Everyone knows Gossip Girl is not real. Unlike “The Hills” and “The City,” who try to play themselves off as reality, Gossip Girl is simply a scripted indulgence with a little over-the-top drama peppered in…every 5 seconds. Still, though, sometimes I’d like to think that this show, my guiltiest of guilty pleasures, maintains some semblance of what life is really like on the Upper East Side of New York City. That there really are people up there like Blair, Chuck and Damien. (OK, I think we all know there are people out there like Damien…there are a few of them living on my block.)
But last night’s episode made that nearly impossible. It was chock (Chuck?) full of obvious inconsistencies that took me back to the days of Saved By The Bell – The College Years, when I thought everyone was BFF with their RA (who looked like a wrestler) and could share a mega sweet with their friends from home. Let’s take a look: Read More »
"I'm sorry I tried to ruin your life to get onto Page 6"
After a two-week hiatus (WTF, CW?) Gossip Girl returned last night. I don’t know if I can handle any more breaks, but OMG, was it worth the wait! As the weather changes outside, so are our friends from the Upper East Side.
First, let me start by saying how happy I was to see Cyrus again! That little bald nugget of a stepdad is one of those gems (like Dorota) that make Gossip Girl sparkle. Especially since Dorota was off falling in love and Vanessa was MIA, too! She finally gets a good storyline, AND a backbone, and suddenly she’s nowhere to be seen. Was that delicious plotline with her and Chuck just a tease? WAS IT?
And with Rufus deciding to close down the art gallery, where is she gonna brew her coffee? What on earth is going to happen to V?
Also, can I just say that I am secretly really happy that the economy is affecting GG, though a bit peeved that it was the Humphrey’s that got crapped on. I’m pretty sure there are plenty of wealthy people out there who were hit hard in this recession, so why is it the “poor” Brooklyn family that gets it? And, being that they are in a bit of financial ruin, why would Rufus care about Dan getting a job? And why doesn’t my dad feel that way? But secretly Dan did get a job, and how cute did he look in that uniform? Presh. Read More »
I confess… I’ve missed the past couple weeks’ worth of new GG episodes. First of all, I’ve been crazy busy and can’t even keep my days straight. Second, GG comes and goes so sporadically with new episodes that I wasn’t even aware I’d have to set my TiVo. Out of all of the nights to get reunited with Serena, Blair, Chuck, and Nate, I have to say, I picked a rather juvenile occasion.
To me, a lot of characters regressed in this ep. I’m not shunning last night’s 43 minutes of soapy rich-kid-ness, just making an observation. When we first met Serena, she was a former party-girl elitist who was trying to make a fresh, less-shallow start. Yet, last night, S was all about being the “cool kid” once again, no matter the cost of Jenny’s feelings. She plans a Sweet Sixteen bash for Little J, and then is obviously hurt when celebutante Poppy smirks at her social calendar. Haven’t you grown beyond that, Serena?
Jenny, after dabbling in the high-class fashion biz for a few eps, wants a low-key, family-only party (complete with Rufus’ famous homemade chili), and Serena concedes. Until the lame-o cliquesters announce that they had their own party planned all along. So, unbeknownst to birthday girl Jenny, Serena decides to reinstate the bash she’d originally planned. How second-season Blair of you, Serena. Read More »
Nina Hartley is an extremely successful adult film star with 650 different video appearances under her belt. I asked her to give me some of her wise wisdom about sex, relationships, and everything in between.
If there’s one thing I learned from Gossip Girl last night, it’s that you can have sex with whomever you want, and the person you actually have feelings for (but aren’t banging, for some reason) will completely understand, and forgive you, and maybe even like you more.
If there’s one thing I already knew, it’s that when you’re the poor, unpopular kid on the Upper East Side, your life will be a continuous cycle of being walked over, speaking your mind, putting your foot in your mouth, and then being magically forgiven and allowed to advance to the next round.
Did you miss last night’s episode? Let me fill you in.
Within the first minute of GG, Nate mentions the inevitable party that will tangle everyone up in some drama that will continue to be played out next week.
Other expected GG staples: Catherine and Nate talk money; Serena and Dan are together but have issues (did I miss them deciding to be a “secret” couple?); and Jenny has some great ideas for her fashion internship, but she’s a lowly intern and isn’t allowed to have opinions.
The best thing about the first half? The mini gossip girls who approach Dan and throw in their two cents. If you missed it, two tweeny-bopping brunettes are on Dan’s side, and one tweeny-bopping blond is on team S. The blond asks Serena how she can kiss Dan, knowing his tongue has been in Georgina’s mouth, which seems a bit much when you consider the girs were, what, 11? The tweensters were obviously comic relief, but for some reason their opinions caused an awkward rift between S and Lonely Boy…which I was over by the next commercial. Read More »
So, we’re two seconds into the highly-anticipated season premiere of Gossip Girl, and already the hormones are flying! Cue gratuitous shot of Chace Crawford, panting and frisking some girl in the front seat of a car.
Mmmmm.
But this is GG, people. Chace Crawford sexcapades can hardly satisfy our thirst for smut clothed in Prada. Cut to Chuck, chardonnay in hand, on a beach with one…two…three insanely hot girls. Oh, Chuck Bass. You are what every sixteen-year-old boy should aspire to be before graduating high school.
First shocker of the episode: GG informs us that “Lonely Boy” Dan isn’t so lonely after all. It seems he has a new chick — wait, maybe two new girls? Can you spell R-E-B-O-U-N-D?
Of course, before our first commercial break, we need a love triangle, and some legit dramz. Send Chuck to meet Blair, looking sweet and dapper with roses in hand. Insert random new man (James), let Blair make steamy eye contact with Chuck and then shove her tongue down new guy’s throat. This is how it goes down for high schoolers in the Hamptons.
It’s game, set, match for Blair when she enjoys dinner with both James and Chuck, yet she still feels the need to run after Chuck when he storms away from the table with his tail between his legs. WTF Blair? We know you don’t feel the same way for James as you did for Nate. Otherwise you wouldn’t be chasing Chuck. Alas, poor Chuck, who used to be made of steel, turns on the waterworks again, just in time for another gratuitous Chace Crawford shot — hottie Nate running down the street in his underwear after his new lover’s husband comes home early from work. Read More »
This weekend is the only thing that stands between me and Chace Crawford.
Of course, I’m talking about the season premiere of Gossip Girl, which airs Monday, September 1 at 8:00 on the CW Network.
Since my life pretty much sucks– I’m not currently sleeping with anyone, I’m spending my “new clothes” money on speeding tickets, and I can barely afford my daily latte, let alone an extra-dry martini or a burlesque business venture–I’m looking forward on living vicariously through Dan, Jenny, Serena, Blair, Chuck, and, oh yes- Nate.
When GG left us at the beginning of the summer (which feels like eons ago), Serena’s brother, Eric, had just come out of the closet; Georgina had stopped into town just long enough to break up Serena and Dan; Chuck briefly scraped together an ounce of morale, only to eye-f*ck Amelia, Lily’s new interior designer; Blair hopped a plane with some random dude; and it seems that Serena and Nate and Dan and Vanessa were left to hang out for the summer. Read More »
It’s indisputable: “Riverbottom Nightmare Band” is not only the greatest Christmas song of all time, but the greatest song of all time, period.
I’m not even joking: check the heavy as f*** main riff, 70’s glam-rock moves and of course, the most bad-a** lyrics and melodies ever penned by puppets. This makes stoner-rock groups like Black Sabbath and Deep Purple sound like Smash Mouth by comparison.
So what if the lyrics don’t deal directly with Christmas. Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas, the movie the song is featured in, is a holiday movie; it’s festive by default. And it totally destroys Emmet’s entry into the talent show, the lame-o “In Our World/Brothers.”
Check out the mind-blowing lyrics after the jump!Read More »
Ah, November. The banging pipes above my head at 4 AM signify that it is indeed fall, no matter how warm it was a few weeks ago.
Now that we’re safely into our fall school schedules, fall sweaters, and fall sleeping patterns (staying up too late doing work, waking up too early to go to class), I think its high time to share a few of my favorite televised reasons to push away that term paper.
In no particular order of awesomeness:
• Chuck – Monday nights at 8/7 central, NBC – It’s very rare that a TV show makes me laugh out loud on purpose (I mean…Caveman? That just hilariously awful), but every week that I tune in, Chuck manages to make me chuckle.
The Mild-Mannered-Geek-Turned-Superspy plot allows for lots of explosions and cool fights, but it’s the interpersonal relationships between Chuck and the people around him that make this series truly pop.
Whether he’s stumbling awkwardly around his hot co-spy Sarah, dodging his sister’s (and lovably odd boyfriend’s) questions, or dealing with fellow nerd Morgan, Chuck’s life is never boring—so neither is the show.
Joshua Gomez stands out as the entertainingly awkward Morgan, and Adam Baldwin wins points for making his tough as nails spy John Casey funny when it counts most. As chuck’s sister, Sarah Lancaster is stable and adorable, while Yvonne Starhovski plays hot-spy-masquerading-as-a-wiener-girl Sarah with poise and just enough charm to be likable.
While everyone in the cast carries their own comedic weight, Zachary Levi is definitely a primo reason to watch Chuck in the first place. Read More »
I confess… I’ve missed the past couple weeks’ worth of new GG episodes. First of all, I’ve been crazy busy and can’t even keep my days straight. Second, GG comes and goes so sporadically with new episodes that I wasn’t even aware I’d have to set my TiVo. Out of all of the nights to get reunited with Serena, Blair, Chuck, and Nate, I have to say, I picked a rather juvenile occasion.
If there’s one thing I learned from Gossip Girl last night, it’s that you can have sex with whomever you want, and the person you actually have feelings for (but aren’t banging, for some reason) will completely understand, and forgive you, and maybe even like you more.
So, we’re two seconds into the highly-anticipated season premiere of Gossip Girl, and already the hormones are flying! Cue gratuitous shot of Chace Crawford, panting and frisking some girl in the front seat of a car.
Ah, November. The banging pipes above my head at 4 AM signify that it is indeed fall, no matter how warm it was a few weeks ago.
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