Welcome back to The Rival Rundown! If you’ve always wanted to give props to your school on CC, now’s your chance! Shoot us an email explaining what’s awesome and unique about your school (or what stinks about Rival U) at

This week begins the World Series, the premier sporting championship in the nation (at least in my opinion–why have one night of the Superbowl when you can have at least four nights of nail-biting, crowd-rousing suspense?). While the world obsesses over the current New York-Philadelphia rivalry, let’s take a look at another – between Columbia University and the University of Pennsylvania.  The only two Ivy League schools with truly urban campuses, Columbia and UPenn are champion institutions themselves. But who will come out on top? Best of five wins…

1. Mascot Matchup

Columbia- Don some baby-blue and white to cheer on the Lions, so named for the university’s heritage as King’s College (referring to the King of England, whose coat of arms portrays a lion).
UPenn- The Penn Quakers pay homage to the Society of Friends (aka the Quakers), the religious affiliation of the settlers of Pennsylvania. The largest Quaker-fest occurs each spring at Penn Relays, a prestigious and historic track-and-field event attracting students from high schools and colleges across the country.

Three credits to: UPenn. How could you not love a team named the Quakers? Who doesn’t love oatmeal?

2. Late-Night Munchies

Columbia- After an evening of criss-crossing Morningside Heights, stop by Koronet’s Pizza where a classic New York slice will set you back $3.50. If you think that’s expensive, consider that the slice takes up the entire length of your forearm.
UPenn- If you’re in Philly, you gotta have a cheesesteak. The all-American concoction of sliced steak and cheddar cheese on a hoagie (that’s right) is the most mouth-watering attraction in the city, and UPenn students get their fix at Pat’s King of Steaks, open 24/7.  Get a standard for $7.50.

Three Credits to:  Columbia, where you get more bang (and crust, and sauce, and cheese) for your buck!

3. Terrific Traditions

Columbia- Each spring, Columbians clamor to attend the Varsity Show, a fundraiser for the athletics team that takes the form of a student-written, produced, and performed production that satirizes every part of life at Columbia and current events.
UPenn- The Quakers sure are Friend-ly: each year on Hey Day, the outgoing senior class will “haze” the junior class, covering them with food as they pass through the quad, where representatives from each class then give speeches and the junior class is officially introduced as seniors.

Three credits to:  Columbia, for the ingenuity.

4. Ass-kicking Alumni

Columbia- Barack Obama, Julia Stiles, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Allen Ginsberg, Art Garfunkel, Paul Simon
UPenn-Ben Franklin, Donald Trump, Chaim Potok, Dick Wolf (creator of Law & Order), William Carlos Williams, Tory Burch

Three credits to:  UPenn (Ben Franklin shaped democracy as we know it, and Trump is his own freakin’ brand of capitalism).

5. Acceptance Rate Agony (for the class of 2012)

Columbia- 10%
UPenn- 16.9%

Three credits to: Columbia

And the diploma goes to: Columbia! In this series, the title goes to New York and the Lions. For Philadelphia afficionados, better luck on the field this week!

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the sizzling it-boy of the moment, and apparently has a penchant for projects beginning with numerals instead of letters. He has been on my radar since his days as Tommy Solomon on 3rd Rock from the Sun. Man, remember that show? Besides the fact it was gut-bustingly funny, it rocked because JGL played the unconventionally-hot teen boy that was irresistible to my young lust.

Then, to confirm his pop-star status, he starred in one of the most iconic coming-of-age flicks of the 90s, 10 Things I Hate About You.

But a lot has happened since then.  Shortly after 10 Things, JGL took an acting hiatus to study French at Columbia, and developed an appreciation for the smaller things in life. He left college just shy of graduation to begin acting again, this time in plays and on the indie movie circuit. Now, he’s a fully matured adult with his first headlining role in the indie “it” movie (500) Days of Summer, opening today.

And while JGL has always been a cutie, these days there’s no denying he’s 100% smokin’ hot.  Trailers and clever ads for (500) Days of Summer reveal his intelligent, understated, and refined attractiveness that’s effing driving me crazy. Add a French accent to the mix and he can 3rd rock my world any day–summer, winter, whenever!

Forget the girl with her heart on her sleeve; wear your uterus on your undies?

Some men are really, really desperate.

Katie Perry eats it on national TV.

Now everyone can look like Heidi Klum. Well, sorta.

Joe the Plumber and Joe Six Pack chat it up.

The greatest college pranks…ever.

Columbia gets erotic.

Travis Barker is out of the hospital!

The most delicious iPhone.

Professor trading cards? It’s real!

You’re off to college.

There are so many things to think (and stress) about; will I like my new roommate(s)? Will I get the classes I want? Will I make new friends? Should I join any campus clubs?

I can’t answer all of those questions, but I can tell you from personal experience that when it comes to joining clubs, go for it! I can guarantee it’ll enrich your overall college experience – helping you make new friends, giving you something to look forward to on a regular basis, offering an outlet for your passion and surprisingly enough, it can oftentimes lead to you doing even better at your academics.

Why am I so adamant about the positives of joining clubs? I guess to understand that, I have to tell my personal story.

When I graduated high school many moons ago, I went straight to the University of California at San Diego (UCSD). While it’s a fantastic school with a reputation for excellent academics, I was at a tumultuous time of my life and was not prepared for the strains of college. I made some great friends my first year in the dorms and had fun, but I was always hesitant to really participate in extracurricular activities. After a couple of very rough years, I decided to take some time off (AKA drop out) and take some time to “find myself” (AKA work in Corporate America and party a lot).

Fast forward a few years to my decision to go back to school at Columbia University. This time around, I knew I wanted to make the most of my undergraduate experience. I was going to have as much fun as I could and to partake in as many activities as I could, because, hey, once you leave college, those chances of being involved in clubs and activities that you truly love are few and far between.

In my time at Columbia I served on the Spring Formal committee, was in a theatre group, was appointed to numerous committees by my dean and our student body president, was an elections commissioner, an orientation leader, and I served as the Social Chair of my program for one year. Needless to say, I was insanely busy and at times a bit overwhelmed, but when all was said and done, the experience was phenomenal and so different from my first college experience.

I made incredible friends, got great relationships with faculty members, accumulated countless memories and gained interpersonal and networking skills that are proving to be helpful in the “grown-up world”. And despite my chaotic schedule and my occasional meltdown, in the year that I was social chair and serving on so many committees, I had the best GPA of my entire time at Columbia. It was as if the added pressure and lack of free time made me better at time management and didn’t allow for my usual routine of procrastinating until the night before an exam or paper was due. It was uplifting, fulfilling and I believe with everything in me that it made my experience better than I could have ever imagined.

As you’re beginning this journey, think about things you’re passionate about and what you would like to participate in. Into bike riding, kayaking, stopping world hunger, underwater basket weaving? There is a club for you. In fact, the fun of college clubs is that you can basically find one for everything, and if for some reason you can’t, you always have the option to create your own. Just do it. You will make great friends, find your place on campus and really enhance the limited time you have there.

I can promise you won’t regret it.

A new study conducted by Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute’s HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies claims “Those who lose their virginity at a later age — around 21 to 23 years of age — tend to be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems late.”

Even though this new study makes it seem like losing your virginity too late will cause your body to freak out, in actuality, what the numbers really show is that waiting to have sex is sometimes an indicator of preexisting bodily issues.

And to that conclusion, I say, well, of course.

“[M]en with sexual problems may avoid sexual interactions and consequently start later” the study finds, going on to explain that those who get married later without much sexual experience tend to have a difficult time with arousal and reaching orgasm.

“Fear of intimacy, body image problems, alcohol and drug abuse” and shame connected to sexual acts are also issues that come attached to delayed sexual activity, yet many experts examining this particular study believe psychological trauma is the cause of sexual dysfunction, and delayed sexual activity is merely a symptom of such dysfunction.

So basically, having sex later in life may be linked to sexual issues, but those issues were most likely with you way before you jumped into the sack.

Is this common sense to anyone else? The only thing this new study (appearing in the January 2008 issue of the American Journal of Public Health) seems to prove that Abstinence Only programs are probably one-way ticket to confusion later on in life. As ABC News reports, when normal sexual experimentation is “inhibited or not guided, there can be poor sexual health outcomes.”

Risqué headlines aside, it looks like all we got is another study that wants us to embrace safe sex.

So go out and make science proud!

• Remember that stupid anti-drug commercial where the kids get high and shoot their friend with a gun? Remember how ridiculous it seemed? Well, it happens. (WKMG Orlando)

• Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the definition of ignorant. (CNN.com)

• Stop assuming your boyfriend doesn’t like to cuddle and he’ll stop assuming that all girls want to romantic, candle-lit sex. (The Today Show)

• Mini-cows on mini-ranches that are “as sweet as the dickens”? Awwww. (upi.com)

• Please don’t ever do this. Please. (You Tube)

Sauntering into the huge lecture room with confidence, I grabbed myself a blue book and 15-page questionnaire and found a seat. I had only spent a few hours studying the night before, but it was fine, because I was taking the class Pass/Fail, and had already secured enough good grades to keep me in the Pass range, no matter how I did on the final. Plus, it was Ancient Greek. Who does well on the final exam (which reviewed the entire year) in Ancient Greek? The coolness factor of learning a dead language wore off after the first couple of weeks, and by this exam, I was happy if I never say another Gamma or Delta in my life.

I proceeded to fail the final for three hours, and when finally satisfied with my poor memory and congregation skills, I passed the test in and walked out of the door. Who cares? I thought, practically skipping back to my dorm. No more Greek for the rest of my life!

The numbers came back, and I did indeed fail. Miserably. But as soon as I looked at my final grade, my nonchalance immediately disappeared. The Registrar didn’t have me down as P/F in Ancient Greek, they had me with a letter grade! A very horrible letter grade.

I was pissed, I was embarrassed, and most importantly, my workaholic status had been blemished. But what could I do? I had been an idiot. Twice. Once for never checking if the Registrar had my records in order, and twice for sitting in the back of the library and laughing with a friend instead of reviewing “Kronos and His Family”.

Little did I know, I could have sued.

This week, a 27-year-old guy filed a compliant against Columbia University for an F he received on a final exam. The nursing student claims he told professors he needed to miss the test to care for a sick relative, but when he came back, found that he had failed (in absentia, I’m guessing), and was cut from his program.

Nicholas Perrino claims the school ignored his appeals in the matter, and is now suing to get the F erased from his record, reinstated into his program, and have part of his tuition reimbursed.

If things really happened the way they did, I can understand the guy’s case. Real life should always come before school. But if he’s just BSing because he doesn’t want an F, he should cry me a river.

Nobody likes bad grades, dude. Even when they’re in Ancient Greek.