For a lot of my life, I’ve been a religious person. I went on mission trips every summer with my church, I was on my church’s Youth Board, and I attended mass every Sunday (oh yeah, I’m Catholic). So when I got to college, one of the first things I did was to see what campus ministries were available. While other girls were rolling out of bed at 1:00 pm on Sundays and going for a hungover brunch, I was in the student cinema with about a hundred other students praising God.

Because I became so involved with my campus ministry, I met a lot of friends with my same beliefs and morals. While this shouldn’t be a problem in my life, it became one almost from the very beginning. Once people find out that I’m religious, they start to make a lot false assumptions about myself, as well as my friends.

Assumption #1: We are holier than thou

The first thing I always hear is that we are “holier than thou.”  I’ve learned through my experiences that a lot of other Christians have trouble going to church. They say that if they went, it would make them feel like they have to act holy all the time. So this makes it even difficult for me to really express everything I feel about God. I don’t want people pointing out examples of how I’m not leading the most holy life. And I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes it’s easier for me to pick one persona or another. Either the quiet, Christian girl who won’t talk about her problems or the troubled party-goer. A lot of people will argue that it’s not worth going to church because all the pews are filled with a bunch of hypocrites. Sure it’s a valid point, but they’re forgetting why we go to church in the first place.

We go to church because frankly, we aren’t good at being a holy people. We need God (because we aren’t perfect), so we seek Him in church. My friends and I are just like you and we won’t judge you because you might make different choices than us. I have never condemned people for their life choices, because that is one thing the Bible tells us to never do. What it does tell us to do is love everyone. As a Christian, I try to view people as God views them – with unconditional love.

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Why does it matter how many people someone has had sex with?

In the world of journalism, that, my friends, is called a question lede. I’m supposed to spend the rest of this article trying to answer that question, but honestly I can’t make any promises. You see, that question has been in my mind for a while now, and I can’t seem to figure it out. Why do people care about someone’s “magic number,” and why is a person’s morality level judged by how many sexual partners they’ve had?

Historically speaking, it’s understandable why chastity and virginity were important. Without any kind of protection, getting pregnant or catching a disease was very much a reality. Virginity was maintained until marriage because no one wanted to catch a disease from their future spouse. Which is fair enough, really.

But those reasons are mainly invalid in modern times; we have condoms to save us from diseased genitals and unwanted fetuses. So long as sex is protected, it really shouldn’t matter how many people have been involved. Sex with multiple partners (not necessarily at the same time…) is often frowned upon as being immoral and looked at as being a “sin of the flesh” – but what is so immoral about it? No one is getting hurt and no one is being damaged. So long as the people involved are consenting and protected, there really is nothing immoral about it. Read More »

Oy vey.

Last week, AOL’s Parent Dish blog posted an interview with Jon Gosselin in which the revolting reality star revealed that he’s flirting with Judaism. His current girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, is a Member of the Tribe herself, and she’s apparently turned him on to the wonders of Jewish holidays and munchies: “I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I’m learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar’s. I love that place. I’m learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself,” he said.

The interviewer then asked Jon if he can see himself converting, and he replied by saying that he’s already spoken to Rabbi Shmuley, star of TLC’s Shalom in the Home and Michael Jackson’s former BFF.

Jon’s only the latest in a long line of public figures who have made headlines by dabbling in Judaism—Britney Spears was spotted wearing a Star of David this summer, fueling rumors that she was switching religious teams to get closer to once and current boyfriend Jason Trawick. Lindsay Lohan reportedly announced on Facebook that she was converting for Samantha Ronson, although it’s unclear whether she went through with it since she and Sam split up last spring. And don’t forget about Madonna, whose uber-Christian name makes her devotion to Kabbalah insanely ironic. Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like lowering the drinking age!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Let’s get one thing straight: here at CollegeCandy, we accept all colors and creeds – and we are not talking about race here (a girl from Jamaica and one from Kenya might share a racial group, but have totally different cultural heritages). In fact, it was my multi-ethnic group of friends who got me thinking about the issue.

Because I have no real cultural heritage, I never really considered issues like this, at least until my Indian friend mentioned that she only dates inside her ethnic group. A part of my brain automatically said “that’s racist!” But then she started talking about how the culture she grew up in is important to her and how she would rather be with someone who can understand and share that background with her, and maybe their kids, one day. And I have to admit, I can see her point of view.

I’ve spent most of my dating life with white Christian guys because they’re who I grew up with, but now that I’m dating a Jewish guy, I have to admit, sometimes I feel like an outsider. And likewise, I’ve wondered what would happen if we had kids? After all, the way that I ended up without a cultural heritage was that my ancestors didn’t bother about their cultural differences. These are questions that had never occurred to me before, but suddenly, they seem important.

On the one hand, there are a lot of great things to be said about inter-cutural dating. After all, isn’t looking past the surface, seeing everyone as equal, something we’ve been aspiring to for a long time? All of the mixing helps us learn and understand about other groups – and let’s face it, you make more of an effort to understand something if someone you care about is involved in it (Manishewitz would not have been on my “to try” list if not for my guy). Also, I certainly wouldn’t want to give up my relationship, or expect anyone else to, just because of something like background – it sounds silly to even consider it. Read More »

A lot of people find part of their identity with their religion:

“I’m Catholic”
“I’m atheist”
“I’m Jewish”

Even if someone’s beliefs can’t be put under a specific religious category, everyone has their own opinion on how humans got here and how people should live their lives.  All of these different views come together to make a unique world, but religious differences have the potential to hurt or even end a relationship.

Because religious views generally have a great impact on a person’s lifestyle, differing views can cause conflict in relationships. An atheist may be incredibly uncomfortable if their significant other wanted to attend church every Sunday and prayed every day. Likewise, a person who is used to being involved in religious practices may feel like something is wrong with them if their boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want to come with them to Bible study or other religious gatherings.

And then there’s the family. And the potential future family.
It can really become a hot mess of opinions, beliefs and arguments.

While this may be overwhelming for some, there are ways to cope with religious differences and make a relationship last. Taking turns attending religious practices can give both members of the relationship a look into a new religious lifestyle. Each person could take time discussing with the other what their religious views mean to them and what they do or do not want to do because of them. Essentially, a couple needs to reach a compromise that makes them both feel comfortable. Read More »

Ever since I started college, I have found it super inconvenient that Spring Break usually happens during Lent. I am torn between being a good Christian and, well, enjoying myself! Spring Break is not like it was in junior high, where you listened to music and hung out with your friends. Instead of really thinking about what I should give up, or add, for Lent to make myself a better person, I’m thinking about what bathing suits I should pack! After all, it is my senior year, I gotta enjoy it! This is the one week during my last semester where I don’t have to worry about getting a job after graduation

So my Lenten promise is to have myself a great Spring Break, without going too over the top. I’m going to look back at my past spring breaks and try not to repeat the same mistakes. I’m going to take care of myself so that I look good in my bikini by working out and eating right, instead of crash dieting. I’m going have a bronze goddess glow and make sure my ex (who I’ve stalked and know for a fact will be spring breaking at the same place…with his new girl) wishes he never let me go. And just to make sure I give back during Lent too, I’ll bring back some amazing souvenirs! Woo hoo Spring Break 09!

Last night’s episode of Project Runway really made Lauren happy. Lauren is all about saving the environment, so Lauren was super excited when she found out the challenge was to use Green fabrics to create cocktail dresses. Lauren wants a Green cocktail dress!

Other things Lauren wants: the BlueFly accessories wall in her bedroom, a lunch date with Heidi Klum and for Suede to stop freaking speaking in third person.

But let’s get back to the show (and first person).

This week’s challenge was twofold. Not only would the designers be using eco friendly fabrics, but the models would be purchasing them. Oooooo. I am sure that threw a little wrench in everyone’s plans, but didn’t really become an issue for anyone except Stella. Not because the model came back with some hideous fabric, but because the model came back without leather.

Stella LOVES leather. She would make anything in leather! She would make pants in leather, hats in leather, dresses in leather. If only leather wasn’t the WORST THING FOR THE PLANET, Stella. I mean, seriously. Leather is not only a major fashion mistake (unless you are going to a Bon Jovi concert), it just totally goes against everything this challenge is about.

So, anyhoo….the designers start doing their thang with the stuff and some random shite goes down. Some people almost can’t finish their garments, some people are still making up words (enough with the ‘icious…seriously), some people think others are copying them and Tim Gunn thinks one designers dress has the potential to be a HOT MESS. Yes, he actually said that. He totes misses Christian! Read More »

This is not a new story, but CNN recently did a report on it and I feel the need to once again air my consternation over Purity Balls. Never heard of a Purity Ball? Well, it’s when fathers and daughters dress up and dance together and pledge to a giant cross that they will forever be linked when it comes to the daughters’ virginity.

If it sounds just a little creepy, that’s because it is. There’s nothing wrong with fathers taking an active role in their daughters lives, and I don’t even see anything wrong with fathers talking frankly to their daughters about sex and the consequences — but there’s just something inherently weird about a daughter pledging to her father that she will remain a virgin until marriage for him. Read More »

The Jonas Brothers (one of whom, let’s not kid ourselves, is going to turn out to be gay) are all over the airwaves these days. Disney is pimping these kids out hardcore; giving them their own band, TV movie, and so many endorsements I’m sure they’re already richer than I’ll ever be. Hell, I’m ten years too old for the Disney channel but still know waaayyy more about these nubile young boys (somebody needs to tell their stylist to LAY OFF the foundation. Geeze) than certain cousins in my immediate family.

Speaking of TMI, I already knew the J. Bros wore promise rings. Whether Disney put a (metaphoric) gun to their head, or they really all want to wait until marriage to get it on, I never thought much about the religious implications behind those rings. Yes, certain devout Christian peeps tend to hang onto their V-cards longer than a lot of us, but I never assumed the Jonas Bros were trying to impart any kind of religious message on the impressionable youth of this sugar-pop obsessed country.

I assumed wrong.

At least according to Fox News. Read More »

I would have NEVER ever known what a “MOCKtail” was had it not been for this seven day detox I’m currently on. In fact, I would have never known what it was like to come back to my bed after a night out downtown and still be sober and without a jar of peanut butter in my hand had it not been for this. I did a few things tonight that I haven’t done in since my Christian straight edge high school days and I can’t lie…I feel moderately good about myself.

1. I took the TRAIN home tonight. I can’t remember the last time I took the train home while it was dark. And this has nothing at all to do with safety. I’m just usually drunk when it’s dark and therefore, spending $20 on a cab makes a whole lotta sense. I took the train, I didn’t get lost, and I read my book and listened to Sleater-Kinney on my sober journey back to Astoria.

2. I went downtown and didn’t have a single sip of alcohol. I met up with a group of the writers here at CollegeCandy and I have to admit; the girls were supportive of my war with will power. Instead of binging on my usual wine spritzer (or whatever else a charming bartender graces my tongue with); I binged on fondue. Cheesy, delicious, non-alcoholic fondue. I ate just the right amount and when the thought of grabbing a slice of pizza occurred to me after I left the bar; I had the ability, for once, to think through the decision. Being sober, I could intelligently ascertain that I was, in fact, full, and didn’t need the calories or spent money under my belt. Read More »