Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’m a college sophomore girl and I seem to have a major problem with boys — I am CLUELESS when it comes to them! I just got out of a short relationship (actually my first one) and what it made me realize was I gravitate toward guys who express their interest in me FIRST because I feel unworthy of the guys that I have a crush on (like they’re too good for me or something along that line). Now, I have my eye on a new guy right now, but these questions are mainly for any guy I’m interested in, in the future. But as for this guy, I’ve gotten his number and we’ve talked a few times, one of those times being with my roommate and his roommate, and the talks were all pretty short and “meaningless.” Now first of all, if I just simply want to get to know a guy better, how much is too much as far as texting goes and how much should I go up to his room to talk to him (we’re in the same dorm)? I’m really focused on just getting to know him better before I start to dive into something, if it’s there. BUT when/if I do get to the flirting part, HOW DO I DO THAT? How much is too much?

Sincerely,

Boy-Inept

Dear Boy-Inept,

Honey, I’m gonna be honest with you: I think you’re just chicken. Texting?! OMG. How NOT effective can you be. No! Girl!!! Go to his room once. Ask him if he wants to grab coffee. And THAT’S how it’s done. Confident. Cool. Fun. THAT’S what guys like. And you can so be those things. It’s all about working up the courage. Anyone can do it. So listen up, the rest of youse:

(1) Decide on a day and time you will make your (very casual) move.
(2) An hour before you do it, have a dance party by yourself. Put on your favorite music and dance that shoop out.
(3) A half hour before, get dressed and spray yourself with perfume. No changing.
(4) Five minutes before, look yourself in the eye in a big mirror and say eight times out loud: “I am awesome.”
(5) Go say hi to him and ask him if he wants to grab coffee.

Wow. So easy. You can totally do this.

Because, like, what’s coffee?! Chances are, he wants to hang out with you ANYWAY. But no matter what, it’s a totally tiny commitment. And once you have coffee with him, you’ll know if you’re even interested in trying again. It’s so win-win I could vom.

I’m rooting for you, girl.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Does it feel like October slapped you in the face? I was unaware that time sped up, but apparently it did. You know what this means, don’t you? Midterms are almost here. Campus is about to get chaotic: Freshmen will be flipping out about their first big tests. Sophomores are going to try to act cool in the library and be really noisy. Juniors will curl up in the fetal position as they realize it’s the hardest year. Seniors like me will be banging their heads against the wall because that class was supposed to be easy. Everyone is going to be cranky and sleep deprived. Prescription drug deals will be happening at every bus stop. This is real (college) life.

To help you fight the good fight this semester, we’ve rounded up some of the best and worst ways to help you stay awake while you’re studying:

initiating the gallery...

College students are creatures of habit. We hang out with the same people. Got to the same bars. Buy the same types of clothes. Take the same classes. And you can’t blame us really. We know what we like. We know what works. So why change a good thing, right? Right. But not only does that apply to clothes and classes, it also applies to the kitchen. Because if there is one thing that has been made a college cliche, it’s college food. We’re known for our Red bull and Ramen noodles. But hey we’re creatures of habit, and we like what we like…

Although it may not feel like it (what up gloves in March), but summer is coming. And with summer comes tank tops, short shorts and bikinis. You know you want to start getting in shape for all those beach photos, but you also know you’re not ready to cut out all your favorite snacks. After all, what is life without ice cream or cheese? What is a night out without beer followed by the drunk munchies.

Here are some suggestions on how to make your favorite and most unhealthy foods a little bit healthier. Although it’s not exactly the same, these options are still tasty AND they don’t include that guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach when you wake up the next morning spooning an empty pizza box. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself in June, when you’re feeling totally fabulous in that new string bikini.

You don’t need to give up your favorite junky foods while you’re trying to slim down — just keep these tweaks in mind and you’ll be cutting down on a lot of unwanted calories!

Yes, it’s a coffee so large, I’m not even sure I’ll be able to see over it. But hey, I mean that’s just one con, among endless and endless amounts of pros. You thought Four Loko got you going? Think of what you can do on 31 ounces of iced caramel macchiato!

….No? Can’t think yet? Haven’t hit up Starbucks for your daily caffeine requirement? Don’t worry, we have (twice) and we’ve got 31 things you can do with those 31 ounces:

1. Do an entire semester’s worth of homework in one night.

2. Start your own sorority. You know, build the house from the ground up, petition for recognition from Pan-Hellenic, and initiate new members. You should be done before sunrise.

3. Write out 15 finals in one hour. Just think of all the Blue Books!

4. Save some money on Spring Break! No need for air fare. Just fuel up and fly on over by yourself. Just you know, pack light.

5. Set up your audition packet for The Bachelor. Be sure to include a singing number, a dancing number, your special talent, five photos of yourself, and a video of yourself crying, laughing, expressing your undying devotion for the love of your life, getting into a cat fight, and going absolutely, completely insane. Then, you know, sew six or seven pageant dresses for the cocktail parties.

6. Work on your average WPM (words per minute, yo!). They thought 100+ was good? Psh! You’re up to 1000+! Amateurs.

7. Rotate the earth backwards on its axis. What, did superman think he was special or something?

8. Facebook-stalk everyone on your floor the first night back.

9. Petition for the legalization of Four Loko. After all, look at the benefits of caffeine? It can do WONDERS!

10. Solve that whole global warming problem. A few patches in the ozone layer here, a few patches there, some repositioning of the polar ice caps, and you’re good. You might even have some spare time to grab a muffin to go with that coffee of yours.

11. Finish my senior thesis for me.

12. Pull an all-nighter to start and finish that paper. On second thought, pull an all-monther.

13. Make your own formal dress, sequins and all.

14. Enter one of those “win what’s in your cart after five minutes” supermarket contests. Then use your earnings to solve world hunger. Someone’s got to do it, right?

15. Apply for an after-school job as an auctioneer. Or the spokeswoman for the new, 2011 Micro Machines.

16. Have one of those forbidden parties at your parents’ house…and use the Trenta cup to collect all those empty cans.

17. Train for and run a marathon…in one day.

18. Have the kind of night that would make for a really awesome Morning After story.

19. Graduate a few years early.

20. Start and finish your Christmas shopping early. Like, you know, years in advance, early.

21. Run on over to Hollywood and give Angelia and Johnny a piece of your mind for being so damn sensitive.

22. Grab your boyfriend and start practicing.

23. Start your own pub crawl. Except it wouldn’t be so much a crawl as it would be a marathon. Sip. Shot. Run. Sip. Shot. Run. Anyone? Well, I’m in.

24. Spa night! Makeovers for everyone… ON CAMPUS!

25. Spend a day creating your own reality TV show! Come up with a concept. Hold auditions. Shoot the pilot and send it (or run it) on over to MTV. I’ll be looking out for your new show, College on Caffeine.

26. Spend the first few nights of classes getting your hands on all the syllabi on campus. Create a study guide for each class. Sell them to make some quick cash.

27. Revamp your wardrobe. Go through your clothes, mix and match. Try pairing some different pieces together. Plan out some outfits. For the rest of your life. Find your wedding dress, your formal dress, a few bridesmaid dress ideas for your BFFs, your child’s first Halloween costume…

28. Two words. SPEED DATING!

29. Spend a few hours organizing EVERYTHING. Clothes. Books. Files. Shoes. Trash. Food. Just clean it all up. Oh, so that’s what your floor looks like? You didn’t remember that did you?

30. Start your own nonprofit organization. Who needs Habitat for Humanity? You can build houses for the homeless. And you can do it in one night. By yourself. With your bare hands. Obviously.

31. Take on a few or fifty of our DIY yourself projects.

Oh and when you’re done, take a big-ass nap.

Yup, building snowmen....still fun.

HAPPY OFFICIAL FIRST DAY OF WINTER!

It’s hard to remember when you’re spending half of your day bundling up in the thickest, warmest, heaviest things you own just to walk outside to get the mail, but it’s is the most wonderful time of the yearrrrrrrr! Yes, really. Andy Williams was not lying when he gleefully belted out the season’s staple song back in the 1960s, and his holiday tune still rings true today. Even if it takes my hands a full 7 minutes to warm up after being outside.

Winter is one of the best seasons for a multitude of reasons that I just don’t have enough time (or Redbull) to list. But, because I need to share the gloriousness of this beloved season, I compiled the top 10 reasons why winter beats summer, spring, and fall’s seasonal asses every year.

[Click on any image to view the slideshow.]

No scratch that, I hate it, actually. But what I do like is what that week represents. It’s the beginning of the end. The start of the finish. You’re over the hump. The semester is almost over. You’ve finally reached those last few dreadful weeks. And okay, maybe that doesn’t seem like something to be happy about, maybe you want to pull your hair out right now? Maybe you’re stressed? Sure, but just think, in a couple of weeks it will all be over.

How can you be sure that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel? Here are just a few signs that the semester is almost over.

10. You’ll do anything to avoid your homework. Okay. Time to get serious. You have a lot to get done these less few weeks. Time to buckle down and start working. No distractions. No Facebook. No phones. Reading time. But wait…you have been meaning to reorganize your desk. And your bookshelf. And…you get the idea.

9. You’re staying in instead of going out. Thirsty Thursday? Try thesis Thursday. You have so many papers due, so many pages of reading to get through, so much to get done in such a short amount of time you can’t even think about going out. Well, okay you think about it (and even plan your outfit) but then you don’t go. And you reward yourself for being such a studious student by taking a five minute break to Facebook-stalk. The next thing you know, four hours have gone by and your roommate is stumbling in, ready to tell you all about her great night. The one you missed.  And you still didn’t do you reading. Oops.

8. You can no longer find a seat in the library. It’s not like you’re hanging out in the library all that often, but every once in a while when you need to take a nap write  a paper, you head on over, and you expect there to be seating. But towards the end of the semester? You can’t even find a floor spot in the corner near a plug.

7. Each and every one of those people fit into one of these categories. Go read them. No explanation needed.

6. Facebook statuses start appearing in countdown code. You know, those Facebook statuses that start popping up about a week before the semester ends, listing everything the person needs to get done between now and then. Sort of like, five finals, four papers, three days, two meetings, and one nap until winter break. Not that I’ve ever participated in such a thing. Not at all.

5. You’ve decided it no longer makes sense to do laundry. There’s only a few weeks left of the semester, and your Mom helped you out so much when you were home for Thanksgiving. You’ve got enough undies to get you by. If you just hold off until then, you won’t have to scrounge for change or waste precious moments waiting for your clothes to dry. Mom will be happy to help. And you can make it. Sort of….

Did you just sniff your shirt?

4. You have to use your credit card for your coffee. I don’t live on campus so I don’t have a meal plan. But I do have did have flexicash (you know, like a giftcard for the student coffee shop). It provides me with infinite amounts of caffeine and chocolate chip muffins whenever I need them. Except now. Because I ran out. Just when I need my coffee the most, DAMNIT!!! The other day, I charged change. Yes, change. 89 cents to be exact. For a banana. It’s time for winter break.

3. You’re no longer speaking to your roommate. You two are actually quite close, really. But it’s that kind of close that only works for small periods of time. Not months and months in cramped quarters. And not during such a trying time in your life. Sure, her jokes are cute and funny in October, but now? Now the only thing that makes you laugh is the thought of beating her with a pillow while she sleeps.

2. Professors can’t even be bothered to show up to class. In the past month, my professor has canceled my Senior Seminar more times than I can count. You know it’s bad when a senior’s response to a canceled class is “Again?” followed by a disgruntled groan. I firmly believe that if your professor can’t be even be bothered to make it to class then it’s just time to call it a semester already. We won’t mind, really.

1. You can’t even remember the last time you read for class. I don’t know about you ladies, but once the last few weeks of the semester approach (or basically as soon as I come back from Thanksgiving) I just can’t seem to find it in me to read for class anymore. I mean, the semester is practically over, isn’t it? And you have so many papers to finish up, and final assignments to turn in that those books you won’t need to know anything about (because that class doesn’t have a final) seem less and less important.

Ew. Is it over yet?!

[Check out Jenn's other musings-in-the-form-of-a-list here.]

Somehow you ended up with four 9am classes this semester. WTF? You can barely get up for your kickboxing class at noon on Fridays, and someone expects you to make it to class (ready to learn!?) by 8:50am the rest of the week?

Oh hell no.

You hope your professor doesn’t expect you to look presentable. Hell, he should just be happy you left yourself enough time to brush your teeth. Your morning routine is always the same: you roll out of bed at 8:30, grab the first pair of sweats you can find on the floor, throw your hair into a ponytail and run out of the house. You pop into the campus coffee shop en route to lecture and grab a coffee (“Giant, please!”) and something to munch on (“Give me the butteriest bagel you’ve got back there”).

What? It’s early and you need comfort.

You slide into your seat just as the Power Point appears on the wall in front of you. If it weren’t for the food, you’d probably fall right back to sleep – you’re just so comfortable. When class is over, you go to your next class, or to the library, or home for a nap. Whichever you choose, you sport the sweats for the rest of the day: through the classes, the breaks, the meals…

You spend so much time in your sweatpants during the week, in fact, that when the weekend comes and it is time to wear something that doesn’t say “Pink” across the ass you have trouble getting into them. No, not motivating yourself to get dressed; actually getting into them. After the first few weeks of classes your clothes feel a bit snug but you can still make em work (“I must have shrunk these a bit in the dryer….”). As the semester wears on, however, putting on your going-out-jeans has become a sweaty workout.

When the pants stop moving at your thighs, you begin to pull harder. You grab the belt loops and yank, squeezing your thighs, butt and belly into the denim sausage casing. Then you jump around a bit. Then you lay on the bed and see if that helps. If you finally do get those suckers closed, you start lunging around your room, doing squats, and sitting down to see if the denim gives a little bit.

It does not, but you’ve already tried on every other pair in your closet and these fit the best. You decide they will have to do. You throw on a loose shirt on top (to camoflauge the muffin top), throw back a few more drinks and head out.

Your legs and feet begin to fall asleep at some point in the night due to decreased circulation. You have trouble bending your knees to get up the stairs to exit the bar. Your jeans nearly tear as you sit in the cab. When you finally get home and peel those things off  – and notice the deep red line across your belly – you know you’ve got to do something.

It is then that you vow never to wear sweats to class again; those elastic waistbands are far more forgiving of the donuts, the bagels and the sugary Fraps you fill yourself with on a daily basis. (Note: when sober you also realize that cutting those things out of your diet may be a good idea, too.)

We know how you feel. We’ve all had the sweat pant weight gain before. Just get up for that kickboxing class and you’ll be OK.

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