I’m not sure if you know this or not, but this week is Teacher Appreciation Week, and today is National Teachers’ Day. So I thought I’d start my day off (I know. I’m a late sleeper. That’s why you never see me in your 8 a.m. classes) by taking a moment to appreciate you. All of you. For all that you do. Because even though it may sometimes seems like we’ve forgotten it, college students (most of them anyway) do realize that the point of college is to get an education, and that would be pretty difficult without professors.

But I want to thank you for more than just choosing to be college professors; I want to thank you for being really great college professors. Looking back on my four years of college I’ve had some not-so-great professors, but I’ve also had some amazing ones that opened my mind up to thoughts and ideas and novels and topics I never would have considered before. They cared enough to inspire their students. And that’s worth thanking them for.

Teaching is a job. I get that. And as teachers you’re not obligated to do anything more than show up to class (most days) and  give us a grade at the end of the semester (and there are some professors that can’t even handle that). But a lot of you do so much more than that. You go above and beyond what is expected of you. You make class interesting. You make class educational.  And you make class worth attending.

So thank you.

Thank you for all that you do for us. And I do mean, all that you do.

Thank you for not conducting a class straight out of the textbook, for allowing for equal parts lecture and discussion, for assigning a reasonable workload. Thank you for letting it go those days you saw me pull out my cell phone to send a quick text during class, or the days I brought my laptop to class and the only thing I was taking notes on was my Facebook feed. Thank you for not being the professor who schedules a big test the day we come back from Spring Break (or for being that professor but yielding when we begged).

Thanks for staying after class to talk about my big paper with me. Thank you for understanding that there are some days when I’m feeling fare too overwhelmed. Thank you for treating me like an equal. Thank you for extending your office hours so you’d be able to meet with everyone in class. Thank you for letting us out early every once in a while, and for canceling class during those crazy snow storms. Thank you for the study guides and the syllabi and the e-mail reminders, and even for the tests that I hated but really did help me learn my stuff.

But mostly  thank you for being the kind of  teachers who care, not just about academics or our experience with academics, but about us in general.

Sincerely,
A grateful, graduating, college senior

Well, their great advice has inspired me to give a little advice of my own. Less about choosing a college, and more about the things you should remember once you get there, about how to bridge that gap between college and the real world, and how to make the most of your opportunities while you still have them.

I mean it’s not all boys, beer, and parties (even though those are important too), so here are a few things I wish I knew when I was a mere freshman.

1. You’ll change your major at least once. Everyone always told me this, but I would just shake my head at them and laugh. Not me, I knew what I wanted to major in. I loved to read and to write. I was going to be an English major. But even I eventually had a moment of doubt. The entire second semester of my freshman year into the summer before my sophomore I was convinced I would be changing my major to information systems. That seemed like a far more practical choice with better options for post-grad jobs. Granted I eventually realized I was not made to be an information systems major and found my way back to English (and later, Philosophy) but I was so concerned with trying to pick a major that I didn’t even realize that…

2. What you get your degree in may not necessarily be the field you work in. It’s the truth. Your major does not necessarily have to dictate what you do with your life so much as it explains what you enjoy and what skill sets you will have post graduation.  Granted, pre-med students more often than not will probably go on to become doctors and psychology majors will probably continue their research in graduate schools, but history majors can become politicians or writers or lawyers. I mean, philosophy majors don’t necessarily become…philosophers, right? No, trust me, they don’t. 

3. The humanities are actually pretty applicable to real life. The humanities (English, Philosophy, History) tend to get a bad reputation these days. Because there’s no set post-college career path humanities majors are accused of being lazy, impractical, and unwilling to grow up. Sure, we spend our time reading and discussing and analyzing and researching about things that have already happened, things that have only happened in books, and thinks that will never happen, but all that reading and discussing, all those skills we develop actually come in handy later on in life. It took me a while, but eventually I learned how to spin the skills of an English and Philosophy major to work for just about any job. I mean, what job description these days doesn’t ask for excellent analytical skills, great communication skills, and the ability to work well with others, right?

4. Your advisor can help you. This one may seem like a no brainer, but not nearly enough people utilize their college advisors, and I certainly didn’t during my first few years. These people are there to do more than tell you what classes you need to take in order to graduate on time. They’re there to help you figure out what you want to do with your life. Have something in mind? Ask for their opinions? If they can’t help you, they’ll probably be able to tell you who can, and tell you what you need to do to make it happen. They have connections, and they want to use them to help you, so let them.

5. Get as many internships as possible. The best way to determine whether or not a certain job is right for you is to do that job, and an internship is the perfect way to try it out while you’re still in college. Internships are great because they give you some real life experience, allow you to put all those skills (directly related or not) to good use, and sometimes (if you’re lucky enough to intern for CollegeCandy) they’re actually a lot of fun. Internships allow you to further develop your skills, build up your resume, and test drive a few post-grad options. So do one, do four, do forty, and make the most of all the options available to you as a college girl.

OK, now it’s your turn: Looking back on your college experience, what are some things you wish you knew way back when?

You walk into “The Application of Platonic and Hegelian Ethics to Business” (It’s exhausting just saying the name, isn’t it?), an extra credit symposium, take your seat between the girl who raises her hand every five seconds and the guy who comes to class only to fall asleep, pull out your books and suppress a yawn. You’re exhausted, having gotten no sleep after a late night Teen Mom marathon and barely made it to class on time.  You are in no mood to listen to lectures today. But you need the extra credit so here you are. And there your professor is, walking into class, putting down his bag, writing on the board, and then…calling in the strippers?

Yes, I said strippers. And I meant it.

This was not an exercise to make sure you were paying attention. This is reality, at least it was for the students of Jack Rapport, and assistant professor at La Salle University, who claims he was simply trying to  enrich his teaching by using real life application. And getting his students lap dances? Sure, just like the f**ksaws guy, right?

What is wrong with the world? Have all of these professors gone mad? Are these their attempts to gain media attention, be the cool teacher, or just get their students to like them? Because I hate to break it to ya, while I’m sure Rapport has given his students a great story, I don’t think this stint will win him any professor of the year awards. It’s fun in the moment, but that sort of thing won’t help students in the long run. This certainly wouldn’t get a guy on my professor of the year list.

But you know what would? A few things a whole lot easier to pull off than that, like:

1. Understanding that there’s more to college than academia.

2. Deciding not to make things difficult just because you can.

3.  Showing up for office hours.

4. Actually caring about whether or not I understand and/or show an interest in what you’re teaching.

5. Not assigning papers/test/presentations that are due the first day back from break.

6. Being willing to work with me instead of against me.

7. Not making it all about that one test or paper, or all about the participation and attendance, but about all of it.

8. Genuinely enjoying your job.

9. Not assigning busy work but rather work that actually helps.

10.  Letting us out of class early every once in a while.

What do you think, ladies? Do sex toys and strippers warrant a professor of the year award, or do you have less extreme (and obvious, and desperate) criteria?

No. It’s most definitely not.

So we thought we’d help College Board and all those other important SAT people out by offering them a few alternative SAT questions. Real life questions, the kind of questions that college students may encounter on any give college day…

1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…

(A) Four (B) Floor (C) Bed (D) Death

2. Beer goggles is a commonly used college expression. Explain the meaning of this phrase and then use it in a sentence.

3. A walk of shame is:

(A) Walking into class after said class has started (B) Walking home during the early hours of the morning in last night’s clothes after spending said night in with a guy (C) Tripping while walking in high heels

4. A steak dinner is to real life as ____ is to college life.

(A) cafeteria food (B) Ramen noodles (C) Chef Boyardee

5. Finals week will most likely be spent:

(A) in the library (B) studying (C) on Facebook (D) Both A and C

6.  In college your dating life changes. It’s far less likely that a guy asks you to hang out after class or go to a football game with him, and far more likely that he propositions you at a party. But there is an alternative. Explain the concepts of friends with benefits. Then discuss the pros and cons of such an agreement.

7. Your roommate asks to borrow your favorite sweater. Not only is it too small for her, but she also has a habit of returning items she borrows unwashed. Explain how to get out of such a situation without starting a roommate war.

8. Name six of CollegeCandy’s ten ways to drink a beer.

9. The best reason to drop a class is:

(A) It’s at 7 a.m. (B) The professor has terrible reviews (C) It’s on a Friday (D) All of the above

10.  Name some college stereotypes. Which will you be? Why?

It’s a Friday morning. Your alarm goes off for the tenth time. You look at the clock and realize you’ve hit the snooze button well into the first five minutes of your ever dreaded Friday morning class, which you’re only taking because it was the only thing open when you were finally able to register. You grab your shoes and your books, spend ten minutes in line for coffee — because, yeah, it’s necessary — and finally sneak into a seat at the back of the class just in time to hear your professor ask that you send your assignments forward.

Assignments?  What assignments? You think, you think, you flip threw your notes, and then finally, in the bottom corner of the page next to your sunflower doodle is your homework assignment. The one you totally didn’t do. Now what? Well, now you need a way to get out of handing it in today. Now you need an extension.  Now you need a really good excuse.

So be sure not to use one of these…

1. The dog ate it. The oldest excuse in the book. Teachers can see this one coming from a mile away. But it’s particularly difficult to pull off in college because more likely than not, you’re not allowed to have pets in the dorm rooms. So even if your professor does, on the slimmest of chances, believe you then you’ll be dealing with some much bigger issues.

2. My printer stopped working. Back in my high school days, I’ve actually seen this one work a few times. It’s plausible, direct, and clearly implies that the homework is done, but you just couldn’t get that paper printed in time. But that was all before the entire world went online. Now, not only would you have been able to send it to a friend to print, but you could also send it directly to the teacher. And they will ask you to — believe me, they will ask you to.

3. I know I had it in here…where could it have gone? Feigning ignorance as to where your homework has disappeared to never really works with professors. It’s like the academic version of telling your parents you’re “holding those cigarettes for someone else!” They just raise their eyebrows at you and give you that look like, “really, your assignment just up and vanished into thin air? How odd.” Look as shocked and confused as you want to, but chances are your professors will know what’s what.

4. My insert-obscure-family-member-here died. Not only is this just plain horrible (and really terrible karma), but you can actually get caught on this. And then you’d be the person who didn’t just not turn in their homework, but the one who killed off a family member in the process. How would you get caught, you ask? Well, your professor might ask to see a death certificate or something else to prove that said family member, whose name you totally made up on the spot, actually died. True story: My professor actually asked to see a death certificate when a girl skipped a few classes after losing a family member. Now, she was telling the truth, but you aren’t. And won’t that be uncomfortable….

5. I’m in love with you. I’m not going to lie, I was watching reruns of Friends, the later years, and it was the episode when Ross’s student pretends to be in love with him to get out of a failing grade on his midterm. He claimed he was so preoccupied with his love for his professor that he just couldn’t concentrate on taking his test. As first I thought that was brilliant. “Next time I need an extension on an assignment I’ll just pretend that  I’m in love with the  guy, tell him I spend all my time thinking about him, and that’s why I never get anything done on time!” But as the episode went on, I realized 1) that it’s a TV show and 2) that this one can get very bad very quickly…

6.  It’s against my religion to do homework on weekends. Granted, for some people, in some situations, sometimes, this is a completely legitimate excuse. But not for a student who doesn’t want to do their reading or turn in their latest paper. I mean, what religion is anti-homework? If such a thing actually exists please let me know. I’d be all over it.

7. I didn’t know we had homework. When was that assigned? Everyone’s favorite excuse. Simply pretend like you were never given the assignment to begin with, like you had no idea you were actually supposed to do this. (And you actually might not even remember.) Was this even mentioned in class, you’ll say? (It was.) When were we given this assignment? (Two weeks ago.) Shouldn’t you have made sure we were all aware of these due dates? Now here’s why this excuse will never work. You professor will look at you, smile, and say “It’s right there on your syllabus with all of your other assignments and due dates.” Oh…right.

Don’t you miss the days when assignments were given one at a time and teachers didn’t realize the powers of the internet? It made things so much easier.

The following post is written by Aaron Johnson from University of North Texas, one of our many friends at Uloop, a student powered marketplace. Read more great posts in their blog.

With college classes well underway, many, myself included, look to the ever-daunting decision of picking a major. Do I want business? Engineering? Journalism? Art? A foreign language? What does this do for me, anyway? What if I hate it?

Academic advisors kept asking me what I liked to do, and my reply continued to be: everything. While there were a few obvious things (most involving too much math) I knew I didn’t want to do, there were very few things I couldn’t see myself doing on the long list of majors they displayed for us.

As I continued to go to these advising sessions, I slowly began to narrow my choices down to a few. I don’t want to do something just because I’d make money; I want to do something I enjoy, or at least tolerate. I want to learn about it before I choose something. Thus, I continued to take exploratory classes.

As you look for what you’d like to choose in a major, don’t settle for something simply because you could see yourself doing it, or you think you’d make bank doing it. All too often you see people returning to college because their first go-round left them getting lots of money, but miserable, as they couldn’t stand the career path they had chosen.

You don’t have to officially declare a major until you have finished up all of your perspective university’s core curriculum. At UNT, as is common with most universities, you’ll likely use the first two years of your college career to fill your brain with core classes that everyone has to take regardless of their major.

So, what’s my advice for upcoming and undecided college students? Take your time. You don’t have to decide right away. If you’re not completely assured in a decision for your major, do what I like to call major-shopping. Experiment with things you think you could see yourself doing, and even those that you aren’t so sure about, to get a well-rounded viewpoint. Find what you’re passionate about and strive towards it.

Some may come into college already knowing that they are passionate about something that may not necessarily yield a high-success rate, and are discouraged from it by the people and advisers that these students have come to respect. Go for it! When you know what you’re passionate about, stick with it, hone in your skills and work hard! Nothing says you can’t be what you want to be just because those telling you not to decided to discard their passions.

In the meantime, don’t stress. College is a time to enjoy the little things and your first experience of freedom. Find out what works for you and chase it! There’s little else to it than that.

We’ve teamed up with our favorite organizing guru Peter Walsh and OfficeMax to give one lucky CollegeCandy fan an entirely new workspace. As in a new desk, message board, file tray, cord management station, portable inbox station, expanding files, writing board, notebooks, letter tray, ottoman with hanging files inside, and more!

Yeah it’s a lot — I’m out of breath just typing it!

Last week we invited people to upload their messiest desk pictures to our Facebook fan page to prove to us why they deserved to win this awesome prize. And even though our desks are filled with old wrappers, crumb-filled keyboards, and coffee stains, you guys managed to out-do us. We’ve chosen the 5 MESSIEST desks from all the entries and now we’re asking you to help us pick a winner by voting for the person who NEEDS the new workspace the most.

Check out the pictures below, then place your vote at the bottom! The contest ends this Friday, February 4th, so don’t forget to vote!

Angelica Says: "HELP! I am in desperate need of a new desk. This one second hand and it's so old there had to holes cut in the back for my power cords. My desk always seems to be doing double duty (vanity, desk, dinning table) and I need somewhere that I can just STUDY. Please help me get a new desk!"

Emily Says: "My desk is a complete and utter disaster! I don't have anywhere to store my stuff, so things are spilling onto the floor and I don't even have room to have a book open and use my computer at the same time!"

Jandrea Says: "My desk just seems to get cluttered...I try and keep it neat and I fail. My fish Charlie doesn't enjoy it too much either. The plate of water colors has been there for a verrrrrry long time."

"This is Katie's chaotic corner: a land of pure imagination, homework, and creativity. Sometimes, Cheerios attack, penguins fall , and I have no room for all of my books. But it's okay-- I dream that one day I will have a desk large enough to hold my homeless pet squirrel."

Megan Says: "My desk is an absolute wreck, and it is so small that there is no room to get anything done on its small surface especially since my computer screen is cracked and I have to have two monitors on the desk which takes up even most of the room. Also, my fish, Othello, doesn't really have anywhere else to be so I have to work around him while doing homework, playing on facebook, doing my hair, or putting on makeup."

[It's a new year meaning it's the perfect time to wipe that slate clean and start anew. And we made it our resolution to help you out. Every Thursday this month we've been bringing you advice from experts on ways to improve yourself and your life.  First we feng shui-ed your rooms to make them happier, more productive places and centered ourselves so we could handle whatever comes our way. Then we got our finances all in order. And now, at long last, it's time for organization expert (seriously, Oprah uses this guy!) Peter Walsh to help us get our desks and lives in order. P.S. He's giving away a MEGA prize, so check that out at the end.]

Does this sound familiar? You’re taking 18 credit hours, involved in extra curriculars, trying to study for exams, accepting social invitations left and right and trying to impress the cute guy in psychology class. You don’t exactly have free time, and well, your desk reflects it. These days, it’s starting to look more like last night’s party scene than an efficient, productive workspace that you started with in August. And I’m guessing the same holds true for your “mobile office,” i.e. your backpack!

You’re not alone! But it’s time to take back control and start the New Year off with less clutter and more organization. The following are a few of my favorite tips and advice for organizing your workspace and mind that will help you maintain your studies, social calendar and sanity throughout the rest of the semester and year.

Here’s what you need to know:

Make a List, Check It Twice
When writing a to-do list, group similar tasks together such as finishing assignments or running errands to increase efficiency. Avoid getting overwhelmed by breaking it into small, manageable tasks. Write to-dos on individual sticky notes and put them on a wall calendar. After classes, review your checklist and cross off completed items. Move any pending items to a fresh list for tomorrow.

Organize the Paper Trail
Deal with new papers first, period. No matter how high the old piles are, deal with new arrivals immediately. Once you are faithfully dealing with new papers, such as bills and homework assignments, begin organizing old ones into your new filing system. About that….

File It Away
Sure, you probably don’t have room in your dorm or apartment for a big filing cabinet, but don’t worry, expanding files work great too! Name your file folders with nouns, using ones that first pop into your mind first. Do not create a label for miscellaneous items! If something is worth hanging onto, it’s worth creating a specific label.

Keep It Close
For those papers that you need at arms reach on a regular basis, create a filing system that keeps them from taking over your precious desktop “real estate.” One way to do this is by using a stepped desktop organizer that enables you to file papers in labeled folders and place them in a neat, easy to navigate system.

Use ONE Calendar
You may have one calendar from school and another from mom and dad, but this can actually lead to more confusion and missed appointments or deadlines. To help you stay on track, combine your calendars into one and color-code like tasks, such as school, social, doctor’s appointments, and so on. You can even carve out time for tasks such as job-hunting or phone calls with mom to ensure the job will get done.

Clean Up Your Inbox
You probably get a ton of emails each day from friends, professors, news outlets, and even shopping reminders from your favorite retailers. To avoid getting sucked into hours of inefficiency reading emails, create folders for each topic and immediately sort messages into an appropriate folder. (GMail is great for this!) Even if you don’t have time to deal with it now, sort it for later action. I also suggest opting out of any newsletters you receive and don’t read. Any opportunities to cut down on your digital clutter will help you stay focused and efficient.

Create a One Stop Message Center
No need to hang lists, phone numbers and reminders all over your wall. Instead, create a one-stop message center with a cork or sticky board. Hang your daily to-do list, impending assignment deadlines and a weekly calendar of events and meetings. This way, you’ll have all your need-to-know information in front of you. You can also add hooks for your keys, purse and backpack and a recharging station for your cell phone, and you’ll never go running around your room trying to find things on your way out the door!

Bottom line: There’s no faster way to inspire an immediate change in attitude than with an uncluttered, clever and pristine workspace. So let’s get to it! 2011 can be the year of organization, and trust me, you’ll have more time to enjoy all the wonderful things about college in and outside of class!

—

So now that you know what you need to be doing to stay organized and clutter-free, Peter’s going to help you do it! Peter and OfficeMax are giving one lucky CollegeCandy reader a total workspace makeover: a new desk, message board, file tray, cord management station, portable inbox station, expanding files, writing board, notebooks, letter tray, ottoman with hanging files inside, and more! I know, that’s a lot, right?

Yes, you get ALL of this!

How do you win?

Easy. Show us that you need Peter’s help by taking a picture of your current workspace. (Note: you must be in the photo to be considered!) Hop on over to our Facebook page and upload it there with one or two sentences telling us why your workspace needs a makeover. On Tuesday, February 1st, we’ll pick 5 entries and put them up on CollegeCandy.com, where our loyal readers (and your friends…when you beg them) will vote on whose space needs the most help. Voting will close on Friday, February 4th at 5pm EST.

Good luck (both in this contest and in organizing your life)!

Peter Walsh is a nationally acclaimed organization expert, former host of TLC’s Clean Sweep, host of Enough Already! on OWN, best-selling author and designer of Peter Walsh you.organized products at OfficeMax.

How, they ask, could parents let their children miss out on such a blissful and beautiful reading experience? And, likewise, how could some children not force their parents to reignite their now-dead imaginations with a bit of wizardry? Some cite the evils and villains the novels include as too harsh for children. Some feel they are above the pre-teen categorized stories.

However, I am here to prove these naysayers wrong. Not only is the Harry Potter series a must-read for any literate human being, it’s also a beacon of literary, religious, and historical references. It challenges readers’ ideas of ethics and provides youngins with information they would otherwise toss-aside if in a different format.

Still unconvinced that Harry Potter isn’t worth a second glance? Or that it shouldn’t be considered lasting literature? Well, just ask these following universities that offer or have offered various interesting and completely awesome courses analyzing J. K. Rowling’s genius series.

Georgetown University
“Knights of Old & Harry Potter” studies the medieval background of the Harry Potter novels, allowing students to fully understand many of the references Rowling makes throughout the series. By bringing older, academically accepted literature into the discussion, the course legitimizes the theory that Harry Potter has much more depth than the typical 12 year-old may assume.

Ohio State University
“Special Topics in Reading Popular Culture: Harry Potter” analyzed Voldemort’s childhood and its role in the novel and on Voldemort’s personality.

Swarthmore College
One of the most popular freshman courses in 2008, “Battling Against Voldemort” combines “literature, composition, and theory.” And, it even gained some attention from MTV.

Tufts University
“Analyzing Harry and his Hogwarts Friends,” this Explorations class (a one-credit course designed by juniors or seniors) kept students from falling asleep by inciting discussions and opinions about the series. Another Tufts U grad, Shawn Klein, also wrote a book titled Harry Potter and Philosophy: If Aristotle Ran Hogwarts. Focusing on the good vs. evil theme that is so prominent throughout the series, the book brings up important philosophical questions with a fun twist

Yale University
Titled “Christian Theology and Harry Potter,” this Yale Divinity school course studied “sin, evil, and resurrection” in the novels. Seventy-nine people showed up to the first class, although there were only 18 available seats. Nothing makes a Christian Theology class less boring than a mob of Potterheads eager to reignite their obsession with Hogwarts – and get academic credit for it.

I’ve been in a grand total of (roughly) 32 college courses during my college career.  I did a little math (with my cell phone calculator because I haven’t taken a math class since high school) and that puts about 960 students in my life.  That’s a lot of a-holes students in a small classroom.

So in honor of National Dunce Day, I wanted to take a moment and highlight those people in class who make our hair stand up on our arms, the muscles in our cheekbones twitch, and our blood pressures rise.

Today is their day. Hopefully they’ll celebrate by taking the day off from school….

The Overachiever: This kid just makes everyone look bad.  Where is she getting all of these intelligent answers?  Is she related to Aristotle?  Is she the professor’s daughter?  Is she wearing a power suit and a tie? Doesn’t she know that doing the reading makes the rest of us look bad? Talk about being selfish.

The A+ Slacker: The kid who doesn’t do anything but still manages to get a great grade on your group project. Seriously, he sits there in class with with his thumb up his butt as you pray to any and all gods that you don’t get stuck in a group with him. But of course you do. Then he misses every group meeting, without even having the courtesy to make up an excuse, and leaves you to do all the work. And when it’s all said and Powerpointed, he walks away with an A… for no effort.

The Momentarily Deaf: This guy asks the token questions the teacher just went over, five times. Not only has the question already been answered, but it’s right on the front page of the syllabus. And written in giant letters on the board. And if that’s not bad enough, homeboy waits until you only have a minute left of class to shoot his hand up and be all like, “wait, so class is at 9 a.m every, single Monday?”

The Eater: Besides the textbooks, notebooks and writing utensils filling up this student’s bag, he’s got a full on Subway feast (that somehow always includes a potent tuna sandwich and extra crunchy chips) and chomps the shiz out of that shiz throughout the entire lecture. When he eventually finishes his three course meal and slurps up every last sip of that Coke, he spends 16 minutes mashing up the wrapper and practicing his non-existent basketball skills by trying to throw it into the garbage across the classroom. Oh, and note, he NEVER offers to share.

The Walking Sinus Infection: While most college students skip class for a mild hangover, Bubble Boy insists on coming to class with the flu. The highly contagious flu. And no, he doesn’t cover his mouth when he sneezes. And yes, he blows his nose every five seconds (investigating the contents thoroughly) and stacks his gooey, dirty tissues on top of his desk for all to see and gag at enjoy.

The Dane Cook: This guy will crack jokes like he’s on stage with a stool and a water bottle.  Every class discussion is a chance for him to test out his new molecular cell stand-up routine. It’s never funny. Like not even this-is-so-awkward-it’s-funny funny. It’s straight up annoying. Class isn’t a Comedy Central audition and you’re not sure why this kid insists on turning your 8 a.m recitation into an audio torture sesh.

The Perpetually Hungover: She comes to every class wearing huge sunglasses and designer sweats, nursing a water bottle, and telling anyone who will listen that she’s soooo hungover. Sure college is all about the party, but why is she constantly hungover on Wednesdays at 3 in the afternoon?