What a bitch. Seriously, the next time you see her you are going to open a major can of whoop ass and tell her everything that is on your mind: she’s a crappy friend, you can’t trust her, and those jeans you told her you liked? Yeah, they make her look FAT!

You sit in your room waiting for her to come home, stewing. Each passing minute brings out more and more anger, and you think of more things you can’t wait to say to her. You have never been this angry. You are afraid she is going to cry. You have been waiting to say these things for a long time and there is no telling how it is all going to go down.

You hear her come home. She drops her things and comes and finds you in your room.

“Hey!” She says, in that annoyingly chipper tone.

“Hey,” you reply.

“What’s up?”

“Nothin’, just studying. How was your day?” So, you chicken out. She just looks so normal and happy and you don’t know how to verbally bitch slap someone to her face. You know she doesn’t mean to be a bad friend, and you feel bad unleashing all that anger on her. And having to watch her reaction.

She starts talking about your other friends and the things they are saying about you, and you begin getting angry again. How could you not confront her?! But you can’t. Not to her face. She eventually makes her way back to her own room and signs online.

You see her name pop up on your Facebook chat list and that is when you let it all out.

“You know how I said I was fine? Well I’m not fine! You are a crappy friend….”

Sure, she was just in your room. Yeah, she can hear you tapping your foot through the wall. Ok, so you couldn’t say this stuff to her face; it is just so much easier online! Why have to tell her something to her face when you can hide behind your MacBook and not have to see her reactions? There is nothing wrong with doing it this way, is there? You will get it all out and then have the make up hug in person; it’s basically the same thing.

Actually, it’s better. You are getting it all off your chest and this way you have time to think about what you want to say and feel so much more comfortable saying it online. You’re protected and safe making you much less likely to pussy out of saying what’s really on your mind, and you can do it all with sad/angry music playing in the background to set the mood. (Try doing that while talking to someone face to face.) Plus, there are emoticons, which are basically like talking to someone in person. Right? Right. Anyways, you do everything else online (like shopping, researching and telling boys you like them), so why not this?

Eventually, fingers cramped and armpits sweaty, you say what you need to say. She says what she needs to say. You both throw a few “XOXO smiley face” IMs in there and it’s over. You both get up from your computers, meet in the kitchen for a snack and carry on as if nothing ever happened.

—

Don’t worry; you’re not alone. In fact, I’ve got the Kings of Leon blaring as I’m having an online fight with my BFF right this second. In 2011, I feel it’s the only way to go.

If I know one thing it’s that girls who only shop at Victoria’s Secret for the bras/panties/sexy lingerie are really missing out. That Vicki has a lot more to offer than lacy underthings that make your boobs look huge; Victoria’s Secret is also an awesome place to stock up on clothes, shoes and beauty products. They even have jeans that give your butt some lift!

VS is truly a one-stop-shop for all your girlie needs and the best news is, you can find things within your college gal budget (i.e. under $20). Shop on, ladies. Shop on!

Henley sweaters are a casual and comfy way to keep cozy this season, and not only is this on sale for $19, but you get a free scarf with your purchase as well! Score!

Ok, so technically this set of bras isn’t under $20, but it’s 2 bras for $32, which brings each down to only $16 a pop. (That’s only $8 a boob!) Where can you find a deal like that on good quality comfy bras? Nowhere.

Lip gloss should always be in your purse and with a 5 for $20 deal on all Victoria’s Secret makeup, you can stock up on a whole bunch of items that’ll help ya look lovely. Seriously, the VS makeup is really great quality stuff and I highly recommend loading up.

Leggings are my go-to during winter months; they tuck into boots fabulously, look adorable with oversized sweaters, and for those really cold days, you can put them under your jeans.  VS has these that are 2/$20 and come in a wide array of colors. I definitely plan on stocking up (no pun intended).

No, I don’t know why this girl is wearing pajamas to go bike riding in a prairie, but I do know that when you’re looking for comfort, the Pink collection is the way to go. These pants are great for lounging in your dorm, at home during the holidays, or when you need to run out to get a Gatorade on a Saturday morning.

I happen to think that sweaters are totes cute and I always look forward to sweater weather. And this sweater is one of the reasons why. I love the turtleneck, sleeve length and button details, and at $15, you can’t go wrong.

These panties manage to pull off sweet & sexy at the same time, and the hipster and cheeky cut will do wonders for your tush. With so many cute prints/colors to choose from, I’d be hard-pressed to find a reason not to grab up multiple pairs…

Wrap tops are flattering on every figure and do a great job of accentuating your curves. Mix that perk with the fact that this cotton top will be comfortable enough to wear to lecture and sexy enough to wear for a girls’ night out and you’ve got yourself the perfect addition to your fall/winter wardrobe!

P.S. If you shop today, you can take an extra 20% off one item! Let’s all give thanks to our new BFF, Victoria!

Foreskin may be the only uncharted territory Americans have no desire to conquer. In our country, circumcision is common enough that a foreskin-free penis is the expectation, but elsewhere, that’s hardly the case. Though it remains the most common elective operation globally, the majority of men in the world don’t undergo it. Surprised? Dismayed? Completely alarmed that you can no longer take a European lover?

Don’t be.

The ever-proper Charlotte York may have once compared an uncut penis to a shar pei, but there’s no reason why you should be repulsed by foreskin.

Countless girlfriends of mine cringe at the thought of penises au natural, but my own varied sexual experiences have familiarized me with the lesser known peen and I’m on a mission to demystify it. Here’s some good news to start: uncut penises are pretty much the same as their counterparts. And yet, Americans and those with less colorful sexual pasts continue to treat foreskin as something of an anomaly and even a defect. I’ve isolated foreskinphobia into a few easily identifiable (and refutable) myths:

Foreskin is dirty. Female anatomy doesn’t exactly have the best reputation as far as smell is concerned, but it’d be ludicrous if a guy refused to sleep with me because he questioned my ability to clean myself. Since one would hope most men have mastered basic hygiene by the time they’re sexually active, concerns over cleanliness (or lack thereof) are mostly overblown or based on myths. An uncut penis is no dirtier than the alternative. If anything, guys with foreskin learn more about hygiene at an earlier age and are taught to be conscientious about cleaning themselves. And if hygiene really is an issue? Blame the man, not the foreskin. It’s not like his penis is actively opposing a shower.

Foreskin is ugly. This is a completely subjective opinion, so I can’t exactly debunk it, but attractiveness of genitalia is really in the eye/mouth/hand of the beholder. I’m personally indifferent to how penises look. An erect penis is far more aesthetically pleasing than a thumb, for example, but I’d still rather look into my boyfriend’s eyes than in his pants.   Ultimately, though, we shouldn’t subject our partners’ genitalia to our visual preferences. After all, as much as I like my own vagina, I don’t expect anyone else to be enthralled by it, nor do I think I should be judged on the basis of its appearance. If the presence of some extra skin is enough to dissuade you from ever pursuing a sexual relationship with a guy, then god forbid he actually have a physical defect, like an entire extra toe.

Foreskin puts you at risk for STIs. Some studies have shown a significant reduction in HIV transmission rates among circumcised men. So why isn’t the global medical community suggesting that men get snipped en masse?  For starters, these studies were done in extremely high-risk areas in Africa. Research in developed countries, such as Australia, has shown no difference in HIV transmission rates. Further, though the men in these studies were less likely to get HIV, their partners weren’t. Circumcision only improves the odds for the penetrative partners while those being penetrated (whether they were male or female) experienced the same rates of infection as partners of uncircumcised men. But more importantly, just because a guy has been circumcised doesn’t mean that you should forgo a condom. Ultimately, prevention of STIs depends on personal responsibility, not a decades’ old decision made by your partner’s parents.

All of the above seems pretty obvious, yet an American cultural bias against foreskin persists. The most feasible explanation, in my opinion,  is probably the following:

Foreskin is foreign. I mean that literally and figuratively. In the rest of the world, uncut is the norm. The great majority of European boys get to keep their foreskin. In the U.K., only 4 percent are circumcised every year. Even our northern neighbor, Canada, frowns upon the practice. (The Canadian Pediatric Society has stated officially that it doesn’t recommend routine circumcision unrelated to religious or cultural practices). The story’s quite different in the States, where 83 percent of American male infants born in the 1980s  — the majority of my sexual history — were circumcised. (That rate has declined to 55 percent in recent years.)

These seemingly meaningless numbers are actually quite significant. They mean that uncut penises remain foreign entities for many Americans. So perhaps what really bothers us is not hygiene, disease, or aesthetic underappreciation but rather, a lack of familiarity. Given how intimidated some of my friends are when face-to-face with a penis, it’s no surprise that they’re aghast upon encountering one that looks unlike all others before it.

Just remember: a penis is still a penis and friction is still your ally. Sure, your handjob or blowjob technique may have to undergo slight adjustments, but the end goal (and the way to reach it) remains the same. A couple inches of skin shouldn’t stand in the way of anyone’s pleasure, including your own.

Your best friend totally stabbed you in the back…again. You don’t even know why you are friends with her anymore. Ok, so she is really fun to go out with and is the best person to lay in bed and watch a movie with, but the back stabbing and sh*t-talking has got to stop.

What a bitch. Seriously, the next time you see her you are going to open a major can of whoop ass and tell her everything that is on your mind: she’s a crappy friend, you can’t trust her, and those jeans you told her

you liked? Yeah, they make her look FAT!

You sit in your room waiting for her to come home, stewing. Each passing minute brings out more and more anger, and you think of more things you can’t wait to say to her. You have never been this angry. You are afraid she is going to cry. You have been waiting to say these things for a long time and there is no telling how it is all going to go down.

You hear her come home. She drops her things and comes and finds you in your room.

“Hey!” She says, in that annoyingly chipper tone.

“Hey,” you reply.

“What’s up?”

“Nothin’, just studying. How was your day?” So, you chicken out. She just looks so normal and happy and you don’t know how to verbally bitch slap someone to her face. You know she doesn’t mean to be a bad friend, and you feel bad unleashing all that anger on her. And having to watch her reaction.

She starts talking about your other friends and the things they are saying about you, and you begin getting angry again. How could you not confront her?! But you can’t. Not to her face. She eventually makes her way back to her own room and signs online.

You see her name pop up on your buddy list and that is when you let it all out.

“You know how I said I was fine? Well I’m not fine! You are a crappy friend….”

Sure, she was just in your room. Yeah, she can hear you tapping your foot through the wall. Ok, so you couldn’t say this stuff to her face; it is just so much easier online! Why have to tell her something to her face when you can hide behind your MacBook and not have to see her reactions? There is nothing wrong with doing it this way, is there? You will get it all out and then have the make up hug in person; it’s basically the same thing!

And this is better, anyway. You are getting it all off your chest – you have time to think about what you want to say and feel so much more comfortable saying it online. You do everything else online (like tell boys you like them), so why not this?

Don’t worry; we’ve all convinced ourselves of the very same things before. The online fight? We’ve all been there.

And then, gasp, I saw them being sold at Nordstrom.

Which is where I learned that the shoes were called Crocs and, despite being the most horrifically ugly footwear since the Moon Boot, they were very popular.

“They are so comfortable,” my 30-year-old brother said after I gagged when I saw him wearing them.

Since when does the entire world give up fashion for comfort? Seriously, my grandma wouldn’t even be caught dead in those things.

Well, the….er….masterminds behind the Croc heard my complaint. Sorta. They have been working feverishly to expand their product into the not-so-ugly market and have now done it with….

Wait for it….

The Croc High Heel.

I really didn’t think it could get any worse than the original, but, alas, I was wrong. I don’t care how comfortable these things are, I would rather walk home from the bar with 2 bloody stumps than even try these things on in stores.

If you know what is good for you (and fashion as a whole) you will not give in to the crazies over at Croc. No matter how high the heel or the comfort level.

Practical as these babies may be for me, I cannot think of any reason why men should own them. I wouldn’t even bother arguing this point aside from the unfortunate reality that I’ve seen it, both on campus in the Midwest and at subway entrances in the city.

Guys are wearing the classic-style Uggs, and apparently seem to think that’s okay. I do not believe I am the only one who finds this shocking, appalling, and more than a little disgusting.

Maybe it’s because so many guys are anti-Ugg that I can’t wrap my head around the idea of original Uggs for men. The only saving grace for the brand is that they do make legitimate leather boots and shoes that don’t look like the stereotypical Uggs. This does not relate to the pet peeve in question. We’re talking the original pull-on shearling boots. That men just don’t need.

It’s as frivolous as a guy wearing Manolo Blahnik running shoes. Something just doesn’t quite add up.

For one, if a man spends over a hundred dollars on shoes, they damn well don’t need to double as a slipper. I have issues respecting men in slippers anyway, but really. Buy some golf or gym shoes. Maybe even hiking boots. Nice work shoes or going out shoes, sure. But Uggs? If you want to look like a chick, throw on some pumps. Rocking Uggs in public is basically the same thing.

I wear Uggs on my commute to the office so I don’t ruin my feet with with heels any more than absolutely necessary. Guys, you’re wearing dress shoes or some sort of flat footwear. You cannot use this excuse to purchase the Uggs. Nor can you suggest that they’re great for cold weather. You’re not wearing skirts and tights outside. You’re actually pretty well-covered unless you’re skiing, and those boots are attached to the skis.

Again, your purchase is illogical.

I’m all for breaking through society’s assigned gender roles, and honestly I don’t think we should be controlled by the male-female dichotomy in every aspect of day-to-day life or anything. Ultimately, I wasn’t a Women’s Studies major for a reason. Some things I just can’t accept, and men in Uggs are at the top of the list, immediately followed by the man-pris you’ll see during sailing season.