Do Columbia students not carry books?

Have you ever been so excited for something – counting down the minutes, planning your day around it, fantasizing about how amazingly awesome it is going to be, turning off your cell phone so you won’t be interrupted – only to be totally disappointed? Yeah, welcome to the day I lost my virginity my Monday night.

So thanks for nothing, Gossip Girl.

After Chuck’s brazen (and dare I say super sexy) declaration of war during last week’s episode, I was chomping at the bit to see how things would go down. As each day passed, I got more and more excited for my Monday night date with Chuck and the rest of the UES crew. I had dreams (that are too inappropriate to divulge here) about me, Chuck and his private plane. I had visions of a Chuck and Blair reunion. I wrote aggressive emails to the GG writing staff to push Juliet out of a window at the top of the Empire….

And then, 60 boring minutes and a bag of pretzel M&Ms later, I was bitter and angry…and really thirsty (seriously, what is it with those M&Ms?). What was it that was getting my granny panties in a bunch?

Dan and Vanessa Fight:
SHOCKER! It’s been, what, 10 minutes and they’re already having another relationship-altering altercation? About Serena?! And Rufus is trying to give advice? NO. NO WAY. SAY IT AIN’T SO! THIS COUPLE NEVER FIGHTS!

OK so, yes, this one was a bit more exciting because it wasn’t about some boring NYU writing program or an illegitimate child. And it was the result of some serious scheming on Juliet’s part. But still. It’s another fight. And another break up. And…zzzzzzz.

Chuck and Blair Battle:
I’ll admit, seeing Chuck’s sexy evil face was the highlight of my night. And his whole “I’m not trying to make a point, Blair. This is just a warm up. Whatever you want, wherever you want it, I’m going to be there to take it away from you. I wont stop until you have nothing” speech was sexy as hell. But Blair trying to impress a feminist professor by SETTING HER UP ON A DATE WITH A MAN? And Chuck swapping out that man for a lesbian with a great scarf?

Really? That’s the best you people can do? This is Chuck Effing Bass and Blair Waldorf (creator of ‘Blair Waldorfing’)! To say I’m disappointed in both of their performances is like saying that I only kinda like Dorota. Yeah, major understatement.

Serena has an STD:
First, what a lame ass GG rumor. Second, was this an episode of Gossip Girl or an after-school special about safe sex? (Or an add for Tiffany and Co.’s key collection?) And, on a completely unrelated note, this is New York City; how hard is it for Serena to hail another cab when that man-whore keeps stealing hers every morning?!

Every Girl in NY is More Pathetic Than The Other:
Blair’s minion is willing to turn on her and sell her out to Chuck Bass. Vanessa doesn’t trust her boyfriend, no matter how many times he explains himself, so she agrees to steal Serena’s phone to snoop. Some Columbia professor (who is allegedly a feminist) is willing to accept bribes (in the form of single and rich men) in exchange for a student assistant position. Nate falls for Juliet’s lies every. single. time.

Oh, right. Nate’s not a girl. Although you wouldn’t know it – the guy is such a naive wuss.

It’s enough to make you throw your cell phone. And since I’m on my third iPhone this year, I’m glad mine wasn’t within grabbing/chucking distance. Honestly, the only 30 seconds of last night’s Gossip Girl that was worth watching was the scenes for next week. Did you see it?

The thick, black eyeliner?
The long, straggly hair?
The sourpuss look?

That’s right, kids – J Humph (and the dramz) is BACK. And if that’s not enough, she’s bringing the big guns (like TIM GUNN) with her.

Let’s just hope she also brings Gossip Girl back to it’s former glory. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss the girl.

WHO TELLS A 19-YEAR-OLD GIRL THAT HER STEP-DAD IS CHEATING ON HER MOM WHO IS SICK WITH CANCER (or at least thinks she is) WHILE GRABBING HER COAT FROM THE COAT CHECK GUY???

OK, now that I got that off my chest, I’m feeling a little better. But really, what is wrong with (fictional) people? Was it so urgent, random beautiful woman from downstairs, that you couldn’t wait until you got home – to the building you both live in – to tell Lily yourself? And is it even true? Could it be that this woman is just head over heels for Rufus and wants him and his waffle iron for herself?  Between all his breakfast-making and conniving to keep the Doc out of Lily’s life, when would he have the time for some extra-marital nookie?

And, let’s not forget that Lily already sorta knew something was happening between these two before. But what that “something” was, we don’t know for sure. Remember Scarf-Gate 2009? That wool Burberry number was what evened the score earlier in the year when Rufus was all, “Why you lying to me, Lily?” and Lily was all, “Hey, I’m gonna leave this scarf on your table without saying anything so you know that I know and we can move on.”

But now stupid Serena (and her stupid gorgeous makeup and those stupid ridiculous earrings and that stupid, stupid insanely beautiful dress) is involved and we all know how that’s gonna go. (And if you don’t, here’s a rundwon: she’s going to get deep into the mess without really knowing the truth, she’s going to hurt a lot of people, probably break up the family, but then she’s going to apologize to everyone and it will all be OK. Oh, and then she’s going to have hot, steamy sex [potentially involving things found in the fridge] with Nate.)

Can’t wait to see how that all goes down. Pause. Not.

What I am excited for, though, is the return of the old Blair Waldorf. I had a couple tears in my eyes when we found out Chuck had applied to Columbia for her. Not only am I ready for my favorite witch to get out of the East Village and start breaking bitches down on the UWS, but the fact that Chuck applied there for her? Swoon. That’s love. For real, I applied there back in the day and anyone who is willing to do that for someone else deserves a medal of honor. That ish was ridonk.

Sigh, what I would give to be on of Chuck’s random girls for the night…..

Woops. Back on track.

Things also happened between Dan and Vanessa. I only noticed because while these (boring) things were happening, Vanessa was wearing an awesome sequin cardigan and I was drooling onto my remote. I watched closely, hoping she might disclose where said cardigan came from, but instead I followed some fight about internships and writing courses and blah, blah, blah. The funny thing is, the Dan and Vanessa situation is the only one on the show that would really hold up in the real world. It’s real drama, something we can all identify with, and it’s boring me to tears. Maybe V leaving for three months will spice things up a bit?

Or MAYBE Vanessa will send Jenny instead (I’m sure CNN and Haiti need some 17-year-old girl who can sew) and she and her waist-long hair and super wet looking lips will be out of our lives forever!!

Wishful thinking?
Probably, but we’ll find out the fate of all of our favorite UES-ers in the season finale next week. Here’s hoping Jenny’s drug dealing ways save her family…

See? Weird.

Talk about the British Invasion.

Yesterday, this post on Jezebel pointed me towards this utterly, utterly ridiculous Times of London article that claims college-bound British ladies are increasingly enrolling in American universities—primarily to meet “Ivy League educated males.”

The article is crazy enough that it blames “hit shows such as Gossip Girl, The OC, Dawson’s Creek and even Twilight”—yes, that noted television program, Twilight—for the pseudo-phenomenon it’s investigating. Author Luisa Metcalfe also cites Ivy League hotties including Barack Obama, Jake Gyllenhaal (both of whom went to Columbia. I’m just saying), and “aspiring Dartford College student Dan Humphrey” as bait for English girls.

I repeat: Dartford College. Never mind that Gossip Girl’s Dan actually ended up going to NYU, or that he originally wanted to go to Yale, not “Dartford”—Metcalfe actually writes the word “Dartmouth” just three paragraphs after she initially mangles the name of the beer-happy New Hampshire Ivy, so how did the term Dartford even make it into the final version of this article? Don’t they have copy editors across the pond?

And even if this article is right and female Brits are really applying to American universities just so that they can meet guys with argyle sweaters and perfect teeth—not, you know, because they want to get a good education at a top school—I have to speak up.

I’m sorry to burst your bubble, mates, but here’s the truth about Ivy League guys: they are weird. At least, the straight ones almost all are.

The only long-term boyfriend I had at Columbia once tried to make his own beer by boiling hops and wheat, then letting the mixture sit for a week. My best guy friend on campus, a chemistry major, straight-up watches videos of scientific graphs on Youtube sometimes. My brother, who went to Yale, used to have “books and hot sauce” listed as his interests on Facebook.

Metcalfe quotes Dr. Dona Matthews, who used to work at New York’s Hunter College Center for Gifted Studies and Education, as saying, “In order to get in to any of the Ivies — in addition to exceptionally high academics and SATs — they have to be athletic and they need to demonstrate exceptional social abilities.” But if Ivy League guys are all “athletic” and “social,” I’m the freaking Pope.

Sorry, girls—although there are a few Nate Archibalds scattered across Ivy campuses, the vast majority of dudes who attend the Ancient Eight are quirky at best and just plain odd at worst. So are the girls, actually. That’s one of the things I love most about Columbia.

If I wanted to find a Prince Charming in college… well, I guess I’d try transferring to some school in England.

I met with Broadway.Tv in the press room for Oleanna where cameras and reporters interviewed Julia, Bill and director Doug Hughes, firing questions about the intricate plotlines and the dynamic relationship between the two characters. “Oleanna” only has two actors on stage for the entire play and the high drama between the two characters was a primary focus for all the reporters. Both Stiles and Hughes likened the performance to “a sporting event,” noting that working on the play is so powerful, the emotions are akin to an adrenaline rush.

I was able to sit down with Julia and chat with her one-on-one and capture her insights on the play, college and… Sesame Street?

5 Questions We Ask Everyone:

1. What’s the most trouble you’ve ever gotten into?
The most trouble I’ve gotten into? Oh my God. Well you know, I’m very good at… not getting caught. It’s not that I’ve not gotten into trouble, I’m just good at not getting caught.

2. What are some things you can’t live without?
Running and swimming. I love exercise. It helps me blow off steam, helps to calm down.

3. What’s your motto/advice you live by?
I wish I had a motto. I don’t know. It’s like one of those things I’ll think of later.

4. What’s your favorite song to belt out at the bar/in the car/for karaoke?
I’m obsessed with “I Feel it All” by Feist and of course “1, 2, 3 ,4″. I just saw that she did that for Sesame Street. It’s really awesome.

5. Ten years from now you will be….
I’d love to be still working, acting, doing what I love. You know what’s funny? I can’t even think beyond March, until this play closes.

5 Questions Just for Julia

1. Tell me about going to school at Columbia; what was it like going to school in the heart of New York City?
I graduated in ’05. I really enjoyed Columbia, it was a great education and I had some amazing professors and also a lot of time we could incorporate our education into the city. For Art History we could actually go to the Met and see the paintings that we were studying. I was an English major, but there were quite a lot of core requirements like Art History.

2. In the play “Oleanna” there’s a strong focus on the tension, some sexual, between your character, a college student, and her professor. Would you give any advice to girls who may find themselves in a similar tense situation with a professor?
I think one of the relevant themes that this play calls into question is, what is the purpose of higher education? How useful is a college education? What are you paying for? A lot of times in college, it’s set up so students forget that they’re actually the ones employing their teachers so they have a right to be demanding.

3. Did you ever have an incident with a professor that was similar to this?
I think nowadays there are policies in place and rules for awareness of student-teacher conduct. Such as, if a student goes to see a professor in their office, the door has to be open and there are policies in place to make sure nothing happens. We try and deal with a lot of those in the play because it was written about sixteen years ago, so we tried to update it a bit.

4. A lot of the roles you portray are very strong female roles; I read somewhere that you’re a “self described feminist.” What does that word mean to you?
I don’t even know what that word means anymore. It’s gotten this negative connotation and almost implies being “anti man” and I don’t think that plays into my characters, they’re just very strong girls.

5. Are there any parallels between Kat from “10 Things I Hate About You” and Carol, your character in “Oleanna”?
I think Carol has a lot more rage inside of her and is a lot more provocative.

We’ve featured many a sports-related rivalry in weeks past, but what would College Candy be if it were not for our strong, beautiful twentysomething female readers? With that in mind, let’s pit legendary women’s colleges Barnard and Wellesley head-to-head (er, tit-to-tit?).  All my single ladies…

1. Mascot Matchup

Barnard- Millie the Dancing Bear is the official mascot for Barnard College, but given the athletic consortium between Barnard and Columbia University, Barnard athletes are lady Lions.
Wellesley- School pride is exclaimed in enthusiasm for the Wellesley Blue–simple, but true!

Three credits to: Barnard which has not one but two mascots!

2. Terrific Traditions

Barnard- Pre-meds (and their roommates) the world over dread the required organic chemistry final exam, a rite of passage about as painful as, say, childbirth.  On the evening before the exam, called Orgo Night, the boys from the Columbia band march over to the Barnard quad to play music to disrupt Barnard girls’ studying.
Wellesley- Every year, the course of the world’s most prestigious marathon, the Boston Marathon, snakes through the Wellesley campus. Known to runners as the “Wellesley Scream Tunnel,” the deafening shrieks of Wellesley girls cheering can be heard from miles away. Classes are canceled on the day of the marathon, and many girls stand roadside with signs offering kisses, bottles of water, and a whole lot of school pride.

Three Credits to: Wellesley, since kissing sweaty strangers is about as type-A collegiate as it gets!

3. Where to Find the Boys

Barnard- Literally across the street from Columbia University and the Union Theological and Jewish Theological Seminaries, Barnard girls are a stone’s throw from all types of co-eds.
Wellesley- Wellesley has cross-registration privileges with MIT and has a bus that travels between the two campuses several times a day. Another bus travels into Boston every hour.

Three credits to: Barnard…where being across the street beats being across town.

4. Ass-kicking Alumni

Barnard– Joan Rivers, Cynthia Nixon (Sex and the City), Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls)
Wellesley- Hillary Clinton, Diane Sawyer, Madeline Albright

Three credits to:  Wellesley for boasting TWO secretaries of state. Seriously, would you want to mess with either of them?

5. Acceptance Rate Agony

Barnard- 28.5% for the class of 2012.
Wellesley- 36% for the class of 2012.

Three credits to: Barnard, no question!

And the diploma goes to: Barnard! It seems the sun shines a little brighter on Barnard’s Morningside Heights campus in New York.

1. We can do just about everything (shop, date, job hunt, talk to professors) in our underwear

2. We can procrastinate on everything in favor of the endless entertainment the inter-webs provide.

The sheer number of blogs and awesome websites out there is astounding…and nearly impossible to navigate. Which ones are good? Which ones are bad? Which ones will flash giant naked men on our screen? (Editor’s Note: Those are my favorite!) Which ones talk about all the stuff I want to hear?

That’s why we are here.

There are so many great college blogs out there and we want to share them with you. Because, after all, we college kids gotta stick together. So, here are a few of our favorites for today:

1. Kill Jill Goes to College: This girl is just awesome. We wish we knew her in real life. Wait, is that creepy?

2. Bwog: Those Columbia kids are as funny as they are smart. We know we didn’t go there, but that doesn’t mean we can’t live vicariously through them.

3. Dorm Wars: Yeah, so we think this site is meant for the college boys, but sometimes boy stuff is funny.

4. Brokeass Student: We are all poor, so maybe this blogger can help us get by?

5. College Sex Talk: Only because we think it’s funny to ask this woman questions about anal.

Which blogs are your faves?

“The Learjet 60 crashed on takeoff at the Columbia Metropolitan Airport at 11:53 p.m. Friday” and both Barker and Goldstein were transported to the Joseph Still Burn Center, in Augusta, Georgia, suffering “extensive burns”.

Although earlier reports feared musicians Gavin DeGraw and Perry Ferrell were on the plane as well, those facts have proven to be false at this time.

While it’s unclear what caused the crash, authorities say they saw sparks “coming off the runway” during take-off.

If we at CC find out anything more about this tragedy, we’ll let you know.  Check back for updates.

Update 1:24PM: The deceased have been identified as pilot Sarah Lemmon, 31, of Anaheim Hills, CA co-pilot James Bland, 52, of Carlsbad, CA, Chris Baker, 29, of Studio City, CA, and Charles Still, 25 of Los Angeles, CA. Chris Baker was Travis’ assistant.

Spencer and Heidi’s Give Me Attention tour rolls on.

J-Lo spent her Sunday running, biking and swimming.

Lindsay and Samantha take a stab at child rearing.

Britney is actually releasing another album.

Hurricaine Ike Vs. Weather Man. Point: Ike.

A hot leather jacket on a college girl’s budget.

J-Hud is gettin’ married!

8 songs for the perfect strip tease!

Palin’s church wants to convert gays?

Sir Paul McCartney ‘Will Be Dead“?!

90-year-old badass grandma

Partying at Columbia look kinda boring

Why your dreams are worse than your dude’s

Movie trailers will never sound the same again.  Sigh.

Keep the Fresh 15 at bay!  Rev up that metabolism

Amy Winehouse = brain damage

Diddy ain’t happy about McCain’s VP

Even Madonna’s good face scares me

Middle-aged white guy sues Columbia for hating men

Ah yes, swiping the old V-card

Addiction does discriminate

Say what during sex?!

Lindsay Lohan blogs political

A few of the good; getting accepted into and graduating from college, meeting our future spouse/partner, our wedding day and the birth of our children. And then the bad; our first heartbreak, parents’ divorces, our first experience of rejection from a college or job. There is, however, one inevitable part of life that we all must deal with at some point, and which I’ll venture out to say is the suckiest part of life; death. There is nothing quite like losing someone you love. It hits you at your very core, turns your world upside down, and makes life suddenly seem so REAL. For me, this jarring, life-changing moment happened just over a year ago when my dear grandmother lost her battle with ovarian cancer.

I will never forget the moment my telephone rang and my mom was on the other end saying “Jess, you need to get on a plane and get home now, Gramma has hours to days to live.” I was flying high from one of those “good moments,” having received my B.A. in Writing and Lit from Columbia the day before and I was on top of the world. I went from that moment of pure joy and pride to utter devastation in less than 60 seconds. We knew Gramma had cancer, she’d been diagnosed in January of 2006 and had been fighting a tough fight since. The day before I got that phone call, we’d been told she only had between a few weeks to months left, so this wasn’t something completely unexpected. However, I guess we were still thinking we had a bit of time left with her, and there really is nothing that can prepare you to hear those dreaded words.

The next several hours were spent in a tizzy trying to get a flight out to San Diego as soon as possible and not knowing if I would make it home in time to say good-bye. Thankfully, I did. In fact, I talked to her numerous times on my journey out there and she kept telling me she was waiting for me to arrive. She stayed alive until the following Tuesday (5 days after I got the phone call) and the time we spent with her in the hospital was nothing short of amazing, but there was nothing that could have helped me grasp the depth of loss and pain I would feel with her passing.

I am no stranger to death, I’ve been to more funerals than a lot of people my age have. I have lost 3 very close friends, several acquaintances, my paternal grandparents, family friends and seen a couple of my closest friends lose their parents. I know how final and hard death is, but nothing has ever hit me with this force, I have never lost anyone who played this important of a role in my life. My Gramma was truly one of the greatest people I have ever known, and I know it sounds biased, but anyone who knew her would agree.

She was the most unconditionally loving, selfless, and kind-hearted person you could imagine. In the nearly 28 years I knew her, I never once heard her speak a negative thing about another person, she is the only person I can say that about. Her memorial service had everyone ranging from friends and family, to nurses from the cancer center, and even people like her gardener and exterminator. She touched peoples’ lives in a unique way, by simply enveloping them in love the moment she met them. She had a warmth in her smile, her laugh, and her touch that are unparalleled and I could talk to her about anything. She was a rock for me throughout my life, but especially after my parents got divorced and my mom struggled to raise three girls on her own.

Before I moved to New York, I would rarely miss my weekly dinner with Gramma and Grampa to catch them up on my life, and after I moved, I would still make a weekly phone call so I could hear her “Oh Jecca! How wonderful! I am so proud of you, you are my star.” I would make jokes that whenever I needed an ego boost, all I had to do was call Gramma and she would tell me how beautiful, talented, smart and wonderful I am. And she meant every word. So how then, could I live without this person?

How would I deal with her absence at my wedding? With her never meeting my future husband, and even moreso, him never meeting her? These thoughts still haunt me a year later and sometimes the pain is just as intense as the day she died. I miss her so deeply that it physically hurts and I long for the days back when she would reign over our family gatherings laughing at our crazy antics and teaching us how to jitterbug.

Every day I learn a little bit more about how to cope with the pain and along with that has also come a peace and serenity. An ability to look back on those times and laugh, to be so thankful for the years we did have together and for all those “little moments” that meant so much; making apple pies, going to the zoo, laughing until our faces literally hurt. All those little moments make up one big picture of who my Gramma was and who I am. She is reflected so much in me (and the rest of my family) and through that she lives on. I know I’ll never see her face or hear her voice or laughter again, but I know that anyone who comes into my life from this day forward, will get to know her through me; through my stories, through my life choices, through my values.

She embedded so many of these things into me, and that is what gets me through those hard days when all I want is to pick up the phone and get her advice. I know there’ll be plenty more of those tough days in the future, but I also know I can happily look back and be thankful that I was touched by someone who meant so much to so many people and who will forever play a leading role in my life. And perhaps that makes the good-bye just a tad bit easier.