Who remembers awkward snuggling!?

No matter if your school is comprised of baseball caps or plaid shirts, pearls or feather earrings, Big 10 football or frolf; there are some stories from college that cease to differ. When you put thousands of kids aged 18-22 in a close proximity for four years, there are going to be repeat offenses and plenty of stories to tell from them. The list below is composed of the top 10 stories from your average college kid- the embarrassing, the awkward, and (unfortunately) the frequent.

1. Omg well MY roommate…
Even if you and the roommates become best buds for life, there is always that one annoying thing he or she does that always manages to come out when you’re studying for your Biological Anthropology final. These habits could range from moderately annoying (like replaying the same 4 songs on loop at a creepily quiet level) to excruciatingly annoying (like sexiling you every night for two weeks straight, and leaving the proof everywhere). We’ve all got our stories, and we all love to one-up each other in conversations arguing over who had it worse.

2. Sloppy drunk you don’t remember
Again, I understand there are exceptions to this one as well. There are the few [lame] college students who do not touch a drink during their four years at college. However, for the rest of us, the majority has at least one story where we completely embarrassed ourselves in a drunken haze of a night. Whether it’s public vomiting or humiliating declarations, there are probably stories better left forgotten. Which brings me to my next story… Read More »

You may be packed, but are you ready?

Congratulations, freshwomen; you’re almost done with your first semester of college! Finals are coming faster than you can say “blue book,” but before you get there, you have one last big hurdle: going home for Thanksgiving. If you haven’t been home yet during the semester, odds are, you’re excited to see your friends and, though you’d hate to admit it, your family. Keep in mind, though, that your glorious homecoming might not be as bright and shiny as you imagined.

Remember to keep breathing.

The moment you step in your house and drop your bags onto your trundle bed, you’ll grab your parents’ car keys and meet up with your high school friends. These meetings are going to be your refuge from what’s happening at home, but they are also going show you how much you and your friends have changed in those few months at school. When you come together (at your old favorite restaurant/in someone’s basement) you will immediately compete one another with your “craziest college story EVER” and share new life experiences (“Wait. You did…it!?”). It may seem like everyone has changed, but things will fall right back into place when you reminisce about old times by your lockers and talk about all those weirdos who never left your hometown.

There will of course be uncomfortable run-ins with the people you were dying to get away from after graduation, the people you didn’t like that much to begin with and exes. These potentially awkward situations don’t have to be so bad if you remember to wear makeup be nice. It’s entirely possible your time apart has made things better. And if it hasn’t, well, just remember your breathing. And pretend you’re on the phone with someone and don’t see them as you scurry off in the opposite direction.

If you’re a town mouse who’s learned to make her way in the big city over the last few months, your town may feel small when you get back home. (Especially when you realize the only food that comes in the form of delivery is pizza…and only until 9pm.) The time between move-in day and Thanksgiving has flown by, and you’ve grown in leaps and bounds. Your new-found sense of freedom, your worldliness, and your social habits may not go over well. Mom and Dad are expecting to pick up their baby from the airport, not a young woman equally familiar with Marx and Long Islands. Let them let you go in their own time. They will keep telling you what to do and when to be home. They will keep talking to you like you are their baby. Just keep breathing, deeply. It will take some time for them to loosen up.

But that’s really the least of your problems. Your parents–nay, every adult family member–will want to know what your plans are. Do you have a major? What do you think you want to do after graduation? If you don’t know yet, tell them, “I think about being a [blank] major, but I’m still exploring my options.” Most are quick to back peddle and say, “Well, I guess you still have time.” Be prepared to answer the same questions about your major, your friends, your roommates, and your dating habits many, many times. This is perhaps one of the toughest parts of Thanksgiving. Try to talk to groups of family members at once to cut down on the number of times you have to explain things but do not, under any circumstances, show that you’re annoyed. Take a bite of mashed potatoes, swallow, and smile.

Somewhere between all of this you will have to fit in some reading/studying for your Monday classes. Just don’t bring the books out in front of the family; unless, of course, you want to answer 25 more questions on what you’re learning and how you’re doing in that class.

Eventually, with a full belly and a massive headache, you’ll it to Sunday. Pack up your leftovers (don’t forget the stuff in the freezer!), the things you forgot in August (like your high school yearbook), and hug your family and friends tight (promising to “be a lot better” about those weekly phone calls). Take a deep breath and head back to the sanctuary that is your college life.

And with that you’ve made it through your first Thanksgiving. It may have been tough at times (like when your parents made you come home on Saturday night by 11), but just indulge in that leftover stuffing and know that this was only a test run for the real race: Winter Break.

9. I HAVE FRIENDS

As soon as I arrive home from school for summer break I spend the next three months filling my family members in on everything that happened to me throughout the year. I expect them to smile, laugh, cry, and sob at all the appropriate moments in a story and I can’t lie, I get very angry when they don’t. I cannot comprehend why my mom doesn’t find it hilarious that I woke up next to a homeless man one morning. Even my dog is walking out on my, “and one time at school…” stories when August arrives. So it’s always exciting to get back to school and be around the people that star in all my stories.

8. ALCOHOL IS TO GET DRUNK

One of the hardest parts of readjusting to home life is drinking alcohol in moderation. When I first came home my parents would offer me a glass of wine at dinner and I would chug it down and put my glass out for more. They told me I needed to learn moderation, I told them that they needed to learn that if they wanted to get buzzed before the first course they would have to sip a little faster. They suggested I might be an alcoholic, I suggested that they suck. I can’t wait to go back to school, drink wine from a box and take shots of what may or may not be rubbing alcohol and not get stared down for getting drunk before sunset.

7. NO PARENTS

I’m very old now and so its ludicrous for me to have any rules when I’m home. However that doesn’t stop my mother from playing twenty questions every time I go out or come home. How was it? Who was there? Does she like school? What did you drink? Did you buckle up? How much did you tip? Did you see anyone from high school? Really? She got that fat? I love being at school and stumbling home at 3 a.m and having no one care. I love waking up underneath the kitchen table and not having to give anyone a reason why. Read More »