But, good lord–it’s been hard to hang out with my crazy little posse since I’ve graduated. That “girl time” has been diminished into my selfish cravings for “me time” and an ongoing desire to keep canceling plans to relax and watch the entire season of Modern Family alone. In one day. My failure to hang out with my girlfriends is an innocent mistake, but when me and my five college ladies planned a weekend (annual) getaway last weekend, I couldn’t help but get that little tingle of excitement in my veins to spend some time with people that make me feel fresh and fabulous. It’s real people; you can push time away from your clusterf*ck of a schedule, for your friends.

We had a wonderful weekend. We went to a casual wine tasting, explored an apple orchard, took half shots of tequila and played five hours of Scattergories amidst squealing our heads off with laughter. On top of having the best weekend ever, I learned a few things along the way.

1. Not Much as Changed

For some reason, ever since college graduation I feel like my girlfriends and I are “programmed” to drift apart. It’s nothing I plan, it’s just something I expect because I’m an asshole. All of my girlfriends have serious boyfriends. I don’t. At all. I don’t even take care of a goldfish — what are we going to have in common if we don’t even have college in common anymore!?!? But the minute we all jumped in that car to road trip to my friend’s cabin, everything went back together like a 50-piece puzzle. Into a beautiful little zoo photo. Because we are all crazy and I love it.

2. Laughing Gives You Wrinkles, And Clinique Anti-Wrinkle Cream Will Fix It

I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. And I forgot how much I learn from hanging out with my girlfriends. We sit in a gigantic circle and chat about well, everything. What makeup is everyone using? Should I switch my moisturizer? What is best, missionary or doggie style? Is it OK to bitch at your roommate if the dishes aren’t clean and they aren’t yours? Somehow, I had forgotten what a fabulous support system my girls brought to the table. And I never want to let it go.

3. A Little Bit More About Myself

In the end, hanging out with my girlfriends teaches me a lot about myself. Whether it’s because of what we do together (wine tasting: I learned I love a full-bodied cabernet) or if it’s because they actually laugh at all of my dumb jokes (Scattergories: I learned I love a full-bodied weirdo like myself). My girlfriends still give me all of the room I need to be myself.

The moral of my little story is to never rule out a lot of time for your friends-even if you’re a busy freakshow. Because not much changes, they can teach you so much about yourself. So if you haven’t seen them in a while…plan that weekend away and be that love cult that stuck together all throughout college; when I’m pretty sure they saw you at your sloppiest.

And its only right that we return the favor, treat them equally awesome in all areas of friendship. But even with the best of intentions, it’s easy to get sidetracked. Life is busy and staying touch is hard. And scheduling time in for her panic attacks as well as your own can get kind of tricky.

Maybe CollegeCandy can make that a little easier?
Here are five easy ways to be a good friend.

1. Make time to chat. Like I said, life is busy. And whether you and your bestie live down the hall or across the country staying in touch is never easy. But if you don’t know what’s going on in her life how will you know when to start in on rules 2-5. Skype or Facebook message. Text or e-mail. Take a coffee break or do dinner. But make time to chat. She’ll appreciate that you care enough to care about her life.

2. Listen before you speak. It’s important to give advice (see rule number 3) but before you do that you need to know what’s going on. Okay fine, so maybe you know that the guy she’s crying over is so not worth her tears. But she obviously doesn’t think so. Find out why. Don’t speak over her and don’t give your opinion before she’s given hers. Know the situation, understand where she’s coming from, and then…

3. Tell the truth. Now that you know what’s going on, it’s time to talk. Whether she wants to know what you think of the new boy toy or which top to wear to dinner, be honest. It’s a cliché for a reason. She’ll appreciate your candidness, and she’ll know she can trust you. It’s simple, and to the point. It’s something everyone can do, and something everyone should do.

4. Make her laugh. We all have those days. You know, those days that make you want to curl up in a ball under the covers and never come out. And on those days when we feel like nothing is ever going to get better again, and the easiest thing a friend can do is make you realize that isn’t true. So tell a stupid joke. Or share your own embarrassing story. Or share one of ours! Make light of the uncomfortable situation. Just make her laugh. It’s a simple and easy way to make her realize things are going to be okay.

5. Know when to break out the chocolate. Or the chocolate martinis. But that’s just semantics. The point is that sometimes a girl needs to wallow. And you need to let her know its okay to do that. Whether she broke up with her boyfriend, failed a test, or is having family problems, breakout the Ben and Jerry’s and head on over. Watch old movies or listen to cheesy music or Facebook stalk all night long. It won’t solve her problems, but it will make her forget about them for a while.

This isn’t the stuff of brain surgeons. It doesn’t require crazy amounts of money, or endless planning. It  just requires cutting a little time out of your week to be there when she needs you to be. Because really, that’s all a good friend is, don’t you think?

It wouldn’t just be one friend that it would be hard to meet up with, it would be all of my friends.

College isn’t just about the classes. We’re here for four years. We make lives for ourselves. The people we spend our days with, eat lunch with, sit in class with, they become family. And next year that family will be scattered across the country. People move back home. People go to grad school. They make plans and they move on. And that’s what they’re supposed to do. That’s what they are in the process of doing. It’s what I’m in the process of doing.

But sometimes, we put so much emphasis on getting there, that we don’t stop and think about what will happen when we are there.

Relationships of all kinds are about convenience. It’s easy to stay friends with someone when you see them every Tuesday and Thursday from 9:40-11:10. It’s even easier to stay friends with someone when they live down the hall from you, eat dinner with you, take all the same classes as you. These people are a part of your life. They part of my life. Will they still be a year from now, ten years from now?

I know what you’re thinking: you’ll still be friends with the people that really matter. That’s what I’m thinking too. I’ll stay in touch with the people I care about. If both people make an effort, there’s no reason why two friends can’t stay in touch even when they barely see each other. Facebook and Twitter, texting and BBMing, and instant messaging and e-mailing have all made that possible. But think back a few years, back to the last time you graduated. Are you still friends with all those people you were hugging in your high school prom pictures?

I had a big group of friends in high school, but after we graduated, separated, became interested in different things, those friendships changed. I’m still in touch with some of them, but I’ve completely lost touch with others. It’s expected. It makes sense. Still, I can’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment every time I think about these people no longer being a part of my everyday life.

These are the friendships I’ll try to preserve. There will be late night phone calls, commenting wars, gatherings that will make up for lost time. We won’t see each other every day – it won’t be like it always was – but we’ll still be friends. I’ll make sure of it. There will be other people, though, that I won’t stay in touch with, and neither will you.  That guy in your psych class? The girl you share notes with in calculus? Those people you see every Dollar Pitcher night at the bar? You may not make plans with them or even have their numbers, but they are still there, in your life, every day.

But they won’t be for much longer

Senior year, I’m realizing, is all about the changes. As I take the necessary steps to make those changes, I can’t help but look back and think, why exactly do things have to change? Why can’t we just stay here forever?

But maybe I’m just being sentimental… or overdramatic. (I’ve been told I have a tendency to do that.) Or maybe it’s PMS?

What do you think, College Candy readers? Are friendships all about convenience? Will I stay in touch with my college friends? Or will my friendships start to dwindle as the distance between us increases? Does it matter?

Freaking out? Not ready to graduate? Let one of our resident post-grad’s give you a little real world (gr)advice.

That’s kinda what freshman year feels like right now. I’m meeting a ton of people, but I’m just not sure how they’ll all fit into my lives. Who will be my bff? My Facebook stalkee of choice? My worst enemy?

It reminds me of the Jersey Shore, season 1: Snooki dramas out the first week and everyone hates her, The Situation and Sammie are an item, and Pauly D actually talks – things that are all highly unlikely and strange by now (we could never hate Snookums and you know The Situation would never settle down with just one lady). The guidos and guidettes of the Jersey Shore were just trying to figure out their niche in the house, to settle down and make some friends.

And much as some of you guys will hate to be compared to J-Woww and the crew, figuring out the beat in college happens very much the same way as the Jersey Shore squad approached it. You wander around, looking for potential friends and potential loverboys…and you learn that some are winners, and some not so much.

But unlike the cast of the Jersey Shore, we have to see these people over and over again for the next four years (without getting paid), so it’d probably be better if there wasn’t so much drama that called for big ass apologies.

Some tips for staying on good terms with new people:

Don’t Gossip: Gossip is always bad. Always. Especially if you don’t know the person that well. Because then, when she finds out you’re talking about her (which she will), you suddenly become that girl who not only gossips, but judges people without even knowing them. It’s so much worse, trust me.

Sit with different people for meals: Expand a bit – you don’t have to stick with one group of friends forever and always. I mean, what happens if you’re  3 weeks in and all your dinner buds have other commitments? What do you do then? Awkwardly sit alone? The first few weeks of college are about opening up and making new friends, so open up and make new friends. You never know who your BFF (or your BF) will be.

Don’t stress out about boys too much: A lot of guys are looking just to hook up in these first few weeks. If you start overanalyzing them, you’ll just get more acne and really, no one needs that. Plus, you don’t want to start some kind of rivalry with other girls who go after your man.

Play Frisbee! I know, it’s so cliché, but you guys, I’m pretty sure there’s a reason why dogs are always happy and well-liked. They all like to play frisbee. Frisbee is active, boys and girls like it, and other people always want to join your game. It’s easy and fun and involves just the right amount of talking. Just watch out for the college brochure photographers.

Keep yourself together: Don’t pull a Snooki and totally lose your shiz before these potential new friends really have a chance to get to know you. I imagine the story of the “chick who puked up Jimmy John’s in the hallway” will spread through campus quickly and that reputation will be hard to shake.

Do you have any tips for making good impressions on new friends?

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Need help managing those dreaded group projects? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics? We’ve got the girls for you. Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”! They’ve got all the answers you need, no matter who you are.

Question:
So I’m a sophomore and I’m living in my sorority house. I’m having the best time – there’s always someone to hang out with here and there’s always something going on. The problem is that my non sorority friends have been getting mad at me for not hanging out with them. It’s not that I don’t want to – it’s just that they live all the way across campus and I don’t have as much time to see them as I did when we lived on the same floor. I feel really torn and don’t know what to do. If I stay at my sorority house, I miss out on times with my other friends. But if I hang out with them (when I find time), I’m missing out on something at the house.

Can you help me find a balance?

Busy Bee:
It all boils down to this: Who do you like more? I think that when you like a certain group, you make an extra effort to hang out with them, regardless of the complications. On the other hand, I do understand that you are extremely busy. You have to hang out with whoever is easier to access (which happens to be your sorority girls).

Sooo, you gotta tell your non-sorority friends to meet you halfway. They can come to your place every other week, while you make it over to their dorms on the other week. Other ideas include meeting up at the campus coffee shop, making weekly study dates, or having weekly shopping hangouts.

Plus, your sisters should understand that you have a life outside of the sorority. I don’t think that you would miss that much when you go out with your friends. If you do, I’m sure some of the girls would be happy to fill you in when you get back. And it’s always good to have a life outside of the people you live with (it can get catty)! Remember, just set your priorities straight. I know it’s difficult, but just keep in mind that if you really like both groups, you have to find a way to keep them in your lives. Otherwise, you might lose a good thing without knowing it.

Party Girl:
You’re in a pretty common position. Even without the sorority committment, it’s difficult to find time for all your friends during sophomore year. You all have different living assignments and some of you may have taken on jobs and Greek life as well. Finding the balance is tough…but completely manageable with alcohol. It’s the great socializer! Your campus can’t be that huge where walking to your friends’ dorm on the weekend is impossible. Dorm parties, house parties, tailgates – all of these are great ways to keep the balance. Also, I’m sure your sorority has functions that the general public is allowed to attend. Invite your friends! And while you shouldn’t start flaking on your sisters, you should make some time for your old friends by skipping one or two of the smaller events. Keep the connections alive, girl!

GPA Girl:

My first reaction was to say that your non-sorority friends sound kind of petty, but then I thought about it some more, and I think they have a point. From the way you describe it, it does seem as if you’re not really making much of an effort to see them. Then again, I have a feeling we don’t know about the full situation here–how much of an effort are they making to see you, for example? Are they trekking across campus to hang at your place?

I think you need to be really honest with yourself about how much of a priority your non-sorority friends are to you. Because if you keep telling them they’re important to you but your actions always say otherwise, they’re going to figure that out pretty quickly, and they’ll have a right to be ticked. If you start to actually back up what you say and meet up with them regularly, though, I predict they’ll cool off before long. Why do you have to go all the way across campus, anyway? Can’t you guys meet at a nice coffee shop in town or at the library to study or something?

Alternately, if your non-sisters just aren’t as important to you as they used to be, I believe you should gather some balls and be honest with them about it. There is nothing wrong with having friendships that fade away–it’s natural, and we all have experienced it–but the bogus part results when one friend isn’t honest about her priorities. You can be honest and still be nice. Try saying something like, “I’m so sorry I’ve been neglecting you guys lately. But I’m really having fun hanging out at the house, and it’s hard to motivate myself to leave. Would you want to meet up with me just once a week off-campus or something?” This is really a communication issue–just talk with your friends about how you feel, and be real with them. A solution will follow.

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Need to pad that resume? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics? We’ve got the girls for you. Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
I don’t like drinking but I feel like that’s all there ever is to do in my college town on the weekends. What are people supposed to do in college who don’t like to get wasted every night? And how are we supposed to find friends when all they ever do is go out and get drunk?

GPA Girl:

Wow, do I ever feel your pain. In my experience, there are lots of us non-drinkers out there, especially at the beginning of undergrad, but as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to find people who want to do things other than get trashed. Not to mention that people who don’t like to drink are usually introverted, so it can be harder to find them and befriend them in the first place. Sigh. The deck is stacked against you, girl. But here is some good news: I managed to find amazing, incredible, awesome friends in college even though I didn’t drink a drop. Most of my friends did drink occasionally, but they shared my lack of interest in getting blasted at large parties every weekend. 

Since it’s basically impossible to tell who drinks and who doesn’t just by looking, I recommend you go all out and try to make a bunch of new friends of all types. Find these people in your classes, at your extracurriculars, or even in the larger non-college community. Most people don’t drink EVERY weekend, so in your mix of new friends, you should have at least one or two people available at any time whom you can contact and ask if they’d like to hang out. You can do plenty of things with these friends: snag a lounge and have a movie night, do one of those boxed murder mysteries, study together, go out for dinner or dessert, play games, do sports, work on art, etc. Just play to your (and their) interests.

And to finish, here are two more quick snippets of advice: 1) Don’t act elitist about not drinking or give people the impression you think drinkers are stupid, and 2) Try going to a party sometime. You don’t have to drink, and you might meet fun people there whose goal is to have a good time rather than to get totally drunk. Good luck!

Party Girl:
I’d like to offer you some advice, but I don’t think I’m the best woman for the job. I’ll leave it up to the other two to guide you on this one. If you do decide you wanna try a little saucin’ sometime, hit me up. I have plenty of advice, tips and tricks to share.

Busy Bee:
I absolutely love this question because I am in the same boat as you – I don’t drink either. Now, many college girls might say “Wow, that’s crazy. Alcohol is the best!” and some might say, “Finally, college girls who are sober!” It doesn’t matter what your views on drinking are, but that you create the college experience that you want. So, what is it that I do instead of drink? I have my best friends who don’t drink either. We have fun by heading out to restaurants for dinner, hitting the drive-thru right after, running around town gossiping about the latest news, hitting up local parks to relive our childhood, watching the latest chick flicks, embarking on spontaneous adventures, and creating new memories. You see, people in college who don’t drink every night, we throw our own dress-up, singing, dancing, and crazy sober parties. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s possible to have your own version of fun.

You need to start out by seeking out that one friend who doesn’t drink and then you’ll find yourself attracting more people of the same crowd. After a while, you’ll have a creative group of alcohol-free friends. Can’t seem to find a sober friend? Try seeing what your school or town has to offer. Maybe there is a monthly movie night on campus (great place to meet like-minded sober people!), or maybe you could join a student group that interests you and meet people there. Just branch out a bit and get involved with as many different things as you can; you’ll have your own circle of sober friends (and great friends) fast.

And girl, I’m proud of you for not falling to peer pressure standards. Do what makes you feel comfortable!

You may be packed, but are you ready?

Congratulations, freshwomen; you’re almost done with your first semester of college! Finals are coming faster than you can say “blue book,” but before you get there, you have one last big hurdle: going home for Thanksgiving. If you haven’t been home yet during the semester, odds are, you’re excited to see your friends and, though you’d hate to admit it, your family. Keep in mind, though, that your glorious homecoming might not be as bright and shiny as you imagined.

Remember to keep breathing.

The moment you step in your house and drop your bags onto your trundle bed, you’ll grab your parents’ car keys and meet up with your high school friends. These meetings are going to be your refuge from what’s happening at home, but they are also going show you how much you and your friends have changed in those few months at school. When you come together (at your old favorite restaurant/in someone’s basement) you will immediately compete one another with your “craziest college story EVER” and share new life experiences (“Wait. You did…it!?”). It may seem like everyone has changed, but things will fall right back into place when you reminisce about old times by your lockers and talk about all those weirdos who never left your hometown.

There will of course be uncomfortable run-ins with the people you were dying to get away from after graduation, the people you didn’t like that much to begin with and exes. These potentially awkward situations don’t have to be so bad if you remember to wear makeup be nice. It’s entirely possible your time apart has made things better. And if it hasn’t, well, just remember your breathing. And pretend you’re on the phone with someone and don’t see them as you scurry off in the opposite direction.

If you’re a town mouse who’s learned to make her way in the big city over the last few months, your town may feel small when you get back home. (Especially when you realize the only food that comes in the form of delivery is pizza…and only until 9pm.) The time between move-in day and Thanksgiving has flown by, and you’ve grown in leaps and bounds. Your new-found sense of freedom, your worldliness, and your social habits may not go over well. Mom and Dad are expecting to pick up their baby from the airport, not a young woman equally familiar with Marx and Long Islands. Let them let you go in their own time. They will keep telling you what to do and when to be home. They will keep talking to you like you are their baby. Just keep breathing, deeply. It will take some time for them to loosen up.

But that’s really the least of your problems. Your parents–nay, every adult family member–will want to know what your plans are. Do you have a major? What do you think you want to do after graduation? If you don’t know yet, tell them, “I think about being a [blank] major, but I’m still exploring my options.” Most are quick to back peddle and say, “Well, I guess you still have time.” Be prepared to answer the same questions about your major, your friends, your roommates, and your dating habits many, many times. This is perhaps one of the toughest parts of Thanksgiving. Try to talk to groups of family members at once to cut down on the number of times you have to explain things but do not, under any circumstances, show that you’re annoyed. Take a bite of mashed potatoes, swallow, and smile.

Somewhere between all of this you will have to fit in some reading/studying for your Monday classes. Just don’t bring the books out in front of the family; unless, of course, you want to answer 25 more questions on what you’re learning and how you’re doing in that class.

Eventually, with a full belly and a massive headache, you’ll it to Sunday. Pack up your leftovers (don’t forget the stuff in the freezer!), the things you forgot in August (like your high school yearbook), and hug your family and friends tight (promising to “be a lot better” about those weekly phone calls). Take a deep breath and head back to the sanctuary that is your college life.

And with that you’ve made it through your first Thanksgiving. It may have been tough at times (like when your parents made you come home on Saturday night by 11), but just indulge in that leftover stuffing and know that this was only a test run for the real race: Winter Break.

I remember going to college expecting to make some of the best friends of my life. It had always seemed that way — you have nice high school friends, but gradually they fade out of the picture and your college friends dominate your life. Wasn’t that the way it was supposed to be?

As I arrived at school and plunged into the rigorous academic environment that was promised in the Princeton brochure, the social scene surprised me in some way. There were the usual kinds of people I expected — the jocks, the preps, the econ majors — but not the friendships I was looking forward to.

I had dining hall buddies (people to eat and swap jokes with), and homework buddies (people to frantically share answers on problem sets with), but there was no gang of girls sharing secrets and supporting each other the way there was in high school. I compared notes with other friends and they agreed; for one reason or another, no one had as close friendships in college as they did in high school.

Why?

It seems that high school is an altogether more social experience than college. The higher you rise in education, in fact, the more solitary and independent you’re expected to be, so if you get to grad school you’re basically holed up in your library cube  all day with little contact with the outside world.

People in college are independent and driven. They have career goals and they always have things to do and places to be, most of which don’t involve bonding. Even those so-called bonding sessions you think you are having seem like goals on the way to becoming the perfect, accomplished college student. That’s how the friendships seem to evolve as well: we need people to eat with, so we form dining-hall groups. We need people to help us with our work, so we form study groups. We need to bond with our sports team, so we hang out with other team members.

Friends just for the sake of friends are relatively rare.

College, in some ways, can be a lonely life. But that doesn’t mean connecting to people is impossible; you just need to know where to look.

Instead of just being drawn to the people on your hall out of geographic convenience, you’ll have to do a little sleuthing to find people who share your interests. Join a club related to what you feel passionate about. Chances are there’s a club on your campus that suits your interests, from literary magazines to ethnic identity groups to dance or film enthusiast organizations. If you’ve got problem-set buddies, that’s great, but maybe not everyone is taking the class because they love the subject. Seek out people in the class who really like what you do and talk about the homework together. Don’t just follow the crowd so you’ll have someone to party with on weekends — do a little extra work to find people you feel compatible with, and have lunch with them once or twice a week. That way, you can connect with people even if you don’t live close to them.

One thing you don’t want in college is to be hanging out with people who don’t care whether you fail or succeed, who only want to be with you as a step towards some other goal. Seek out people who will applaud your triumphs and sympathize with your hardships, and your social life on campus will be a vastly more rewarding one.

When I was still in school (ugh, I get depressed just thinking about the glory days), my dad would always tell people that no one was having more fun than me. I loved the football Saturdays, the sorority date parties, the movie nights with my friends and even the late night study sessions in the library.

I had the best four years of my life on that lovely campus, but there are a few things I’d change if I had the chance. Like growing out my bangs a whole lot sooner or steering clear of those belly shirts I wore to frat parties freshman year (it was a lethal combo, let me tell you).

No matter how much we all love college, I know that everyone has that one thing they’d like to do-over. Being that we’re all heading back to campus in a few weeks (Oh wait, not me. Sigh.), I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their do-over wish lists so no one else has to make the same mistakes we did. Because college will be the best four years of your life and you don’t want to look back with any regret.

Mechelle – Florida State: I wouldn’t have had that boyfriend freshman year. Seriously, how many times in your life are you surrounded by gorgeous boys your age?

Melissa – GW: I would go back and relive Welcome Week of freshman year.

Kim – Stanford: If I could do one thing thing over from college it would be that guy in my english class. Yes, I would do him over, and over again.

Alex – Lakehead University: I honestly don’t think that I would change one thing! I’m pretty satisfied!

Thu – USC: Apply to study abroad this upcoming semester instead of waiting until spring… And of course, go out even more than I did.

Leah – Ryerson University: I would have taken a gap year to travel instead of going into a program that wasn’t right for me.

Kayla- California State University, Sacramento: I wish I would have discovered the concept of early morning classes. Commuting through mid-morning traffic for two hours a day wore down my soul.

Desiree – Columbia University: I would’ve scraped together the money to get a fake I.D. It broke my heart to tell the hot 28 year old I was crushing on I had to skip his birthday party because I was still 20.

Lauren – University of Michigan: I would have gone abroad; I’ll never have the opportunity to do something like that again. Oh, and I definitely wouldn’t chug straight from a bottle of Captain’s. Bad. Idea.

Carly – Grinnell: I would NOT have gotten so attached to my first college boyfriend. Mistake! I should have been out making more friends instead.

Katie – Michigan State University: I wouldn’t have skipped as many classes.  I mean, I had some amazing naps, but I probably should have been in class instead.

Elizabeth, University of Missouri: I’d probably reconsider taking any class that involved me waking up before 10 AM.

Sarabeth – University of Texas, Austin:  I would’ve changed majors a LOT sooner. I hated when people in my classes thought I was a freshman.

Maddie – Tufts: My 19th birthday, which ended with my cellphone in the toilet and a laundry list of additionally embarrassing choices/mistakes.

Charlsie – Hollins University: The people I became friends with turned out to not be the people I thought they were, so I would like to have a do-over of making friends and branching out more.

Lauren H – The New School: I spent so much of my college career worried about what someone else would think that I didn’t go anywhere or do anything for three years. I wish I could undo that.

Ashley – Marietta College: Not given my virginity to an a**hole… or dated an a**hole for that matter. Argh.

Cristina – Michigan State: I’d definitely not go home as much in the beginning and try to meet as many people as I could instead of living in my safety bubble of a life until last minute.

Sara C – Fordham: I would take more dance classes. No, really. I’ve taken two already and it helped me focus and improve my discipline. Not to mention, no homework, great workout, terrific stress relief, and hot guys (yes, some were straight)!

Liza – University of Minnesota: Transfer sooner! Just sayin’. Minnesota is amazing.

What would you want to do all over again?

Sure, it was nice to be home. But I kept feeling like I had to go back to school, like this was more of a temporary sleepover than a homecoming. While the weekend kept me busy from noticing that my house was not exactly home, it also uncovered a new strangeness which college created—meeting up with high school friends.

Most of my high school friends, all of whom I have known for years, go to college within two hours of my hometown. So when a few of us come home for the weekend, we all come home for the weekend. And while I loved being around people who never need an explanation for my random songs or not-funny jokes, it was also startling to see how just a few months have changed us.

I left my friends for the entire summer, and I noticed little change when I came back. But now my friends are not just sitting around their houses or working at the local Dunkin’ Donuts; they’re making friends, testing their boundaries and (some of them) are becoming people who I never would have talked to in high school. When it’s just the few of us watching a movie or walking around town, I can’t entirely ignore the college sweatshirts, new belly-button rings and anecdotes starring new best friends. I can’t pretend that this is last June, when we all just graduated and were ready for something new.

We all desperately needed something different from our perfect little hometown. Well, we got what we wanted. And now, the constant of friends and home have been fogged. When I walked back into my dorm after Fall Break, arms filled with cleaned laundry and warmer coats, a friend leaned over the balcony and said hello. I realized then that while my house and my friends will never be exactly the same as they were, they will still be there for me when I need to escape from college.

But now I don’t need to escape so much. When I enter the dorm, I have people welcoming me home.

[Photo courtesy of danielbowen.com]