Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Two guys, talking next to a weight bench.)

Guy 1: We skied a whole bunch last winter. Do you partake?
Guy 2: Yeah, sometimes. You’re talking about cocaine, right?

(Guy, on the phone. Sounds like he’s getting through a breakup.)

Guy: Thanks for talking about this with me. It’s really hard to talk about sometimes.

(beat)

Hey, well, we’re both single now, right?

(beat)

Well, that was kinda rude. Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

“Everyone can relate to getting peed on.”

“Yeah, I get peed on all the time.”

“That’s because you pay people to do it.”

“You can’t build a skyscraper on cheese.”

“Are you going to see your puppy this weekend?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s his name?”

“Toby.”

“No it’s not.”

“I’m just swinging this bat. Standing here, swinging this bat. If someone else walks in the way, it’s not my fault. It’s not the bat’s fault. It’s the physics.” Read More »

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Landscapers: Ok guys, I understand that you’ve got a lot of ground to cover (no pun intended) and that requires you to start the day extra early to please all of your clients, one of whom happens to be the landlord of my apartment. I have no problem with you guys manicuring the lawn (because the thought of operating any type of lawnmower scares the living crap out of me–wierd childhood fear), but I do have trouble justifying the fact that you come at 7 am every. single. Monday. Coincidentally, 7 is four hours earlier than I ever plan on waking up on a Monday. I’m sure you can understand why it could be difficult to sleep through someone weedwhacking right under my window. On the bright side, you do wake me up early enough to possibly be a productive citizen, so I actually didn’t mind my chainsaw alarm last Monday when it got me to go to the library earlier–until I walked outside and got dirt in my eyes from the huge clouds you stirred up with the leafblowers. Will you never let me have my peace!? Read More »

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

D&G Advertisements: More specifically, the one featured in January’s Vanity Fair (page 9). I just don’t understand; why is Claudia Schiffer orgasming on a very sandy and very hard looking dock? I can think of more comfortable places. Furthermore, if I were wearing an expensive D&G silk…romper(?) and kickass stilettos, I would not want to get them dirty on some grimy beach dock (not that I wear stilettos to the beach). Add to this the two models in tweed suits apparently mentally controlling aforementioned orgasm-girl, the uber-tanned, super muscled old women and body builder in the background, and Dolce and Gabanna have convinced me that strange things will ensue if I ever can afford to buy anything from their 2009 cruise collection. Read More »

All right so it might not be cold yet, but that doesn’t mean a bowl of something hot wouldn’t hit the spot. If you’re too broke to swing by the nearest deli every time you get a massive craving for a soup and sandwich, try this recipe for chili. It’s super easy, great for dorm rooms (assuming you can use a crock-pot there…or can hide it from your R.A.) and it makes enough to last a lot longer than one of those eensy bowls of Broccoli Cheddar soup (still, mmmm broccoli cheddar soup…).

Chili is extremely customizable. For instance, depending on whether you like yours really hot or not so much, it isn’t hard to adjust the spice of this recipe. Chili is kind of a free-for-all dish, meaning, throw whatever the hell you want into a pot as long as it sounds good. (Caution: do not try this when inebriated. I did and quickly realized that frosting does not go well in chili.) Read More »

I’m guilty—I have, on ravenous occasions, busted out a package of Easy Mac, thrust it in the microwave, and unceremoniously chowed down on its contents less than five minutes later. Did I feel good about it? No, especially given my current reputation for cooking actual food rather than food that looks fluorescent.

I am not above admitting that Easy Mac is sometimes necessary. After all, if you truly have only ten minutes with which to make and eat dinner, it’s better to eat Easy Mac than nothing at all. But if you have even five more spare minutes, you can make something tastier, healthier, and all-around better.

That’s right—I’m talking about homemade mac and cheese.

It doesn’t get any easier than this, folks:

INGREDIENTS

• cheese of your choice (I like a mix of cheddar and parmesan)

• milk

• flour

• pasta (any kind words, but elbow macaroni is nice for nostalgia’s sake) Read More »

I scanned the menu of the dimly lit Thai restaurant where we had chosen to have lunch. It was really breakfast, being our first meal of the day. It was still only 11:30 in the morning.

My tongue ruminated on memories of peanut sauce and bean sprouts, quickly tasting each dish with which it was presented and re-shelving the phantom platter for a later craving. When my eyes came to rest on the Spicy Green Curry, I knew my mouth had found what it wanted.

Something in me was telling me that this was the dish I should order, despite the warning label under the menu description advertising this as a “very spicy dish.” Or maybe precisely because of that label.

As I barreled my way through that burning sensation that was my breakfast, I wondered why on Earth I was doing this to myself. There was so much spice that I could barely taste anything else. There were hints of coconut milk here, and eggplant there, but mostly my mouth was a wasteland of curry on fire.

That got me thinking about my whole relationship with spicy food. I can’t say that I really like how it tastes. So why do I love eating it? Read More »

I’m not a vegetarian, but I like to eat like one. I’m very picky with meats (I don’t eat seafood, beef, or pork); I try to eat healthy (even though I typically consume the calories I cut throughout the week in weekend drinking binges); and, most importantly, I’m a horrible cook, so I’d rather microwave a faux-chicken cutlet than get salmonella from undercooking a juicy piece of pollo.

A recent issue of Shape magazine suggested eating vegetarian once a week, and I was like, “Heyyy I already do that! I rock!” They also featured a mouthwatering recipe for vegetarian paella. That’s not going to happen. So, whether you’re a carnivore or a herbivore, trying to shave some calories from your diet, or too busy to slave over a hot stove, I give you vegetarian meals in five minutes or less. All you need is a microwave.

1. Boca Meatless Chili

You need:

–Boca Meatless Chili, from the freezer section of your grocery store.

–2 slices of whole wheat bread

*Zap the chili for three minutes, stir, and nuke for one more minute.

*While the chili is in the microwave, pop the whole wheat bread in the toaster.

*Cut the whole wheat toast in quarters, top with tasty chili, and enjoy! Read More »

My dad makes the best homemade pizza on Earth. He is not really an everyday-supper kind of guy as far as his cooking goes, but a few of the things he can whip up are absolutely out of this world. When you taste this pizza, there is simply no comparison to any pizza you have ever had in a restaurant, ever. It’s just impossible to look back.

I have never quite been able to match the final product, but I do have the recipe, and I am more than willing to share it with you. I believe it’s one of those recipes that gives good results every time but takes a lifetime to perfect… so check back with me in 30 years or so to see how I’m doing.

In the meantime, get the following things together:

FOR THE DOUGH

• 1 package (about 1 ½ teaspoons) rapid-rise yeast

• 1 cup warm water (but not so hot that it hurts your fingers)

• 3 tablespoons olive oil

• 1 tsp salt

• 2 ½ cups flour

• 1 ½ tsp dry basil

• 1 ½ tsp dry oregano Read More »

Most normal fajitas or any similar Mexican-like foods will set your number of daily calories over the edge with gobs of refried beans, sour cream, or crazy cheese sauces. Not this fajita—it has all the taste but serious health benefits as well. If you are craving something Mexican that isn’t quite authentic but that tastes fresh and delicious, this is what you want!

It can easily be a 15-minute dinner if you’re rushing, and it’s pretty versatile (any kind of bell pepper will work, the corn is optional, etc.). Here are the ingredients for one fajita:

• canola oil, olive oil, or vegetable oil (or any other oil, really)

• 1 thin-sliced chicken breast, cut into strips

• ¼ tsp taco seasoning

• ½ red bell pepper, sliced into very thin strips

• ½ medium onion, sliced into thin rings

• 2 tablespoons corn, fresh or frozen (optional)

• ½ to ¾ cup fresh spinach, rinsed and stemmed

• 2 tablespoons reduced-fat cheddar cheese

• 1 whole-wheat tortilla wrap

To begin, put the oil in a shallow pan. Let it heat up, and add the thin rings of onion and strips of bell pepper. Sauté them over low-medium or medium heat for 8-10 minutes, until they are browned, much reduced, and beginning to caramelize. Read More »