College Candy » chihuahua

‘Beverly Hills Chihuahua’ Has Some Serious Fleas

CC Staff — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 21:10:39 +0000

I’ve got a bone to pick with Disney’s latest pet project. The movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua, opening this Friday, looks like the costliest waste of talent, resources, and brainpower to hit the mainstream media since Swing Vote.

I first heard about the movie when I saw its extended trailer in previews for Wall-E this summer. It was just a mess of digitally edited footage of Chihuahuas singing (if you could call emphatic yelps of “Chihuahua!” singing) and prancing about Mayan ruins in Mexico. The trailer told you nothing about the plot of the movie itself, and even misrepresented the title of the film. If it’s called Beverly Hills Chihuahua, what are these pups doing in Chichen Itza?

Well, now that the ad campaign for this movie has revved up for its release, I’ve learned a lot more about BHC and I certainly don’t like what I see, for a few reasons.

First, and probably most egregious, is the fact that BHC is blatantly racist. It is rife with potshots at Mexican and Latino culture. Take, for example, the over-promoted scene in which another dog asks the prissy protagonist (Chloe, from the Hills), “don’t you speak Spanish?” When she stutters, the mastiff replies, “Hello? You’re a Chihuahua, m’hija!” As if the nature of one’s heritage determines one’s linguistic abilities. You wouldn’t walk up to a person who looked Hispanic and deride them for not speaking Spanish, so why is it okay for dogs to do it? Is this the kind example we want to be setting for children, at whom the film is targeted?

Moral repugnancies aside, BHC doesn’t look like it’s going to be racking up any points for creativity. If you include such colloquial gems as “oh no she didn’t!” and “say hello to my little friends!” among the funniest moments in the movie (why else would you include it in the trailer?), there can’t be much else worth checking out. Seriously, Disney, is it still 1992? No one has said “oh no she didn’t!” in all seriousness since overalls were popular.

With a multimillion dollar budget and Jamie Lee Curtis, Drew Barrymore, and George Lopez among the staring credits, you would expect far better from such an established label. To think of all the up-and-coming screenwriters, directors, and animators whose talents never get picked up because large studios like Disney would rather pump millions into a dead-end project like Beverly Hills Chihuahua is shameful. With the state of the economy these days, this movie represents all that is atrocious about American excess, and it would be a sin to plunk down any cash on a ticket for it. Take a look for yourself:



Celebrities and Their TINY Dogs: How I Hate Them
Carly - Grinnell — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:30:24 +0000
How do I hate celebrities with tiny dogs? Let me count the ways.
First, they treat their dogs as accessories. While I traditionally think that any dog smaller than a microwave is ugly, it’s not a tiny dog’s fault that he or she was born tiny. It is, however, a celebrity owner’s fault if she treats her dog as if it were a fashionable new Prada belt.
Hello! A dog is a living thing! If you’re going to treat it like a diamond necklace instead of like an animal, don’t get it in the first place. Yes, Paris Hilton, I am talking to you.
Point two—microscopic dogs are not cute. I know I already covered this, but it’s so important I feel the need to say it again. When a celebrity with flowing locks and perfect makeup is slobbering all over her Chihuahua, it looks like she’s kissing Swamp Thing. The fact that anyone would want to touch lips that have kissed every inch of a dog the size of a cotton ball is a mystery to me.
Finally, it is disturbing that dogs that can fit in handbags are actually put in handbags by some people. Most live humans can fit in a refrigerator, but do you see anyone shoving them in there? No, because humans need their space to move and stretch. Imagine that! Just because your dog is physically able to fit in your cavernous handbag does not mean that he or she enjoys being shoved up against your lip gloss and condom wrappers.
In a supreme example of just how stupid these celebrities are, the Alternative Consumer reports that dog smuggling and inhumane breeding of tiny dogs is on the rise in Eastern Europe because everyone and their mother wants a dog as big as a pacifier now.
Way to go, celebs! You’ve simultaneously managed to look idiotic and harm more dogs. Now that’s an accomplishment.

       


Getting Your Dog High is Not a Good Stress-Reliever
CC Staff — Wed, 09 May 2007 20:05:06 +0000
The other day, I witnessed a horrifying event. I was at a pre – finals party, and despite tests and papers looming over everyone’s heads, the spirit was high — literally.
There were about 20 people there, including a precious chihuahua I’ll call Tony. Tony, although several years old, retained his puppyesque glow at a whopping four pounds. Since I didn’t know very many people at the party, Tony and I became fast friends, playing tug – of – war in a corner and waiting for my ride to want to leave.
Until… Tony’s owner stumbled over, scooped him up, put her mouth on his, and blew. Smoke. Into the little chihuahua. She gave Tony back to me, but he was a goner. He slumped over on the floor, catatonic — I guess he was transfixed by the awesome jams. “Yeah, Tony!” Everyone laughed.
This was all a little much for me. Maybe it was the stress of my upcoming finals and the Blink 182 playing in the background, but I wanted to cry, or call the ASPCA, but I didn’t have their number so crying was a more reasonable option. I’ve heard tall tales of frat boys feeding their golden retrievers beer, but getting a tiny, defenseless chihuahua high? Not cool!
I left before Tony could perk back up. I really didn’t want to hang around to see what dogs ate when they got the munchies. In Tony’s case, I hope he found something good and gave his owner the dog food.