I’m going to give you a clue for anyone who’s ever wondered what my secret identity really is: I’m not Josh Hartnett. I’m not even a fan of his, but I am a fan of 40 Days/40 Nights and since Ash Wednesday was oh, so, recent, I felt inspired to re-watch that rom-com romp. In case you’ve never seen it, it’s about a heartbroken Hartnett who is socially and emotionally crippled from being dumped by his long-term girlfriend that he takes a vow: no sexual gratification for Lent and thus freeing himself from her…influence? I don’t know, the logic takes some selling, I’m sure Sarah Palin could make sense of it. Being as this is the season of Lent, when good Catholic boys and girls are sacrificing one of their favorite luxuries for 40 days, I started to wonder, how productive an idea is this for the 21st century? I’m all for penance, don’t get me wrong, love me some BDSM, but while you can give up certain things, are their ones that you shouldn’t give up? I mean, Josh Hartnett becomes unable to work, have friendships, or eat pancakes. Is that healthy? Isn’t that going a bit too far? So, after some extensive research, I’ve come up with a list of 11 things that women should not give up for Lent, for the good of mankind.

initiating the gallery...

There you have it, ladies. 11 things you shouldn’t sacrifice for Lent. Some of these might be shocking. Some of these might be bewildering. But that’s the way it goes sometimes. What did I miss? What couldn’t you live without for 40 days and 40 nights? Before you even ask in the comments, don’t worry, this is just part one. Next time, we’re going to tackle the boys…figuratively speaking.

Fire in the hole!

The Dude

Dear friends who thought I would stop ranting about Valentine’s Day once I was in a relationship, I’m sorry; you were mistaken.

I know I’m not the only person that rants about V-Day (coupled or otherwise). My new favourite Tumblr account, Occupy Valentine’s Day, proves it. Created by Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining Your Life author (and Executive Editor of Feministing), Samhita Mukhopadhyay, the site is collecting stories of love that are not limited to the commercial definition. The site wants to change the culture of romance. For my contribution I’m going to share some facts you might not have known about V-Day.

• In the United States the cost of the 189 million red roses sold around February 14 adds up to a whopping $1.6 billion.
• California produces more roses than any other state, but Columbia and Ecuador produce 90% of roses sold in the US.
• 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent in the US, which if attached could make a chain wrapping around the world five times over.
• According to National Geographic the holiday originates from a “raucous annual Roman festivals where men stripped naked, grabbed goat- or dog-skin whips, and spanked young maidens in hopes of increasing their fertility.”
• National Geographic also reports this year V Day will generate $17.6 billion in sales. Up from last year, this shows the economy is getting better.
• 8 billion chalky conversation hearts will be produced this year.
• 11% of Americans get engaged on Valentine’s Day.
• Condom sales will increase by 20-30%.

When women think of Valentine’s Day, boxed candy, roses and cheesy Hallmark cards from loved ones often come to mind. But let’s be real. The key to any girl’s heart is chocolate. Lots and lots of it. In honor of the anniversary of Hershey’s Chocolate — which was founded on February 9th, 1894 — and to get you to think outside the heart-shaped box this Valentine’s Day, we present to you some positively decadent chocolate-based recipes.

Impress your friends and loved ones with these cheap, easy and incredible treats. Even the most challenged baker can master what we’ve culled here for you!

Easy Chocolate Bark

This delicious recipe is perfect if you’re craving a chocolatey snack, and it only requires two types of ingredients.

Ingredients:

6 ounces of dark chocolate

4 ounces of semisweet chocolate

½ cup almonds, chopped

Directions:

1. Combine the chocolates and melt in a microwavable bowl.
2. Line a cookie sheet with a piece of parchment paper
3. Pour the melted chocolate over the parchment paper. Use a spatula to evenly spread the chocolate.
4. Sprinkle chopped almonds over chocolate layer.
5. Put the bark in the refrigerator for about 45 minutes
6. Cut the bark into three-inch pieces and serve.

Chocolate Mousse

A quick and easy, yet completely delectable, no-bake dessert made in the time it’ll take you to watch the latest episode of Modern Family.

Ingredients:

8 ounces of semisweet chocolate

2 cups skim milk

2 packages sugar-free chocolate Jell-O

2 cups of fat-free cool whipped topping

1/3 cup of fresh brewed coffee

Directions:

1. Melt the chocolate, 1 cup of milk and the coffee on high in the microwave for 2 minutes.
2. Add the remaining milk and pudding packages to the chocolate mixture. Refrigerate for about 30 minutes.
3. Take the pudding out of the refrigerator, fold in cool whip and serve.

Chocolate Dipped Strawberries

Dark chocolate + Sweet strawberries = A (somewhat) healthy, satisfying and fail-proof sexy dessert.

Ingredients:

6 ounces dark chocolate, chopped

3 ounces white chocolate, chopped

1 pound strawberries with stems, washed and dried very well

Directions:

1. Put the dark and white chocolates into two separate heatproof medium bowls.
2. Fill two medium saucepans with a couple inches of water and bring to a simmer over medium heat.
3. Turn off the heat and set the bowls of chocolate over the water to melt. Stir until smooth. (If you want to limit the clean-up process or don’t have a stove, melt the chocolates in a microwave at half power for 1 minute, stir and then heat for another minute until melted.)
4. Once the chocolates are melted and smooth, remove from the heat.
5. Line a sheet pan with parchment or waxed paper.
6. Holding the strawberry by the stem, dip the fruit into the dark chocolate, lift and twist slightly, letting any excess chocolate fall back into the bowl.
7. Set the strawberry on the parchment paper and repeat with the rest.
8. Dip a fork in the white chocolate and drizzle over the dipped strawberries.
9. Set the strawberries aside for 30 minutes, or until the chocolate sets.

Oreo Truffle Balls

This is seriously the easiest and most satisfying recipe for Valentine’s Day, and it’ll be hard to resist more than one. Trust me.

Ingredients:

1 (16-ounce) package OREO Chocolate Sandwich Cookies

1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened

2 (8-ounce) packages semi-sweet baking chocolate

Directions:

1. Crush package of cookies to fine crumbs in a food processor. (If that’s not available, you can also put the cookies in a Ziploc bag and use a rolling pin and place in a medium bowl).
2. Add cream cheese, mix until well blended.
3. Line two baking sheets with parchment or wax paper.
4. Roll cookie mixture into balls, about 1-inch diameter.
5. Place in refrigerator for 30 minutes or until hardened.
6. In a medium saucepan, melt chocolate until smooth.
7. Take cookies out of the refrigerator, dip the balls in chocolate and place back on baking sheet.
8. Refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour. Store leftover truffles, covered in refrigerator.

[Lead Image via avs/Shutterstock]

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College students are creatures of habit. We hang out with the same people. Got to the same bars. Buy the same types of clothes. Take the same classes. And you can’t blame us really. We know what we like. We know what works. So why change a good thing, right? Right. But not only does that apply to clothes and classes, it also applies to the kitchen. Because if there is one thing that has been made a college cliche, it’s college food. We’re known for our Red bull and Ramen noodles. But hey we’re creatures of habit, and we like what we like…

Oysters, chocolate, and green M&Ms chili. No, I’m not listing off ingredients for a (seemingly disgusting) recipe; I’m listing off well-known aphrodisiacs, AKA foods that allegedly get you in the mood to get freaky with yo bad self (and your partner).

Well, get excited peeps, because there are a few new frisky foods to add to that list.

The Food Research International journal has recently published research saying that saffron and ginseng also boost sexual performance.

The professor behind the research said these natural aphrodisiacs theoretically enhance performance and libido and, because they are simply common spices, are safe to experiment with. Unlike alcohol, another aphrodisiac (the effects of which we’ve all experienced, am I right?), saffron and ginseng will not cause judgment impairment (the effects of which we’ve all unfortunately experienced, am I right?), meaning this is a fun and safe way to literally spice up your love life.

While it has yet to be determined what affect saffron in household cooking will have on your sexual desire, there is no harm in trying it out. If you’re looking to add a little somethin’ spicy to your love life, cooking a meal with saffron could do the trick, especially if you and your bed buddy cook together. (And double especially if you cook together with a bottle of wine nearby.) Paella and saffron rice are two dishes that incorporate saffron. But if you’re not feeling that ambitious or don’t even know where the grocery store is to stock up on saffron, check out your local Spanish restaurant, where saffron dishes are abundant. Bonus points for salsa dancing – if saffron in the paella doesn’t do the trick, a little Havana Nights-inspired hip thrusting definitely will.

As for ginseng, it’s slightly more difficult to use, but as it’s easily found in tea form, you can skip all the efforts of cooking and cleaning and get straight to bed. Easy peasy.

And that’s that. Will you be adding a little saffron into the mix? Have you ever felt the affects of an aphrodisiac? Share your thoughts below.

Oh, and P.S. This study also found that chocolate may not actually be an aphrodisiac and the psychological meaning of chocolate could be influencing this common belief! Yes, the chocolate companies have successfully linked their products with romance, meaning people associate them with sex, but really, pounding a bag of M&Ms (green or any other color) will only make you full.

Even after last week’s recipe, I’m still on a chocolate kick. I hope none of you ladies will object to learning the recipe for the fastest, easiest, cheapest fudge ever. Because you never know when you’re going to have a fudge-mergency. Like a bad break up. Or an award show. Or really, really bad PMS.

Minimalist’s Fudge

Ingredients:

16 oz. of chocolate (chocolate bars, chocolate chips, whatever!)
1 can condensed milk (or milk substitute)
1 TBS vanilla (option)
1/2 tsp salt (optional)

Recipe:

1) On the stove, fill a pot about halfway with water and boil it on low heat. Once it starts to bubble, place a pot of about the same size on top of it and add your chocolate to this second pot. The double pots will keep your chocolate from burning, but be sure to keep an eye on it and stir if necessary.

2) As you watch your chocolate melt, resist the temptation to dip your finger in there and slowly stir in the can of condensed milk. Continue to stir until the mix is smooth and creamy (approximately ten to fifteen minutes).

3) Pour the warm chocolate into a glass dish (maybe an 8X8 size) and allow it to cool. Then, transfer to the freezer (or fridge if you have no room) and allow it to solidify.

4) Bring it back out after your fudge has hardened. Go at it with a fork Slice, serve, repeat. Hey, something has to fuel us through midterms . . .

Get more awesome recipes right here

Keeping the healthy-but-good vibe going (AKA chocolatey things that won’t blow your Spring Break diet plan), this week I bring you my spin on a recipe that has been making healthy foodies (and even not-so-healthy foodies!) gaga for years: chocolate avocado mousse.

Featured ingredient: Avocado

Based on recent studies, the avocado is another anti-cancer food. It’s also high in potassium and monosaturated (read: good) fat. Eating avocados can promote healthy skin and hair. Plus, it’s silky texture and muted flavor make it the perfect base for just about any sweet recipe.

Recipe:

1 avocado, halved, skinned and pitted

½ cup cocoa powder

1 TBS vanilla

½ cup of your sweetener of choice (Splenda, Stevia, Truvia….)

¼ cup chocolate milk or milk substitute (optional)

Instructions:

1. Cut your avocado in half horizontally and twist the halves in opposite directions to break it open. Remove the pit and skin the avocado. Chop it into a few medium-sized pieces and put it in the food processor.

2. Add the cocoa powder, vanilla, sweetener, and milk (if you’re using any) to the food processor. Secure the lid and blend on high for about thirty seconds, or until your mousse reaches desired consistency.

3. Serve it as is or chill in the refrigerator. Share with friends. Be proclaimed healthy foodie goddess.

Get more awesome recipes right here

With three words I’ve probably caused every single reader to groan in frustration. You’re probably trying to forget this day exists, aren’t you? Trying to pretend this is just a normal Monday.

Well it’s not. Today is Valentine’s Day. And single or coupled, or complicated, Valentine’s Day is a day worth celebrating. (Hello, we spent an entire week trying to get that point across!) You cannot escape the mayhem that surrounds this day. You cannot ignore it. You cannot hide from it. So you might as well embrace it. And here’s why…

10. Those valentines you used to get as a little kid. You know what I’m talking about. You probably have a whole bunch of them saved somewhere. The ones that have your favorite cartoon characters on them. The ones with too much lace and cheesy sayings. The ones you loved then and still love now.

9. Chocolate. Not only is it delicious, but apparently it’s also good for you. And Valentine’s Day is one of very few holidays when you can eat an entire box of chocolate truffles without getting strange looks, whether you bought them for yourself or they’re a gift from your beau.

8. Conversation candy hearts. You know those cute, multicolored, heart shaped sugar cubes that have flirty little sayings on them. When I was younger I use to pick through the bag of them searching for my favorites. Be mine. Txt me. True Love. You rock. I was always a fan of Cutie Pie. What about you?

7. That Ashton Kucher movie. Valentine’s Day. A sad impersonation of Love Actually? Yes. An overstuffed celebrity cast? Sure. But Ashton and Jen’s sweet kiss? Jessica Alba checking into a hotel with her dog? Jessica Biel beating the candy out of a heart shaped piñata for single girls everywhere?  Eric Dane and Bradley Copper in love? Totally makes this movie a worthy watch. It even made Taylor Swift’s “Today Was a Fairy Tale” totally listenable. Which reminds me…

6. Taylor Swift’s music suddenly doesn’t seem so cheesy. While I admit to having sung along to “Better Than Revenge” on more than one occasion, I often find Taylor’s more romantic songs to be a bit too cheesy for my tastes. But not on Valentine’s Day. Nothing says love quite like “you’re the best thing that’s ever been mine.”

5. It’s the perfect excuse for a night out. Romantic dinner with your significant other or a fun night out with your girls. Tons of restaurants have Valentine’s Day specials that aren’t just for couples. So pull a Carrie and Miranda and head out to dinner on Valentine’s Day night with your best girlfriends and be each other’s valentines. Plus, it requires you buy that…

4. Sparkly new dress. You know, the one you’ve been eying for months now. The one you visit at the mall weekly. The one you want so badly, but you don’t have anywhere to wear it. Well, now you do. Wear it to Valentine’s Day dinner. Bonus points if it’s red or pink.

3.  Red nail polish. Red-red or orange red? Doesn’t really matter as long as it’s red. Step away from the neutral color palette for the day, that nail polish color that you always go back to because it goes with everything, and rock those red nails. My personal choice? Sally Hansen’s Complete Salon Manicure, Right Said Red. What’s yours?

2. The Glee episode. If there were ever a reason to change your opinion on Valentine’s Day, it would be the Valentine’s Day Glee episode that aired last Tuesday. Listen to Kurt sing “Silly Love Songs,” to Puck rock out to “Fat Bottomed Girls” or to Rachel’s tribute to single girls everywhere, as she belted out “Firework.” Watch Finn kiss every girl in the school. And then tell me you hate Valentine’s Day. Okay?

1. It’s a celebration of love. But not just couple love, familial love, love among friends, or pets, or coworkers. It’s a celebration of you and anyone you care about. It’s a chance to say “Hey, I’m glad you’re in my life,” to just about anyone who matters. So celebrate Valentine’s Day, even if you’re Facebook status doesn’t say “In a Relationship.” (And” celebrate” does not mean “pity party,” ladies!)

[Check out Jenn's other musings-in-the-form-of-a-list here.]