So the damn groundhog saw his damn shadow, which means we are in for 6 more glorious weeks of winter. Splendid. WTF, Phil? Why do you hate us so much.

Upon hearing the news we wanted to head to Phil’s hometown and beat the crap out of him (so. sick. of sweaters.), but our therapist (Oprah) always talks about focusing on positive things. So we will.

Instead of hating on Phil – because, afterall, it’s not his fault – we thought we’d make a list of the 5 things and people we currently hate more than Punxatawny Phil. Yay us! We’re so positive!

1. Our alarm clocks – They mean well, but 9am? Really? Don’t you know we were up late watching a hilarious episode of The Office?

2. Comcast – Granted that quick peepee flash to Arizona fans during the Superbowl was disturbingly hysterical, but there were kids watching. And old people. And who does that with their….well, just watch.

3. Mexican food – But only because it was so good last night and so, so, SO bad today.

4. The media calling Jessica Simpson fat - If she’s fat then we’re going on The Biggest Loser.

5. The movie Groundhog Day. It is just bad.

Sex, after all, is supposed to be about love and expressing that love with a very special someone.

Or, at least, it should be free.

But it seems that maybe this whole “trading sex for something” thing is actually innate in all of us. A at the University of Michigan (Go Blue!) revealed that many people – including those from affluent backgrounds – were willing to (and already had!) trade sex for a good or service.

The results shocked many. Why would someone who has everything – and the means to get anything they needed – reduce themselves to bartering with their loins? I am no Psychologist (even if I did minor in Psych at UofM), so I won’t even attempt to answer that. Instead, I pondered the many things I would give it up for.

Ketel One – Such a lovely vodka; it gives me the best drunk. And it’s expensive.

A Cleaning Lady…er…Man: Seriously, I would do just about anything to get my tub sparkling.

A Miu Miu Bag – What can I say? I love it.

A Diane Von Furstenberg Dress – I’m a slave for fashion. I can’t help it if I’d rather roll around in a random bed (or bathroom) than fork over the $500 for one of these beauties.

Free cabs home from the bar – Wait. I already do this.

A Delicious Meal – A little love for some Lobster? Count me in. I really love to eat. What can I say?

A trip to Europe – Italy is so romantic. I could totally fake the romance to get there.

An ‘A’ – Let’s be honest; this would definitely be a more enjoyable all-nighter.

A job – Probably the most fun way to get to the top.

An Oreo milkshake at Potbelly – They are that. good.

Free Cable and Internet: Comcast/RCN kills me every month. How bad would it be to have a monthly booty call for free HBO? Sounds almost perfect.

To Move Me: Moving trucks get expensive and God knows how much I hate packing. I would even give it up to one of the burly movers (after downing a bottle of Ketel One, of course)

It’s nature, ladies. Don’t fight it. What would you do?