There’s an old joke/myth/we-hope-it’s-a-myth that a woman learns everything about a guy within 5 minutes of meeting him to decide whether or not she’ll f*ck him. Well, guess what, ladies? We can learn a lot about you in 5 minutes, too! Whatever you think you’re revealing, there just might be a few things you’re putting out that you may not even be aware of. But we’re aware of it. Here’re 11 things we notice within 5 minutes of meeting you:

initiating the gallery...

5 minutes can tell you everything you’ll need to know about a person…regarding whether you can stand to spend another 5 minutes with them. But beyond the obvious physical traits, there’s a lot to be discerned, deciphered and delved into. Every guy has things he automatically looks to identify when he first meets someone. And every guy’s tendencies are different. What I’ve given you is a playful taste. Don’t be surprised if you see a Part II of this Dude’s List somewhere down the line. But now I want to hear you turn the tables. What can you tell about us in the first 5 minutes?

Tick, tick, tick,

The Dude

I’m the Dude with a blue box called the Tardis that allows me to explore the ends of time and space-wait that’s another guy with a ‘D’ sounding name isn’t it? Better than that, I’m a Dude that knows the inner workings of Dudes and I’m ready to spill all, whether you’re ready or not. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com.

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Freshman in a dining hall.)

Freshman: College is so cool! It’s, like, the most sophisticated universe in the universe.

(Angry girl, heard through a dorm-room door.)

Girl: F***in’ a! What am I supposed to do? Dogs ate my underwear!

(Two girls, in the business school.)

Girl 1: I love Humphrey Bogart

Girl 2: Yeah, me too. Did you know he got his start in ’80s science fiction B-movies?

Girl 1: Wow, really?

Girl 2: No.

(Girl and guy in an office.)

Girl: Okay, what’s a nice way to welcome the freshman to campus?

Guy: How about “f*** you freshmen, get hit by a bus?”

(Two girls, talking in an Italian restaurant.)

Girl 1: Put out a job offer.

Girl 2: “Can you drink wine? Can you stare at my cleavage? You’re hired! Let’s talk about 401k.”

(Girl, standing in line at the student union.)

Girl: They were cutting a giant sausage at the women’s center today. I didn’t feel right eating it.

(Two guys, finding seats in an auditorium.)

Guy 1: Are we just gonna use our jackets to reserve these seats?

Guy 2: I guess so. We can’t rely on Meghan to mark them with her urine.

(Girls, introducing themselves in class.)

Girl 1: I’m Brenna.

Girl 2: Hi! I’m Margaret, but you can call me Murphy.

Girl 1: Huh. How’d you get that nickname?

Girl 2: When I was born, my dad said it was Murphy’s Law.

(Two guys, through an apartment wall.)

Guy 1: Ahhh! Ahh! Holy f***ing s***!

Guy 2: What?

Guy 1: I just exploded a bag of lettuce!

(Girl, reading an ad on a bulletin board.)

Girl: Female roommate needed… Must be clean, some parties okay… Must be comfortable with taxidermy. Huh.

The vast majority of us can’t stand our strapless bras–and that needs to change.

So, being the do-gooder that I am, I decided to go on a hunt for the best strapless bras around and bring them all to you. Trust me, I know all about the woes of the strapless, so I was very discriminating on my search.

These strapless boulder-holders are the best out there; they may even clear things up for our dear friend Katie.

Stays Put– No Matter What:
The number one strapless issue is definitely their inability to stay where they’re freakin’ supposed to. We all dread wriggling around trying to find a discreet way to hike up our slowly slipping bras (and most of us have concluded there is no discreet way to do so). These bras will make sure you never have to do the embarrassing wiggle dance while talking to a cute guy ever again.

Wacoal “Halo Lace”

Pretty, lacy and heavy duty underwire? Check, check and check.  A strip of silicone beading all the way around the bra (not just on the back straps) will make sure that no matter how hard you bump, grind or hail a cab, you won’t have to re-adjust.

Frederick’s of Hollywood No Slip Strapless

It’s sleek and simple, and with silicone lined straps and extra adhesive in the cups, Frederick’s promises you it won’t budge.

Invisible:
So that beautiful purple blouse hanging in your closet has been calling your name since you bought it for, like, 30% off. The only problem? You figured out why it was so discounted when you tried it on with your go-to strapless—and saw tacky lines running across the middle of your chest. These bras swear that those lines will disappear, no matter how clingy the material of your top.

Fashion Forms “Infinity”

This backless, strapless, self-adhesive comes in cup sizes A-D, and is available in nude or black. I usually wouldn’t even bother with a sticky bra until I read what makes this particular pick so incredible: the cups are molded foam. And they’re underwire. Goodbye chicken cutlets and tape-bras!

Barely There “Invisible Look”

It’s totally smooth: no visible seams or boning, and the straps are lined with silicone to prevent slippage. To make sure it all but disappears under clothes, it’s lined with soft, sueded fabric. The best part? It’s only $13.

Actually Cute:
Sometimes a slinky, sexy top is so effing cute you just have to buy it. Other times, there’s a reason why you’re showing all that skin (and it might just be called “Josh” or “Brandon”). But what use is all of that skimpy seduction if you actually take him home later and he removes said sexy outfit to find…your nude, super-duper supportive, entirely un-sexy strapless? You can bet he’ll regret his smooth line about “that outfit looking better on his floor.” Well fear not, these bras are here to save the day.

Odille “Angel”

I love how frilly and innocent this strapless is! I feel like this is the bra Cinderella is wearing underneath all that sparkly blue tulle, and, let’s face it, Cinderella had some pretty decent cleavage. Delicate lace and a white satin bow definitely let this angelic bra live up to its name.

Betsey Johnson Molded Strapless

For those nights when you’re feeling less than angelic? Betsey’s got your back (er, um, boobs). I swear by Betsey Johnson bras and alternate the two I have so I pretty much wear them every.single.day. She mixes soft materials with crazy, playful prints and still pays attention to how the bra will make you look (in a word: smokin’!)

Best cleavage creator:
Why oh why does it seem that “push-up” and “strapless” are mortal enemies? Why have the lingerie gods not found a way for us to defy gravity without shoulder straps? The tops and dresses I wear a strapless with are usually those that I want to show the most cleavage in, so why do I always feel so let down (literally) when my strapless fails to give me a boost? Because I don’t have this bra (yet. Give me 3-7 business days for shipping.)

Victoria’s Secret Plunge with Gel Curve

As usual, Victoria’s Secret has done the seemingly impossible: they’ve out-cleavaged themselves. This satin smooth push up bra has extra oomph in the form of silicone pouches you can add or remove (super cleavage and super-duper-traffic-stopping cleavage).

Frederick’s of Hollywood Exxtreme Strapless

They may have left out that third-x but this bra is definitely for adult entertainment. It comes in sizes 32A-38D and promises “incredible cleavage no matter what you wear.”

Best for big busts:
Nothing is more frustrating than being a 20-something  girl stuffed into a 70-something woman’s bra, and if you’ve got tig o’l bitties, the vast majority of lingerie out there is of the grandma variety. Multiply that frustration by 6,000 and you’ve got strapless bra shopping for DD + cup sizes. Not anymore…

Fantasie Smoothing Strapless

This sleek and seamless bra is invisible under clothing and bonus: no more dreaded quadro-boob! The edge of the bra blends seamlessly into skin, instead of cutting across it. That’s right, even those of us of the big boobed persuasion can have a cute strapless bra.

Lilyette “Minimizer” Tailored Strapless

If you’re going for a more demure look, this minimizer will suck you in and lift you up. So you won’t be falling out of the top of your dress, the bra has an elastic band around the top. And so you won’t look like you’re stuffed into a sports bra, the molded cups are sculpted for just enough cleavage. Perfection.

Best  All-around:
This bra takes the best qualities of all the aforementioned bras and combines them into strapless flawlessness. It will stay put, push you up, stay hidden when it needs to, but still look hot when you want it to…

Victoria’s Secret Biofit Strapless

What are your strapless favorites?

Bad Surprise Number 1: Cleavage Overkill

In my opinion, overly exposed cleavage is never cute – even if you have a rack that rivals Scarlett Johansson’s in perkiness and perfect round shape. In the office, however, I think that this is particularly inappropriate. Last week I attended an intern meeting and could barely focus on the speaker because the girl sitting across from me was practically spilling out of her V-neck tee. Put ‘em away, ladies! It’s not professional, and more likely than not you’ll be confronted by one of your coworkers for violating the office dress code (which always exist, even if you haven’t been handed something in writing).

Bad Surprise Number 2: Rainboots
It’s basically been raining for the past 10 days and I no one dreads soggy toes quite like I do. Rainboots are a practical (and cute – I’m loving my green Hunter Wellington’s) way to stay dry as you race to make your 9:30 meeting, but they are only meant for the outdoors! When you get to your desk, swap your booties for a comfortable pair of heels, flats, or boots. Rainwear worn inside ends up looking sloppy and strange, and they make those weird squeaky sounds when you walk down the hall that are just downright annoying.

Bad Surprise Number 3: Scrunchies
They still make these?

Bad Surprise Number 4: All black
Isn’t summer  the time for bright colors and fun prints? Apparently not. You wouldn’t believe how many people I pass in the office wearing all-black ensembles a la Morticia Adams in the middle of winter. Lighten up, everyone! I’ll speak for myself when I say that I’ve fully embraced the white pant (which I admit that I wear all year round… forget those Memorial Day/Labor Day rules) and the floral dress and plan to wear them all summer long.

And one good surprise…

Good Surprise Number 1: Spandex worn right
I’ve always maintained that if you wear spandex, you must wear a shirt/dress/tunic that covers your butt (and ideally makes its way to mid thigh) unless you want some serious camel-toe or dimple-butt. Leggings aren’t substitutes for pants, and they shouldn’t be treated as such. But I’m ready to make an exception for those trendy stretchies that look like denim even though they’re regular old spandex (some styles even have zippers, pockets, or buttons) and pair perfectly with blouses and blazers. Member’s Only makes a really cute pair that are as dark (and concealing) as regular jeans so that you’re not walking around overexposed.

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/24/intern-diaries-what-not-to-wear/feed/ 9 Maddie - Tufts University cleavage http://collegecandy.com/2009/05/19/hot-and-bothered-your-bra-knows-what-to-do/ http://collegecandy.com/2009/05/19/hot-and-bothered-your-bra-knows-what-to-do/#comments Tue, 19 May 2009 21:00:57 +0000 Melanie - Northeastern University http://collegecandy.com/?p=30040 ]]>

You know what I love about being a girl? The fact that when we get aroused, there’s no awkward visible growth of body parts.

Well, thanks to lingerie companies, that’s all about to change.

A European lingerie company has invented a bra that boosts your cleavage when you’re aroused. That’s right, your girls will be lifted and pushed together whenever you start daydreaming about the hottie sitting across from you in lecture.

What’s the point.? Is it to get the object of your desire all hot and bothered, too? Maybe get somethin’ lifting over there? Or maybe to give you the extra confidence you need to get up and approach him?

I’m really not so sure (nor do I understand why women wouldn’t want their boobs to be nice and perky all the time), but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try it. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have a physical reaction to someone, and for around $50, I finally can.

As usual, last night’s Video Music Awards blew.  The geniuses at MTV have succeded in turning what was once a borderline semi-entertaining awards show into a series of tedious advertisements between more advertisements.  Great Job!

But despite all the foolishness, the red carpet was chock full o’ eye-catching looks… some hot, some way not.  So, rather than making you search thru all those grocery-store-checkout-line-webzines for your VMA fashion fix, we have compiled the best of the best and the best of the worst for your viewing pleasure.

BTW Pink- You saying “Lemme Check My Flow” in a song has a way different connotation than when Eminem says it… and the thought makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

(click thumbnail to view full image)

My mother continually assures me that I’m lucky. “Dresses fit you so well,” she tells me. That’s easy for her to say; I imagine most mothers, deep down, want to dress their daughters in conservative dresses that leave a lot to the imagination, but leave me looking like I’m wearing a sack on top.

Forget showing off cleavage; it’s pretty hard when you barely have cleavage. I don’t mind looking nice in the occasional baggy shirt for a job interview, but how is a flat-chested girl supposed to look Hott?

I worry about my appeal to guys more often than I should. To be crude, can any guy be passionately attracted to a girl if he can’t get a handful of her? The comments I’ve seen on this site have been encouraging, but still, it can be disheartening when I have to avoid strapless dresses purely because I can’t hold them up. There’s a lot of boob-fixation in the media these days, and magazines, movies and tv shows can be insidious. They can start convincing us that large breasts are all guys think about and desire in a woman.

My situation has forced me to get creative when it comes to sex appeal; that’s why I look for fashion inspiration in other decades.

For all you fellow A-cuppers out there, I recommend looking to an era of fashion when flat-chested girls were celebrated. Look to the twenties, when women were sexy, glamorous, and flat all at the same time! I look for plunging necklines, button-down shirts and dresses, and boatnecks to show off my wide shoulders. We flat girls may not be able to exude sex appeal, but we can look glamorous. I also recommend looking to the seventies for fashion inspiration. A fashion favorite of mine is Diane Keaton in Annie Hall. She made wearing ties and vests sexy; there’s something very classy and even sensual about the preppy/androgynous look.

So if you’re a flat girl like me, don’t get yourself down. Find things that flatter your shape, and enjoy the blessings of a flat existence: going braless with those dresses with the low backs, running down stairs pain-free, and not having much ground to cover during the monthly self-exam.

[Photo courtesy of ebaumsworld.com]

When I was in 8th grade, I went from flat-as-a-board to a large C in a matter of months; when I discovered binge drinking in college, my Freshman Fifteen accumulated in my breasts, and I was busting out of 36 DD bras, but refused to buy anything bigger because I felt like a freak. Over the past year, a strict cardio regimen has reduced my girls to a 34 DD, but I still long for the old days: a perky pair no bigger than a handful. That being said, why Miss Hershey would intentionally strive for the “World’s Biggest Breasts” is beyond me.

I can’t wear halter tops. Tube tops have never even been an option. Empire waists cut across the middle of my boobs, and any triangle cut will have me looking like a prostitute. To all the petite girls out there: the next time you are getting ready to go out to a bar or club, pick something out that doesn’t fall into one of these categories. More often than not, I end up feeling like a librarian when I’m surrounded by girls who can show off their shoulders, backs, and not-obscene cleavage.

My boobs are embarrassing. Once a friend developed a picture of me, and doubled over with laughter because my jugs looked ginormous in the pic. I’ve also had small children point and laugh. I worked at a restaurant with a female manager who was notorious for not buttoning her blouse all the way, and a coworker called her out on her unprofessional cleavage. Her response? “Kathryn shows off her cleavage!” Not willing to be her scapegoat, I snapped, “I could wear a turtleneck and I’d still have cleavage.” It was only funny because, sadly, it’s true.

I wish I could see what I’d look like with a more proportioned rack. I bet I’d look like I lost ten pounds, if only my upper “half” didn’t account for 75% of my body weight. I bet my lady lumps wouldn’t fly out of control on the elliptical, despite being strapped in by a sports bra and support tank. Above all, I bet I would never, ever consider going under the knife for a breast enlargement surgery. Let alone NINE surgeries. Can breasts be too big? My vote is in: YES.

[Photo courtesy of Boinkology.com]

I hate shopping!

Okay, well, that’s not entirely true- I can’t say I hate shopping as in I never want to shop again or I hate the activity of shopping. I guess what I meant to say is every time I walk in to a store whether is be Saks or Forever 21 I want to scream: WHO DESIGNED THESE UGLY PIECES OF GROSSNESS?

I mean seriously I can’t be the only person who feels this way. But EW. What has happened to fashion?

Wasn’t it just a few months ago I was overwhelmed by all of the different fashion choices?

Waiting with gnawing anticipation while I debated what my spring style would be? Why is fall fashion making me sad, depressed and looking fifteen pounds heavier?

Now I step into a store and minus the pretty jewel tones that are in (which might I add is the ONLY thing we have going for us right now) everything seems to be designed for Nicole Richie in her 9 th month of pregnancy.

Maternity Wear is the new little black dress. but guess what? I’m not planning on busting out a buddha belly anytime soon.

Am I the only one who is begging for fitted dresses? Is it an outrageous idea to want to show a waist or some cleavage or something that makes me resemble a woman even in the slightest?

I think I’d have better luck shopping at an actual maternity store than in my favorite boutiques and department store regulars.

I guess the upside is that my wallet is feeling heavier than ever…

While I’ve given up hope on Britney’s amazing comeback-(well a part of me deep down is still really rooting for her) I’d give all my Benjamin’s (there really aren’t all that many in my name at the current moment) for flattering fashion to make its long anticipated return!