“And, there is our workout facility.  It’s just like Lifetime fitness…but purple!”  (Side Note: Our school colors are purple and silver).  I snorted loudly into the cold air; just like Lifetime fitness…but purple?!? You have got to be kidding me. Our campus workout facility was a pile of workout sh*t, and in no way resembled a national, popular facility people actually paid for. Either the tour guide was paid to say that, or he was color blind (it wasn’t even purple)… and on drugs.

Every college student who has been on a campus tour is well aware that those guides are full of silly little lies.  And sometimes, the lies are the things they didn’t even tell you. You know, that whole “lie by omission” thing. So let’s wipe the sleep out of our eyes, lift our heads off of our too-small lecture hall desks, and take a look at the little things your campus guide should have told you:

The Honest Truth About the Cafeteria
“Now, here is our cafeteria – this is a great place to spend a hungover Sunday morning.  But on all other days, the only quality food is a mix between Cheerios and Captain Crunch cereal.”

Why don’t we hear things like this??  If they would have told me how many hungover mornings I would have been spending there, I would have purchased more breakfast passes to the caf and made sure I was there by 10 AM.  And if my tour guide would have told me how much food I’d be jacking, I would have asked for way more Tupperware at my graduation party.

Never to Take an 8 A.M. Class
The 8 A.M. class was the worst thing created since Vanilla Ice’s home renovation show (yes, there really is one).   If I would have known I’d go to class looking like a low class prostitute and scurry home to go back to sleep after (only to never know what happened) I would have opted for the nooner.

The Secret Library Spot
In every college girl’s fantasy, there is a deeply raunchy make out scene in the library with the guy she’s been staring at in her math class who has thick shaggy hair and perfectly worn-in plaid shirts that hug his toned arms beautifully. (What, only my fantasy?) Who cares about the greatest places to study, the best place to find open computers, and the quietest areas in the lib? Let’s discuss which section of books nobody visits, the darkest corners, and a place to get it on in private.

Thirsty Thursday
Call me a late bloomer, but I didn’t discover ‘Thirsty Thursday’ until I was finished living on campus. Shameful, I know. I mean, I got thirsty on Thursdays and never knew there was a place and time to cure myself. If only my tour guide, the guy I was trusting to GUIDE me through my college campus, would have informed me of this longstanding college tradition and explained the ins and outs, like hiding vodka in water bottles, which R.A.s are cool, and which floor is not the substance free floor. Oh, and giving me a heads up about not having early morning Friday classes woulda been nice, too. Just sayin’.

Group Projects
Forget the tour’s big declarations about how few lecture classes exist. If they put as much time into talking about group projects as the professor-to-student ratio, at least I could have mentally prepared myself for the hours upon hours of wasted time coming in my future.

The Stress of Class Registration
The first time I registered for classes, I thought my heart was going to stop beating and I was going to die incredibly young, vulnerable, and without ever traveling to Australia. I was devastated.  Registration is nothing short of a nightmare and tour guides never prepare you for it.  They should tell you where you can get the nearest cigarette, to never register in a lead house (internet is tough), and to keep a bottle of Absolut nearby for when things inevitably don’t go your way.

The Local Campus Bar
Who cares about the night games in the campus gym?  Or movie nights in the quad? Or the book club in the library? Where is the local campus bar so we can dance to Taio Cruz and make awkward conversation with people in our Spanish class?

Book Buying
Hey, all you tour guides out there?  When you pull the future students into a bookstore full of texts and workbooks that cost more than our yearly tuition, help us out a little bit, mmk? Tell us not to buy books we don’t need. Tell us to sell them online. Tell us how much money that can save us to stock up on some Malibu.

To Buy a North Face and Ugg Boots
You will figure it out eventually, but it would have been extremely helpful if I was notified earlier.  God forbid I was wearing a Columbia and my old Target flats to class for more than a week.

What do you wish YOUR tour guide would have included? Let it all out below.

"She's gonna get fat."

As college students, we are constantly inundated with new knowledge. It can be useful, thought-provoking, or crammed into our head on a Starbucks-fueled binge several hours before an exam. However, very rarely do we question the validity of all this new knowledge (unless you take philosophy classes, then you’ll question away).

That’s where College Candy comes in. We’re not going to debate whether or not the Theory of Relativity actually exists (a disappointment, I know, but I’m a communications major and stopped taking science classes after Baby Bio fresh year). However, we are here to thoroughly investigate the most widespread college knowledge (no, not rhyming): the myth.

Alright guys, I’m gonna level with you: I’m a big fan of the brewskies. I like Sam Adams Pumpkin Ale, Sweetwater 420, the occasional stein of Newcastle, and the slightly more frequent funnel full of Bud Light. I particularly like that I can drink copious amounts of beer without the consequences that would come from drinking the same amount of vodka, water & lime. Most of all, I like that beer lends itself easily to day-drinking.

What I don’t like about beer (besides how much it makes me want to sing drinking songs) is that it makes me fat.

It’s not even the eventual, slowly-creeping-towards-your-thighs fat. It’s like an immediate, “I’m so carbonated and delicious and I’m going to make you so full you can’t suck in anymore” variety of fat. So it’s no wonder that beer contributes majorly to the Freshman 15, right? Ehh, yes and no.

The typical 12 ounce beer has around 150 calories. So obviously, each one you drink adds to your bottom line of calorie intake. The more calories you consume without burning them off, the more weight you’re gonna gain (I know, it’s all very scientific). But if you carefully measure out your Stairmaster time to counteract the beer pong tournament you plan on winning later and you’re still gaining weight, it might not be Natty Light’s fault.

A strange thing happens when I drink beer. Come the end of the party/night/gameday/Happy Hour, I feel this strange magnetic force pulling me in the direction of anywhere that serves cheese fries. I’m not the only one, right?  Ok, good.

Beer, while awesome, still has alcohol in it (actually I’m pretty sure that’s what makes it awesome). Alcohol has this sneaky, two pronged approach to weight gain. In and of itself, it’s a highly caloric waste of nutritional value. On top of that, it lowers inhibitions. So not only are you more likely to make out with that guy who dressed up as a Smurf for Halloween (my best friend is still trying to get the blue body paint off of her sheets), you’re more likely to think that a Big Mac is totally worth blowing your day of careful eating and yoga. And it might not stop at the Big Mac, because we all know McDonald’s is a gateway drug to pizza and Lucky Charms.

So, while beer will make you gain weight (without exercise and self-control), another often-overlooked aspect of weight gain is beer’s BFF, Drunk Eating. The best way to avoid gaining a beer gut that isn’t even beer? Don’t stock your fridge with unhealthy crap, keep snacks in pre-portioned containers or bags, and for the love of all that is holy do not ask the cab driver to stop at Taco Bell on the way home! Instead, eat a good dinner with complex carbs and protein on nights you know you’re goin’ out big. Good judgment before 5 rounds of flip cup might just ensure better judgment after you are dubbed queen of the first try flip.

As college students, we are constantly inundated with new knowledge. It can be useful, thought-provoking, or crammed into our head on a Starbucks-fueled binge several hours before an exam. However, very rarely do we question the validity of all this new knowledge (unless you take philosophy classes, then you’ll question away).

That’s where College Candy comes in. We’re not going to debate whether or not the Theory of Relativity actually exists (a disappointment, I know, but I’m a communications major and stopped taking science classes after Baby Bio fresh year). However, we are here to thoroughly investigate the most widespread college knowledge (no, not rhyming)—the myth.

We’ve all been there. It’s 9:04 am on a chilly Wednesday. We’re regretting our decision to pass on Starbucks (and especially regretting the decision to have a “practice” beer pong tournament with the roomies last night). We’re drumming our fingers on our desks, thinking of our still warm beds, wondering if our professor is going to show (and praying that she doesn’t).

Ok, now it’s 9:05, only 15 more minutes (10 if we’re waiting for a T.A.). If Dr. So-and-So still hasn’t shown, we are free and clear to peace out and crawl right back into bed. It’s the golden rule of classes- if your prof is x-amount of minutes late, class is automatically canceled, and the students who waited so—ahem—patiently, will suffer no penalty.

I remember the first magical time this happened to me. I was a nervous freshman, bundled up in my Hollister jean jacket, listening to the agitated upperclassmen counting down to 15 minutes around me. When our T.A. still hadn’t shown, they simultaneously dipped out, and one sophomore took pity on me enough to explain that I, too, should leave. “It’s like, on the campus website as an official rule,” she’d told me. From that day forward, even the slightest offense of tardiness starts me on an internal countdown.

But am I right? Yes and no. Most schools (including mine) won’t waste precious ink in the student handbook to specify such a rule. An official at University of South Florida agrees: “ I have never seen a written policy on this question.   I’ve heard the rumor about waiting 15 minutes for a prof with a masters, 30 minutes for a PhD….but I have never been able to locate a formal policy.  (And if I were a student, I would be sure to be the last one to leave, however long the rest of them waited).”

According to Snopes though, some schools do specify the elusive waiting period. At Clemson, it’s a required component of every class syllabus. However, the differentiation between T.A. wait time and professor wait time is pretty nonexistent. While fully accredited professors do enjoy more benefits than their assistants, they don’t automatically earn an extra 5 minutes of students’ time (when they’re late to class.)

So how to deal with this dilemma? When in doubt, check your syllabus, if there’s nothing in there about a “wait” policy it’s up to you whether you sit there for 15 minutes or the entirety of the class period (or just see what your classmates think). But unless you can find a specific rule in your student handbook, this myth is most likely false at your institution of higher learning. As for me, I’ll continue to interpret my professors’ lateness as a perfect excuse for me to skip class (although I normally don’t have any trouble coming up with them on my own).

What would you do? Have you ever had a professor explain their “late-wait policy”?

As college students, we are constantly inundated with new knowledge. It can be useful, thought-provoking, or crammed into our head on a Starbucks-fueled binge several hours before an exam. However, very rarely do we question the validity of all this new knowledge (unless you take philosophy classes, then you’ll question away).

That’s where College Candy comes in. We’re not going to debate whether or not the Theory of Relativity actually exists (a disappointment, I know, but I’m a communications major and stopped taking science classes after Baby Bio fresh year). However, we are here to thoroughly investigate the most widespread college knowledge (no, not rhyming): the myth. Last week we discussed breaking the seal and this week we’ll investigate the ice luge (the non-Olympic variety, of course).

While sliding down frozen mountainsides is somewhat adventurous, nothing compares to the college Ice Luge. 6 feet tall, carved into the shape of your school mascot, fraternity letters, or just a giant wedge, the ice luge will leave you liquored up and slightly frostbitten around your mouth and nose.

A  game day staple, ice luges can most commonly be found at tailgates or other large parties, typically attached to girls in various stages of drunkenness. Also known as vodka slides, these blocks of ice with carved channels for various types of alcohol are a college favorite, as many of my Facebook albums can attest to.

Recently, when mentally preparing my mother for the debauchery she may or may not witness on parents’ weekend, I warned her that tequila in any amount will have me shouting at the top of my lungs that she NEEDS to do an ice luge. To my dismay, she said “no effing way” in so many words and I demanded an explanation for her lack of ice luge enthusiasm. Her excuse? Fox News told her she would get gonorrhea from it.

I experienced a roller coaster of emotions: shock, sadness, betrayal and disbelief. I figured this needed serious investigating, so I consulted several of my sorority sisters—they had all heard variations of the “Don’t do any more vodka slides or you’ll get an STD” story. However, a couple of upside down margaritas with the Sigma Chi boys had them singing a different tune—one that slurs along with Lady Gaga and insists that “ice kills germs, alcohol kills germs, it’s like hand sanitizer for your mouth!” With such conflicting theories on this particular college myth, I decided to do some serious research and visit the good people at CDC.gov

According to Herpes.com, “Herpes is spread by direct skin to skin contact. Unlike a flu virus that you can get through the air, herpes spreads by direct contact, that is, directly from the site of infection to the site of contact.” Therefore, unless you share the mouth-end of the ice luge with some guy (or gal) who has the Herp, it’s nearly impossible to get from an alcoholic ice sculpture.

As for Gonorrhea, it “is spread through contact with the penis, vagina, mouth, or anus.” Nothing on there about contact with the ice luge. In some cases, your ice luge may be shaped like any of the aforementioned body parts, but unless someone has been swabbing the mouth piece of it with a petri dish full of gonorrhea bacterium, you should be fine.

I started to notice a recurring theme, but just to be safe, I checked out how exactly Chlamydia is spread: “by vaginal and anal intercourse,” and occasionally via oral. Guess how it’s not spread? Through casual contact, and what could be more casual than ice luging in cutoffs and flip flops?

After researching the trifecta of college STD’s and their possible relation to ice luges, I have come to the conclusion that catching any kind of sexual disease from drinking (not sex) is highly, highly improbable. However, given the predictions of H1N1 breakouts on campuses across the nation (Florida State predicts that 25% of us will contract the virus), avoiding the ice luge may be in your best interest, even if you can’t catch an STD from it.

So remember, when that wasted girl insists that the cold and alcohol kills all the germs, she is wrong—but it won’t give you gonorrhea.

So now I’m a second-semester freshman and I am finally getting the hang of what college is all about. And there are two myths that I was told over and over again were not true when I first got here, but I only now agree. I wish I had believed my older friends when they promised me these parts of college were just a stereotype. Instead I shied away from people my first semester, assuming college just couldn’t be so perfect.

First, upperclassmen are not nearly as scary as they seem. Despite the equal age gap between a freshman and senior in high school versus college, the latter feels much smaller. Last semester, I kept far away from anyone who didn’t fit the “oh-my-gosh-I-am-new-so-let’s-hang-out” stereotype. It was comforting to be with people in my same position. I loved my classes with only freshmen. Strength in numbers.

Now, I am the only freshman in my Spanish class, and I have to speak along with the Spanish majors and native speakers. I am also one of the few first years in my Intro to Linguistics class. And instead of feeling intimidated by my seniors, I used them as resources. In Spanish, I talk to majors and people who already studied abroad. It doesn’t matter our age if it’s an introduction course; we’re all learning something new in Linguistics. I wish I had talked to the sophomores, juniors and seniors more last semester. I feel like they would’ve been a great support system.

Another important myth I’ve learned is not true is that professors don’t care about their students. I go to a smaller college, so there are relatively small classes and we’re never taught by TAs. All of my professors have office hours, and I must admit, last semester I was scared to death to meet with them alone. I was sure they’d find my questions simplistic and not worth their time. This is not the case. From emails to office hours to asking questions after and during class, my professors have been so accessible. Whenever I get confused, they’re there. Two of my professors even gave out their home and cell numbers. To them, it’s not their job to lecture and give out grades. This isn’t just a cushy research position with the pesky requirement of teaching, too. It’s their job to help students understand. I finally appreciate that.

If I could have known that these myths were false on the first day of classes last fall, I think I would’ve felt much more comfortable in class. I probably would have created stronger relationships with my previous semester’s professors and I would have more than just freshman friends. Hopefully I can work on that this semester, and maybe next year I’ll be able to warn a freshman from believing the stereotypical college myths of professors and upperclassmen.

We’ve all been subjected to them, but which of the most widely known Freshman Year stereotypes are false?

#1 The Freshman Fifteen- This is the alligators-in-the-sewers equivalent of college urban legends. Paranoia runs wild in freshman dorms in front of the mirrors, as we wonder if That Dessert just contributed to the infamous Fifteen. The truth is, if you don’t stuff your face at the all-you-can-eat cafeteria, and make some effort at aerobic activity, it’s not going to happen to you. With the stress of being in a completely new situation, I actually lost weight, and went through a phase where I couldn’t eat. With a trip to the gym a couple times a week, or simply knowing when to push back from the table, you’ll be absolutely safe from the mythical menace. The Freshman Fifteen, like most urban legends, is what you make it.

#2 You’ll be broke and living on Ramen Noodles- Absolutely false. Most colleges have an amazing setup of places on campus where you can eat using your meal plan, no extra money necessary. While Ramen Noodles are absolutely tasty, eating them is absolutely your choice. If by chance you do end up wanting spare cash, your college should offer a variety of part-time jobs you can work, often in more than one place. Ironically, despite their price tag, colleges understand that college students want money, and there are continuous jobs available for students. Be careful, though:work too many hours, and your grades may suffer.

#3 The dorms are full of constant parties, and nobody gets any studying done- This varies from dorm to dorm, but generally in freshman dorms, this is false. Nobody’s legal age, yet, and most of us are finding out that college classes are a lot harder than high school classes. While there are wild moments (fire trucks consistently show up with sirens blazing at the all-male dorm next to mine), and wild people (like the person who keeps setting trashcan fires in the Business building), you tend to have to seek out parties, rather than evade them. In the event that you are in the party dorm, you still have two options: the library is open almost all night, or you can join in.

#4 You Shouldn’t Be In A Relationship Freshman Year- Obvi, this depends entirely on you and whether you want an exclusive relationship. Personally, I chose to date my first semester, and while it was the right choice for me, I handled it badly. There’s a lot of responsibility associated with having a boyfriend your first semester of college (not skipping class to sleep in with him, or going out every night with him and blowing off assigned reading), and it can be fun to play the field a bit as a single lady. In the end though, like college itself, it’s all on you and what you choose to do.

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