This sexperiment involves a pastor and a roof.

Bruno Mars coke possession charges are to be dropped. 

Robert Pattinson and his thong.

New picture of Daniel Craig in the new James Bond movie.

You know you want Zooey Deschanel’s manicure.

Why men are obsessed with breasts.

Should you play hard to get?

7 lies for the perfect weekend.

As if the devastation from the 9.0-magnitude earthquake and ensuing tsunami weren’t enough, Japan continues to deal with threats from a damaged nuclear power plant. Ready for some numbers that will stop you in your tracks? The current death toll stands at 8,100, 12,000 people remain missing and 452,000 have been displaced. These figures, unfortunately, are on the rise. There are a few heart-warming reports coming out, such as the 80-year-old woman and her grandson found yesterday who survived for 9 DAYS (eek!) beneath the rubble of their house, but for the most part headlines remain focused on the nuclear catastrophe.  The Fukushima Dai-ichi nuclear plant lost power following the earthquake, and since then has been releasing radiation into the surrounding area. The government has been working frantically to restore power, but traces of radiation have already been found in Tokyo’s tap water and produce at grocery stores.

The Libyan civil war intensified as pro-government forces clash against the now U.S. military-supported rebels attempting to oust the current leader, Muammar Gadhafi. The revolt started almost exactly a month ago when protesters, inspired by the successful pro-democracy rallies in Egypt, gathered to peacefully rally. In the past week, Gadhafi’s supporters seemed to be gaining strength. On Saturday, however, after what was talked about as a too-long deliberation, the U.S., other members of N.A.T.O and the Arab League took military action. This action came in the form of attacks against Libya’s air defense systems to help enforce a UN-mandated no-fly zone.

Cocaine’s been in the news this week, reportedly found in two places it definitely should not be- a fourth grade classroom and the Kennedy Space Center. On Thursday, a fourth-grade boy brought the illegal substance to school and shared it with four of his classmates. When the kids started to feel sick, their teacher realized what was up and alerted the main office (remember the “main office,” btw?) All the kids are OK and won’t be getting in trouble, but the boy’s parents? Ohhhhh yes. As for the Kennedy Space Center? NASA reports that 4.2 grams of the stuff was found earlier in the month. It’s not the first time either; the drug was also found in a restricted area in early 2010. Guess it’s tough being an astronaut.

A study released this week revealed that for the first time, more Americans get their news online than from newspapers. 46% of people reported sticking to online sources (like this column, maybe?) compared to 40% who still read the newspaper. This week, The New York Times website, which formerly provided its content for free, switched over to a pay model. What does this mean for journalism (and my future career)? Who knows, but it’s interesting, at least.

And in another notable study released this week, more than half of Americans reported supporting same-sex marriage. For the first time in years and years of polls, proponents of same-sex marriage surpassed the halfway mark and reached 53%.  In 2003, that number was all the way down at 36%. I wonder if Lady Gaga had anything to do with this.

Photo of the Week:

JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images

If you had sight of the sky Saturday night, you probably saw the HUMONGOUS looking moon. That was what’s called a “Supermoon,” which is when a full moon is super-close to the Earth. We haven’t had one come so near for 18 years.

Guess Japan isn’t into cokeheads. Sorry Par!

Wait! Is Ashton really cheating?

Obama asks for some divine intervention

Missed Glee? Watch it online now!

Weird celebrity crush

Should she end this relationship?

Never have bad coffee again

Falling in love loses you two friends

How to avoid moving too fast in a relationship

I’m really beginning to become legitimately concerned for Lilo.  As I should.  I remember when Britney Spears was shaving her head and whipping out umbrellas at paparazzi.   I was most certainly not making fun of Britney’s recent endorsement for Candies, or how funny her head was shaped.  I cared for Britney Spears, I wanted the best for her.  There was a piece inside of me that felt bad for her. I wanted to pull her aside, buy her Starbucks and talk it out.  I understand Britney’s situation is a little different than Lilo’s, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t want to reach out to someone that has a problem and wish the best for them.

Therefore, why can’t we feel the same remorse for Lohan?  As much as we want to rip on her, she has a REAL problem.   And as much as we compulsively make fun of her and joke around, letting her out of rehab early was an awful idea.  I learned this in grade school: drugs ain’t no joke and Lindsay got off way to easily. (OK, I didn’t learn that second part in grade school but you get the point.)  Our news outlets say it all, Lohan has been in this position many times before, proving the true seriousness of her addiction.  If Lilo doesn’t get help real soon, she is never going to get better.

Lindsay’s original sentence was 90 days in jail, 90 days in rehab.  Unfortunately for her well being, she was released way too early from both.  Lohan was only in jail for 13 days which isn’t nearly enough time for her to let her consequences sink in.  On top of that, Lohan was allowed to leave on the 23rd day of a 90 day sentence from rehab. I don’t know much about rehab (thank god), but I can say with 100% certainty that 23 days isn’t enough time.  Forgive me for bringing math into this, but maybe if Lohan actually spent 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab, she would successfully do a 180.

Instead, Lindsay is right back where she started. She even took it upon herself to go out partying after admitting she had tested positive not once, but twice for drugs.  If that isn’t some sort of problem, I don’t know what is.  As much as you can loathe her for blaming Hollywood for her problems, she is a human being. And as easy as it is to poke fun at her failing career, the girl really needs help and it is going to take more than an early release from rehab, not enough time in jail and starring in another dark movie to get her back.

Lindsay has a serious problem and it’s time we all start rooting for her to overcome it.

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Two guys, talking next to a weight bench.)

Guy 1: We skied a whole bunch last winter. Do you partake?
Guy 2: Yeah, sometimes. You’re talking about cocaine, right?

(Guy, on the phone. Sounds like he’s getting through a breakup.)

Guy: Thanks for talking about this with me. It’s really hard to talk about sometimes.

(beat)

Hey, well, we’re both single now, right?

(beat)

Well, that was kinda rude.

(Girl, walking a dog in the park, meets a guy.)

Guy: Hey, I like your dog.

Girl: Thanks. He’s Arfken, dog wizard.

(A guy walks through a movie theater row and sits down)

Guy: (whispering loudly) Oh, geez, sorry, I think I knocked your Raisinets over.

Gir: (whispering) That’s fine. Your hair’s covered in nacho cheese.

(Guy, yelling, at a party.)

Guy: And he was like “my grandma just died!” Well, f*** it, I loved my cat twice as much as he loved his stupid grandma!

(Girl, lying over in a restuarant booth.)

Girl 1: My head feels fuzzy. Everything’s fading… the nothingness is all around me.

Girl 2: Shut up. You just ate a cheeseburger.

(Girl and guy walking on a busy main street.)

Guy: Wait, she slept with them?

Girl: Yeah. She’s cheating on us.

Guy: Well, I think we’re breaking up with her. You and me both.

(Two guys, sitting outside the mall on a bench.)

Guy 1: What do you think the world would be like if the oceans were filled with Coca-Cola?

Guy 2: I think it’d probably be about the same.

(In a late-night diner, one girl gets up from her booth.)

Girl: *bends down on one knee* Be mine, Carrie.

Other Girl: It’s a Ring Pop.

Girl: Just like my love for you.

There’s something in the air in Madrid.

How to stress less.

WTF happened on the Lost finale!?

Clean those makeup brushes.

I’ll buy whatever Freida Pinto is sellin’.

And this is why I hate chair lifts.

Because everyone needs a hood on their thong…

I don’t know why you’d need to know this, but you can make an omelette in a Ziploc.

Who is the new Surgeon General?

Interview with Leighton Meester.

Is SJP shopping for a bachelorette pad? Say it ain’t so!

Science says: coke makes people annoying and alcohol makes them horny.

OMG. How do I get on that boat?

Foreclosures aren’t bad news for everyone….like skaters.

Amy Winehouse is up to her usual snorting, shooting-up, smoking, swallowing antics, but this time there are others involved besides her and her junkie boyfriend.

A British couple has pleaded guilty to selling Amy (ample amounts?) of cocaine and ecstasy after releasing a video to The Sun newspaper of her smoking crack. Conveniently, when the police raided the couple’s home they were lucky enough to find a list of celebrities they supplied with drugs.

Unfortunately, the list hasn’t been made public so College Candy compiled our own list of the usual suspects. These celebs MAY (or may not) have been on the couple’s druggie list:

Lil’ Wayne – LW once said he was “so high I could eat a star.” We’re guessing he ordered one of everything …

Willy Nelson – A proud spokesperson of the mary jane…check out some other celebs who’ve been caught tokin’…

Whitney Houston – Crack is whack?! I don’t think she really believes that…

Bobby Brown- He’ll have whatever Whitney’s havin’…

Andy Dick- He is definitely huffing something…not quite sure what tho?

Matthew Perry – Could Chandler Bing use some vicoden??

Kate “I’ll have some coke” Moss – and no she doesn’t mean the fizzy beverage…

Lindsey Lohan- …she showed up with Kate

Any other celebs you think were found on this list?

And in more dog news: Katheryn Heigl eats them.

Save money on food (so you have more money for beer).

Good news for vegetarians…or the people who have to live with em.

Ed Westwick just got even hotter.

Who is really winning this election right now?

SJP spends $250 on panty hose!?

Looks like Avril Lavigne is making a comeback..sorta.

Mmmm. Recession sex.…

Students, take control of your hectic schedule.

Does Vanessa Hudgens ever not look totally chic?

Maybe it was born out of desperation (“I have to think of a way to get my coke fix without whipping a vial out of my nappy hair!”), or boredom (“Doing lines gets really old after a few years…”), but however she cooked up this idea doesn’t matter. Because she did.

Winehouse has recently purchased a cotton candy machine which she fills with her tasty coke/candy concoction.

Seriously, we can’t make this stuff up. We just wonder what tasty mixture she’ll think of next: Crack Fries? Ecstasy lollipops? Heroin hamburgers? Horse tranquilizer milkshakes?

Mmmm. Horse tranquilizer milkshakes….

[Photo courtesy of www.ninjadude.com]