For a lot of my life, I’ve been a religious person. I went on mission trips every summer with my church, I was on my church’s Youth Board, and I attended mass every Sunday (oh yeah, I’m Catholic). So when I got to college, one of the first things I did was to see what campus ministries were available. While other girls were rolling out of bed at 1:00 pm on Sundays and going for a hungover brunch, I was in the student cinema with about a hundred other students praising God.

Because I became so involved with my campus ministry, I met a lot of friends with my same beliefs and morals. While this shouldn’t be a problem in my life, it became one almost from the very beginning. Once people find out that I’m religious, they start to make a lot false assumptions about myself, as well as my friends.

Assumption #1: We are holier than thou

The first thing I always hear is that we are “holier than thou.”  I’ve learned through my experiences that a lot of other Christians have trouble going to church. They say that if they went, it would make them feel like they have to act holy all the time. So this makes it even difficult for me to really express everything I feel about God. I don’t want people pointing out examples of how I’m not leading the most holy life. And I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes it’s easier for me to pick one persona or another. Either the quiet, Christian girl who won’t talk about her problems or the troubled party-goer. A lot of people will argue that it’s not worth going to church because all the pews are filled with a bunch of hypocrites. Sure it’s a valid point, but they’re forgetting why we go to church in the first place.

We go to church because frankly, we aren’t good at being a holy people. We need God (because we aren’t perfect), so we seek Him in church. My friends and I are just like you and we won’t judge you because you might make different choices than us. I have never condemned people for their life choices, because that is one thing the Bible tells us to never do. What it does tell us to do is love everyone. As a Christian, I try to view people as God views them – with unconditional love.

Assumption #2: We don’t party

Another annoying assumption people make when they learn I’m religious and very active in my church is that I don’t party. Although the Bible tells me to not drink in excess (and I don’t drink 24/7), it doesn’t mean that I don’t drink and don’t go to parties. I would even be lying if I said I haven’t gone to church with a hangover. Some of us party, and some of us don’t, but don’t assume either way. Rather, find out by asking us. Every time friends from class ask me what I’m doing during the upcoming weekend and I say I’m going to a party thrown by a friend from church, they laugh. They picture us playing Scrabble and cuddled up under Snuggies. Not true.

Some of my most fun parties have been thrown by my church friends.  So yes I do go clubbing, I do go to parties. Just because I love God doesn’t mean I don’t also love to shout Gaga lyrics to the top of my lungs and dance like crazy while laughing and holding a Coors in my hand.

Assumption #3: We are all conservative

Finally, the assumption I face almost daily is people assuming that I’m conservative because of my Catholic beliefs. Not true.  The fact of the matter is I don’t discuss politics. What I will do, is listen to what you have to say, and if you want to talk about whether I agree with you or not, we can talk in person about it. Heck, I don’t even mind if we don’t really know each other and you want to hear my opinion about something. Even if you do sit down with me and talk to me about stuff like that, I’m nice to everyone. Like I said earlier, I was taught to love everyone, regardless of different beliefs. If you ask me how I feel, I’ll tell you, and there is no way you will ever change my mind about the topic, but I will say it calmly and don’t mind getting into friendly debates. I will never shut you down because you disagree with something I believe in. Because peace is essential to Christianity, and as a Christian I know that isn’t the way to change someone’s mind.

Why do I go to church?

So why do I go to church while in college? As silly as it sounds, it’s really relaxing to go to church on Sunday mornings and have an hour that is worry-free. For that hour classes, exams, etc. don’t matter. The only thing that matters is I am celebrating God. So it keeps me grounded and gives me a short break from all of my stress. Church is also a great place to meet friends and I-wanna-be-more-than-friends. Through my campus ministry I found friends with similar beliefs, passions, and lifestyles. We’ve been able to get really close because we’ve participated in lots of different activities with each other on a weekly basis. I met my boyfriend through my ministry, and we get along fantastically because we already agree on fundamental things. I go to church because unlike my friends who say college is for taking a break from religion, you can’t take a short “break” from religious life. You can’t just put it on hold until you’re “ready.” College is a time for growing, and learning. I take it upon myself to learn more about my faith on my own and stop depending on my parents for pushing me to do so. I go to church because I know I need it; I know I still have a lot of growing to do.

Everyone would have us believe (even some of the writers on this website) that college is a constant party and orgy, but that isn’t so. College is about finding yourself, and becoming more of who you always were (but didn’t realize it). As college students, we are all wanderers, forced out of our homes and into the real world. We wander until we discover what it is we want to do with our lives, and we succeed or we fail. We move forward, whether we know where we are headed or not. So while I am always wandering, I am never lost, because my religion helps guide my college experience.

In the world of journalism, that, my friends, is called a question lede. I’m supposed to spend the rest of this article trying to answer that question, but honestly I can’t make any promises. You see, that question has been in my mind for a while now, and I can’t seem to figure it out. Why do people care about someone’s “magic number,” and why is a person’s morality level judged by how many sexual partners they’ve had?

Historically speaking, it’s understandable why chastity and virginity were important. Without any kind of protection, getting pregnant or catching a disease was very much a reality. Virginity was maintained until marriage because no one wanted to catch a disease from their future spouse. Which is fair enough, really.

But those reasons are mainly invalid in modern times; we have condoms to save us from diseased genitals and unwanted fetuses. So long as sex is protected, it really shouldn’t matter how many people have been involved. Sex with multiple partners (not necessarily at the same time…) is often frowned upon as being immoral and looked at as being a “sin of the flesh” – but what is so immoral about it? No one is getting hurt and no one is being damaged. So long as the people involved are consenting and protected, there really is nothing immoral about it.

From a religious perspective, we’re told chastity is important because “every time you have sex with someone, you’re giving a little piece of yourself away. If you continue to have sex, once you get married, there won’t be any of you left.” Well, what Christians seem to overlook is that love causes one to lose way more of themselves than sex does. Every time you get your heart broken – every time you give your heart to someone – that person gets part of you, whether sex is involved or not.  And yet, the faithful don’t warn against falling in love. It’s not a sin to fall in love, only to have sex. But love is much more powerful and potentially harmful than sex. How does that make sense? Oh wait, it doesn’t! And besides, if someone didn’t want to marry you because they thought you slept with “too many” people, is that really the type of close-minded person you would want to spend the rest of your life with anyways?

Choosing not to have sex with multiple partners is a personal choice — and one that is as fair as choosing to sleep around. I’m only offering a different point a view. I’m not saying one should wrack up notches on a bedpost, but I’m also not saying that you shouldn’t. We should have a handle on our own moral compasses, not get them from old-school teachings that tell us that sex is immoral, sinful, dirty, and wrong. If you have so many notches that your bed is barely existent — you are no less moral than someone who has waited until marriage. Believe it or not, who we have sex with doesn’t make us who we are.

Everyone has a choice as to how many people they have sex with. But that choice shouldn’t be looked down upon because it’s immoral or wrong, because it is neither. Keep sex safe, keep it consensual, but don’t keep it up on the nonsensical pedestal where it’s been for centuries. Look at it this way — I guarantee that no one has been on his or her deathbed at 90 years old thinking, “Jeeze, I wish I had sex with fewer people.”

Last week, AOL’s Parent Dish blog posted an interview with Jon Gosselin in which the revolting reality star revealed that he’s flirting with Judaism. His current girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, is a Member of the Tribe herself, and she’s apparently turned him on to the wonders of Jewish holidays and munchies: “I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I’m learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar’s. I love that place. I’m learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself,” he said.

The interviewer then asked Jon if he can see himself converting, and he replied by saying that he’s already spoken to Rabbi Shmuley, star of TLC’s Shalom in the Home and Michael Jackson’s former BFF.

Jon’s only the latest in a long line of public figures who have made headlines by dabbling in Judaism—Britney Spears was spotted wearing a Star of David this summer, fueling rumors that she was switching religious teams to get closer to once and current boyfriend Jason Trawick. Lindsay Lohan reportedly announced on Facebook that she was converting for Samantha Ronson, although it’s unclear whether she went through with it since she and Sam split up last spring. And don’t forget about Madonna, whose uber-Christian name makes her devotion to Kabbalah insanely ironic.

I totally understand why stars would want to become Chosen People themselves. Our holidays are fun (we’ve got at least two that instruct those celebrating to get hammered), our food is incredible, and we’ve got pretty deep ties to the entertainment industry. Plus, I’m sure they think that doing anything that makes them more like Marilyn Monroe couldn’t hurt.

But here’s the thing: we Jews aren’t exactly excited about the prospect of welcoming idiot celebrities into our culture. Britney, Jewish girls get a bad enough reputation for being crazy—we don’t need you to make things worse. That goes double for Lindsay, who should also know that Jewish girls generally are sensible enough to wear a pair of pants once in awhile. And I think I speak for everyone I went to Hebrew School with when I say that I never, ever want to be in a position where I have anything in common with Jon Gosselin.

Okay, so Jon, Britney, and Lindsay wouldn’t exactly ruin the religion—especially since we’ve had bigger crises to deal with recently—but they wouldn’t be doing us any favors, either. Like any minority group, Jews love feeling a sense of pride when they see prominent fellow Jews succeeding. Likewise, we can’t help but feel disappointed when a Jew does something stupid. I think I’d be feeling a whole lot of disappointment if Jon Gosselin started regularly noshing on bagels and lighting candles on Friday nights.

Hailey Glassman, you’re breaking your mother’s heart. I hope you’re happy.

“I’m Catholic”
“I’m atheist”
“I’m Jewish”

Even if someone’s beliefs can’t be put under a specific religious category, everyone has their own opinion on how humans got here and how people should live their lives.  All of these different views come together to make a unique world, but religious differences have the potential to hurt or even end a relationship.

Because religious views generally have a great impact on a person’s lifestyle, differing views can cause conflict in relationships. An atheist may be incredibly uncomfortable if their significant other wanted to attend church every Sunday and prayed every day. Likewise, a person who is used to being involved in religious practices may feel like something is wrong with them if their boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want to come with them to Bible study or other religious gatherings.

And then there’s the family. And the potential future family.
It can really become a hot mess of opinions, beliefs and arguments.

While this may be overwhelming for some, there are ways to cope with religious differences and make a relationship last. Taking turns attending religious practices can give both members of the relationship a look into a new religious lifestyle. Each person could take time discussing with the other what their religious views mean to them and what they do or do not want to do because of them. Essentially, a couple needs to reach a compromise that makes them both feel comfortable.

But sometimes a compromise may not be reached, and as hard as it is, you might have to let go. A dear friend just ended her relationship with her boyfriend of three years. She identifies with Christianity while he identifies with Atheism. She really wanted him to attend church with her and her family, and he felt that doing so was just buying into what he called “the mentality of organized religion.”  Most of their discussions about their religious differences ended up in arguments, and celebrating any religious holidays together made them both feel weird. Since they could not reach an agreement on these subjects, they chose to separate. After three long years.

Most of us don’t really consider religion when we’re looking for a mate, but we should. It’s hard to think about family and marriage when you’re making out with the boy you like from Anthro, but it’s even harder to realize how different your beliefs are when you’ve invested years into a relationship. And, sure, it’s 100% possible to be with someone who doesn’t believe the same things as you, but you definitely want to find that out before it’s too late.

So my Lenten promise is to have myself a great Spring Break, without going too over the top. I’m going to look back at my past spring breaks and try not to repeat the same mistakes. I’m going to take care of myself so that I look good in my bikini by working out and eating right, instead of crash dieting. I’m going have a bronze goddess glow and make sure my ex (who I’ve stalked and know for a fact will be spring breaking at the same place…with his new girl) wishes he never let me go. And just to make sure I give back during Lent too, I’ll bring back some amazing souvenirs! Woo hoo Spring Break 09!

Other things Lauren wants: the BlueFly accessories wall in her bedroom, a lunch date with Heidi Klum and for Suede to stop freaking speaking in third person.

But let’s get back to the show (and first person).

This week’s challenge was twofold. Not only would the designers be using eco friendly fabrics, but the models would be purchasing them. Oooooo. I am sure that threw a little wrench in everyone’s plans, but didn’t really become an issue for anyone except Stella. Not because the model came back with some hideous fabric, but because the model came back without leather.

Stella LOVES leather. She would make anything in leather! She would make pants in leather, hats in leather, dresses in leather. If only leather wasn’t the WORST THING FOR THE PLANET, Stella. I mean, seriously. Leather is not only a major fashion mistake (unless you are going to a Bon Jovi concert), it just totally goes against everything this challenge is about.

So, anyhoo….the designers start doing their thang with the stuff and some random shite goes down. Some people almost can’t finish their garments, some people are still making up words (enough with the ‘icious…seriously), some people think others are copying them and Tim Gunn thinks one designers dress has the potential to be a HOT MESS. Yes, he actually said that. He totes misses Christian!

It is eventually time for the Runway, which is going to be judged by Natalie Portman! Love her. So cute. And her vegan shoe line is perfection! Ugh! I just want to hug her

STOP READING IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED YET! I hate nothing more than spoilers (except people who confuse their, there, and they’re), so I will not ruin the show for you if you were out late getting’ some bootay and haven’t had a chance to fire up the DVR yet!

The runway was exciting as usual. There are still way too many designers to really get into all the designs and comments, so Lauren is just going to summarize the judges’ reactions to the top three and bottom three here (Sorry, got back into that 3rd person stuff again):

Kenley: So chic, beautiful. Everyone loooooves it.

Wesley: Short/shiny/tight…trampy.

Stella: So great that you took a nice, flowy fabric and made it look all edgy/hard/80’s punk

Korto: The dress looks inside out and has butt fins.

Suede: Everyone loved it! The tutu was awesome! Suede is the maaaan.

Leanne: The dress looks like something from Arts and Crafts.

And, once again, I cannot believe who won. Yes, Suede’s dress was innovative, but I just can’t imagine popping onto BlueFly today and purchasing that mess. It had a freaking TUTU. When was the last time you got to wear a tutu to a party? Don’t remember? I do. It was my bat mitzvah. In 1995. I can’t wait to see how much they charge for that thing.

Oh and boring Wesley went home. I am sad cuz he seemed like a fabulous gay man, but his dress was bad news bears (and he was really boring), so no loss here.

Back next week for some more fun and, hopefully, some sort of challenge that involves animal byproducts for our good friend, Stella!

If it sounds just a little creepy, that’s because it is. There’s nothing wrong with fathers taking an active role in their daughters lives, and I don’t even see anything wrong with fathers talking frankly to their daughters about sex and the consequences — but there’s just something inherently weird about a daughter pledging to her father that she will remain a virgin until marriage for him.

“Kylie Miraldi has come from California to celebrate her 18th birthday tonight. She’ll be going to San Jose State on a volleyball scholarship next year. Her father, who looks a little like Superman, is on the dance floor with one of her sisters; he turns out to be Dean Miraldi, a former offensive lineman with the Philadelphia Eagles.

When Kylie was 13, her parents took her on a hike in Lake Tahoe, Calif. “We discussed what it means to be a teenager in today’s world,” she says. They gave her a charm for her bracelet–a lock in the shape of a heart. Her father has the key. “On my wedding day, he’ll give it to my husband,” she explains. “It’s a symbol of my father giving up the covering of my heart, protecting me, since it means my husband is now the protector. He becomes like the shield to my heart, to love me as I’m supposed to be loved.”

Okay, on one hand — how sweet, her dad is pledging to protect her until her husband takes up that role, but on the other hand — this girl, and girls engaging in Purity Balls with her, are basically telling themselves and the world that men are the determining factors in their lives. Daddy will “control” my virginity until my husband comes along and takes that “control”.

I’m not here to bash anyone’s religion, and even though Purity Balls are a Christian thing, it’s not the praying and the whole “I’m doing it for God” that rubs me the wrong way; it’s the complete lack of feminist thought. If girls were simply promising themselves to wait until marriage to lose their v-card, then why make their fathers part of the pact? Why not make a promise to their mothers that they’ll stay strong women together? I know that Conservative Christianity usually allows the man more power than the woman, but if these fathers really love their daughters the way they say they do, why not pledge to allow them to become their own woman on their own time?

The CNN article doesn’t really touch on the heavy-handed patriarchal thought process that goes into Purity Balls, but that’s the exact part of the ritual that frustrates me. People can believe what they want and pray to whom they choose and promise to stay virgins until the cows come home — but when women sign away control of their own bodies to the men in their lives, that’s when I want to call bullsh*t.

Speaking of TMI, I already knew the J. Bros wore promise rings. Whether Disney put a (metaphoric) gun to their head, or they really all want to wait until marriage to get it on, I never thought much about the religious implications behind those rings. Yes, certain devout Christian peeps tend to hang onto their V-cards longer than a lot of us, but I never assumed the Jonas Bros were trying to impart any kind of religious message on the impressionable youth of this sugar-pop obsessed country.

I assumed wrong.

At least according to Fox News.

The little video below — from everyone’s favorite Republican news station — illustrates a rather lackluster and idiotic debate between some lady I’ve never head of and some chick who was an MTV VJ when I was still in training pants. Their argument, whether the Jonas brothers are good for America or are going to give us figurative cavities — is stupid and subjective. The real interesting part are the titles underneath the boring people.

The first title, “Christian Controversy: Jonas Bros Openly Pro-Jesus”, and the second one a little later “Christian Teen Stars: Getting Bashed Unfairly?” are either grossly overblown or actually kind of newsworthy. Are the Jonas Brothers really openly Pro-Jesus? Are they truly promoting the Christian lifestyle? Are the kids of this Nation — many of whom aren’t Christian (I know, surprise, surprise!) being covertly fed conservative Christian ideals? Is Disney as a company promoting conservative Christianity??!

Or is Fox News just attempting to make it seem that way?

PS: the best part of this video is the fact that the music the Jonas Brothers pump out is called “punk rock“. Oh Fox News. Totally in touch with today’s youth.

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