In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.

So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.

So it’s New Year’s Eve and you’re single…again. Cue the tightest little black dress that practically defies the laws of physics. Cue double fisting $4 champagne. Cue the drunk dialing your ex just to tell him you “don’t miss him or his BMW at all!” Well…maybe not that last one. Not this year anyway. This new year leave your ex from Planet Douchebag behind and give closure another shot by making it your resolution.

Lesson 5: Sometimes you have to create your own closure.

Breakups are messy. You don’t always get a chance to tie up the loose ends from a burned relationship with your ex love. You don’t always get your questions answered. So when sitting down to rehash your feelings with your ex isn’t an option, it’s time to take it upon yourself to sort things out. Read More »

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Dear Dude,

The other weekend I met a guy through a mutual friend at breakfast, and we hit it off. I happened to run into him later that day, and we spent a good four hours just chatting and flirting while working, and he ended up inviting me to his place to watch a movie with some friends. He had his arm around me during the movie, and once everyone else left, we started making out. He started to take things further, I went along for a while but then put a stop to it, saying I should go home, since I wasn’t comfortable going that far with a guy I just met. He said I could sleep over if I wanted or he could walk me home, and he said he wanted to get breakfast in the morning. So he walked me home, and we did get that breakfast.

The next night, we were both out at separate parties, but he texted me saying to let him know if I wanted to meet up. So later that night I texted him saying that my roommate was gone for the weekend, and to meet me outside the party I was at. He comes, I proudly announce that I’m drunk, and he just laughs and starts walking me back to my place. Again, we start hooking up, but after a little I again put a stop to it, since, again, I’d just met him the day before. He says it’s fine, I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to, etc. I apologize, since by this point I’m sober enough to realize that bringing him back home was a cocktease and a half, but he insists everything’s fine. He asks if I want him to sleep over or if he should go back home, I say he can stay if he wants. He asks if I’d like that, I say yes, so for the rest of the night we just cuddle, with him occasionally kissing my forehead and such, just generally being very sweet. Read More »

Closure. What does that term actually mean?

From conversations with my girl friends, I’ve deduced that “closure” is when you can finally move on from a failed relationship. My friends have described it as the feeling you get once you can finally put the relationship behind you and say goodbye to an ex for good.

But how do we get there? When does that come? And how do we know? Does closure really mean we have to say goodbye to move on? Does it imply that women must kick someone out of their lives to move on with their own?

Well if so, I’m screwed.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for years and he is still a sporadic fixture in my life. I met him in elementary school, fell in love with him when I was 16, and now I’m 21 and he is still around. He’s faded into the background a bit, but he’s most definitely still in the picture.

And despite having him around, I am honestly, 100% over him. After a few years of messy friendship and the occasionally stupid hook-up, I finally got over it (hallelujah!) and moved on. I slowly but surely pulled myself together and was happy being single and on my own. After that, I dated and even fell in love again. Read More »

When I first moved after college I started talking to a nice boy. He eventually invited me out to dinner and we hit up this cute little Thai restaurant. It was a lovely evening that went on for hours before we both had to head home for the night. We did a little cheek kiss goodbye and promised to speak to each other soon. So, when he hadn’t called three days later, I called him. He didn’t answer. I called again. And again. I left messages and kept my phone close by (like, on my pillow as I slept) so I wouldn’t miss his call. Which never came.

I obviously should have gotten the hint, but I just couldn’t let it go. We had such a great date; how could he just stop talking to me? What did I do wrong? Why would he tell me he’d call if he never planned to? I needed to hear it – I needed to know he wasn’t interested. I needed that closure.

Eventually, which was far too long in any sane person’s book, I gave up and moved on. He wasn’t going to call. I had my closure. Looking back, I realize just how crazy I was. Literally, crazy. No wonder he never called back; he was probably at the police station trying to get a restraining order. But I was young and alone in a giant new city. That boy was the one thing I had to hold onto while I started a new job, found a new apartment and adjusted to life outside of Ann Arbor, Michigan. Read More »