A couple of weeks ago, the epic Take My Breath Away came on the radio, to which my friend exclaimed “OMG, the theme song from Clueless! You know at the end where…?”

Though most people alive today would immediately associate this song with Top Gun, the fact that this association with Clueless immediately popped into my friend’s head is just one of the many examples as to how Clueless and Alicia Silverstone defined our early teenage years.

Who wouldn’t have wanted that gorgeous blonde hair, the biggest house on the block, the best wardrobe, the chance to actually be the most popular girl in school, and to end things dating Paul Rudd? Um…AS IF!

While the girls in Cluless certainly had their setbacks, there was never any questions that Cher was going to come out on top. This was the girl who could fix anything, anybody and any wardrobe malfunction. And phrases like “Total Betty” somehow rolled off her tongue effortlessly. While the rest of us could try and imitate Cher, it was impossible; she was one of a kind, and the best that we could do was look to her for some important life lessons.

So, in honor of Alicia Silverstone’s birthday, I would like to offer her a big thank you for teaching me so many valuable lessons as an impressionable teenager. Thank you, Alicia, for teaching me that no matter how poorly you do on a test, your grade is never set in stone. Thank you for teaching me that dorks are totally dateable. And, most importantly, thank you for teaching me that being nice to people is actually important…so long as they aren’t trying to replicate your wardrobe.

Happy Birthday to the girl who unintentionally defined our impressions of Beverly Hills and turn what could have been a run-of-the-mill chick flick into a completely life-defining movie (yes, life-defining. No, this is not a typo…did you not read the first paragraph of this article?)

If you want even more Clueless, click here for facts that I didn’t know about the movie, so you definitely didn’t!

Confession time: I’m a shopaholic. Bags are my weakness. So are boots. I’m obsessed with dark washed jeans and oversize sunglasses and Rachel Bilson’s entire wardrobe.

Needless, to say I take the time to make outfits out of all of these clothes that I acquire. I read magazines and blogs and spend far too much time trying to find the perfect outfit for every occasion. So yes, I am a woman who often worries about her appearance, or at least the appearance of her clothes. And I’m not afraid to admit it, much to the disapproval of the likes of Sandra Bartky.

I first encountered this feminist writer in my Philosophy and Feminism class last semester, when reading her article, Foucault, Femininity, and the Modernization of Patriarchal Power. Bartky discusses the roles men and a male dominated society (i.e.: the patriarchal power), play in the way in which women portray themselves. Women, she claims, feel as though they are constantly being watched by a male power and as a result, we feel it necessary to take part in this “beautification process” society has thrust upon us.

The process of beautification, she claims, is insignificant. It is a practice women take part in only because they feel they have to. Women, Bartky claims, feel as though they must always look perfect, as though they must always strive for the ideal. They are never good enough, but always reaching, always working in an attempt to please that nonexistent gazer. From waxing our eyebrows to straightening our hair, its all for someone else. And by conceding, Bartky explains, the patriarchy remains in control. Men continue to have the power.

Bartky believes that by worrying about our appearance, we’re submitting to someone else’s idea of beauty. She thinks we’re molding ourselves into an ideal that someone else, specifically a man, has put forth as the standard of beauty. She believes that with every swipe of mascara, or splurge on this season’s boots, we are allowing ourselves to be made inferior. We are reinforcing everything feminists have fought against.

I beg to differ.

Now let’s put aside the fact that men feel just as much pressure as women to look a certain way. Let’s put aside the media’s role in all of this. And let’s overlook the fact that there is no one true idea of beauty because all over the world, different cultures and countries have different beauty ideals. Just ask Jessica Simpson.

But like I said, let’s put all that aside. Let’s instead focus on what looking your best can do for you. You’ve seen how much a makeover can change a person. From Clueless to What Not to Wear, it’s a proven fact.  To some, beautification is a means of oppression. But for those who enjoy it, for those who do not feel oppressed by it, who do not claim to be behaving a certain way for anyone other than themselves, is it right to tell them that they are being oppressed? Can women as a group make that decision for women as individuals? And what about personal style? We don’t all walk around in matching outfits. Women make choices about their clothes. They are a means of expression, a way of telling the world who we are. The “beautification process,” as Bartky calls it, does not have to be a means of giving men control, but it can be a way of taking control back.

Statements like “What’s on the outside really does matter” and “You’re judged on your appearance” are generally not met with much support. Because what’s inside does count. If you can’t hold a decent conversation, if you don’t stand out as an individual, if you aren’t a genuine person, what you wear will no longer matter. So those people, who believe that outward appearance is all that matters, are wrong. But I’m not talking about weight or beauty or expensive clothes, or the picture perfect, but entirely unrealistic, image the media plasters all over magazines and billboards. I’m simply talking about dressing to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be.

First impressions are more often than not determined by looks, especially in the post college world. Dressing appropriately for a job interview? That’s important. Not just for women, but for men too. If you’re at a networking event, is your possible employer more likely to chat with the girl in the pinstripe pants or the girl in the sweatpants with their college logo down their right leg? Similarly, the man in a suit is more likely to get the job than the man who shows up to the interview in a t-shirt and jeans.

To an extent, society does dictate the way we dress. Appearances do matter sometimes. But this is not a struggle between male and female power. In fact, it does not have to be a power struggle at all. You should never dress for someone else, or wear something you are not comfortable with. But you should explore the world of fashion and the world of beauty. Find a style that makes you feel comfortable and helps you to stand out in a good way. If it’s all about the power then take that power back and use it to your advantage.

Chewing/Spitting Tobacco:
In the timeless film “Clueless,” Cher explains that drawing attention to your mouth is the number one way to draw the attention of a member of the opposite sex. I would agree, for the most part, unless we’re talking about chewing tobacco. When I see a guy spit that horrific brown goo into an empty Poland Springs bottle, or pack that junk into his lower lip, I want to vomit. If you must give in to your oral fixation, chew some gum or suck on a lollipop. Turquoise Orbit is my favorite, if you’re interested.

Wife beaters and too-tight muscle T’s:
I totally understand that guys work hard in the gym, grunting and groaning and pumping iron until they are ready to pop a blood vessel, and that they are proud to show their goods off. But wearing regular clothing can be equally revealing. Wife beaters belong at the Jersey Shore, or in bed if you don’t feel like hitting the sheets shirtless. And too-tight muscle T’s are just a recipe for bad sweat stains. Steer clear of both.

Unibrows:
If you have one long eyebrow instead of two separate ones, it is time to do something about it. Beware, however, of the overly arched/styled brow, as these are only for girls. And I’m not talking about shaving, so put away the razor unless you want your forehead to be as spiky as your cheeks on the third day. Tweezers are your friend, and wax can be utilized as well, as long as you put yourself in the care of the right individual.

Big chains or any other kind of bling (especially in the ears):
Now I’m not a believer that jewelry is only for women, and I’ll admit that I sometimes find facial and ear piercings sexy if they’re not too obvious. But when enormous (fake) diamond earrings or tacky crosses/nameplates/link-chains make their way into the picture, you’ve gone too far.

Ponytails or hair that falls below your shoulder paired with headbands/scrunchies/bandanas/etc:
This is something that I feel very passionately about. Unless you are David Beckham, Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp (or have their chiseled perfection and generally attractive appearance), keep it short. And this goes for uncontrollable facial hair as well. If it’s long enough to twirl or braid, it’s too long.

Pants that do not fit:
This goes for baggy and saggy bottoms as well as the skinny jeans that we’re seeing on the runways and on the bodies of many male celebrities. Gisele is supposed to wear tight pants – boys are not. This is just a rule. And I cannot imagine that clinging denim is very comfortable in the “upper region,” if you know what I mean.

Prominent themes in tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl included “Change of Heart,” “Tumultuous Backstories,” and “Going on Day-Dates in Lingerie.” Damn, I love this show.

Where shall I begin? Let’s start with the bad and work our way up to the “OMG!” Little J and Agnes had a change of heart, which prompted a fight, an attempted betrayal, and a nutso Agnes lighting the J. Humphrey Designs dresses on fire in an alley. Hey, at least Agnes admitted to being crazy.

Meanwhile, (perhaps the biggest 180 of them all) former ice crotch Eleanor Waldorf falling in love (gasp!) with Cyrus, played by Wallace Shawn, a funny looking little man you may recognize from Sex in the City, Clueless or The Princess Bride. Anyway, of course Blair is not pleased, and sets out to destroy the budding romance.

However, when Cy’s Notebook-esque tale of true love comes out, B. seems to have a change of heart. For half a second. It’s her birthday, and she’ll make her mom cry if she wants to. Just after Eleanor gives Cyrus the boot, Cyndi Lauper enters (yeah, you read right), and tells Blair that her friend Cyrus asked her to perform for her bday bash. Awwww, how sweet. Cue B’s second change of heart for the evening.

Meanwhile, Dan is digging up dirt on the Bass family for his book (something Rufus disagrees with- come on, Rufus, I know you have a conscience, but seriously- this is your kid’s big break), and discovers Bart’s shocking tale of arsony that was swept under the rug just as the Bass empire blossomed.

Not surprising: Dan doesn’t go through with the book, and turns in the manuscript to Bart.

Surprising: Bart reads it, and realizes he’s alienated Chuck all of his life, and has a father-son bonding moment.

Most surprising: the conniving Bass men decide to go to a hockey game together. Yay for family fun day!

Of course, we can’t forget about Serena and her new potential mate, Aaron. They have the cliche artistic shoot make-out session, which is interrupted by one of Aaron’s other “muses.” Serena later crashes one of Aaron’s dates, and chews him out for not being monogamous, though she really had no claim over him to begin with.

Undaunted, Aaron shows up at Serena’s the next day to take her to the puppet theatre in Central Park (the Swedish Cottage Marionette theatre, which is currently showing Peter Pan if anyone wants to have a Gossip-Girl-inspired day date), and Serena is not only swept off her feet (yet again), but decides that pants are unnecessary, and heads out to the cottage in her silk nightie (for the love, Serena, the puppet theatre is family friendly!).

Tonight, it seemed as though all of our favorite GG villains showed a little piece of their heart. How precious. In order to counterbalance, however, the episode left off with Little J. deciding to divorce her parents. We can’t all have happy families, can we?

(Note to Jenny: maybe you should call Nathan Scott for emancipation tips, and ask him how difficult it is to pay your own rent when you’re still in high school.)

Overall, tonight’s ep wasn’t necessarily the most dramatic, but it was still pretty juicy… and next week, we’ll truly count our blessings when GG premieres its annual Thanksgiving episode. Can I drizzle gravy on Chace Crawford?

Ask any self-respecting woman what she looks for in a man, and likely among her responses is “the ability to make me laugh.” Look no further than Paul Rudd, the thirtysomething hunk from such smash hits as Anchorman and Knocked Up. When I wasn’t peeing my pants in the theaters, I was drooling over ol’ Paulie. Personality AND looks? Check, check.

And it’s clear I’m not alone.

While he may be known best for his blockbuster roles in Judd Apatow films, he’s also been featured in such landmark comedies as Clueless (duh!) and on television’s Friends as Phoebe’s husband (she was always my favorite Friends chick…so jealous she snagged Paul before the rest of us!). As such, Paul’s effability has been shown to stand the test of time. What could be better than that? (Editor’s Note: effing him, that’s what.)

Mr. Rudd’s new film, Role Models (co-starring the also-scrumptious Sean William Scott) opens today and looks to be his most promising role yet, since there’s nothing more effable than a funny boy who also takes time to hang with kids. You can join me in the movie theater while I fan myself and laugh to death. Or you can stay home with The Great Gatsby and and your Paul Rudd fantasies.

Any takers?

Once upon a time in late 2006, I really needed a job. I hopped on Craigslist, blindly sent out a couple of resumes, sat back and watched the replies roll in. One such interview opportunity came from Soho’s own Pleats Please by Issey Miyake store. Why would anyone want to wear that many pleats?, I asked myself, unable to shake the image of Alicia Silverstone in Clueless from my head. So I never responded. And now I am regretting it. Not only have I discovered how the high-fashion futuristic feel of tiny knife pleats is about as far as one can get from looking like a “Baby One More Time” video reject; I have also learned that the construction of tightly-pleated fabric allows it to stand up and out in a way that wouldn’t otherwise happen with the same material components! Plus, the brand name is polite! Check out how Miyake’s pieces are made!

I know not everything I write about will be wearable or, mostly, affordable, for most college students, or most people. But, if you’re willing to try, there are probably plenty of look-alikes available at your local thrift shop. I just picked up a metallic blue crumpled/pleated dress at The Vintage Thrift Shop in Flatiron and a to-die-for black pleated scarf from Reminiscence in Chelsea. The aforementioned aren’t even wildly-priced designer vintage spots, but mid-to-low-priced stores, devoid of pretentious waif-like salesgirls to boot. SVA students, I hope you’re listening!

Concept: Weird/romantic fetish wear, a la Secretary

Remember when I implied that George Clooney was hot? Well, my hot old guy allegiance really lies with a man god by the name of James Spader. In 1996′s Crash, Spader played a man strangely turned on by car wrecks. On some serious TV show that I’ve only watched once because I saw his face while channel surfing, he played a very, very naughty lawyer — I think. And in 2002, he starred as Maggie Gyllenhaal’s sadomasochistic boss in critics’ darling Secretary.

A lot of people I know think Maggie Gyllenhaal kind of resembles a Pekingese. I think she is hot, sexy, serious about her craft and one pinchably-adorable mom. In any case, the outfits she wore in Secretary started out as drab (or, like, Chloe Sevigny’s character in Big Love) and, with just a shot of vulgarity, became the most interesting getups I’ve ever seen. Again, obviously, wearing (matte! Please keep it matte and out of the realm of PVC!) latex or a gag bit might be a bit of a distraction from your 11 AM calc lecture, but there are ways to spice up your standard going-out outfit.

What about a pair of seamed stockings (seen on the Secretary movie poster) with an otherwise demure, floaty floral frock, or some extra sharp stilettos with your skinny jeans and cardigan? The trick is to keep most of your look almost granny-sweet, and then to throw ‘em off with one telltale bad girl piece.

Just don’t file any lawsuits if you twist your ankle in those 5-inch pumps.

Movies aren’t always just entertainment, and though these films seemed like harmless teen flicks at the time, I see clearly now that they’ve truly effected my maturation into adulthood. Plus, they’re awesome.

1. CAN’T HARDLY WAIT

To this day, I still have a girl crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt. I mean, who didn’t want to be her when this move came out? Plus, Ethan Embry = adorable and Lauren Ambrose = truly kick ass.

2. SHE’S ALL THAT

Anytime a overly attractive person hits on me, I’m convinced it was a bet.

3. SCREAM

I still sleep with the light on because of this flick. Plus, it was hilarious while also being bloody. Which I think is kind of awesome. Kinda. …Mostly just scary.

4. CRUEL INTENTIONS

Writing in your journal and acting creepy makes even the lamest of folks look ultra cool. You know what also makes you look cool? Practicing girl on girl smooching in FULL VIEW of other people. Oh and FYI, rich kids are f*cked up.

5. DAZED AND CONFUSED

It’s okay to smoke the ganga. Everyone’s doing it. Especially Matthew McConaughey (and when was the last time this guy did something wrong?).

6. BASKETBALL DIARIES

Just kidding, drugs are bad.

7. SAY ANYTHING

“In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel is EPIC. I play it on repeat while daydreaming about becoming Mrs Cusak. Even though he’s like 40-something these days, I’d still hit it.

8. CLUELESS

“Surfing the crimson wave” is still, hands down, the best excuse for anything.

9. AMERICAN PIE

Stay away from horny boys and webcams and band camp. ALSO, it’s okay to be a MILF. …And f*ck a pie.

10. THE BREAKFAST CLUB

Even though we may look different, even the most unlikely characters share similarities. Oh, and Cap’n'Crunch sandwiches are delish.

[Got a fav flick from your young years? Let us hear it!]

I have a list of celebrities I find attractive but maybe shouldn’t admit are attractive. These are not the Justin Timberlakes or David Beckhams, but instead, some questionable characters that I (secretly?) feel deserve some consideration:

Chris Brown. He is 18, and therefore I am allowed to judge him. He can dance. And I love that stupid “Kiss, Kiss” song, something I also am a little embarrassed about. I found his stint on the OC rather ambitious. He is kind of adorable.

Jon Stewart. At only 5’7″, he doesn’t meet my usual height requirement. But he’s hilarious. He’s smart. He played soccer at William and Mary. I love him.

Funny does it for me. Jerry Seinfeld. Maybe I subconsciously think I could be his Elaine, you know, when they dated… fictitiously, on the show…

Steve Carell of the American version of The Office. You may also know him as the 40 Year Old Virgin. I think he’s adorable and can see past both the age and that chest waxing scene.

And while we’re on an Office-themed kick, why not give Britain a shot? Martin Freeman, who plays Tim (the one in love with Dawn) is also adorable, and plays the soft-porn star in Love Actually. If Hugh Grant were less obvious, he too would make the list.

Don Cheadle. I love him in Oceans 11, 12, and 13. And Crash… can’t forget Crash.

John Cusack. I was not a fan of Must Love Dogs. Would marry the High Fidelity version of him, although the top five thing might get on my nerves. I also love a little-known eighties film called Better Off Dead, where he is a skier. If you like terrible movies, you definitely should add it to your Netflix rental list.

Jeremy Piven, a buddy of John Cusack. Such an ass as Ari Gold on Entourage, but I think he’s beautiful. He did an ad campaign for Johnston and Murphy this fall that was fantastic, I walked by it on a regular basis.

I also admit to awkward crushes on Michael Cera and Jason Bateman, and a weakness for Arrested Development. And the kid who plays Murray in Clueless, because I love his justification for shaving his head: “‘Cause I’m keepin’ it real! Cause I’m keepin’ it real!”

Alright, I bared my soul and now the readership knows exactly how big a loser I really am. Which obscure celebs do you think are pretty? It’s okay, we won’t judge.

…Harshly.

Hopefully you took the disappointment like a lady, and used the recap episode as an opportunity to make asinine judgments and predictions as to this cycle’s winner. I know I did!

To recap the recap, so far we’ve said tearful goodbyes to clueless but loveable Mila, forgettable Kimberly (who?), snooty Yale priss Victoria, bikini waxer Janet, and ice queen Ebony. I’m still mourning the loss of Janet, who SO deserved to win, and not just because she pretended to give Tyra a bikini wax during the first episode—but alas, I’ve had to name new favorites, predict my new top 3, and of course, speculate as to why each girl will get kicked off.

My completely unscientific yet completely overthought conclusions about the girls still in the running:

Ambreal: Will likely do well in the next photoshoot (which from the looks of commercials, is a music video that I pray Tyra won’t be starring in this time), but will meet her downfall a couple of episodes later when her progress stagnates and Tyra makes some trite speech about not wanting this enough.

Bianca: Will coast for a few episodes, not getting called out first and not getting stuck in the bottom two, until she has a bad photoshoot—at which point, words like “potential” will get thrown around a bit before she gets the boot. Ok, fine, I just don’t like her.

Chantal: Will probably be the next to go. I predict awkward dancing in the music video shoot and accusations of being too commercial, and not edgy enough—but then again, who had the bright idea to give her long blonde extensions? Zzzz.

Sarah: She’s not thin enough to be America’s Next Top Model, and not heavy enough to be America’s Next Top (Plus-Size) Model. Outside, in the real world, her weight is normal. So what does that make her? A beautiful girl who can reach the top shelf at the supermaket without standing on her tippy-toes. Oh, and it also makes her eliminated.

Saleisha: I’m guessing she’ll be sent home in the fourth-to-last episode. At that point, the judges will ooh and aah over how all the girls really made progress and what a tough decision it is, and she’ll get sent packing because she can’t walk a tightrope, pose, and act out a monologue at the same time or something.

Top Three:

Jenah: She’ll be the first to go of the top three. She’s just a step below Heather in beauty and a step below Lisa in photoshoot performance, which means Tyra will doubt—say it with me now—just how much she wants this.

Heather: I have no doubt she’ll rock the runway walk-off—but the CoverGirl commercial will be what sends her home. Sorry, Heather fans! I love her too and don’t think she comes off that awkward on each episode, but I foresee problems when it comes to filming the commercial and delivering lines.

Lisa: We have a winner! Or at least I do. She’s been rocking the photoshoots and even the judges have said the other girls are jealous of her performance. And I can already see her face on a CoverGirl ad. If that doesn’t earn her a completely useless modeling contract, what will?

But hey, that’s just me. What are your predictions for the rest of the cycle?

During these warm months, there’s no Public Safety vehicle to worry about, no possibility of getting caught with a cocktail in your dorm room, and no cute guy across the hall to worry about when you wake up the next morning looking and feeling like hell. These summer perks have their downsides, however. Downsides! You say, downsides to complete freedom? Come on, as if! (I’ve decided your inner thoughts sound a lot like Cher in Clueless)

But really, ladies, there are a few things that can put a damper on a sizzling good time. That’s why Summer Do’s and Don’ts is back, freshly coated in SPF 15 and fake tanner, to bring you Summer Do’s and Don’ts: Summer Parties.

Do make sure you know the place and the person who’s throwing this shindig. House parties are much more frequent now, and the amount of people you’ve met in college combined with the amount of people your friends have met usually means you will find yourself at a place that is the very opposite of familiar to you. If you’re going to a friend of a friend’s house or apartment, find out their name and the address of the place. Get your own directions, even if you’re going with people. Be self sufficient and prepared.

Do bring your cell phone. I don’t care if you’d rather not be carrying a purse all night, a cell phone is a must at any and all parties. Especially those parties that take place in the woods or at a stranger’s house.

Don’t put your cell in your back pocket. Phone + back pocket + being tipsy + going pee = phone in the toilet. I’ve lost 2 phones this way (yet never admitted to Verizon why it looks as though the phone has been dunked in water). Learn from my mistake.

Do make your own drink and keep it in your grasp all night. House parties usually mean homemade concoctions, and whether or not you paid a cover, you want to make sure the drink maker isn’t being too stingy—or too generous—with the liquor. No one wants to be that girl Who Got So Wasted She Danced In The Backyard Half Naked, and drinking too much too fast will get you there, or worse. Plus, people can be desperate and creepy. If you take control of your alcohol intake, there’s no way someone can mess with you.

Don’t drink too much. I know, I know, I sound like your mother, but honestly, getting obliterated is never a good way to spend an evening. You act stupid, you sound stupid, and every loser guy within five feet knows what a drunk girl looks like. We could all use a little liquid energy or courage now and then, but getting blasted just plain spells trouble.

Do go with friends—and leave with them. A lot of times, we’ll find our soulmate (or at least soulmate for the night) at these parties, and the temptation to ditch our friends for him or her can be high. Don’t do it! Not only will your friends be annoyed, but a stranger is not always the best person to depend on.

Don’t stay at a party that seems shady. Feel like the cops might show up? Leave. Chances are, those gut feelings are right, and we all know what it feels like to hear the dreaded “Shit! Police!” If you feel weird, just leave quietly. Going home a little early sure beats running through the woods, dodging flashlights and branches like you’re on Law and Order.

Do use the time to meet different people. This isn’t college. No one’s going to be talking about who you talked to or who you smiled at the next day. Have fun, branch out. Talk to that slightly nerdy guy in the corner with the cute smile. If he turns out to be a mouth breather with a horrible sense of humor, you won’t have to see him ever again!

Lastly, and oh so importantly, Don’t drive drunk. Even if you’ve only had a beer or two, and feel fine, don’t get behind the wheel. Call a friend, call your parents, call a taxi, just don’t drive. You might not kill anyone or get into an accident, but getting stopped by the cops and being charged with a DUI sucks. Just ask Lindsay.