11 Things You Can’t Get Away With In The Real World
If there’s one thing we all know, it’s that college is basically it’s own little universe. It’s that beer-drinking, bar-hopping, Cliff Notes-reading, coffee-chugging “safe haven” between the comfort of your parent’s home and that place everybody calls “the real world.” And unfortunately, we all know that “real world” is much less exciting than MTV moguls would lead us to believe.
Senioritis: It’s The End
I’ve lost track of the days and I no longer can distinguish between night and day. We drink round the clock now anyways so there doesn’t seem to be a reason for me to try to figure any of this out. But there are still a few things that I must get done before doomsday (known to my parents as commencement ceremonies).

College Graduation: It All Comes Full Circle
I remember my college graduation like it was yesterday. After a group of my friends threw an open bar graduation party for family and friends the night before, I woke up graduation morning hungover, naked and confused about my whereabouts. I rolled over to find myself lying next to the first college friend I made at orientation.
Get Your Degree and Get Outta Here!
There are a few normal things to do after you graduate:
1. Get a job.
2. Go to grad school.
3. Live at home and freak out about the future.
Senioritis: Nothing Will Get In The Way of Partying
It was the second to last weekend of college. Lawns were packed by day and the bars were crowded at night. Therefore it makes sense that it was the weekend that I contracted a deadly disgusting eye infection that prevented me from socializing properly. I won’t go into details, but it wasn’t pretty.
Senioritis: Soon To Be Friendless
This past Sunday was by far the most stressful night of my entire life. Not only was Desperate Housewives new for the first time in months, but Melissa Joan Hart’s movie was premiering and the Natalie Holloway story was airing. Now I’m not a mathematician or even a biochemical engineer, so figuring out how to schedule all these things onto my DVR within the same two hour period was quite the challenge.
Senioritis: No Offense, But…
I’ve always appreciated the phrase “no offense but (insert ANYTHING!)” for it’s ability to take away all offense to the next part of the statement. I went through about a thirteen year phrase where I truly believed that saying “no offense, but” before I said the most heinous thing possible would make it impossible for the person to be mad at me.

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Senioritis: The Things I Won’t Miss
I’ve started preparing for my post graduation depression/emo stage. I’ve bought the tissue boxes and I’ve prepared the soundtrack (Seasons of Love on repeat). But I also made a proactive step of creating a list of things that I know I absolutely won’t miss- that way when I’m putting on my fifth layer of black eyeliner and tattooing tears on my face I’ll remember that there were some bad things about college.
Senioritis: The Best Things in Life Are Free
ollege offers so many opportunities and I regret not taking advantage of more of them. I’m not referring to visiting lectures from world renowned microbiologists or Teach For America open houses.
Senioritis: No More Drinking Holidays
Everything gets celebrated in college. No hook-up is too insignificant for an all day brunch recap and no detagging decision is too trivial to not involve all your friends. So it only gets crazier when it’s an actually nationally recognized holiday.
Senioritis: I Have No Future
Dear Waiter-Full-Of-Wisdom,
I recently had the pleasure and delight of meeting you while I din…
Candy Dish: The Jonas Brothers Go On Tour
OMFG!! WHEN ARE THEY COMING TO MY TOWN!?
No Doubt says “eff you” to Ticketmaster.
D…