Our friends over at TMZ got ahold of the Lohan family Christmas card (see it here) and despite LiLo’s unnaturally blonde hair, everything looks pretty normal. Too normal, in fact. Where is the drama? The framed restraining orders? The sleeveless mesh shirt?

Where is Michael Lohan?

Turns out he couldn’t make it to the family photo shoot because he was busy attending his court-ordered vacation at a rehab center in Florida. While I’d love to say that he’s a calm and rational man, capable of understanding why he was left out of the family card, I can’t.

So here are a few predictions on how I think he’ll react:

initiating the gallery...

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“I got straight A’s this semester. Well, and I gotta pee.”

“What?”

“I gotta pee. You gotta pee too.”

“All I want for Christmas is a boy on top of me.”

“Grandma, you need to know this stuff! Otherwise you’ll get roofied!”

“Well, it sounds exciting! I’d rather get roofied than… I don’t know, doofied.”

“This is a cute naked girl. She looks like you.”

“Yeah, Mom, isn’t it a nice Christmas card?”

“Didn’t your friends send you naked girls for your birthday, too?”

“… Yeah.”

“Honey, are you bisexual?”

“Mom!”

“How about that sultry duet with the dark-voiced date rapist trying to convince his sloshed female companion to stay in because it’s cold outside?”

“You mean ‘Let It Snow’?” Read More »