A karaoke bar. There. I said it. As much as I like to claim my school has everything I could want and is essentially the perfect college town- I might be stretching the truth just a teeny tiny bit. And I don’t think I’m alone. I’m not sure if there is a perfect college town out there- but if there is one, I pretty sure it would include these ten things.

initiating the gallery...

I’m sure by now everyone has heard about the 7 states considering the legalization of guns on campus. With schools usually being gun free zones this has caused some uproar among students and professors and just about anyone else with a pulse. Those in favor of legalizing firearms on campus say that allowing students and faculty to carry guns on campus will allow them to protect themselves if a shooter (who would now be totally free to tote a gun to school) comes into the building and opens fire.

Those opposed see the irony in the above situation.

The truth is, there are some things that just shouldn’t be allowed on campus. Like guns. And parents. And….

The crazy preacher: You know this guy, the one who stands in the middle of the path where thousands of students flock between breaks. The one who shouts how we are all damned, unless we go to his church? The one who tries to shove Jesus pamphlets into our hands as we evoid him and scurry by as quickly as possible. Honestly, I could do without being told I’m damned on a daily basis.

The professor who gets a little too close: I’ve only experienced this with male professors, but I’m sure there are female professors out there are well. This is the prof who, when asking a question, leans in a little too close for comfort, maybe takes a whiff of your hair. Who doesn’t quite focus on your eyes when you’re talking. Who encourages you to meet him for office hours….at the local bar….on a Saturday.

Mini-skirts and Uggs/shorts and Uggs: Maybe I missed some sort of fashion statement, but if it’s cold enough to warrant shearling boots, it’s too cold to show 99% of your leg and 1% of your lady bits. Can we get Joan Rivers up in here to start handing out fashion citations?

Textbooks heavier than a pound: In the age of Kindles and iPads and even laptops that weigh less than 3 pounds, there’s got to be a way for us to get our learn on without doing irreparable damage to our backs. I came here to get an education, not a hunchback.

Babies: Look, I applaud the many parents who decide to pursue their education to further their careers. Go you! But that doesn’t make it less weird to see babies running through the library, at the local pizza place during my pre-dinner snack time, or being pushed down the street in a stroller as I’m lugging home a 30-pack of Natty Light. Really, it’s just wrong.

Now it’s your turn. What are some things YOU want to see banned from campus?

Take a break, dude. You deserve it!

Part of the reason I write a Weekly Ten is because I’m paying homage to my man David Letterman (seriously, my dad hasn’t ever missed an episode), and partly it’s because I like lists. Particularly lists where I can prattle on about whatever issue I feel is super relevant. Ya know, like how I’m just not that into you or being super fabulously sober.

This week I’ve decided to list the 10 jobs that totally deserve to sleep in past noon on this very special Labor Day. Why is it even called Labor Day? Shouldn’t it be Not-Labor Day? But I digress. Some people deserve a break for all they do/deal with on a daily basis. I don’t have the power to give it to them, but maybe they’ll note my appreciation and hook me up in the future.

So here are the people both on and off campus that totally deserve the holiday and our respect on this last official day of summer.

10. The Pizza Guys
Now, I don’t know if you are on first name basis with your 2 AM pizza man, but I certainly am. Heyyyy, Dimitri! Let me tell you, the guys who work the counter at the hot spot pizza place deserve this day more than anyone. I can’t even fathom the amount of drunk kids that Cappy’s (Northeastern’s pizza joint… only apropos when wasted) deals with. Hopefully they’ll take this day off, enjoy no one vomiting on their counter and maybe indulge in some food that isn’t deep fried.

9. College Janitors
Throwing sawdust and cleaning up vomit? Peeling pizza off dorm hallways? Scrubbing out showers covered in nasty, cheap beer? Please take a beach vaykay. We heart you and all you do for us.

8. Heidi and Spencer
Just take a vacation from the media, for the love of God.

7. The ladies who make the sandwiches in the cafeteria.
Recently, my good friend went to order a sandwich off the menu, but she had a few demands. Here’s how it went down.
Friend: Okay, I see that you have the Hemenway Special Sandwich. Yes, I want that. But can you make it a wrap?
Sandwich Woman Glares
Friend: Thanks… whoa! What are you doing with that mayo? No mayo. No actually, light mayo.
More Glaring
Friend: Can you substitute the ham for low fat turkey?
Sandwich Woman: I MAKE THE SANDWICH!

You totally deserve a Labor-less Day, lady.

6. Any and all taxi drivers
Mostly because my roommate insists that every cabdriver he drunkenly encounters is Ben Bailey and demands that the cabbie: “ASK US A QUESTION! WE’RE IN A CASH CAB!!! WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION? COME OOOOONNNNN BRO!!” I won’t be leaving my bed today, so hopefully they’ll get to enjoy this day off as well.

5. The Health Clinic Nurses
“I totally don’t know how I got these ping pong balls stuck in there…”

4. The Bouncer.
Take this holiday to shave your neckbeard and not listen to Taio Cruz or make calls on “who’s real and who’s not” on their IDs.

3. Campus Security
Take the day to make the types of decisions that you bust students for. Maybe take a trip to the hospital for alcohol poisoning, walk a mile in our shoes. Or, you know, one broken high heel. Hypothetically.

2. The People Who Give Out Parking Tickets.
REALLY?? I was only 60 seconds late to get back to my car. Come on! Screw Labor Day, take a Labor Year.

1. The Dean
Helicopter parents, pompous professors with tenure, students who want A’s (even when they only showed up for a good four days of class) and alumni wondering why oh why the basketball team just can’t quite win the NCAA tournament. Ringleader, take a break from the campus circus and kick back with “The Economist” and a nice glass of wine. Enjoy a Monday without Mommy calling and asking why little Quentin can’t have his very own dorm room with a school-provided humidifier. You most definitely deserve it.

[Yup, this post was originally run in 2009, but these people still deserve a day off. And so do I.]

And maybe a restraining order or two.

But it’s worth it to highlight fresh, unique wardrobe choices that show personality and the courage to wear what you believe in. You think you've got some major style? Know someone else who's always looking ferosh? Think the world needs to see what she can do?  Send us an email with some photos and she could be the next fashionista celebrated right here.]

What is Thompson Rivers University?
Where is Thompson Rivers University?

To tell you the truth, I have no idea. (Without some Wikipedia, of course.) All I know is that a very creative and fashionable girl named Kimberly works that campus like a runway. She recently sent us an email asking that we “expand our [Campus Couture] idea and take a look at a student from Canada!” (So that’s where TRU is!) Little did Kimberly know, we’ve been featuring same Canucks all along, but after looking at her pictures I figured we could add another to the list; those Canadians have some great style.

Kimberly “takes great pride in her clothes” and while I don’t know her from some other hockey lovin’ Canadian, that is obvious in the unique mix of textures, colors and styles she has pulled together here. Way to go, Kimberly. You represent Canada well, girlfriend!

Name: Kimberly Wareing
Year: Freshman
Program: BBA (Bachelor of Business Administration)

1. Describe your personal style.
I always love to dress up! In high school I was named best dressed in my senior year, but I know it’s because I took risks with all my clothes. I wasn’t afraid to stand out. I try to be unique in what I wear and tie in color and odd pieces to make the outfit different. Cardigans are my weakness for sure, but I still love my dresses…

2. Finish this sentence: I can’t leave the house without…
My Liz Clairborne purse, Hurley hat and any boots.

3. What’s your favorite store to shop at?
Urban Behavior and Forever 21.

4. Who has the biggest influence on your style?
Myself mostly, and Sophia Bush/Brooke Davis from One Tree Hill.

5. What’s your favorite trend, past or present?
Tights and big bags!

On Kimberly:
Hat: Hurley
Necklace: Great-Grandma’s
Cardigan: Urban Behavior
Skirt: Off The Wall
Tights: Urban Behavior
Boots: Urban Planet

[A special thanks to Kim and all of our friends to the North for checkin' us out! Oh Canada....]

And maybe a restraining order or two.

But it’s worth it to highlight fresh, unique wardrobe choices that show personality and the courage to wear what you believe in. You know someone who's got great style? Think the world needs to see what she can do?  Send us an email with some photos and she could be the next fashionista celebrated right here.]

The best part about having Meredith as my roommate for the past two years has to be my unlimited access to her wardrobe. I can’t even complain about her taking up the entire closet because it’s always the first place I look when I need something cute to wear out.

Meredith can put together the perfect outfit for any occasion. She works at Ann Taylor, so she’s expert at putting together a professional-but-not-boring outfit for class or a job interview. Despite her college student budget, she can always throw together an elegant ensemble for a swanky dinner party. And when it’s time to have fun, she’s never without a cute/crazy/sexy outfit to party in.

Name: Meredith Wish
Year: Senior
Program: Major: PR/Marketing Communications and Journalism, Minor: Film Studies, English

1) Describe your personal style:
My personal style is the 1800s brought into modern day. I love jackets with details and buttons, puffy skirts, and ruffles. I wear very girly things but I tone it down with a masculine piece, like a jacket, to give it an eccentric look. I like wearing an outfit where I’m almost afraid to walk out the door, but once I do, I rock it. I like to push boundaries.

2) Complete this sentence: I can’t leave my house without…
Knee socks or a headband.

3) What is your favorite store to shop at?
Rugby or Ann Taylor

4) Who or what is the biggest influence on your style?
Gwen Stefani and my friend Cassie

5) What is your favorite trend, past or present?
50s pin-up dresses

On Meredith:
Coat: Rugby
Dress: Flea Market
Socks: H&M
Shoes: Michael Kors
Headband: Aldo Accessories

Dude, where are all the dudes?!

Here’s some food for thought: for every 100 women at American colleges, there are only 77 men. And for every 100 women who graduate from American colleges, only 73 guys manage to snag their Bachelor’s degree.

The college gender gap isn’t a new phenomenon—women first started outnumbering men in 1982—but it is widening by a significant margin every year. I knew that there were statistically more women than men in the world of higher education (and of a much higher caliber), but I had no idea that the discrepancy was so huge. Projections show that enrollment could soon grow closer to a 60/40 ratio, making men even scarcer on campuses than they are already.

I’m really mystified by the extent of the gender gap. Where the hell are all the guys going? Haven’t they heard that college is awesome—an opportunity to open your mind and push your liver to its absolute limit, one last chance to enjoy freedom from responsibility before being unceremoniously thrust headfirst into the real world? (Can you tell I’m a senior?)  And on a more serious note, don’t they know that having a B.A. is pretty much essential if they want to get a good job?

Does the scarcity of dudes mean that a college environment is naturally more suited to girls than guys? The fact that our culture views guy-centric things like football games and wild frat parties as stereotypically “college” activities would seem to contradict this idea, but it’s hard to argue with the numbers.

Either way, one thing’s for certain—I finally have a valid excuse for why I’m single. It’s not that I’m doing something wrong; there just aren’t enough guys to go around! Comforting, right? So all the single ladies, put your hands up: statistics have officially proven that your boyfriend-deficiency isn’t your fault. And everyone knows that statistics don’t lie.

While it’s obvious that there are situations common to all college students whatever campus they may call home, every campus has its own unique traditions. Some, like walking through a certain fountain upon graduation, date back hundreds of years. Others, like puking under a table at the late night Mexican restaurant on the night of your 21st birthday, are simply infamous amongst the student body.

And it is these things that unite students and make us proud to call our specific school home. So this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to show a little school pride and share their university’s eccentricities with the world.

Tell us: what campus “tradition” sets your school apart from the pack?

Ness – Sheridan: You know you go to the biggest art school in Canada when all the guys are either high or gay. Sigh.

Teresa Wu – UCSD:  You know you go to UCSD when it’s hard to find a seat at the library on the third day of school.

Kim – Stanford: You know you go to Stanford when there is a protest for anything and everything.

Lauren H – The New School: You know you go to New School when there’s only one guy in your class and he’s looking for guys too.

Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: You know you go to UC Berkeley when you’ve been kissed by a bum.

Nina – Michigan State University: You know you go to Michigan State University when a half hour’s walk to a party or class is no sweat … it’s actually the norm.

Kari – Florida State: You know you go to Florida State when the sight of Potbelly’s makes your heart flutter, when you refuse to wear anything that pairs orange and blue together (hideous), and when you’ve eaten a slice of pizza bigger than your head from MoMo’s.

Thu – USC: You know you go to USC when you can dorm in a hotel your freshman year (I did!).

Rosie – Duke: You know you go to Duke when your pre-football game tailgate consists of students completely wasted by 9 am, dressed in ridiculous costumes in a parking lot, throwing beer, chilling in kiddie pools, dancing on speakers, and then, after 3 hours of a complete sh*tshow, totally ignoring the football game itself for a nice longggg nap.

Lauren – University of Michigan: You know you go to Michigan when the mere site of an Ohio license plate makes your blood boil. And when you look around for the skinniest person near you at a football game whenever the team scores.

Brittany – University of Richmond: You know you go to University of Richmond when you’ve never seen, only heard of, the UR basketball team and not even the incentive of free pizza can motivate you to go to a game.

Elizabeth – University of Missouri: You know you go to Mizzou when campus tour groups are the most excited to see the Rec Center. Hey, can’t blame ‘em for wanting to see what Sports Illustrated ranked #1 Best College Gym in the nation.

Brianna- Fordham University: You know you go to Fordham (At Lincoln Center) when you wear sweatpants to dorm parties because all the men are looking to hook up with other men.

Charlsie – Hollins University: You know you go to Hollins University when one random day in October, after the first frost, the president cancels classes in honor of Tinker Day. We eat Krispy Kreme donuts and then hike up Tinker Mountain, where we do class skits, class songs, and eat fried chicken. Or if you are too cool for that after first year, you get drunk off of mimosa’s and pass out by noon.

Samantha – UC Santa Barbara: You know you go to UCSB when instead of a football team, you have a soccer team, and instead of tailgating you pregame and throw tortillas onto the field.

Elizabeth – University of Missouri: You know you go to Mizzou when campus tour groups are the most excited to see the Rec Center. Hey, can’t blame ‘em for wanting to see what Sports Illustrated ranked #1 Best College Gym in the nation.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: You know you go to Texas when you’re asked the time and you automatically respond, “It’s ___ o’clock…AND OU STILL SUCKS!”

Mechelle – Florida State: You know you go to Florida State when you play drinking games better than you play football (and own more than one t-shirt with announcing that fact).

Alex K – Lakehead University: You know you go to Lakehead when you’re in line at Tim Horton’s and the guy in front of you has his full fishing gear (rod, hip waders, ETC).

Ricki – University of Michigan: You know you go to Michigan when the Insomnia Cookie Truck is the only thing that will make a drunk person feel better.

Carly – Grinnell: You know you go to Grinnell when you find yourself drunk at a party late on a Friday night… having an intense discussion about philosophy.

Here are ten tips students should heed when battling the Swine Flu.

10.  Let’s take a look on the bright side. Swine flu is giving you a reason to avoid those all-nighters in the library. The best way to stay healthy is to get a good night’s sleep. Exhaustion will weaken your immune system. So if you happen to opt for sleep instead of a problem set, never fear. When you’re teacher asks where your homework is, just say the swine flu ate it.

9. Wash your hands frequently. I never leave the house without a bottle of Purell, and these days I’m getting stingy with sharing it. Hygiene is key. If you can’t take the flu, stay out of the pig’s pen.

8.  If you feel sick, stay home! You’re not going to impress the hottie in your Bio class if you come into Lab looking like death warmed over. You’ll be labeled the Swine-Spreader and there goes your good reputation.  Next thing you know, you’ll be have to eat your lunch with the Mono-Makeout Slut.

7. Speaking of makeout sluts… Now’s a good time to get your urge to kiss under wraps. Kissing may be like a handshake for you, but you’re going to be exchanging more than a hello with this swap of spit. The Swine Flu is sneaky and it’s looking to sow its wild oats. It will wait for you to put your beer goggles on and then it’ll plant a wet and germy one right on your lips. Beware.

6. Contain your cough, for your mother’s sake! This should be obvious. The basic rules of etiquette have preached the hand-over-cough move for years, but now we’ve got to take it seriously. Make your mama proud and swine flu-free!

5. While Mexico may be a popular spring break destination, perhaps you may want to rethink that trip to the Oasis Cancun this year. Mexico + Spring Break debauchery = breeding ground for Swine Flu. Even I can do that math.

4. Got an iPhone? Download the Swine Flu Tracker, created by IntuApps, and successfully avoid areas with high threat levels.  Yes, there’s even an app for that.

3. Retire from beer pong. Winning the game with an around-the-back bounce shot deserves a trophy, not the flu. But that’s what you’ll get when you’re drinking from the same solo cup as 15 people before you. Even if you can’t resist Beirut’s siren call, at least play with water cups and drink from your own beer can. This way you can maintain your frat-star skills and stay healthy at the same time.

2. If things around you are getting dire, and your peers are dropping like…. swine, you might think about investing in this flu-season’s latest fashion. The decorative face mask. Get em’ while they’re hot!

1. Eat an apple a day. Just in case.

If you’ve read any news blogs or even watched a televised newscast in the last week and a half, chances are that you’ve heard the tragic story of Annie Le, the Yale grad student who disappeared ten days ago. Her body was found hidden inside a wall at the building where she worked last Sunday—which was to have been her wedding day. Now a lab technician named Raymond Clark has been charged with Annie’s murder.

This whole saga has been unbelievably upsetting and awful, and our hearts go out to Annie’s family and her fiancé. It’s also spurred a lot of interesting discussion about safety on college campuses—and why the media is curiously fascinated by crimes that occur on Ivy League campuses.

Slate editor Jack Shafer observes that the New York Times has written five stories about Annie’s case so far, while the Boston Globe has run at least six. A quick search shows that CNN.com has a whopping 14 stories about the murder. The media frenzy has been so… well, frenzied that an NBC producer was trampled when journalists and camera-people rushed to speak to a New Haven police spokesman on Tuesday.

This isn’t surprising—as Shafer also notes, “The press has long thrived on Harvard and Yale murder.” Any crime or scandal that happens at one of those two schools is basically guaranteed to be exhaustively analyzed by major media outlets—think of the 1998 murder of Yale senior Suzanne Jovin or even the 2006 plagiarism accusations lobbed at Harvard student Kaavya Viswanathan.

But the same rule doesn’t apply to state schools and small colleges, where criminal incidents have to be pretty major to get national coverage. Why? Well, simply put, elite newspapers and magazines care about what’s happening at elite universities. And less erudite periodicals (read: trashy tabloids) love to sink their teeth into stories that prove bad things can happen even at America’s snootiest, most prestigious schools.

There are tons of problems with this model—it promotes the idea that students at schools with lower acceptance rates somehow matter more than everyone else, and it heaps unwarranted scrutiny on people who definitely have bigger things to worry about.

Even so, maybe the continual coverage of Annie’s death will lead to some good if it spurs female college students to start making a greater effort to stay safe. Yes, Annie was probably killed by someone who knew her inside of a supposedly secure building, but what happened to her can still serve as a reminder that all of us regularly engage in risky behavior: going out and getting too drunk, taking public transportation or walking home late at night, even forgetting to lock the door or leaving the window open if your room is on a low floor. Ironically enough, in February, Annie wrote a piece entitled “Crime and Safety in New Haven” for a Yale magazine. We’d all do well to try following her advice.

Ahhhh. How good it feels to be back.

There are tons of impromptu house parties happening all over campus. You and the roommates decide to party hop so you slip into something white (to show off your tan) yet casual (you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard), pair it with some Havaianas (but which color?!) and hit the town stumbling.

Besides your roommates and the random road trip you took with some friends mid-summer (when you couldn’t handle your mother’s nagging about unpacking your suitcases any longer), you haven’t seen anyone since last semester. When you were pulling your hair out at the library at 3am trying to churn out that last paper before sweet, sweet freedom.

Let’s just say, it wasn’t your finest moment.

But that’s all changed and you wanna show. it. off; you’re more tan, more toned and more experienced (that summer fling taught you a few things). Most of all, though, you’re just really excited to be back and see everyone.

You mosey up to the first party and it goes something like this:

[Loud, shrieking screams]
Girls come running.
“OhMyGod OhMyGod OhMyGod!! HOW ARE YOU!?”
You are swooped up in a group hug. Someone behind you spills beer down your back.

“Hey! I’m good! How was your summer? When did you get back? How’s the boy? Any cute boys here?  Where’s the keg? We should totally do lunch this week!”

You stand in a circle with the girls for a bit, drinking, catching up. Soon more people pour into the party. And it goes something like this:

[Screams]
Girls come running.
“OhMyGod OhMyGod OhMyGod!! HOW ARE YOU!? You look so skinny!” You are swooped up in a group hug. This time, though, someone drops cigarette ash on your arm.

“Hey! I’m good! How was your summer?
When did you get back?
How’s the boy?
Where are you living?
Oh, totally. We should totally do lunch.”

After 4 more reunions just like this, your roommates decide they’ve had enough of this little soiree and want to move onto the next one. You’ve got tons more people to see, after all.

You say your goodbyes (“Yes, lunch, def.”), and walk to the next party. Drunk.
And it goes something like this:

[Piercing Screams]
Girls come running. One falls.
“OhMyGod OhMyGod OhMyGod!! HOW ARE YOU!? You look so skinny! OMG let me get you a drink.” You are swooped up in a sloppy group hug. And dragged to the ground.

Laughing, you run through the obligatory questions (Summer job? Where you living? What classes are you taking?), and then quickly move into drunken expressions of love.

“Uggggh I missed you so much this summer,” your Econ 101 friend exclaims. She looks over at random guy by the keg. “I love this girl. Look at her tan. And those skinny arms! Where’s the rest of you? When are we gonna hang out. I miss yooooou.”

The rest of the night looks the same. Lots of hugs. Lots of love. By the time you are home (covered in beer with dirty, dirty feet), you’ve got lunch dates with 12 people and dinner plans with 18 more. Only half of which you actually plan on attending.

Yeah, we’ve all been there. Well, minus the Jeremiah Weed part. Where was that stuff last year!?