Flesh-colored leotards, thigh high boots, Mardi Gras-inspired masks, wacky hats and a ton of camel-toes, Lady Gaga has done it all, and she leaves little to the imagination. Nevertheless, La Gaga says she plans on starting her own clothing line. Because that makes sense.

Obviously what this world needs is another awful celebrity clothing line/more leotards with feathers, ruffles and our favorite childhood puppets sewed on.  I am not sure what to expect from Gaga’s line, but I know for a fact there will be a lot of pantsless-models walking around New York Fashion Week next year.

And just for the record, THIS is the woman who wants to be a fashion designer….

This scares me. A lot.

Real Housewives reunion gets out of control.

How to bargain shop in your city.

Audrina Partridge getting a clothing line?

Freshen up after a hot summer day.

Another Heidi Montag trainwreck music video.

You supply me with groceries at a price befitting my lowly college student income and budget. I even purchased some very attractive dorm décor from you. Yet your clothing has not reduced my money pile. Why, you ask?

Because, Tar-jay, you have not seduced me with quality fashion. I enjoy quality fabrics that last longer than three wears.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not a clothing snob, but I do read Vogue. I know style, trends, and fads. I adore shopping.

I want to be introduced, coaxed, and pleased by my clothing. When I buy something I want to feel the way I feel when I watch Fashion Week (on TV) and wish I could own the entire line. When Target had a turn-over and decided to introduce designers like Isaac Mizrahi, I smiled. Then I saw the clothing. My smile transformed to a grimace. I thought, “Yeah… wearing that does not enhance my style or age and it certainly does not resemble runway wear.”

Then, lo and behold, a new idea was born. The GO International line arrived. I was impressed. Go Target!! You actually got international designers to produce appealing clothing! Yay! There was Tara Jarmon, Proenza Schouler, and even Thakoon. Then I saw the clothing up close. It was fine. Just…fine. That’s all. Some designers included asymmetrical lines, and busy prints. The clothing was completely wearable, but where was my fashion-gasm?? Where was the moment my head started spinning? Where were thoughts of the right shoes and accessories? It did not happen. And, besides, they still needed better quality fabric.

I badmouthed Tar-jay. I said H&M did it better. I gave up hope. I decided that the only thing I could get from Tar-jay was groceries, dorm décor, appliances, and socks. Maybe a cardigan every now and then, but since Patrick Robinson took over design for Gap, I have been moseying over there.

After I decided to share my views of the “bad Tar-jay clothing” to friends and acquaintances, I heard news of Alexander McQueen’s line for Target. I wanted to kick myself in the face with a 4-inch heel. Ouch. I know. Who wouldn’t want to reply to “That’s a great shirt!” by saying “Thanks, [pause] it’s Alexander McQueen.” Alexander McQueen, the bad boy of fashion, and winner of three British designer of the year awards would look sooo good in my closet.

Okay, so I’m being a bit of a fashion snob, but for good reason. The preview of his line makes me ashamed for being so judgmental toward Tar-jay. In fact, as a fashionista, I’m pretty proud of them. Target has actually brought on of fashion’s biggest designers to the masses, without losing the little touches that make him such a success.

I just jumped on the Target bandwagon. I don’t even have to French-ify the name anymore! Alexander McQueen just boosted Target’s popularity. (Kinda like what Britney did for K. Fed or what Mariah is doing for Nick Cannon.) Next step, receive paycheck and submerge myself in fashion-gasm.

The line is in stores sometime this month, so look out!

But nowadays, it seems like any celeb with some cash and spare time on their hands can slap a few pieces together and call it a collection. And while some lines knock it out of the park (why hello there, L.A.M.B.!), a vast majority fall more in the category of utter hot mess. Below is a sampling of the messiest of the hot messes.

5) The Kardashians: DASH – Oh, Kardashians. Kim becomes famous (?) by hanging out with Paris, nailing Ray J on tape, and having a mega huge ass, and the rest of the family rides on the coattails of her, um, success. Taking this into consideration, I suppose the Kardashian sisters’ line DASH makes sense; tacky, trashy, cookie-cutter and distinctly substandard, DASH looks very much like the $4.99 rack at Forever 21, only the items cost anywhere from 11 to 250 times as much. But I heard that every item is sprinkled with magical butt-expanding powder, so maybe that’s where the mark-up comes in.

4) Travis Barker: Famous Stars and Straps – I don’t like ghetto style. Baby Phat, Ed Hardy, gold tribal embellishments on jeans, air-brush aesthetics, ew. No thank you. But while a line may not suit my tastes personally, I’ll still give it props for being good for what it is (insert a nod to Apple Bottoms). Unfortunately, Travis Barker’s Famous Stars and Straps has the double issue of going for an aesthetic that is inherently fug and is badly done. From an uninspired/outdated logo that’s plastered on EVERYTHING to graphics that scream seventh grade, Famous is the clothing equivalent of the suburbs: generic, boring, and painfully white trying to front like it’s fly.

3) Beyonce: House of Dereon – I remember the first time the truly horrendous designs of the House of Dereon were brought to my attention. Destiny’s Child was still together and the ladies were walking the red carpet at some event, all of them wearing matching green and gold gowns that barely looked classy enough to be worn at the Adult Movie Awards. “Damn,” I thought, “What designer conned them in to wearing those hideous get ups?” Answer: Beyonce’s mom. Since then, Tina Knowles, with the help of her daughter Ms. Fierce, have created season after season of high-end frocks and streetwear that seem to be based on the idea that anything worth doing is worth overdoing. Belts, sequins, ruffles, florals, leopard prints, seams, studs, pockets, buckles, zippers, fur; these ladies rock it all… to the point where pieces look like an explosion at the Jo-Anne Fabrics store. An ugly explosion. An ugly expensive explosion. Boo.

2) Elizabeth Hurley: Beach – So now you know – Elizabeth Hurley makes clothes. But, uh, you’re not missing out on much. Hurley’s resort wear line Beach is pretty much a carbon copy of every Newport News catalog since 1998; we’re talking dumpy Indian-inspired Mandarin-collared kaftans, terry cloth hoodies, a-line polka dot dresses with fringy dangly ball trim…you know, sh*t your mom would wear at the beach over her ruffle-skirted bathing suit. However, as Elizabeth Hurley is one of the hottest people on the planet and is married to a multi-millionaire Indian prince or something, I’m guessing something as trivial as a god-f**king-awful clothing line won’t really set her back much.

1) Tara Reid: Mantra – Candy-bright colors, synthetic fabrics, those plastic Rose Art beads you used to make necklaces out of when you were a kid, and Tara Reid. That pretty much covers it.

And now Kid Rock will be brewing beer?!

WTF is up with celebrities trying to do it all? Just because you are good at rocking the stage (or mediocre at best, if you are Jessica Simpson) doesn’t mean that you know how to design bedding. Or a nice smelling perfume.

And just because you happen to drink a lot of beer doesn’t mean that you should start brewing it. I drink a lot of beer; do you see me coming out with a Wolverine Brew? No! Because while I know how to consume beer quickly (beer pong), I don’t know the first thing about brewing mother f–king beer.

What’s next? Paris Hilton uses a ton of condoms (I imagine); is she gonna launch a line of Paris Couture Condoms? Is Britney Spears going to release her very own Spears-Anti-Psyhoctic meds? Will Snoop Dog create his own Super Snoop Weed?

Kid, I think you are pretty good on stage, but I don’t think you really have it in you to create a beer. I mean, you are Kid Rock for God’s sake; your lifestyle is more aligned with trailers and chewing tobacco than with a nice, smooth brew. We already have Keystone, Schlitz and PBR; do we really need another low quality keg?

Would you drink Kid Rock Beer?

Wanna see more celebrity stupidity? Join our Facebook group and we’ll update you on all the dumb sh*t celebrities are doin’!

Lauren Conrad takes another stab at Fashion Week.

Jessica Simpson is dowdy.

Looks like the real drama on 90210 is happening off-screen.

Not sure who to vote for? Figure it out.

Short Shorts Girl makes us laugh.

A Winehouse burrito.

In your FACE, healthy people.

4 inch heels: hot and dangerous.

Brad and Jen are back…at least for drinks.

Chick flicks you can watch with your boy-toy.

Betsey Johnson runway show: crazy and fabulous.

Guess again.

I mean, I guess that could have something to do with it. But what if I told you that the streets – and everyone walking/driving on ‘em – were also safe from Paris, Britney and Lohan? I know, I know; when pigs fly. Or, perhaps, when P-Diddy decides to take on yet another business venture.

Obviously, his clothing line/record company/MTV show/hunt for an assistant/being a (Puff) daddy aren’t enough for the mogul; Mr. Combs has now decided to add a transportation company to the mix. And not just any transportation company – this one is focused solely on getting (rich and famous) people home from the bar.

Awww. He cares about people’s safety! Sort of, at least. “After partnering with Ciroc vodka, he wants to make sure everyone’s partying responsibly,” says one of his many people.

The whole thing is really cute and responsible, but it still begs the question of why these rich and famous people can’t afford their own transportation home from a night of partying. I make 100 times less money than any of these people and even I manage to hail a freaking cab after a night of Sake Bombs.

Sure, the rich and famous aren’t going to stand on the corner waiting for a taxi, but there have been limo services/private drivers around for celebs forever; what makes P-Diddy think his service is going to make a difference?

Another question on everyone’s minds (or mine) is what Puffy is going to call his newest venture. Combs’ Cars? Late Night Transpufftation? Diddy’s DDs?

Sorry, Sean, but just like Danity Kane, I don’t think this one is going to work out for you. Unless, of course, you create a reality show about the hunt for drivers.

I would definitely pay to watch that.

There is a reason we come into this nice, little world, with…gifts. And unless you’re some SUPER HUMAN FREAK, you don’t tend to have gifts that cross into a million different categories.

So when Vanessa Minnillo, used-to-be MTV VJ and super babe girlfriend to Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson’s former husband, announces she is making, “a film.“, I want to tell her to grab a microphone, bust out an ab-roller, do her hair, tell me what the number one video of the week is, and then-shut up.

I get that a job like VJing is, to most, a platform to a “greater success.” But when was the last time a VJ came out with an Oscar winning, or even bearable film that didn’t go straight to DVD? I don’t think ever? Or didn’t join some cheesy teen sitcom (One Tree Hill- Hilarie Burton)?

Come to think of it, its not just VJ’s who are overextending themselves, Hollywood in general is getting ridiculously greedy.

It isn’t just enough to be an actor with films and tv shows, now it’s all…I’d like to have a clothing line! Then when designing gets tiring, and Wal*Mart and Target have been dominated, “I’ve always liked perfume, maybe I’ll make my own?!“

Okay, people. There are designers because they were born to design, Actors because they have to ACT, Painters because they just have to paint, and Writers because they were born to WRITE. Just because you’re good at one thing doesn’t mean you’ll instantly be the master of all things creative.

So no, I don’t want to buy your wine, your earrings, your notebooks or–your album.

What is it with this whole generation who thinks just because they can buy recording programs and a decent microphone, they’re suddenly…producers? No, you’re a DUDE, WITH A BEATMAKER.

Just because you have a mic, doesn’t mean you can sing. Just because you have the outlet to create a childrens clothing line, doesn’t make you qualified to do so, i.e.: Hilary Duff, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Miley Cyrus??? Really, ladies, I know you aren’t in there sketching cropped jackets for five year olds all yourself. Please.

So, though there are the few who manage to dominate many genres of entertainment, and do it well, there are FEW who do it WELL. Madonna, does it well. But Madonna, is an alien.

So please, Hollywood, for the sake of production companies everywhere, for the sake of your agents’ jobs, for the sake of your own self-worth…stop double dipping and stick to what you know.

The formula is essentially the same: Six weeks, find love, contestants get eliminated, one will remain at the end, and there will be a reunion special where we discover the winner really isn’t interested. Sound familiar? The big twist in Ms. Tequila’s show is her opportunity to come out as a bisexual and have 16 lesbians square off against 16 straight dudes for her affection. This should be fun.

Tila Tequila, nee Tila Nguyen, shot to fame by becoming the most popular person on Myspace as of April 2006. She has modeled for Playboy, Stuff and Maxim. She also was the number one unsigned artist on Myspace. Through shameless self-promotion and half-naked pictures, Tila has really become internet superstar. Now with her own show, she is sure to become a reality television superstar. I have no doubt the clothing line will follow soon. Oops, there already is a clothing line.

There are some that are giving Tila the big thumbs up for breaking barriers and having a reality show that deals with alternative sexuality. While I’m sure that MTV appreciates being coined as “edgy,” the truth probably is the producers just ate up the idea of girls making out on TV. Does anything get better ratings? I don’t think so. The Christian Conservatives have bashed Tila for encouraging a gay lifestyle. They really don’t get that this kind of controversy only ups ratings even more.

I’m interested to see which way Tila ultimately swings. While I think most of the guys on the show are probably wetting themselves at the possibility of a threesome, most of the lesbians looked less than thrilled there were men in the house. I smell drama, and giant fights. Let the “ultimate battle of the sexes” begin!

Against my wishes, Wilmer Valderrama is still famous.

IMDB says he’s got 4 movies coming out, including a remake of CHIPs where he plays Ponch.

Plus, he’s got that show on MTV…that show that makes me want to vomit in my hand and then throw it at the TV; Yo Mamma. A program so lame, so boring, and so repetitive, it has to potential to push viewers into an immediate coma.

I didn’t always wish Valderrama would go away. Years ago, when he was just starting on That 70’s Show, I thought he was adorable. Hilarious, too. But everything changed when he started dating Lindsay. His attitude and ego soared (although maybe they had already been that way?), he oozed skeeze, and was talking trash about harmless little Mandy Moore.

Then he started to design $80 T-shirts, and then…Yo Mamma.

Somewhere along the over-exposed cheap track, he lost me.

It’s possible Fez can redeem himself with all those new movies, but considering one of them is a remake of a beloved late 70’s, early 80’s TV show, I won’t be holding my breath. ‘Rama might clean up nice, but he’s no Eric Estrada in his heydey.

What do you think? Is Wilmer still hot…or completely not?