Lady Gaga never ceases to amaze/horrify. Her entire wardrobe is one big costume box. Which leaves me to wonder who her dealer is and if he’s looking for new clients what she was for Halloween… With everyone else going as her this year, I can’t even fathom what she could come up with.

Flesh-colored leotards, thigh high boots, Mardi Gras-inspired masks, wacky hats and a ton of camel-toes, Lady Gaga has done it all, and she leaves little to the imagination. Nevertheless, La Gaga says she plans on starting her own clothing line. Because that makes sense.

Obviously what this world needs is another awful celebrity clothing line/more leotards with feathers, ruffles and our favorite childhood puppets sewed on.  I am not sure what to expect from Gaga’s line, but I know for a fact there will be a lot of pantsless-models walking around New York Fashion Week next year.

And just for the record, THIS is the woman who wants to be a fashion designer…. Read More »

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Real Housewives reunion gets out of control.

How to bargain shop in your city.

Audrina Partridge getting a clothing line?

Freshen up after a hot summer day.

Another Heidi Montag trainwreck music video.

Oh Tar-jay!

You supply me with groceries at a price befitting my lowly college student income and budget. I even purchased some very attractive dorm décor from you. Yet your clothing has not reduced my money pile. Why, you ask?

Because, Tar-jay, you have not seduced me with quality fashion. I enjoy quality fabrics that last longer than three wears.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not a clothing snob, but I do read Vogue. I know style, trends, and fads. I adore shopping.

I want to be introduced, coaxed, and pleased by my clothing. When I buy something I want to feel the way I feel when I watch Fashion Week (on TV) and wish I could own the entire line. When Target had a turn-over and decided to introduce designers like Isaac Mizrahi, I smiled. Then I saw the clothing. My smile transformed to a grimace. I thought, “Yeah… wearing that does not enhance my style or age and it certainly does not resemble runway wear.”

Then, lo and behold, a new idea was born. The GO International line arrived. I was impressed. Go Target!! You actually got international designers to produce appealing clothing! Yay! There was Tara Jarmon, Proenza Schouler, and even Thakoon. Then I saw the clothing up close. It was fine. Just…fine. That’s all. Some designers included asymmetrical lines, and busy prints. The clothing was completely wearable, but where was my fashion-gasm?? Where was the moment my head started spinning? Where were thoughts of the right shoes and accessories? It did not happen. And, besides, they still needed better quality fabric. Read More »

In days of yore, clothing lines were created by people like Jeanne Lanvin, CoCo Chanel, Hubert de Givenchy; people with skill, talent, vision, taste. You know, fashion designers.

But nowadays, it seems like any celeb with some cash and spare time on their hands can slap a few pieces together and call it a collection. And while some lines knock it out of the park (why hello there, L.A.M.B.!), a vast majority fall more in the category of utter hot mess. Below is a sampling of the messiest of the hot messes.

5) The Kardashians: DASH – Oh, Kardashians. Kim becomes famous (?) by hanging out with Paris, nailing Ray J on tape, and having a mega huge ass, and the rest of the family rides on the coattails of her, um, success. Taking this into consideration, I suppose the Kardashian sisters’ line DASH makes sense; tacky, trashy, cookie-cutter and distinctly substandard, DASH looks very much like the $4.99 rack at Forever 21, only the items cost anywhere from 11 to 250 times as much. But I heard that every item is sprinkled with magical butt-expanding powder, so maybe that’s where the mark-up comes in.

4) Travis Barker: Famous Stars and Straps – I don’t like ghetto style. Baby Phat, Ed Hardy, gold tribal embellishments on jeans, air-brush aesthetics, ew. No thank you. But while a line may not suit my tastes personally, I’ll still give it props for being good for what it is (insert a nod to Apple Bottoms). Unfortunately, Travis Barker’s Famous Stars and Straps has the double issue of going for an aesthetic that is inherently fug and is badly done. From an uninspired/outdated logo that’s plastered on EVERYTHING to graphics that scream seventh grade, Famous is the clothing equivalent of the suburbs: generic, boring, and painfully white trying to front like it’s fly. Read More »

First Britney Spears created a perfume. Then Jessica Simpson started designing clothes. Then Lindsay Lohan threatened to bring us leggings with built-in knee pads….

And now Kid Rock will be brewing beer?!

WTF is up with celebrities trying to do it all? Just because you are good at rocking the stage (or mediocre at best, if you are Jessica Simpson) doesn’t mean that you know how to design bedding. Or a nice smelling perfume.

And just because you happen to drink a lot of beer doesn’t mean that you should start brewing it. I drink a lot of beer; do you see me coming out with a Wolverine Brew? No! Because while I know how to consume beer quickly (beer pong), I don’t know the first thing about brewing mother f–king beer.

What’s next? Paris Hilton uses a ton of condoms (I imagine); is she gonna launch a line of Paris Couture Condoms? Is Britney Spears going to release her very own Spears-Anti-Psyhoctic meds? Will Snoop Dog create his own Super Snoop Weed?

Kid, I think you are pretty good on stage, but I don’t think you really have it in you to create a beer. I mean, you are Kid Rock for God’s sake; your lifestyle is more aligned with trailers and chewing tobacco than with a nice, smooth brew. We already have Keystone, Schlitz and PBR; do we really need another low quality keg?

Would you drink Kid Rock Beer?

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Lauren Conrad takes another stab at Fashion Week.

Jessica Simpson is dowdy.

Looks like the real drama on 90210 is happening off-screen.

Not sure who to vote for? Figure it out.

Short Shorts Girl makes us laugh.

A Winehouse burrito.

In your FACE, healthy people.

4 inch heels: hot and dangerous.

Brad and Jen are back…at least for drinks.

Chick flicks you can watch with your boy-toy.

Betsey Johnson runway show: crazy and fabulous.

Good news! The roads are safe again. No more drunken Nicole Richie cruising the Pacific Coast Highway the wrong way. I bet you think it’s because she’s a mom now and, therefore, is either, A) too responsible and motherly to do that, or B) too busy changing diapers to go out and party.

Guess again.

I mean, I guess that could have something to do with it. But what if I told you that the streets – and everyone walking/driving on ‘em – were also safe from Paris, Britney and Lohan? I know, I know; when pigs fly. Or, perhaps, when P-Diddy decides to take on yet another business venture.

Obviously, his clothing line/record company/MTV show/hunt for an assistant/being a (Puff) daddy aren’t enough for the mogul; Mr. Combs has now decided to add a transportation company to the mix. And not just any transportation company – this one is focused solely on getting (rich and famous) people home from the bar. Read More »

There is a reason why pro-football players aren’t actors. The same reason why actors aren’t pro-football players.

There is a reason we come into this nice, little world, with…gifts. And unless you’re some SUPER HUMAN FREAK, you don’t tend to have gifts that cross into a million different categories.

So when Vanessa Minnillo, used-to-be MTV VJ and super babe girlfriend to Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson’s former husband, announces she is making, “a film.“, I want to tell her to grab a microphone, bust out an ab-roller, do her hair, tell me what the number one video of the week is, and then-shut up.

I get that a job like VJing is, to most, a platform to a “greater success.” But when was the last time a VJ came out with an Oscar winning, or even bearable film that didn’t go straight to DVD? I don’t think ever? Or didn’t join some cheesy teen sitcom (One Tree Hill- Hilarie Burton)?

Come to think of it, its not just VJ’s who are overextending themselves, Hollywood in general is getting ridiculously greedy. Read More »

Well folks, it’s time for yet another reality dating show. This time around, however there is a clever little twist. Tila Tequila, of Myspace and self-promoted fame, is the star of MTV’s new show “A Shot at love with Tila Tequila.”

The formula is essentially the same: Six weeks, find love, contestants get eliminated, one will remain at the end, and there will be a reunion special where we discover the winner really isn’t interested. Sound familiar? The big twist in Ms. Tequila’s show is her opportunity to come out as a bisexual and have 16 lesbians square off against 16 straight dudes for her affection. This should be fun.

Tila Tequila, nee Tila Nguyen, shot to fame by becoming the most popular person on Myspace as of April 2006. She has modeled for Playboy, Stuff and Maxim. She also was the number one unsigned artist on Myspace. Through shameless self-promotion and half-naked pictures, Tila has really become internet superstar. Now with her own show, she is sure to become a reality television superstar. I have no doubt the clothing line will follow soon. Oops, there already is a clothing line. Read More »

Against my wishes, Wilmer Valderrama is still famous.

IMDB says he’s got 4 movies coming out, including a remake of CHIPs where he plays Ponch.

Plus, he’s got that show on MTV…that show that makes me want to vomit in my hand and then throw it at the TV; Yo Mamma. A program so lame, so boring, and so repetitive, it has to potential to push viewers into an immediate coma.

I didn’t always wish Valderrama would go away. Years ago, when he was just starting on That 70’s Show, I thought he was adorable. Hilarious, too. But everything changed when he started dating Lindsay. His attitude and ego soared (although maybe they had already been that way?), he oozed skeeze, and was talking trash about harmless little Mandy Moore.

Then he started to design $80 T-shirts, and then…Yo Mamma. Read More »