Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Recently, I’ve had one of the worst things happen to me that could happen to any college student: I had a falling out with my best friend. It was bad. The kind of thing you see in movies, where there’s yelling and tears. She pretty harshly informed me that she didn’t like me anymore. After three years of living together and being close friends, she ditched me to be BFFLs with another girl whom she finds to be more “exciting.”

But that’s not the problem I’m writing to you about. The problem lies in ones of the things my ex-bestie said to me during this final conversation. After basically listing all the things about me that she didn’t like, she also informed me that she didn’t like my boyfriend, John. When I asked why, she said it was because she “didn’t get him.” When I pressed her for a more legitimate reason, she wasn’t really able to give one. She just went on to say that pretty much everyone I knew felt like I was settling for him because I couldn’t find anyone else, and that the fact that I’d date a chubby guy is gross. A little background on my relationship with John: We’ve been dating for 2 months. He’s pretty much my first boyfriend. It took me a long time to find a guy, I won’t lie about that. I’m 21, and John is only the 3rd guy I’ve ever kissed. And yet, I knew from the time I met him that I liked him. He and I just click, and he treats me like gold. He even went out of his way to make sure that he made a good impression on my now ex-bestie when I introduced the two of them, because he wanted my friends to think he was a good person.

Needless to say, he failed. Anyhow, my whole point with this rant is that I’ve been having a nagging feeling ever since she said those things about John. I find myself wondering, “Am I settling for him?” Whenever we’re together, the feelings I have for him are like nothing I’ve ever experienced. But sometimes, when I’m at class during the day or in my room in the evenings, I start thinking about every interaction John and I had that day, searching through my memories for something about him I don’t like, a red flag that maybe I AM in fact just settling, and maybe I’ve just convinced myself that I like him more than I actually do. I’m starting to feel like I’m losing my mind. I really like John, but yet I’m constantly questioning whether I’m just desperate and I don’t even realize it. My best friend really got inside my head by saying that I was only going out with John for the sake of going out with someone after 21 years of being single.

I just don’t know what to do. In every relationship, there are things about the other person that you won’t like. I know that much for certain. My fear is just that maybe my has-been BFF was right, and I’m in some weird sort of denial about John. I start thinking about little things about him that aren’t ideal. He sometimes forgets to shave before we make out, he doesn’t exercise as much as he should, he snores — does the fact that there are some things about John that I don’t absolutely love me mean that I’m ignoring negative things about him for the sake of just having a boyfriend? In essence, am I therefore settling for him?

Then I get back to thinking about all the ways in which John makes me happy. He smells amazing, he calls me the sunshine of his life, he and I can talk about anything, his chubbiness makes him an excellent person to cuddle with, and he’s smart and funny. Shouldn’t that be enough to indicate that I really truly want to be with him? How do I stop obsessing over what my old best friend said and just enjoy being with John?

Please Help me.

Sincerely,
Words Managed to Hurt Me

Dear Words Managed To Hurt Me,

What the?!

Girl, you need a serious chill pill. Geez. Just reading this gives me anxiety. Calm the floop down.

You’ve been dating John for TWO MONTHS. Settling, not settling–who gives a shoop?! You barely KNOW the guy!!!

I say, if you like John, date John. You seem to like John. So date John. Until you don’t like John.

I mean, honestly. Isn’t that dating?! Meet someone, date someone, like someone and keep dating someone, dislike someone and stop dating someone.

IT’S SERIOUSLY NOT THAT HARD.

So if you like John, keep up the good work.

However, I am seriously concerned here about your lack of good judgement.

First of all, you seem more concerned about whether or not you’re “in denial” about your feelings for John than you are about, oh, say, your fallout with your best friend.

Now, she may just be a craphead. In which case, yes, by all means, forget about her.

But it sounds like she has some serious concerns about you, and it’s in your best interest to at least consider them. After all, this is a person who cared about you very much for a number of years, and it’s certainly someone who knows you well.

So if she said mean things? Floop her. But if there are things like “you aren’t a good listener” or “you’re too self-involved,” then maybe you should take a good look at yourself. We all should be constantly reevaluating our behavior and see how we can be better. Again, if she’s just being a jerk, forget it. But we can all better ourselves; take this opportunity to see if there’s anything she says that, when you think about, maybe you agree with.

Back to the boyfriend. Um, yeah. Who cares if he’s chubby? This thing she finds wrong with you is, I suspect, just a jab. I think you can ignore the idea that she thinks you’re “settling.” But not because you’re SO IN LOVE with him or anything–two months, girl, get a grip!!!–just because it seems like the kind of jerk thing one girl might say to another girl to hurt her feelings.

Sooooooo:

(1) Forget this “friend.”

(2) Reflect on if anything she says has any truth to it, and, if so, try to fix that behavior.

(3) Forget the stuff she said just to hurt you.

(4) Keep dating John till you decide you don’t like him anymore.

Okay?! Now can you please chill?!

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

For some reason lately, I’ve been on a real retro kick when it comes to my iPod. Looking back at my most ‘recently played’ list, every song comes from 1985 and before….and I wasn’t even born then. What can I say? I guess the combo of my recent break up and finals season makes me nostalgic.

Which brings us to this week’s pick….which may be a bit, uh, obvious? I mean, who doesn’t love The Beatles? Or, now that they’re on iTunes, not already have their entire catalog on their iPod?

Whatever. I figured this could be my opportunity to not only share my favorite Beatles album with you all, but also my favorite album of all time: Rubber Soul

About the Band: This category just seems silly for this band, so instead of giving you the usual rundown on John, Paul, George and Ringo, I thought I’d share some fun trivia. Did you know that while Paul was known as the lefty of the group, Ringo was left handed as well? When he joined the band, though, they only had a right handed set, so he just adapted.

Top 3 Tracks:

Norwegian Wood

Michelle

In My Life

Why You Should Listen to It:
There’s a reason the Beatles are known as the greatest band ever, and it’s because they were musical geniuses. Like all of their albums, Rubber Soul has a song for every mood, but mainly, this is my go-to album whenever I want to just chill out and relax. The best thing about it, though: you can sing along to every song on here, which is what we all need after a long day of studying, after a killer exam or when we’re packing up our things to go home at the end of another long and memorable school year.

Want more awesome iPod suggestions?

Not gonna lie, I could literally write an entire book of how I think everything Sofia Coppola does is the coolest shizz ever.

No big deal, she was only the director of some of my favorite movies, like The Virgin Suicides and Marie Antoinette. She’s just the daughter of Francis Ford Coppola, the director of The Godfather, besides being related to some of the coolest people in Hollywood (like Jason Schwartzman, heyo!).

Besides those minor details, she quietly pursues another interest (that she is, unsurprisingly, awesome at) and that is fashion.  She created her own fashion line called Milkfed, unfortunately for me, sold only in Japan. She and Marc Jacobs are pretty much best friendz forever, considering she is also his muse for his ENTIRE BRAND.  Also, the woman interned at Chanel when she was 15-years-old for Christ’s sake.  Wanna know what I was doing when I was 15?  Taking MySpace mirror pictures in my bathroom wearing a “sweet new top*~!”  Therefore, Sofia: 1 million, Cristina: 0.

The things she creates and inspires are godly to me, including her style.  The confusing yet awesome part of Sofia’s style is that she sticks many times to classic feminine pieces but has still been known to have a sort-of androgynous style as well.  Sofia will rock anything from jeans and a t-shirt to a Marc Jacobs original and make it all look like it was made for her specifically.  She has been quoted as not liking anything too loud and flashy, but sticks to a style that represents her calm disposition.  Plus she made it socially acceptable to wear flats to red-carpet events.  Yep, she definitely knows how to get the ball rollin’.

So, yeah, who wouldn’t want to take a little inspiration from this fashion icon? And here’s how we can all channel Sofia through our own wardrobes.

Bag, Skirt, Shoes, Shirt, Sunglasses

Sofia is all about the classics and it doesn’t get more classic than a crisp white shirt. Add a little girly flair by tucking it in to the polka dot skirt and mix things up a little with the masculine styling on these ballet flats. It’s a combo that totally works and just oozes Sofia’s personal style.

The wayfarer sunglasses add a hint of laid-back cool that is so very Sofia, and the overly structured (and somewhat masculine) bag is just another way to make this look a little androgynous and a lot more interesting. It also happens to be a similar style to the bag that she helped Louis Vuitton create in honor of her personal style, for about an eighth of the price.

Yes, LV made a bag just for her.

Stop being cooler than me, Sofia.

7 a.m.: Wake up. Still drunk from the bar last night? Mayyyybe.

9 a.m.: Arrive at the football stadium; crack your first beer.

9 a.m.-Noon: Tailgate your face off. Tailgating activities may or may not include: Beer pong, funneling, shotgunning, and general raging.

Noon: Kickoff. You’re highly buzzed, but still careful not to spill your overpriced stadium beer as you shake your foam finger at the other team.

7 p.m.: You pass out. Hey, it was a long day, man.

Now that’s what I call a waste of a Saturday night. I know that rallying for almost 12 hours straight can take its toll. Especially when you’re running on a few hours of sleep after a killer Friday night. But if you pace yourself, and plan your evening effectively, there’s no reason that you can’t take in both the football game and a killer kegger (or two).

1. Don’t Chug, Chill.

Get too drunk too quickly, and you’re likely to pass out before halftime, let alone make it till midnight. Tailgating festivities often require heavy drinking, so if you find yourself partaking in a shotgun contest, follow the beer with a water. Spreading out your alcohol intake will allow you to last longer. Afterall, following a tailgate with a party is like a party marathon. And don’t they tell marathon runners to pace themselves so they can make it to the finish line? Oh, the things college kids could learn from athletes.

2. Counteract with Caffeine.

Pound a Redbull on the way to the game, or start your bar night with a vodka and Redbull. Still chilly in your student section hoodie? Bring a thermos of coffee to the tailgate…then spike it with Bailey’s. Yum! Even if you’re really tired, however, monitor your caffeine intake. One or two cups of coffee or one energy drink should get you through the day.

3. Keep the Adrenaline Pumping.

If the excitement level declines, you’re energy is bound to follow suit. Your adrenaline is rushing as you cheer on your football team, and then you lose momentum in the downtime between the game and the party. Arrange a rowdy post-game dinner of wings and pizza with your fellow tailgaters, so you can recount all the great plays. It’ll keep you pumped, and you won’t even realize how much time has passed between your first beer and your last shot. Then, when you get to the party, keep yourself going by chatting up a hottie or signing up to be on the first beer pong team.

4. Steam Up Your Second Wind.

You’ve been up for hours, hanging out in the cold (and possibly rainy) weather. Beer is seeping out your pours. Take a long, hot, steamy shower. The hot water will wake you up and make you feel clean and ready to go again. Besides, staying fresh and clean might also help stave off the germs that’ll take their toll in flu form come Monday. AND you can always chug a beer in between shampooing and conditioning.

5. Powernap…Before it’s Too Late.

Positive you’re not going to make it? Throw in the towel early, and salvage the rest of your night. Taking a nap at 5 or 6 leaves plenty of time to sober up, recharge, and get ready to rage. If you keep drinking and try to make it to the post-party kickoff, you might crash at 9 or 10, only to sleep through the night and kick yourself in the a.m.