Beautiful, right?

Okay, so I have to level with you. It took every ounce of my will power to not use this column as a LeBron bashing zone. I know that not many people are as passionate about their sports teams, but when you’re a die hard Cleveland fan, you understand that being a Cleveland fan is pretty similar to being in an unhealthy relationship. A very, very unhealthy relationship. Where your heart is constantly being broken and just when you think that everything will be okay, and you’ll get a ring, then all of a sudden your man goes on national television to publicly humiliate you and announce that he’s dumping you and moving to Miami to hang out with his bros and hook up with the Kardashians.

But, like I said, I’m not going to use this as a forum to stoop to that level and tear apart that cowardly, embarrassment to the state of Ohio, LeBrat LeBron. Instead, like any good Midwestern girl should, I’m going to take the high road and focus on all the reasons that Cleveland will survive without the self-titled “King” and still rules, despite all the flack that people give the beautiful “Mistake on the Lake.”

10. The people
Who doesn’t love a good-hearted group of people? I’m hard pressed to find a nicer bunch of humanity than the homegrown heroes of Cleveland Ohio. I heart the Midwest and their genuine, laid back attitude.

9. Severe sports hotties
LeWHO? Have you seen Grady Sizemore (granted- he’s for the Indians, but still)? Total babe.

8. The Browns?
Come on, we’ve got a shot this year. Right?
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Hey! Hey Fox Network! I’ve got an idea! Why don’t you take the most boring, tiny, one-note side character from Family Guy and make it into a spinoff?

Awesome. You guys are totally awesome.

Just kidding, Fox Network. You totally suck.

Shit like this, taking Cleveland (of all characters) from Family Guy and giving him his own show, really pisses me off.

Where is the creativity, Fox Network?! Is this what I’m paying $45 a month in cable TV for?!

I hate Fox. I do. I hate Fox and here is why:

(1) Their news is retardedly biased and annoying and their newscasters are wooden and remind me of an old high school boyfriend who could not for the life of him figure out how to unhook a bra. Read More »