My only wish was that the next twelve months whizz by so I can finally be 21.

Don’t get me wrong – I was excited that I will no longer be labelled as a teenager. But being 20 still means that I can’t get into most clubs without using my sister’s ID, or drink myself to oblivion (without my sister’s ID).

I’m tired of my friends having to plan their birthdays or events around the fact that I’m not yet 21 and can’t get into a 21 and above club. Sure, some clubs don’t check IDs when the bouncers think you look older, but  I’m a 20 year old who looks like a 16 year old, so there’s no way that works for me. And the few times I tried, I spent the whole time stressing about whether the bouncer would notice that I wasn’t looking him in the eye, or wearing layers and layers of makeup that made me look like a drag queen.

Once I did get in, I would be so paranoid that someone would notice that I was under age and would have me kicked out of the club that I never had much fun. Not to mention the fact that nervousness, adrenalin, those disco lights and the 2,000 other sweaty people gyrating on the dance floor created a serious drag makeup meltdown.

So I stopped trying. And now here I am: an adult, yet still a full year away from taking advantage of that new title. And all my friends are out living it up.

I know that there’s nothing I can do to make time move faster, so I guess I will spend the next 12 months convincing my older friends to hang out at home with me. Maybe I should pick up knitting? That’s an adult activity….

Being 20 sucks.

So it’s understandable why the anticipation of a trip home for the weekend (like this coming holiday weekend) can inspire a little anxiety, but once you cross the threshold of Home Sweet Home, you’ll remember just why it’s so sweet.

1. Home cookin’.

After a daily diet of fast food, dining hall “cuisine” and failed attempts at domesticity (and a pasta based backup plan) it is amazing to come home to fresh and delicious food. You want your childhood favorite? Mom and Dad will happily oblige. For one glorious weekend you get to come home to a hot meal every night, no stress required. And in those situations when someone just doesn’t feel like cooking, bring on the restaurants. When the closest thing to a gourmet meal you can afford is Olive Garden, nosh that’s a little more your parents’ taste leaves you feeling like you ate dinner at Buckingham Palace.

2. Retail Affection.

The initial bone crushing hugs and sporadic wistful looks followed by hugs that you’ll get all weekend are nothing compared to what you’ll score if you can get Mom to the mall. Her poor baby has been living in poverty at school as far as she’s concerned (and for the most part she’d be pretty accurate), so she’s more than willing to splurge on necessities like warm winter clothes (yes, everyone at school has 7 different coats, obv.), “comfortable” shoes for walking around campus (easily expandable into high heel territory) and any other array of daily wear that you have no access to at school. After all, Mom and Dad can’t expect you to shop at the bookstore for University brand gear every time you need a new outfit. And don’t forget the back to school care package you’ll probably get as you’re packing up. Take advantage and stock up on toiletries, hard to find makeup, laundry detergent, and any groceries you can bring back with you.

3. Your own bed.

The second your head hits your pillow on that first night back in your old room, you instantly feel comfortable. Your bed (if it was anything like mine) was there for late night sleepover whisper fests, studying for impossible AP exams, talking on the phone to your crush, steaming after fights with your parents, crying over heartbreaks and begging you not to wake up for your crack of dawn alarm for ridiculously early high school classes. Falling into it is like seeing an old friend and you get to sleep like a rock until you’re woken up by the scent of fresh pancakes…

4. Being a kid again.

The second you walk through your door, no matter what age you are, you instantly revert to age 10. Enjoy having your laundry done for you, every meal prepared just the way you like it and fussing over your hair, weight, dental health, etc., The best part? Since you’re technically a guest in your own home, count on little to no chores.

5. Old friends and haunts.

It’s great to see all your friends that went off to different schools and cities, especially great when gathered around a keg. Going out with your high school BFF’s as college students allows you to catch up and show each other just how much harder your school parties than their’s does. Also a perk? Going out to clubs at home if you live in a big city. Either you’re 21 by now or your fake is a lot more believable and you can finally check out what all the hype was about all those years spent as a minor.

Of course all of these aspects of going home are excellent, but the best one by far is the knowledge that you get to go home (to your new home) at the end of the weekend. It’s long enough to catch up and bond with the fam, pamper yourself with a free vacation before you head back to the world of school and responsibility, but not long enough for you to tire of curfews, chores and an itch for independence. So pack your bags gladly whether your coming or going home, you have a great weekend ahead of you at home and an equally awesome life to return to.

This series is meant to provide advice for getting the most out of college, rather than just getting through it. So far we've already discussed having a professor as a BFF, checking out what's going on in your college town, and now we're going to talk about extracurriculars - the ones you never thought you'd join!]

This generation of college gals are smart, savvy, and driven. Do you want to be a CEO of your own company one day? You’re probably already president of your college’s Business Leaders of Tomorrow club. Are you an up-and-coming style maven? No doubt you’re involved with your school’s Passion for Fashion group.

Yeah, being involved in career-minded clubs are definitely a must these days if you want to make connections, but what about joining a club…just for fun? It may seem difficult, especially when it’s so hard to manage school, friends, guys, a job, and elusive “me” time. However, if you take the plunge and join a club you never thought you would, a lot of things could happen.

First of all, joining a club for fun might lead you onto a completely different career path. Not that everything you do in college has to be future-oriented, but there are plenty of roads to success that don’t follow a “traditional” educational route. Have you seen Tina Fey’s awesome impersonations of Sarah Palin on SNL lately? She didn’t get a degree in Hilarity Studies to snag that gig. If you’re the “funny one” of your group of friends, or just a big comedy fan, why not stop in on a meeting of your campus’ improv group? You may discover you’re just as good at scoring laughs as Ms. Fey.

By the same token, f you’re always the one busting a move at mixers, or glue yourself to the couch whenever So You Think You Can Dance comes on, look into joining the dance troupe. And if you were always good at Spanish in high school but chose to devote your undergrad years to chem labs, maybe drop in on Foreign Language Club meetings to rediscover an old passion.

Furthermore, joining a new club will get you out of your dorm and into a new social circle. Sure, we all have our core group of friends, but do you ever feel like you’re doing the same old things all the time? If you’re looking for excitement, joining a new club just might jumpstart your social life. Most clubs will not only meet on campus but host or sponsor events in the community. Poetry or literary clubs will often hold open mics throughout the year–something to look into if you’re an inner poet or rapper who wants some exposure. Cultural clubs like Hillel or the Asian Student Union will certainly throw parties on holidays like Rosh Hashanah and Chinese New Year (plus, who doesn’t love free food?). And the pals you make from joining a new club can connect you to other fun things going on around campus you may never have heard about.

And joining a club for fun means there’s no “political” pressure to run for treasurer or president just so it looks good on your resume. You can attend meetings when you like, socialize with who you like, and get involved at your own leisure. Best of all, college is a time when you have an enormous amount of opportunities to try new things at very little cost and without expectations of following up. If you want to take a dance class after graduation it’ll cost you at least $15 a pop. So what do you have to lose? Get out there and break a leg!

[Come back to find out the next must-do on my list: Live With Strangers!]

At one time Big Bags were strictly for use by mommies, to carry Bandaids and nail clippers and tissues and lip balm and the million-and-one other things that kids may require on a daily basis.

Now my own Big Bag is stocked with Bandaids and nail clippers and tissues and lip balm, and I definitely have zero children in tow. The bottom is littered with old receipts, seven pens and gum wrappers. My Metrocards are slipping between the pages of my three notepads and my laptop is a constant companion. There’s even a hardcover copy of The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen somewhere in there. My iPod headphones are tangled up in my cell phone charger. Every credit card I’ve ever owned is jammed into my wallet that contains no cash. Three lipsticks are rolling around stuck inside of the lining.

Sound familiar?

The Big Bag bug has bit women nationwide. I think it started with the infamous “hobo”, but I can’t be sure. The trend has certainly evolved. Yesterday, I found myself looking interestedly at a purse that was really nothing more than a demoted suitcase. Toting around an extra pair of shoes, or two, comes in handy sometimes.

There’s something innately comforting in knowing that you’ll always have what you need, even if you are carrying a perpetual 20-pound load on your shoulder.

Today however, I realized that I might want to think about carrying something a little more crowd-friendly. Having a duffel bag under your arm is not exactly practical when you are trying to maneuver through the rush-hour swarm of people on the 5 o’clock train, or standing in the crush of the beautiful people outside the hottest club.

I started to become annoyed with my bag’s oversized-ness, and the continual “excuse me’s” necessary to avoid knocking an innocent bystander off his unsuspecting feet. So I dug out one of the small shoulderbags I had used back in the 90s. As I sat trying to figure out how to fit both the hand lotion and the hand sanitizer without breaking the zipper, I recognized the futility of the effort and gave up, stuffing the new tiny bag, hand sanitizer and all, into the well-worn recesses of the old one.

Apparently, they have not found the cure for Big Bag syndrome. I will gladly keep on suffering. Are you infected?

[Photo courtesy of People.com]

This is not a weekend.

This is a Wednesday night.

It seems the time has come to prune some extraneous leaves on the branches of my social tree. My phonebook now includes some names to which I cannot even match the slightest hint of a face.

I have now reached the stage where I can answer the question, “So what are you up to tonight?” with, “Oh nothing,” and invariably end up somewhere loud at three in the morning stumbling into a dirty bathroom and incessantly repeating the line that never fails to impress: “I have work in the morning! I can’t believe that I am out doing this!”

Someone always calls at the last minute with something just a little too exciting for me to pass up and stay responsibly home on the couch. It’s rarely the same person two nights in a row.

I don’t even have time for myself anymore. My yoga DVD’s are gathering dust in front of the TV. My library books are a week overdue because I refuse to return then until I’ve finished reading them, but I just can’t seem to find a corner in my schedule to curl up with one. I’m too busy tossing clothes out of my closet getting ready to go to someone else’s birthday party.

My little black book is more like a little black binder by now.

The dishes are piling up in the sink. The clothes are piling up on the floor. My list of things to do is piling up in my mind.

It’s not that I don’t love to go out. I do. It’s not that I don’t love seeing these people. I do. The problem is that there are just too many people to see and so little time in which to see them. I don’t even think this is healthy anymore.

At which point do we just have too many friends? Acquaintances? What are we even calling them these days? You’d think with all the little booklets by Hallmark we’d know what a friend is by now.

And how to decide which “friends” to hang out with and which ones to let go of? Is it even moral to choose between people like that?

The upshot of all this is that if I ever need anything, I’ll be able to make more than one phone call.

Alright, you’ve just arrived in a new city, eager to explore all it has to offer and excited for classes to begin. Making friends should be easy, right? Well, maybe not…

As I mentioned before, I arrived in Dublin well before my classes started, so I had to wait a few weeks to meet the people in my program. I assumed I’d meet people in my dorm, but I soon realized that a) my dorm only had 12 single rooms and b) no one had moved in yet. Damn. One morning I heard signs on life on my floor, so I went into the communal kitchen to have a look. There I met Colin, who immediately informed me that he knew everything about our school because he went there for undergrad and his masters and now his PhD, and his dad was some important dean. He talked my ear off for an hour, including as many details as possible (including the fact that he had JUST moved out of his parents house…shocking!), until I finally managed to excuse myself. Good lord.

When I finally got my student ID card, I tried meeting new people at the computer lab. Strike two! I was baffled by the amount of students in the labs typing away at a furious pace, as if studying for exams or writing papers—turns out masters theses are due in October, so the labs were crammed with people knee-deep in research. No one seemed open to socializing.

Finally I figured I’d wait it out until classes started, so I could meet all the interesting people in my program. Even that, however, proved difficult. Turns out most of the people in my program had come straight from undergrad, so they already had friends on campus. I found myself naturally gravitating towards the handful of other Americans, which is what I had wanted to avoid—I’m in Ireland, I should be making friends with Irish people! It all seemed rather hopeless—I envisioned myself mostly friendless, sitting alone in pubs and wishing I could call my parents without outrageous international fees.

I eventually realized that I was missing the key element to meeting new people in a new place: patience! You aren’t going to make a ton of best friends right away, and you may find that natives to your country-of-choice already have their social cliques, which can be hard to break into. The best thing I did was participate in as many events as possible. The grad student union had a few social nights at the local pub (where I met my future boyfriend), and some walking tours of campus. I also got a part-time job (more on that later), which helped me make friends (nothing like slave labor for creating bonds!).

Have any hobbies or other extracurricular interests? Pursue them! As an avid yogi, I joined a yoga studio soon after I arrived, so I was able to meet people with a common interest. I also hit up the school’s Fall club fair—it was a bit weird walking around the club tables with all the freshmen (I was 23!), but I sought out the popular tables and ended up joining a society that hosted debates and other interesting lectures, perfect for meeting all sorts of people.

Be outgoing, seek out social opportunities of all sorts, and don’t forget to have fun! In no time you’ll go from new-kid loner to social butterfly.

So lets see if you can answer this one. I’m pretty much a smart girl, so i know what my problem is. The only thing is i am not quite sure if i can ever get rid of it.

I am 22 years old and I have no escape in college. I have decent grades and all…but I think thats it. I have no real friends, so I find myself utterly alone. I’m introverted so theres no chance to just act out in public. Activities by myself are just not appealing (eg.hobbies). Guys are also lost cause, I cannot seem to find one & when I do find one to be friends with, all they want is to get with me.

I find myself accepting this but im not sure i want to. How would i change this? It hurts to be alone.

~Andrea

Dear Andrea,

Girl, I’m gonna be straight with you: That sucks.

Like you said, you already know what the problem is. So, look, that’s a definite step closer.

Let’s deal with this one part at a time, okay?

First we’ve got the trouble making friends. I know you’re introverted, but are there any clubs at school you could join? I mean, not like, something random that you’re going to hate but something you’re really into, a hobby that you say wouldn’t be fun alone (but that would be totally fun with a group of fellow interesteds).

Did you have more friends growing up? Try to ask yourself what’s keeping you from making friends. If it’s just because you’re shy, you might have to suck it up and…well…not be. I know it’s hard to change the kind of things that come to you naturally (introversion, for poignant instance), but if it’s making you unhappy, then it’s something you should work on.

Happiness, in Tuffy’s not-so-humble opinion, is ridiculously hard to obtain. There are a whole buttload of obstacles standing in the way: personal history, self esteem, current situation, etc. etc. etc. But work hard towards (1) understanding what would make you happy and then (2) charting out how you can achieve the things that would make you happy–well, it’s annoying to hear, but they really might help you get there.

Secondly, guys. Oh, guys. Guys guys guys.

Well, guys are always gonna wanna get with you. I’m sorry. It’s unfortunately true.

But look on the bright side–they wanna get with you! You’re attractive, honey. You just have to wait for the right guy to come along. This is a long and painful process, but the right guy will wanna get with you too–but only after he gets to know and love you. And that will happen.

But you have to meet guys if you want to find one. Again, Tuffy sez join a club. Or a group. Or go to some parties (although it may be hard to meet the right kind of guys if they’re keggers).

For both friends and guys, Tuffy has a suggestion for you: make it a goal to speak out more in class and to talk to one fellow student (that you either don’t know or don’t know well) every single day. Before you know it, you’ll have a group of people that (1) you can talk to in class (once you’ve broken the ice, they’ve become casual acquaintances you can talk to much more easily) and (2) may invite you to things where you can both get to know them better and also get to meet even more people. Try it, okay? I think it’ll really help.

Good luck, Andrea! You can totally conquer this. And today is the best day to start.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

(To ask Tuffy Luv a question, shoot her an email at tuffy@collegecandy.com! Because Tuffy sucks at double-checking comments.)

So, it’s been about a month into the semester and you’re suddenly feeling like there’s no light at the end of the social tunnel: no cute boys on your floor or in the apartment next door, no cool new chicks to chat with in your classes.

Now what? Will your whole year end up dull, boring, and steamy romance-free? It’s college lovey, such a thing cannot be!

Sure the guy next door spends more time on his Star Wars video games than he does on his personal hygiene, and yeah, maybe the girls down the hall blast Enrique during your Monday night Bachelor viewing (so not your scene) but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a sucky semester.

There are plenty other places on campus to scope out the cute boys and the fun girls.

The Football Tailgate.

Only the most dedicated party people make it out on a Saturday morning to begin the boozy blur of “School Spirit Maaaaaan”. This is where you will find those looking to have a little (or a lot) of good ol’ F-U-N. Get out there (set your alarm if you have to) and get social. Soon enough you’ll be that hammered girl on the fence with her stomach painted. YES!

Intramural Sports.

Not only do you get to simultaneously battle the bulge that is the dreaded Frosh (or Soph, Junior, Senior) Fifteen but you’ll also get the opportunity to meet some incredible girls via teamwork. With time, practices and games will turn into nights out clubbing and Sunday morning recaps. Plus, you’ll get to watch cute sweaty boys run around pulling flags and making goals. Who doesn’t enjoy that?

There’s plenty of other places to find cool people: join clubs, (I know, cliche, but I swear it’s true), at the gym (yes, you’re allowed to go to pick up boys), an on-campus job (kill two birds with one stone making moola at the same time), or anywhere else that seems promising.

You can do it, don’t lose hope!

If you plan on attending a college anywhere besides New York City, Sol’s tips should be read like the Bible.

For those of us who have been granted the opportunity to spend our four years of academic growth (ha!) in the greatest city in the world, things must be done just a little bit differently.

Things you must do in order to survive in one of the toughest cities in the world:

1. Spend your money buying a good, solid wardrobe before you head off to school (because God knows you can’t afford anything at Bergdorf Goodman).

On a regular college campus, you would be able to sport a pair of sweatpants or even (gasp!) pajamas on a typical day. In New York, your 8:30 class will be chock full of girls in full make-up and carefully calculated outfits. Even the majority of male students will appear as if they have stepped away from a runway show for an hour and a half to attend your Level I Spanish class.

Don’t be that schlumpy girl hiding in the last row. Buy the basics and add trendy accessories when you arrive at school.

2. If your school is anything like mine, you won’t have time to begin papers or projects in advance. If you do have loads of extra time, by all means, get on that! Students in NYC are absorbed with extracurricular activities ranging from internships to part-time jobs to wholely established careers in fields such as dancing or modeling. You’re going to have to learn to juggle in order to learn to keep up with the pack.

3. You would think that in a city populated by millions of people, it would be easy to snag a guy. Think again. While I’m lucky enough to have a boy from back home, I’ve witnessed the horrors my friends have gone through. If you find a decent-looking, semi-funny, mediocre guy — snag him. The male population in NYC colleges is made up of two kinds of guys- guys who like guys and guys who like girls — ALL girls, as in, you’ll be old news by next weekend. My roommates have experienced both phenomenons and the result isn’t pretty. After two years, I only have one friend who has been able to nab a boyfriend in NYC.If you’re single, get ready to hustle.

4. Cafeterias in New York City schools are more of a myth than anything else. They’ll be closed nights, weekends, and holidays. When they are open, there will rarely be anything you want to eat. Before you start chowing down, check the history of your school cafeteria’s health violations. You may be surprised. You may also be inspired to invest in a cookbook.

5. If you’re under 21, you will not get into any classy bars, or even the dumpy ones on most occassions. Don’t waste your time shelling out your hard earned cash for a Fake ID from that sketchy guy in Times Square, either. Any bartender or bouncer with any neural activity knows that your Oregon state ID isn’t real. If a bar accepts this sad piece of plastic, they probably would have allowed you in without it anyway.

If Sol’s “What Not to do at College” didn’t have you running for the hills, I’m sure I’ve pushed you closer to this sentiment. Don’t hate me — it’s for the best.

Go in ready to build a strong backbone and fight your way to the top. As you grow accustomed to New York City’s fast paced, competitive lifestyle, you’ll wonder what you were so scared about in the first place.

So, I got a fake ID. I was lucky enough to inherit an actual old ID of a friend’s after she turned 21. While my friend and I look alike, she is 25 and 5’9. And yet, her ID has worked flawlessly time and time again, even when I don’t wear my seven – inch heels. How does it work, you ask? I follow a few basic steps:

The most important thing when using a fake is to have confidence. Exude it. Embody your fake ID. Relinquish your real identity and go with the card. If it says you’re 5’9 and you’re really 5’3, be 5’9 in spirit. My dad always said, “if you act tall, you are tall.” Apparently that adage rings true for getting into bars, among other things.

Also, travel as lightly as possible. I don’t mean that you should carry a clutch (which you should anyway), just avoid traveling in a large group. Alone or with one or two friends, you’re much less offensive to a bouncer.

It always helps if you’re a girl in the first place, but be a girl – boy scout. Have your fake at the ready. Don’t be afraid to look the bouncer in the eye. Be sincere with your false identity. Smile, nod, say thank you, step aside. And what to do if they take your ID? First of all, if you worry about them taking it, they probably will. So don’t even think about it. But if they do, let it go. It wasn’t meant to be.

Lastly, share the wealth. Once you cross the threshold into legality, pass your ID down to someone less fortunate, along with these guidelines to proliferate good times for all.