Someone very close to me is 22 years old and has never had a girlfriend. He is not gay (yes, I’m sure), and moreover, he doesn’t want a girlfriend. In my mind, I picture him as always being just by himself—that same picture with the inclusion of a romantic partner just seems weird to me.

Is there something wrong with that?

That’s the question, isn’t it? In a world where it’s normal to partner up, get married, and have children, it often seems to me that those who fall outside the norm are harassed for it. What exactly is so wrong about wanting to be single for always? In my mind, that’s a matter of preference and a personal choice for which no one should be discriminated against.

If a person is single and wants to be in a relationship or have children, that’s one thing. But if they don’t—lay off! Read More »

Yes, that is correct, I am destined to be one of those women. Feared by children and cats for companions (of course my personal choice would be books and alcohol instead of animals, not so high maintenance), I am only one more lovable feline pet away from becoming a Spinster.

I am 20 years old and I have never been in love, nor have I any desire to one day marry or bring children into this world. After much consideration of past relationships and basic encounters with men, I have decided that the only way to lead my life now is to become a Spinster.

Of course I’ll still maintain relations with men, but I’ll know that only the physical side of things will be involved.

By now, you probably think I’m some cold-hearted cynic, but I assure you I’m not. I am a genuinely nice person.

I’m also not gay. That is not denial. I’ve already been through a phase of questioning my sexuality.

This epiphany occurred to me one Saturday while walking to town for an unplanned window-shopping excursion. I had my usual inner monologue running in my head, which was mainly about the events of the previous night. It had been a usual Friday night and the beginning of the long awaited Easter weekend. The agenda for the night was to begin the weekend with a small pub crawl. The final stop of the night was at The Canterbury Tales, which is the last pub to close in town. We were enjoying ourselves, drinking and conversing the night away, when suddenly out of nowhere a group of in-line hockey boys surrounded us. Read More »

This scenario is all too familiar: You, crunched over in a ball with an empty bag of potato chips and chocolate bar wrappers strewn about yelling out “Why God why!?” while wondering if you’re considered ‘Promises Rehab’ status if you take ten Advil.If there is anything that my period cramps have taught me it’s that I soo do not want to have children. They say cramps are supposed to prepare your body for childbearing. I even read that because of this fact, I should ‘man up and face the pain’.

Nothing says “Let’s get pregnant” like debilitating cramps that ruin my weekend and keep me in fetal position for hours at a time. Childbirth is going to be like cupcakes and dandelions. Can’t wait.

When it comes to cramps I would say I take the opposite route of “manning up”. Heating pads, drugs, exercise, (booze?), whatever is necessary to help me get rid of the pain, I welcome with open arms. Read More »

How do you know when the world has gone too PC?When someone puts Santa on a diet.

In a shopping center near Dartford, England, Mall Santas are being put through a “month long boot camp” to help them lose weight before the Holiday season bombards their laps with little kids.

“There’s nothing wrong with Santa being the size that he is,” explains property manager Tim Holland, “we just want him to have a modern day makeover to reflect the realistic demands of being the world’s most renowned delivery man.”

Throughout November, shoppers have been able to watch 12 commissioned Santas put through the wringer by a personal trainer. While this Santa slim-down screams marketing ploy! to me, a spokeswoman from the British Heart Foundation claims “Creating a 21st Century Santa is an innovative idea encouraging children and adults to get into better shape.” Read More »