Nothing says holiday spirit like talking about Lady GaGa’s “Christmas tree,” which, FYI, is delicious.

Leave it to Lady to take the phrase “Ho, ho, ho” literally. I’ve never heard so many Christmas-themed sexual innuendos in one place as I have in her new holiday song featuring Space Cowboy. In fact, I didn’t even realize so many existed. I’ll never be able to look at a Christmas Tree the same again. Not that I’m surprised; I’m just impressed GaGa beat Britney and Lil Jon to it.

Thanks to this new jam, I’ll never be able to kiss under the misteltoe again without picturing Lady Gaga stripping off her unitard and showing off her tree in honor of the birth of the baby Jesus. Oh, the thought alone just gives me the shivers.

(Note: I realize there is nothing to see in this video. And you should be glad. After the hot mess that was Bad Romance, lord only knows what The Gags would do for this one…)

Every year I find myself entering December with the same longing in the pit of my stomach. I see couples holding hands and sharing hot chocolate. All the stores are decked out in twinkling lights and ornaments. Every car that passes has a Christmas tree strapped to the top. And while I want to be home with friends and family, drinking fun holiday drinks and decorating the Christmas tree, I’m stuck in my 4 by 4 cell studying crap I could really care less about.

And with my luck, I always end up with a final on the very last possible day, which has me rushing home on the 23rd and trying to cram all of my holiday activities into 48 hours.

It just isn’t right.

But just because I’m holed up in my dorm studying during the most wonderful time of the year, it doesn’t mean that I (or anyone suffering like me) can’t enjoy a little holiday cheer. Since most of us won’t be seeing much of the world outside of the library over the next few weeks, here are some ways to bring the holidays to us:

Decorate.
Yes you live in a tiny box and chances are your school has 8 million rules about what you can’t bring in to the dorms. But there are still ways to deck out your room for the holidays. The best $15 I have ever spent was on a mini Christmas tree from WalMart. You can also get them at Target and Borders. They come in a variety of colors (of course I bought it in hot pink) and come with the most adorable mini ornaments and tinsel to decorate. If a tree isn’t a thing, why not relive your glory (read: kindergarten) days and make a snowflake chain? It’s super cute and festive, and a fun way to take a break from the studying and recharge that noggin. Read More »

Winter is one of my favorite seasons.  Even though I live in snowless California, I still love cozying up at home during the cold winter months.  The only downside to the winter wonderland lifestyle is the negative eco-side effects that are often associated with high thermostat levels and twinkle lights.  Here are a few ways to cut your carbon footprint while still enjoying your favorite wintertime traditions.

Ditch the wood-burning fireplace: Everybody loves to cozy up next to their beau in front of a cozy fire.  Unfortunately, burning all of that wood can end up leaving quite the carbon footprint.  But don’t worry, you don’t have to give up your fantasy of the perfect winter fire; just be sure that you’re using a natural gas fireplace.  According to the Sierra Club, burning natural gas instead of wood will reduce your carbon footprint and pollution contribution.

Cozy up in Patagonia: Patagonia is one of the best names out there when it comes to winter wear.  Not only do they make high quality stuff, but they make it with environmentally responsible materials such as recycled soda bottles and organic cotton.  Right now I am loving the Women’s R1Pullover.  It makes me wish I was freezing my a** off just so that I could curl up in one. Read More »

Ugh. I'd much rather be catching up on Glee than doin' this ish.

Thanksgiving. Sigh.

After being more stuffed than the holiday turkey, it’s time to come to terms with the fact that the holiday season has begun. Whether you celebrate Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or none of the above, it’s a given that you will be inundated with all kinds of holiday-ness over the next 6 weeks.

Whether you love it or hate it, every aspect of the holidays comes with some pros and cons. Yes, even getting lots and lots of presents. Have you ever had to do the fake “OMG I LOVE IT?!” upon opening the most awful gift ever followed by months of excuses when grandma doesn’t see you wearing those giant, sparkly cross earrings she got you? It sucks.

So, this week I’m gonna break down the ten best/worst things about the holidays. Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Season

10. Christmas music
Jingle Bell Rock? Loathe it. “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” by FOB? Love it.

9. Cookies
And Candy. And Gingerbread houses. And fruit cake (ew!). So many calories – yuck. However, like my mom says, calories don’t count on Xmas! Work it off before Spring Break and you’re in the clear.

8. Shopping
Shopping can be a bitch, especially if you hate mass crowds and fighting for a coveted Burberry coat. Skirt the crowds and the lines and shop online. Read More »

So you’ve managed to evade being trampled to death while gift shopping so far, and you’re only massively in debt, as opposed to hopelessly. The radio plays ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’ and while you aren’t quite sick of it yet, you’re the equivalent of being mildly nauseous. So how do you make it to December 26th without losing your mind?

1) Stay away from shopping centers – Unless you specifically wish to be run down in the parking lot of your local Target or mall, stay away from every shopping location with more than 50 parking spaces until at least the third week of January. Why? Pre-Christmas Sales, Last Minute Shopping Runs, Post-Christmas Sales, and It’s-January-There’s-No-Reason-For-Sales Sales. You have better chances of surviving a brisk swim through Bull shark infested waters than making it from your car (parked in the next zip code) to the very first pair of sliding glass doors of some venerable shopping institution.

If by chance you do make it into the store, the crush of people going in every possible direction is certain to disorient you, resulting in an unintentional detour to the Hardware section when you really just wanted to pick up a card.

2) Don’t OD on Christmas music – With the commercials looping constantly, a certain famous Mariah Carey song on thirteen stations at a time, and your little sister playing her Disney Christmas CD around the clock at a level just loud enough to be audible in your room, but not loud enough to get her in trouble, you are bound to go crazy. Decompress from the assault of seasonal media by either moving to Northern Greenland, or simply playing normal CDs instead of listening to the radio. Leave the room temporarily when that irritating holiday car dealership commercial comes on, or if driven to extremes, pitch the television out of your living room window. Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“Holy s***! What’s he doing?”

“He’s just playing video games.”

“He looks like he’s having a seizure! He looks possessed! I’ll never understand boys. They’re all like that. Possessed.”

A girl spills most of a box of cereal on her shirt:

“Oh god – I’m such a sand rat today!”

“Shakespeare? You know, he’s not bad. He’s had his moment in the sun. I think he needs to have his moment in the butt.”

A boy walks by a girl with a shaved head, then stops and does a double-take.

Boy: “Good evening, mister.“

Girl: (no reply)

Boy, after a beat: “I mean, what I’m saying is, you look like a boy.“

Girl: (no reply, walks away)

Boy: “God! Whatever!” Read More »

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

People who shout the name of movies as the previews roll: Obviously, people who talk during movies are a**holes. That’s why the cute food from the concession stand urges you not to! And previously to my last cinematic experience, I could care less about the people who talked during previews (I mean, most of the time I’m not even there yet so I can’t hate.) Then I sat behind a guy who was of the mindset that I had entered his private theater, and was in for a treat as he displayed his psychic/ trivia powers. As soon as the trailer had been running for 5 seconds, he would confidently (and really effing loudly) shout the title of the movie being advertised. Seriously?! The only thing worse than this habit was the beaming look he kept giving his wife, who reluctantly high fived him when he got one right. This is why I have Netflix…

Lack of the Yuletide spirit. Maybe it’s just because I live in Florida and the closest thing we’ve got to snow is the shaved ice on the rims of tropical drinks, but I still don’t feel like Christmas is in less than 4 days (despite department stores putting up their decor the day after Halloween). I mean, there’s a lack of lights on houses, the malls are still empty, even my Christmas tree doesn’t have that magical scent. I guess the economic blues have replaced the seasonal mirth this year. I’m not demanding carolers or anything (although a good rendition of “O Holy Night” hits the spot every time), but please, if there really is a Santa Clause (or a Hannukah Harry) send me a little seasonal joy. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 102

Mood: Stunned

“So, your Thanksgiving break was okay?” I did my best to keep in step with Rebecca, trying to match her quick, clipped pace. We had driven off campus for a little early holiday shopping, hitting the mall in the afternoon in hopes of short lines and empty stores.

“It was fine.” Rebecca kept walking like she was in some kind of Olympic trial, looking straight ahead, focused on the large department store in front of us. “I want to look in here. For my brother. He needs some shirts.”

I was aware the Rebecca’s brother was in Iraq, and aware that it had been a strained Thanksgiving without him, but beside a few single-syllable answers about the whole event, Rebecca had been uncharacteristically tight lipped about her break.

“Is he doing okay? Your brother…?” We stepped into the harsh florescent of the department store and kept speed walking towards the men’s section.

“He was the last time I talked to him. Which was for five minutes before my dad grabbed the phone and my mom started crying.” Her long hair hid her expression, but the tone of her voice said it all; Rebecca and her family had issues. Read More »

It’s back!

After trying a few months of looking at the positives in life, I decided to put a halt to my weekly rant “Is That Really Necessary”. There is already so much negativity out there that I figured I didn’t need to bring anymore attention to it all. But I couldn’t help but get irked over this… and I am sure many of you are feeling the same.

Is it just me or should it be December 25th right now? Don’t get me wrong. I love Christmas. I don’t even celebrate the holiday but I find myself more excited over Christmas specials, Christmas decorations, Christmas drinks at Starbucks, and sitting on Santa’s lap (creepy?) than my Christmas celebrating counterparts.

But people, (and by people, I mainly mean people of the radio and retail worlds) Christmas music already?! What is that about? How many weeks of “All I Want for Christmas Is You” can one person endure? Stores have been carrying Christmas goods and decorating their window shops with candy canes and reindeers. Shopping bags and coffee cups have made the ‘holiday switch’. The cute little gingerbread men are being slaughtered- families torn apart in larger numbers because they are already on bakery shelves! I know its ‘tis the season to be jolly’… except one major factor: TIS NOT THE SEASON YET! Read More »