There’s an app for that.

For what? Well, just about everything these days. From finding the perfect shirt to getting directions to that restaurant you’ve only ever been to once to planning your wedding. There’s an app for it.

And most of the time, I think that’s a good thing. I pride myself on welcoming new technology, embracing these changes and seeing them as good technological advancements, rather than unnecessary complications. But today I just might have to make an exception. Because after spending some time in the app store I’ve made some discoveries that have led me to question not only my love of technology, but my love of humanity.

Have you seen what’s out there? It’s okay if you haven’t. Because I’ve brought it here for you. Partly to inform you, but also so you can commiserate with me. These are the apps our guys are downloading? No wonder they screw up so often!

1. Breastimate. An app that can tell you the bra size of every women in the room. You can either upload a picture, if you’re really curious about an old flame, or take a photo right there on the spot. Just point and click and there you have it. A “breastimated” bra size.

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Yum.

Recently, while busily browsing through YourTango, I came across an enlightening post about the ’7 Traits of Irresistible Men.’ I read it in between wistful sighs with my head in my hands…the irresistible man…mmmm. Before I knew it, I was seeing my ideal dude, tossing his thick tresses around under an exotic waterfall.  Mid-gaze he winked at me as a droplet of water fell from his thick black eyelashes…

Woah sorry, was I writing a post?

Then I got to thinking.  There is so much more dimension to the irresistible elements of a college guy than just those 7, albeit irresistible, traits.  Unfortunately, in college we don’t have waterfalls for our boys to stand in or bright enough bars for them to send us a snappy wink from across the room.  But we do have dive bars, florescent lit libraries, dirty frat houses and lots of cute boys to inhabit them.

So I wanted to add on to the list YourTango constructed, because sometimes ‘collegey’ guy turn-ons are the best of all.  And (lucky for us) we don’t even have to leave our campus quad to find them. Read More »

I can’t explain what it is about Dave Matthews, but millions of college boys fall in love with him year after year. And so, by default, do the girls they date. I’m even pretty sure at about 40% of the country’s universities, you can’t even apply unless you’ve been to or intend to attend a Dave Matthews show, because he’s so “f*ckin unbelievable live.” Right? Riiiight.

I admit, I’ve been. It’s an amazing live show, it really is. That and the contact high you can get on the walk from the parking lot to the amphitheater is sick. But no, boys definitely love the Dave, and when you date one, you learn to love (or tolerate, or pay to see) him too. The odds are not in your favor–you will learn to deal.

I personally was never into Dave Matthews until I dated his stalker, a guy who had been to over 30 shows around the country, owned every album, some memorabilia…you get the idea. He had a man-crush on Dave. So, I tried to appreciate instead of judging him as a little weird (error in judgment number one). I downloaded more Dave than my own iPod could handle, I think at one point a good sixth of my playlist was devoted to DMB. I took it even further and went to a few shows. Which were good, you know, until I attached memories of the guy to them. And then the relationship ended on an incredibly bad note. And I was left with the sappy croonings of Dave Matthews to remind me what a moron I’d been. Never again can I think about seeing him live (which is sooo fun if you tailgate) or throwing on a random mix to fall asleep to.

Dave had to go, and after removing him from my iPod (but not my iTunes, should I lapse), I was safe. Or so I thought. Read More »

Most of the summer before my freshman year of college was spent daydreaming about the tall, brutally hot, fun boyfriend I thought I was destined to meet come September.

I soon found out that this “dream boy” didn’t exist. And after a few disappointing months, I found myself thinking lustfully about certain guys from home. You know, the ones who were slightly more predictable than these frat boys, and–the more I thought about it–way cuter.

Screw Mr. Tall, Brutally Hot and Fun.

As soon as first semester was over, I pounced on the boys I’d once deemed passé. GOOD decision.

So, to the rest of you ladies who didn’t find your dream guy at college, I propose that this winter break, you embrace those boys you grew up with. Been there, done that, you say? Well, just check out my top ten reasons to re-romance (slash fool around with) your boys from home. Read More »

I had a long conversation over the weekend with a recent graduate, who after a recent breakup has decided to fully immerse herself in the dating world. At the moment, she’s dating three different guys whose ages range from 22 to 28, and in her opinion, their bedroom abilities directly correlate to how old they are. This has led her to believe that generally speaking, older equals better, which is a myth that I’ve long tried to dispel.

Girls have always been fascinated by the older guy. It’s as if you feel that because you are supposed to (and generally do) mature both emotionally and physically faster than guys, it entitles you to act superior to guys your age and seek out the more mature older guys.

And this is not a movement solely reserved for college grads. Freshman girls love the juniors and seniors. And some of my older colleagues on this site have discussed being in pursuit of law students and others enrolling in graduate programs. Hell, even most of my high school friends were often obsessed with the guys a couple grades above us. Read More »