So I was listening to the (justifiably) uber-controversial extended mix of “Birthday Cake” by Rihanna and Chris Brown today. Luckily, a Breezy-free remix has been floating around Tumblr for the last day, so I am mostly able to enjoy this delightfully raunchy tune for what it is – a celebration of a lady receiving oral sex. Of course I can support this. However, I ended up being distracted by one line in particular – “Put a candle on my back, baby, blow it.” In other words, she wants someone to blow her back out, one of the most popular euphemisms for aggressive sex. This joins a list of other terms — such as “smash”, “bang”, “hit it”, “pound”, and a slew of others — as acceptable ways to describe intercourse.

I admit,  I am no stranger to playfully talking about hitting it (and then quitting it) with friends, and usually, I can hear these things and not even give it a second thought. But in the last few days, especially in light of the Chris Brown circlejerks and the subsequent backlash, violence, and our society’s perception and reaction to it has been on my mind. To keep it as succinct as possible – the way that violent language has been normalized by society is a direct reflection and constant reaffirmation of our society’s cavalier response to violence against women. No, I don’t think that just because someone says they want to smash means they condone beating up a woman, but no one lives in a vacuum. The fact that such phrases have caught on en masse and are used so casually is the problem. Read More »

In the early decade, America was swarmed with teen pop (and R&B) stars. After all the greats had grown up and moved on to better things, we were left starless. Destiny’s Child had become Destiny’s Woman. Brittany Spears had gone from a teen cutie to a sexy bombshell that you had to convince your parent was still making albums with no parental advisory. Backstreet Boys turned to Backstreet Men. N’Sync turned to…Justin.

And then – voila!- there was Aaron Carter, Lil Bow Wow, B2K, Lil Romeo, 3LW, Ciara, Jo-Jo, Jesse McCartney, and yes, even our occasional Disney Actors “ternt sangas” (as T-Pain would say). But where were the breakthrough stars?

Then, we met Chris Brown and Rihanna. Read More »

We haven’t heard much from Chris Brown since “the incident” before the Grammy’s, but if this new home video is anything, it’s his (shady) attempt to get back into our hearts and minds. Because he’s got a new album dropping. And a new single coming out this summer! And because he likes to bowl and is not a “monster.”

Fail.

Maybe it’s too little too late for me, or maybe it’s years of shunning the guys who ditched my girlfriends working against him, but I’m so not down with Chris Brown. (I am, however, totally down with rhyming.)  I also will not be down with buying his album, downloading his single, or requesting his songs on the radio. Mostly because I haven’t done that since I was in middle school and just had to hear the Titanic song.  Will I be able to avoid him completely?  No, of course not.  Just like you can’t avoid seeing that douchebag that screwed over your bestie freshman year strutting around campus.

Is Rihanna my bestie? No, most definitely not (but that would be pretty sweet, you gotta admit), but she’s a woman and I’m a woman, so there’s a connection there.  Considering what happened, I’d say that I’m gonna take her side even though I’ve never met her (and probably never will).

Nevertheless, this is a tricky topic.  Should we forgive Chris Brown and keep enjoying his music (despite that really lame video), or should his actions have an effect on his life and career foreeeeverrrr (sorry, couldn’t resist)?

What do you think?

Of all the award shows (what are there, 74?), the Grammys is my absolute fave. Unlike the Emmy Awards or the Oscars that get really boring after awhile, the Grammys are chock full of awesome performances from the best artists of the year. It’s like my dream concert made better by the fact that I get to watch the whole thing on my couch… with a tube of cookie dough.

And last night was no disappointment. Well, maybe the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna sitch – lord knows I would have loved to see her performing. Coldplay and Jay-Z? Katy Perry? Al Green and Justin Timberlake? Our homegirl, Jennifer Hudson?

I was dancin’ in my living room. Yes, cookie dough in hand.

And the red carpet wasn’t too shabby, either. It definitely kept me on my toes. I don’t know what it is about this particular award show, but people really like to think outside the box with their fashion choices. I saw way too many origami-inspired dresses, not to mention the weird thing that Paris Hilton decided to sport. And the guys weren’t much better. I mean, I know Coldplay was performing but did they have to wear those costumes all night? You didn’t see Katy Perry rocking the sparkley Chiquita Banana outfit on the Red Carpet…

Below are some of the more….er….interesting fashion statements from the Grammys. I mean, who really thinks a giant bow should be placed directly over your lady parts?

I don’t know, friends; I just don’t know. At least it made for some exciting TV, though. (Click on the picture to get a glance at the whole weird-lookin’ ensemble.) Read More »