s the friggin’ rush?

Similarly, I’m REALLY excited for HSM3!!!

Barack Obama supports “The Hills”

ASU cheerleaders kicked off team for indecent photos–shocker!

Could you survive 24 hours without your computer?

• If your ringtone is going to be an orgasm (ugh, totally lame), turn it off before you are in the midst of a courtroom. Manners, people! (news.com.au)

• London residents panic over chemical spill…I mean, 5-alarm chili! Literally. (timesonline.co.uk)

• Alabama woman: “My motto has been they are going to have to pry this vibrator from my cold, dead hand. I refuse to give up.” Haven’t we all thought that at some point? (TBO.com)

• Father makes 6 year old son chug a beer. Hilarity does not ensue. (tbo.com)

• An Alabama couple celebrates their 80th wedding anniversary. “After all these years,” he said, “I still enjoy being with her.” Does this give us hope or does it make us morbidly depressed? I’m going with depressed. (sfgate.com)

• Ditzy cheerleader bloopers are always a great way to wake up in the morning. (COED Magazine)

Sure, when I first learned the name of this little web TV show I was a little skeptical. I mean, what girl would want to watch a reality series about cheerleaders doing god knows what?

But in a curious moment, I decided to give Undercover Cheerleaders a look… and I kid you not, I was ROTFL!!!

The story is this:

After being rejected by the Dallas Cowboy’s Cheerleading Squad (even though they were much hotter than the others) Nikki, Jess, Ash and Steph are determined to use this experience to expose the other incredible injustices in the world. They are the epitome of the overly enthusiastic, smiley cheerleader stereotype, but still maintain individual characteristics (i.e. Ash is a pothead – how sweet is that?) Together they will lend a helping hand to those in need and right the terrible wrongs.

The result is not only hysterical, but incredibly inventive and refreshingly original.

The series runs throughout the summer on Hungrymantv.com. The first episode entitled “The Danny Glover Cab Test” is up now so check it out. You won’t be sorry.