These are the things I know about Jessica Simpson:

1. She is blonde.

2. She has little/no talent.

3. She once confused tuna and chicken.

4. She is ridiculously gorgeous and happens to be dating someone else who is ridiculously gorgeous.

5. She kisses with her eyes open?

6. She loves sex.

I mean, how else would you explain this quote she recently gave to Australia’s Daily Telegraph?

“I’d love six kids running around, but I guess I’ll have to start pretty soon.”

Six?! Six hot-but-totally-dumb children? She does realize that all those kids won’t give her Angelina’s career or worldwide respect, right? I mean, what is she thinking?

Unless this is her plan to get another reality show: Newlyweds meets Jon and Kate Plus 8…

I don’t know about you, but I am scared. And Jessica should be too; babies mean weight gain and stretch marks and getting all dowdy… without that killer body, this girl has nothing.