Wednesdays are rough. Even if your finals are over, you’re lounging on mama’s couch and you only have 48 more hours until you’re calling all your friends to tell them about the hot new Coach bag you snagged from the parentals.

And this day is especially rough for those unlucky souls who aren’t home yet and somehow lucked out with the last final of the week. Today. At 3 pm.

Whether you’re stuffing your face with mom’s famous brownies or stuffing your brain with useless information that you’ll forget the minute you walk out of that classroom, we thought we’d play a little game of “Would You Rather?” Because what is more fun (and a better distraction) than pondering life’s most random conundrums?

So, here we go. Choose your answer and explain why in the comments section below!

Would you rather date a guy who makes normal noises during sex but sounds like Chewbacca when he orgasms, OR date a guy who is completely silent every single time you have sex?

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On a particularly uneventful night my senior year, I went to the bar to grab a few drinks with some friends. We were sitting there (looking fabulous) minding our own business when a man approached. Personally, I am not a fan of thick neck hair or large ears, so I turned away and gave my cocktail some much needed attention. It seems that, in the throws of serious intoxication, one of my friends seemed to be quite taken by this man.

She chatted with him, had a few more drinks, and eventually (while running her hands through his thick, luxurious neck hair) leaned in close and whispered, “I think we are gonna go.”

After spitting Apple Martini all over the unsuspecting male perched on the bar stool beside me, I attempted to gather my thoughts. Here was one of my closest friends, someone I care deeply about, making one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Sure he looks good now (though I can’t fathom what she thinks she is looking at), but what is my friend going to do in the morning when she rolls over and finds Chewbacca in bed with her? I couldn’t possibly let that happen; it could scar her for life.

So, I did what any good girlfriend would do: I told her that I had to puke and made her take me home, leaving Furry McElephantEars to fend for himself. Read More »