So I know I haven’t written in like forever, but it’s time for me to tell you that me and Benji broke up. I totally thought that me and him would last – like I didn’t think that he’d mind that I had another boyfriend.

But whatever, I’m so over Benji and I am totally hearting Chris now. Nicole can KEEP Benji all to herself now.

My new boyfriend like OWNS MySpace so he can help me redo my page so that way if I wanted to really run for President, he’d make it so that the whole country can vote on my page instead of having to go to those polls. Those are probably like really far and out of the way for everyone. But whatever, the election is like next year so that’s plenty of time. I bet we’ll be married by then!!

I don’t normally like to get so serious – but Blackberry, I’m lonely. Like sure I have sex with any guy who gives me the *look* but I don’t have any girls to call to tell them about my sex or if it burns when I pee. LA is too full of jealous girls whose boobs are bigger than mine so I decided that I’m going to go to London to find my new best friend. I think that it’s in France so that means that we can shop there together and everything. Read More »

While you were up way past your bedtime watching Michael Phelps dominate the pool in Beijing, you probably missed out on some serious stuff happening back here in the states.

Like the fact that Hollywood is breaking apart at the seams.

Seriously, everyone is heading to break-up city! Even the rock solid couples…

Like Paris and Benji! Say it ain’t so! I thought this was the real thing. I thought this was forever. I guess “forever” in Paris’s mind means, “Until something more scandalous comes along that can get me back in the public eye.” This time, it was Chris DeWolfe, the Co-Founder of Myspace, that did the trick. And, while I liked the idea of her and Nicole having matching husbands, I think this new couple is a match made in heaven. She loves overwhelming the world with pictures of herself….and he runs the company that does just that.

I just can’t wait to see what kind of pictures/videos surface online from this relationship. A Night in Paris Part Deux? Read More »