[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

Hey Dude,

So I met this guy around Christmas time, and we really hit it off. We hung out a lot until we both had to go home for Christmas break. The momentum kind of died, and when we both got back into town, he started emailing me a lot. I asked him why he hadn’t tried to see me, and he gave the typical busy with school and work excuse. I wrote it off as him blowing me off, but the guy hasn’t stopped emailing and facebooking me! We talk all the time and I feel that we’ve gotten pretty close. Does he really just want to be my digital friend?

Sincerely,

The Cyber-girlfriend

Dear Cyber-girlfriend

No, he doesn’t just want to be your digital friend. Okay? Done? Enough? More? Fine! Look, they say that there aren’t any clear cut and dry situations, but yours smacks of chapped lips. Is he busy with school and work? Probably. Is he shy about getting together with you? Probably. Does he want to be more than just friends? Probably. Trust me, we don’t waste time with the cyber-foreplay unless we’d like to have a live f*cking session. Not to be too vulgar…

There are those of us who feel a little more confident with a bit of distance. It’s true. Online we can puff ourselves up without the possibility of really punking out. This guy’s stretching the limits, though. There’s no question that he’s using it as a crutch at this point and is indulging his fear of taking it to another level. Why would he be doing this?

Because when dealing with an 11th dimensional time matrix, it’s just timey-whimey spacey-wacey emotional psycho-babble crap. It’s got everything to do with him being a combination of busy and afraid his balls will burst if he gets in the same room with you. Good burst. Like taste the rainbow burst, not nuclear weapon explode. He doesn’t realize he’s the big bear with the huge claws and the teeth, but he’s not killing the bunny rabbit. He’s just batting it back and forth, because he doesn’t know how to kill the bunny! You’re dealing with PG-13 guy! The nice guy we all hope is really going to make it. He’s got to step up and be the Rated R guy. You know, the guy you’ve gotten close to, the guy that ABC’s it.

My advice is not to let him wimp out. He’s got the hots, and he’s got the means, and he’s got the power inside him, but he doesn’t know how to use it. Of course, that could be an indication that he’s scared he doesn’t know how to use something else…just saying…put up with it if you want, or tell the bear he’s acting like a little bunny and can hop away for all you give a damn.

Don’t. Do. Drugs. Become a pop star and they give you them for free!

The Dude

Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays! After an overly caffeinated week of library sleepovers and final exams, the perfect way to retreat and rejuvenate is by heading back to your hometown. You know, because of all the overachieving siblings, screaming cousins and the ongoing drama between too many members of your extended family to keep it all straight in your head.

Relax. Really, you deserve to, even if your household environment makes such a task especially difficult to execute during the holidays. In fact, bookmark this virtual manual to ensure that you survive your family over break. Trust me — over the next few weeks, it’ll shock you how slowly time can pass.

Read More »

[Everyone’s got a morning after story (though some are WAY worse than others) and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]

By now you’re almost half way through Winter Break. You’ve got the major holidays behind you- Christmas eve, Christmas day, New Year’s- and that means pretty much all scenarios involving getting drunk with your family have expired. How’d you do? Make it through with minimal blows to your self-respect, pride, and squeaky-clean image?

If you’re like me and live in a house of crazy, you hit the bottle. Hard. And so did your mother, father, nineteen year-old sister, great aunt, bizarre gay uncle, both grandparents, and that random cousin you think is hot (but he’s only like…a third cousin through a second marriage, so it’s okay).

I suppose this submission isn’t so much a “Morning After” as it is a “Week After,” because let me tell you, the occasions on which I embarrassed myself this holiday season were hardly contained to one evening. Sure I could pick one moment to elaborate on, like when my mother explained to her sisters that all the nice boys at school were so interested in me. Of course I had to open my mouth (full of wine-stained teeth) to correct her. The “nice boys” are only interested in one thing. And I just happen to do that one thing really, really well. Then, naturally, I thanked her for giving me so many popsicles as a kid because I sincerely believe that’s where I get my technique. Read More »

Being home for a month can do wonderful things for your sex life, let’s just put that out there right now.  So maybe you’re down in the dumps because that guy from school you were just starting to hit it off with (and might really, really like) is now hundreds of miles away.  Well, you know what they say about abstinence and the heart growing fonder.  Or wait, was that “absence”?  I suppose it doesn’t matter, because in your case, both are applicable with this dream dude until you get your tush back to campus.

But don’t think that because one door is closed for four weeks, another one can’t become gloriously open.  (I believe the adage that fits here is the one about not throwing the baby out with the bathwater.  What’s that?  No, I know you’re on the pill.  You’re missing the point.)  What you might be failing to see in your momentary don’t-make-me-go-home-yet sorrows is that there are bound to be at least a few eligible men to call once you’re back bunking with Mom and Dad.

If you think about it, Christmas break is basically the ideal scenario for a no strings attached hook-up fest.  Your high school boyfriend?  You know he’ll be game.  The hot guy who wouldn’t even look at you in your pre-hair straightener days?  It’s time to change his mind.  Your totally cute best guy friend?  Turn him into a friend with benefits.

So now that we’ve got it hammered into your head that the tough part won’t be finding someone to pass the time with, as it were, allow me to introduce to you the real challenge of the holiday season:

F*cking in your childhood bedroom.

Read More »

If he spends one more minute telling me to go to med school....

A special thanks to our nerdy yet totally helpful friends at Hack College for providing us with this insightful post. Check ‘em out for all your techy needs. They’re like the nerdy boyfriend you never had but always needed.

Students are gearing up to head home for Thanksgiving and winter breaks, and that means getting back into the swing of life with family–including explaining what you’re doing at school to your parents’ friends and your extended family. For some people (engineering majors and pre-med people), this is not so bad! For others, it can be a little stressful. Here’s how to handle some of the most common less-than-positive results.

“So you’re planning to go to law school?” or “A future teacher, I see!” – This one tends to be tossed at Political Science majors (and liberal arts majors in general) by people who see law school/teaching as a backup plan. This can be frustrating for people who actually do want to be lawyers or teachers, since it implies they’re following a predictable path, and for people who are interested in other things (for instance, being the next Nate Silver) it’s equally irritating. It’s best to pick your battles–if it’s someone you’re only going to see once, laugh and say, “Anything’s possible!” before finding some more eggnog.

For family members and people who will be interacting with you when you finish school, a little more explanation can be good. If you are, say yes and give a short summary of what kind of law you want to do or why you want to become a teacher. If not, something like, “Actually, no. But I am planning to try for the Peace Corps!” will usually do the trick. You want to make the point that there are other career paths than law school or teaching that you can follow. Don’t stress about one-off encounters too much, though–over the holidays it’s best to save your energies for people who you’ll be seeing again. Read More »

Peppermint Mochas are BACK!

I woke up full this morning, my stomach is hanging out over my pajama pants and I have 24 emails in my inbox advertising Black Friday deals at various online stores.

Yup, it’s officially Holiday Season!

While Halloween is my all-time favorite holiday of the year, there is something about the time from Thanksgiving to New Year’s that makes me blissfully happy. Sure, it could be the sheer amount of sugar that is pumping through my bloodstream right now (I ate pumpkin pie and brownies and cookies and apple crisp for dessert last night), but everything about this time of year makes me wanna run and dance and sing… and shop. Seriously, the people making those commercials should get a raise because they work on me every. single. time.

I know I’m not the only one out there who ate until they wanted to barf last night is head-over-heels in love with the holiday season, so this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their favorite things about this time of year.

What do you love most about the holidays (and yes, “getting presents” is a totally acceptable answer).

Ricki – University of Michigan: The holiday music.  It is impossible to get in my car without becoming cheerful.

Ness – Sheridan: My favorite thing about the holiday season is sleeping until (after) noon, and not feeling guilty for missing class. Ah, how I love you Christmas break.

Nina – Michigan State University: I actually really love buying presents for other people. I don’t care that I’m spending inordinate amounts of money when it comes to people I love!

Teresa – UCSD: Hearing cheesy holiday music at the mall. It never gets old!

Kendra  – University of Pittsburgh: My favorite thing about the holiday season is having marathon movie binges with my older sister. There’s nothing better than being rooted to the couch and watching Disney classics, several seasons of Weeds, and every Zac Efron movie ever made while my parents bustle around getting the house ready for guests.

Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: My favorite thing about the holidays is listening to Bing Crosby’s “A White Christmas” without people thinking I’m crazy.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: My favorite thing is the amazing desserts that come out around this time. Eggnog milkshake? Peppermint brownies? Yes please! Read More »

I can’t believe Christmas has already passed. Is this year flying by or what? New Year’s is less than a week away, which means it’s only two weeks until I’m breaking my resolutions.

So, are you happy that winter’s finally arrived, or have you added a “Days to Summer” countdown to your Myspace profile? To determine whether the glass of egg nog is half empty or half full, let’s weigh the pros and cons of winter!

Pro: We get a month off from trekking around campus just when the temperature hits below zero.

Con: The “spring” semester starts in January. Brr!

Pro: Whatever holiday you celebrate, you’re bound to get some free stuff over break.

Con: You’re bound to get some free stuff you don’t want for the holidays, especially from your Grandma, who means well, but hasn’t been in style since the Great Depression.

Pro: Homemade treats, including (but not limited to) pumpkin pie, fudge, Christmas cookies, popcorn balls, and anything with chocolate in it.

Con: The calories that come with those treats.

Pro: You can get away with layering baggy clothes after indulging in the above treats.

Con: Spring break (and bathing suit season) is still just around the corner. Read More »

Our parents are always talking about their political activism in the 60′s: the sit-ins, the rallies, the demonstrations. Our generation, according to them, is just lazy and not willing to stand up and fight for what we believe in.

Well take that, parents! Some members of our generation are doing just that!

Students at The New School in Manhattan are fed up with the inefficient leadership at the university and decided to take matters into their own hands – by barricading themselves in the school’s cafeteria. The group settled in last night at 8pm and blocked the door with recycling bins, tables and signs.

What do they want? According to the New York Times:

As word of the protest spread and the group grew larger, a list of demands was produced. Those included [Bob] Kerrey’s removal as well as the ouster of James Murtha, the university’s executive vice president, and Robert Millard, the treasurer of the school’s board of trustees. The students said they wanted more of a voice in school matters and full disclosure of the school’s investments.

The students don’t plan on leaving anytime soon, so we will see how things pan out. Especially considering Christmas break is coming and most of these people – no matter how politically motivated – will probably want to head home at some point. Until then, let’s all take notice of what they are doing and be inspired to stand up for causes we believe in.

Days as a Freshman: 174

Mood: Weirded out

“I’ve been wanting to tell you everything for a while, Grace.” Justin leaned against the sink and ran his hands through his hair a few times, trying to keep his eyes on my face but only succeeding in keeping his gaze there for a few seconds before staring at the floor.

“Well, now’s your chance.” I shifted the best I could on the edge of the bathtub. The bathroom was definitely a product of a house full of boys, and everything about it made me wary of touching anything for too long.

“I’ve known…or…things changed right before Christmas break, I guess.” Justin kept his hand on the doorknob, holding it shut even though he had already locked it. “Sasha and I, we were always buddies. We got along the best in the house, you know? So when everyone started saying all that shit about him…I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t believe it.”

I heard him inhale, and then let it out slowly. Our eyes met, and his were wide with something. Regret maybe. Something heavy.

“But then one night we…we had a few beers and Sasha started talking. He got drunk and started talking about that night…” Read More »