Type 2: Screwing

I go through phases where I listen to different podcasts on a fairly obsessive basis. It was during one of these phases that I stumbled upon a podcast called Sex, Love, and Intimacy (on which our lovely editor did an interview, the same interview that introduced me to CollegeCandy in the first place). As you guys may have noticed, I  have a lot of respect for people who do the job that I hope one day to do myself (you know, like how often I talk about Dan Savage…), and I tend to quote them a lot. Chip August, the host of Sex, Love, and Intimacy had a slogan that has stuck with me long after the podcast ended – “sex is more than just a piece of skin, a piece of skin, wiggle wiggle pop.”

Oh, how true that is.  There’s more to sex than just the act – the in and out, the build up and the orgasm. There’s more than the positions. No, I’m not going into the emotions and love and meaning behind sex. Not gonna lie, I don’t even know what to call the thing I’m talking about; style? Type? Intensity? But bear with me, I will explain:

Making Love:
As much as I hate that phrase (oh, how I despise it so), it’s really the only way to describe it. Those intimate sessions that are usually slow and loving. More about feeling everything than the climax. While love-making may not be hottest or most passionate, or even the sexiest, it is definitely the most intimate.

Screwing:
Okay, in reality I would call this type of sex f*cking, but I have a problem with censoring my words, so we’re just going to call it screwing for all intents and purposes, and you guys can follow along with what I really mean. I find this tends to be the favorite for college-aged guys. It’s the least intimate (generally, not saying having a good screw can’t be loving), and usually the most intense. You know, sweaty and loud, and being thrown all over the place. It’s usually just about getting off, but since when is that a bad thing?

The happy-medium:
When I’ve described this “3-kinds-of-sex” theory to different partners, this particular “type” is usually just labeled something along the lines of “plain old sex.” Maybe it’s vanilla, or maybe it’s just not as steamy as screwing, but this tends to be the fall-back for most couples. It’s the middle between making love and screwing, usually takes the least effort, and produces the results expected out of some good ol’ fashioned sex.

The trick to a sustainable sex life isn’t just mixing up the positions and introducing some sexy toys (though that helps too), it can be as easy as just mixing up the “style.” Sometimes the mood strikes to be um.. pounded, and sometimes the mood strikes to have fingers-intertwined and love and romance. And sometimes, it’s just sex to get the job done.

Pssst! If anyone else knows the “proper” name for this phenomenon, please let me know… it was kinda hard to write about something that doesn’t have a specific label!

I learned about fake orgasms from The Simpsons. When I was a kid, I remember watching an episode in which Bart’s class was watching a sex-ed video. In the back of the class, smoking a cigarette, Mrs. Crabapple whispers under her breath “oh, she’s faking it.” Faking what, I didn’t really know at the time, and of course my sister replied to my questions with the standard “I’ll tell you when you’re older,” but it just took a little more whining and she told me everything.

And who could forget Meg Ryan’s character in When Harry Met Sally producing the most infamous fake orgasm in movie history (if you haven’t seen it, you need to watch it now). In that scene, Sally proves she’s not only a great actress, but she also points out a rather sad but realistic fact  — “most women at one time or another have faked it.”

To do a little research for this article, I made my way over to Google and searched the simple term “faking it.” I was shocked –  there were at least 4 results on how to fake an orgasm, how to hide faking an orgasm, what it meant to fake an orgasm, and only one link on how to have an actual orgasm. And that was just the first page. Wait… what? Read More »

Last weekend, I had the best orgasm of my life. (I apologize for the over-share, but it really needed to be said.) Days later, as I was thinking about that episode for the 258th time, I realized that I don’t really know much about my best friend, the orgasm. Thus, like a true writer, I just had to do some digging to find out what The Big O was all about. Here are some of the more interesting – and obscure – information out there.

Why do we orgasm?: Truth be told, nobody actually knows for sure. Some say that it encourages patience from your partner because we take so damn long to climax. Others say that the exhaustive effects of orgasm keep the woman horizontal, and thus, keep the sperm from “falling out” of the woman. I don’t need to tell you that both of those have been ruled out as possible reasons for the Big O. Newer theories suggest that orgasm increases the probability of conception and/or the frequency of sex. Honestly, I don’t really care why, where, when and who it happens with as long as it gets the job done. Read More »

[The following post is courtesy of our homegirls over at YourTango. Well, their male perspective. They’ve been through it all and know just about everything about love, so we thought we’d bring their expertise to you. Enjoy!]  

In our piece, The Myth Of The Male Orgasm, we wrote about men who have trouble coming—it’s not as uncommon as you think. In fact, an AskMen survey found that 23% of guys have faked it at some point.

Women impersonate the O for various reasons; a common excuse is not wanting to hurt his feelings. AskMen says that guys do it for the same reason. “The prevailing opinion is that men should be able to climax whenever, wherever and under any circumstance,” which simply isn’t true. Your dude might have trouble peaking if he’s tired, stressed or drunk, or if he’s already climaxed that day. And if that’s the situation, he might fake it. Read More »

Wednesdays are rough. Sure, you are halfway through the week, but you still have two more loooong days before the weekend. Barf.

You aren’t alone; we can barely keep our eyes open right now, and we’ve had 2 Venti Lattes today. Maybe we shouldn’t have stayed up so late last night watching old episodes of Saved By The Bell on DVD. Who are we kidding? Of course we should have!

Anyways, in order to get you through the hardest day of the week (after Monday or hungover-as-hell Sunday, that is), we thought we’d play a little game of “Would You Rather?” Because what is more fun than pondering life’s most random conundrums?

So, here we go. Choose your answer and explain why in the comments section below!

Would you rather experience orgasm upon hearing the word “pancake,” or reflexively belt out the chorus of “Come On, Eileen” upon reaching climax?

No, we did not think of these ourselves – we aren’t that sick. All questions come from our friends Justin Hiemberg and David Gomberg, creators of the Would You Rather…? series. 

There is nothing more visually exciting and brain numbingly frivolous than the classic E! show Vegas episode. When the Girls Next Door go, I can’t wait to see how underdressed Kendra will be. When the Sunset Tan “ladies” go, I make sure to wear orange. So I’ve been really excited for the Vegas episode(s?) since Dina first discussed it in the first show. Every week since then, I have been taunted by promises of Vegas debauchery (at least I hope so) and yet I still have seen no Vegas. That said, I’m beginning to wonder: will this family actually ever get to Vegas?

This week’s episode, unfortunately but expectedly, was lacking in Vegas. It was chock full of boring-ness though. I got the feeling that the producers wanted to spruce up the season, and added some filler episodes before the big climax. This episode was Baby’s Breath to the bouquet of Living Lohan.

Basically, no one wants to go to Vegas with Ali and Dina. Dina tries to coax excitement out of Cody. She ruthlessly wants to uproot her only responsible child from his busy social life and sports schedule to go party in Las Vegas. She tries bribing Cody with Niketown swag. She tells him of all the fun he’ll have. She finally realizes that he is eleven and she has the upper hand. Cody’s going to Vegas whether he likes it or not. Read More »