So last week, I had a bit of a meltdown. A pre-grad crisis if you will, freaking out about what comes next before I even get there. So this week, I’m trying to fix that in the best way I know how. By eating lots of ice cream and watching old episodes of Gossip Girl making a list. But not just any list, a list of post-grad goals for myself. They’re rather vague but they are things worth working towards, things that I actually want to achieve someday.

1. Find a job that makes me happy. I double majored in English Literature and Philosophy. Not exactly majors that have a set career path. And so in the past four years I’ve contemplated everything from lawyer to information technology assistant to Food Network star (mostly just so I could co-host with Bobby Flay) and I’m really no closer to figuring out where I’m going to end up. But even if I have to take a few starter jobs along the way I am eventually going to choose a career that makes me happy, whatever that may be.

2. Get my masters. I’m not sure if I’ll be starting grad school in the fall or not, but I do know that I will be attending at some point. And not just because some statistic somewhere says that some number of people who get their masters are some percentage more likely to make a higher salary (I want to write…who am I kidding, anyway), but because it’s a personal goal of mine. I’ve always been a lover of learning, and even though I’ve had my fair share of complaints about classes this year, when it comes down to it all, I really do enjoy it. So I want to get my masters. At some point.

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Okay. So we’re going to do that thing where I write a word, and you say the first word that comes to mind. Ready? Okay.

Chivalry.

Right. So what are you thinking? Knights and ladies? Castles? Old school gentleman? Do you even know what chivalry is? Why am I playing the word association game with you? Well, I’ll tell you. A few days ago, The Frisky did this great post on what exactly it means to be chivalrous in today’s world and what it means to be a gentleman. Is it an outdated concept? Does it encourage stereotypical gender roles? Is chivalry dead, and if it’s not, should it be?

Obviously, this got me thinking all sorts of things about girls wearing hoop skirts and guys opening doors, and then, further back in time to Heath Ledger knights in armor and what I would look like in one of those peasanty gowns with super long hair…but I digress. The point is I started thinking about chivalry, but as often as I’ve heard about chivalry and as much as I’ve talked about if I couldn’t quite come up with a definition. So the natural researcher that I am, I looked it up. On Urban Dictionary. And the results, well, I wouldn’t so much call them helpful as I would eye opening. There were two pages worth of definitions which ranged from “is dead” to “an idea developed by Queen Eleanor of England” to “Women killed it. They don’t like when we are nice to them anymore.” Granted there were some more appropriate definitions, but for the most part that was pretty much it.

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[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like the sheer fashion trend!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Earlier this month, we were asking where chivalry had gone – and I’m down with that, I’d like to know where the little sucker slipped of to, too. But what I want to talk about now is, if chivalry is gone, do we really want it back? And should we expect it?

No matter how you slice it, chivalry always smacks of gender inequality. And yeah, it’s a lot harder to complain about inequality when you’re the one benefiting from it, but shouldn’t we still stand up against it? Are we hypocrites if we don’t? Add to that the fact that most of the little things we ascribe to the idea of chivalry (flowers, love tokens, professions of undying love) are all essentially just methods of winning over or even buying our affections. Isn’t that something that we in the post-feminist era should rebel against on principal?

We’ve fought for years to say that we’re just as good as men, that we shouldn’t be treated differently – and now, like it or not, this lack of chivalry is basically just guys treating us exactly like they treat each other. Hello, feminist victory here! Read More »

Romeo and Juliet probably would not have been the famous star-crossed lovers had they met at a bar instead of a balcony. We all remember the duo that defined infatuation, Juliet up on her pedestal and Romeo down on one knee. Though I hate to be the bearer of bad news, the times have changed since the days of poetic love letters and walking a girl to the front door.

Despite what Taylor Swift might sing.

Let’s not be blinded by St. Valentine himself. A few secret admirers are sprouting up these days and chocolates may end up in my mailbox on the 14^th of February, but I want to focus on the other 364 calendar days. Where did dinner at a nice restaurant go? Why are guys no longer lending a sweater when my arms get chilly? How come the term “first date” is becoming just as out-of-date as the Spice Girls’ famous “girl power” slogan?

Let’s face it: Chivalry is dead on college campuses. Feel free to send flowers because a guy is not about to.  The love letters that used to bear hearts and souls have been replaced by 140 character text messages. That first date is more likely to involve a grungy couch at 2a.m., not a romantically lit table for two. Gone are the days of sweaty palms and Cupid’s arrows. These days college courtship revolves around Facebook “pokes” and the highly anticipated changing of the status from “single” to “in a relationship”.

I hear tales all the time from my parents and extended family that involve sweet little love stories laced with flowers left on the doorstep and first dates where a guy actually met the parents. And he picked the girl up. And he actually took her somewhere that didn’t include Solo cups and a $5 cover charge.

Crazy, I know. Read More »