VH1’s “I Love the New Millennium” premiered this week. Much like its fabulously entertaining predecessors mocking the 80’s and 90’s (sorry, the 70’s one predates me), it doesn’t fail to deliver laughs and amusing sound bites. Although I think I Love the New Millennium might be jumping the gun time-wise (they are discussing things that happened, like, last week!), I adore the short-attention-span-theater for the distraction-inclined:

Exploring all the pop cultural guilty pleasures, memorable products and people, disgraces and debuts, fads and fashions, scandals and sensations.

With clever and over-animated comedians dissecting and reflecting on everything from metrosexuals to Dance Dance Revolution to Sudoku, you can’t help but giggle at the off the wall and politically incorrect observations. In honor of the show, I decided to take a yummy walk down pop-culture memory lane from 2000-2004. Here are some of my personal favorite memories from the new millennium…and the ones I despise.

New Millennium Favs:

Napster- The inspiring illegal innovation that started it all. Thank you, Shawn Fanning, for changing the musical and digital landscape.

Uggs- I don’t care how hideous they are and how far-gone the trend is, these babies keep my tootsies toasty on the way to class or, if I’m feeling really lazy, at the bar. Read More »

Commercials for last night’s Last Comic Standing boasted the “Most Shocking Audition Ever”. The episode started with more fanfare than a Rockin’ New Year’s Eve.

We watched a ticker in the top right-hand corner of the screen, creeping closer and closer to the moment when our minds would explode on impact after viewing the MOST SHOCKING AUDITION EVER. See that people? I used caps lock.

My heart is currently pounding with nervous anticipation. Here goes nothing!

Heeeeeeeeey! Wait a minute. I’ve been duped. The only thing truly shocking about that exchange was French Stewart’s date-rape joke. This just in: sexual assault is still not a laughing matter. Poor taste buddy. It’s clear now why he slipped into irrelevancy shortly after 3rd Rock went off the air.

I was too distracted to focus on the rest of the program. But here’s what else happened …in haiku form

Acts from two countries

Funnier than in the past

Judges picked wisely

Add a haiku or two in the comments. Two points for rhymes!

Photo: NBC.com

Think you have an eye for talent? Are you the next Simon, Randy or (God forbid) Paula?

Well, AI won’t be around again for a few months, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get your talent show fix. (and no, The Singing Bee doesn’t count)

FameCast is an internet-based talent competition where the winner has the opportunity to win $10,000! And in an appreciated twist, the contest isn’t just for singers! Comedians, singers, dancers, directors, and spoken word artists all have a shot at a title in their category.

Fans voted for their favorite performers and all the performers had to do was upload a video of them doing their thing. Way easier than Idol, if you ask me. Read More »

Eight months after radio-host Don Imus used racial slurs against the Rutgers Women’s Basketball teams he’s back on the air – and he’s not racist anymore! Promise!

Imus (and the heads at RFD-TV, no doubt) must have thought it would be a great idea to prove his non-racial stance by hiring on not one but two black comedians. (We are only calling attention to their race to prove how “un-racist” we are here at College Candy.)

Diversity has a name, or two names in this case: comedians Karith Foster and Tony Powell. Foster is a Jewish/African-American/Texan who graduated from Oxford (JACKPOT!) and Powell is…an African-American comedian!

Don Imus, African-American sidekick(s), continued wisecracks and controversy – sounds like the show is extending an olive-branch towards its infamous rival.

Will this act of unity (and comedy) scream heavy-duty marketing or turn this never-ending controversy on its ear? Tune in to WABC-AM (or RFD-TV) and find out.