Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m a senior in college and have been in a serious relationship for the past 5 years. He’s my high school sweetheart. I know, we’re so cute! We just got engaged and are getting married when I graduate (he’s two years older and is already working).

Now that we’re engaged, I want to go on birth control, but I’m not sure what to try. What do you recommend?

Thanks, Tuffy!

Engaged!

Dear Engaged,

First of all, congratulations!!! You’re right, that’s super cute. Go, girl!!! Secondly, a disclaimer: Tuffy ain’t no doctor, mmmkay?! So go to your OB/GYN to get REAL advice! But in the meantime, here’s what I got:

I’m going mostly by Planned Parenthood, so you can check out the link here:

(BTW!!! If you don’t have insurance and need to see an OB/GYN, Planned Parenthood is a great resource!!! Clicky click that link!) Basically, if you’re going to have sex and you don’t want a baby, you have to use protection. If you’re also worried about STDs (which MOST of you should be!!!), you need to use a condom and that’s pretty much that. You could kind of use a female condom, but those seem to be slightly less effective and have a few downsides (may be uncomfy, can slip inside you during sex, etc.). CONDOMS, people. CONDOMS!!! There are also a bunch of options you can use WITH condoms to prevent pregnancy.

Some women like the diaphragm. It’s fairly effective but it doesn’t protect, of course, from STDs. It’s like a little cup you insert in your hooha. It’s nice and inexpensive and each one lasts for about two years.

Then, of course, there’s the ever-popular birth control pill. Be careful when you go on these, since they do pump you full of hormones and some people have serious side effects. (Read up here.) Really wonderful for some women, really harmful for others. Remember, the pill does NOT protect against STDs!!!

Similarly, there’s the sponge. It soaks up the spermies and kills ‘em. Check but not as effective as we’d like.

Then there’s the patch, which is quite effective (for pregnancy, NOT STDs!). You have to wear it. Like an accessory. Same hormonal risks, but, again, great for some.

The shot: Depo-Provera. Very easy, lasts three months a shot. A little more expensive because it’s more convenient.

NuvaRing: an insertion thingy. VERY effective but pricey and a little risky. Read up, kids.

Aaaand the birth control implant. Very expensive up front but lasts three years. Mostly pretty safe, from what I understand.

I mean, basically, you just have to do your research and talk to your doctor. I applaud you for being responsible!!!!!!!! Please, kids, protect your bodies and your futures!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv. Or smash.

Louis Vuitton has always been the signifier of luxury lifestyle: suitcases, satchels and…contraception? Pictures of a monogrammed condom have been spreading faster than an STI after Halloween, and it’s said to sell for a whopping $68. Because when wrapping it up in such a fashion, the sex will definitely be better than when using the free condoms given out on campus, right?! Talk about getting some serious bang for your buck.

Oh, and by the way, it’s also supposed to be a gift that gives back, since a portion of the proceeds are said to benefit amfAR, the American Foundation for AIDS Research. Sure, it costs a pretty penny, but can you really put a price on sex that could potentially save lives?!?

This just sounds way too good/ridiculous/hilarious to be true…

Technically, a Louis Vuitton condom exists, as in there are condoms with the Louis Vuitton monogram being made. But according to the “official” website LouisVuittonCondom.com (and contrary to what many other blogs are reporting), the branded contraception isn’t actually from the luxury brand at all. In fact, the product was “designed” by Georgia Republic architect Irakli Kiziria, a man just trying to make a buck off of another man’s money, really. Oh, and possibly raise some money for amfAR too.

From what I can tell, the entire purpose of fake luxury items is to show them off to others and pretend that you really do live enough of the high life to carry a couple thousand on your forearm like it’s nothing at all. So why would something as private as a condom ever be enticing to produce as an imitation? Actually, it’s a fake version of an item that doesn’t actually exist. And it’s disposable after a single use…and who knows how safe that single use actually is anyway, since it’s coming from an architect instead of a reputable brand.

Thank goodness this isn’t actually a condom produced by Louis Vuitton. And even if the fashion house did go into luxury contraception, I highly doubt that monogrammed ridges would be any more enjoyable.

Ashley is a UC San Diego grad who is holding on way too tightly to a potential career in magazines and goes to Vegas all too often. She’s fascinated with celebrities and strawberry beer and doubles as a pathological texter/emailer/blogger. Feed the addiction with tweets @cashleelee. Thanks in advance.

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

But this time, by the luck of the draw, I happened to get a check-up from someone that (gasp!) actually knew what they were talking about. I’m not saying you should listen to this doctor (nurse practitioner, if you want to get technical) instead of your own, but these are a few little known facts I picked up that I thought I would share.

Beware, as these tidbits may scare you away from sex for life (or at least for the night).

1. In order for your birth control to be 99.7% effective, you must take it every day within 30 minutes of the same time.
Apparently, the hormones that make you temporarily infertile only work for 24 straight hours. According to Susan (the nurse practitioner), you should be okay if you miss the time by 1 to 2 hours. If you miss more than that, however, you should use condoms for at least a week.

2. If you don’t take birth control at the same time every day, the effectiveness can be as low as 92%.
For all of you that have taken statistics, that means you have an 8% chance of getting preggers. Let me say that clearer: the chance of you having a small person come out of you in 9 months is 26 times higher if you don’t take your b.c. regularly. Noooo, thank you. (For more important facts about your pill, click here.)

3. Some STDs, especially HIV, have an incubation period of up to 6 months.
That means that even if you are negative for the disease today, you won’t be in the clear until you have another negative test 6 months from now. And that only applies if you haven’t engaged in any high-risk sexual activity. In short, make him wrap it up.

4. You can get HIV easier from oral-anal contact aka “rimming” (the grossest sex slang ever) than from any other form of oral sex.
This one was in a Safe Sex pamphlet that Susan so generously gave me. Not that I’m recommending that everybody run and try this one out, but just use that fact to put things into perspective. Or as a very handy excuse to say no if/when your partner ever puts in such a request.

5. Alcohol and drugs can weaken your immune system, making you more susceptible to infection.
Yes kids, that includes STDs and other icky things. I can also testify that being drunk makes having sex, especially enjoyable sex, just that much more difficult to maneuver. What’s more, according to my lovely pamphlet, alcohol and drugs can also impair your judgment and make you do things you may regret in the morning. Who knew?

In this day and age, it seems like every one of my friends is on the birth control pill.  However, unlike most girls, most of my friends went on the pill to have sex at the end of high school, and simply stayed on it to enter college.  And while most people know the basics of birth control, few people ever bother to read the fine print.  So here are some of the most important things that you should know (i.e. all the stuff that’s on that little packet of info you throw out every month):

1.   Being on antibiotics can make the pill less effective

This is something that most girls do not know, but is often the most common mistake that girls on the pill make.  Even if you are taking your pill at the exact same time every day, if you are on antibiotics, they are working so hard to fight viruses that they can sometimes fight the effects of the pill.  If you are taking antibiotics, but are still healthy enough to be having sex, use a backup form of birth control.

2.   You may not get your period every month

As I personally learned from being on Loestrin 24, sometimes the pill may make your period so light that it will disappear for months at a time.  While you should probably get a pregnancy test just to be on the safe side, missing your period for a month or two DOES NOT mean that you are pregnant.

3.   Missing one pill means that you should use a backup form of birth control for the next SEVEN DAYS

Even though you might think that missing a pill in the first week of your pack isn’t a big deal, everybody has a different cycle and not using an additional birth control method, like a condom, can lead to pregnancy. And the effects last longer than the 24 hours that pill was good for. To stay completely safe, use an extra form of birth control for a full week. The only time it is okay to miss a pill and not risk pregnancy is if it is one of your placebos.

4.   The pill does not protect against AIDS and other STDs

While this might be obvious to a lot of us, many people think that the pill has the same effects as a condom.  This is completely and totally wrong.  While the pill protects you against pregnancy, it offers you 0% protection against STDS, so using it doesn’t give you an excuse to have a drunken one-night stand and know that you’re protected.  You might be protected from a future child, but that doesn’t mean that you are immune to everything your sexual partner has.

5.   Generic versions are basically the same

Many people pay up to $30.00 a month for the pill, meaning that they will spend $360.00 a year on birth control.  For those people on a tight budget, ask your OB-GYN about generic versions.  While they might not look as fancy, they are just as effective, and most importantly, they will protect you against pregnancy and give you a chance to splurge on an extra pair of shoes.

6.   Heat and moisture make the pill less effective

The best place to keep your pack of pills is probably in a cool drawer away from heat and moisture.  However, this is not always practical, especially if you want to ensure you take your pill the same time every day.  My advice is to grab a little pouch lying around (I use one of my old minuscule wristlets) and keep nothing but your pills in there. And DON’T store them in the bathroom! If you are going to be outside, shove your purse under a table or in the shade.  It never hurts to be just a little bit safer.

7.   All pills are not the same

When you begin taking the pill, you might get your period once every two weeks.  You might have mood swings.  You might have an ultra-light flow. All of this is totally normal.  However, if this continues after a couple of months, there is no harm in switching to another brand.  Sometimes girls have to try out four or five pills to find the right ones for their body, so if after two or three months you are still feeling down, don’t suffer in silence.  Call your OB-GYN and learn about other options.

Remember, the pill is one of the best things out there, but like every other form of birth control, it needs to be used responsibly to have the maximum effect.  If you have something else about the pill you want your fellow CC readers to know, comment away and share the knowledge below!

There are a lot of decisions to be made in a long-term relationship — whose friends to hang out with more often, if and when to cohabit, whose place to crash at more often, and what you’d both like the future to look like. Once sex enters the relationship – whether if it’s on the first date or on the first night of marriage, there comes a whole new set of decisions to make.

For most couples, I think it’s fair to say that the go-to contraceptive plan usually involves condoms and some form of birth control (we were always told that two methods are better than one). Once that decision has been made and acted upon, the following months of getting-to-know-each other getting it on are usually passion-filled and use enough latex to make David Suzuki’s earth-loving head explode.

But regardless of what we’ve been taught, and regardless of how much we know we should be using condoms every single time no matter what, there does typically come a time in which the “should we go bareback” conversation will inevitably arise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge proponent of safe sex, and I would never suggest going condomless outside of an LTR or without a backup form of birth control, but let’s be real here – it feels better and it’s just so much more convenient.

Yeah, I went there.

That said, there are some major issues to think about before you can even consider ditching the ‘domers.

Condoms are the only thing that protect against STIs. If you’re seriously considering removing condoms from your sex life (or at the very least, not making them an every-single-time necessity), you and your partner should consider being screened for any detectable infections. Yeah, that’s right, the detectable ones. Not all STIs can be screened for. Herpes, for example, can only be detected during an outbreak, and many other infections show no symptoms. Going condomless is a risk, and before doing so you need to seriously consider the repercussions.

Birth control, birth control, birth control. Unless you are hoping to start a family, going without a condom and not using another form of BC shouldn’t be an option. Acquire a form of birth control you feel comfortable with and can reliably take when you’re supposed to. Remember, taking that pill at the same time every day can be the difference between a pregnancy and a fetus-free uterus. Women’s Health has a great page that details the success/failure rates of different forms of birth control, which is a great place to start if you’re looking for a contraceptive that’s right for you.

Plan ahead. Even if you take your pill every day, or pull out right on time, or hell, even if you’re still using condoms, sometimes accidents happen. And by accidents I mean pregnancy. I think having sex with anyone needs to be prefaced with the conversation of what would be done if such an accident were to happen – and when you completely remove the semen-vagina barrier, that conversation becomes even more crucial. Are you and your partner on the same page as to what would happen in the case of an unplanned pregnancy? Do you know where to go to procure an abortion, or who to talk to about adoption? What would your life look like if you had a child now? All important things to figure out.

Like any other risky behavior, there’s a way to go about condom-free sex in a responsible way. It’s a personal choice, since the consequences are going to have to be dealt with by you and your partner. But what do you think — is going condomless worth it?

Use these.

Well, it’s back to school time again. Along with new teachers, new classes, and new assloads of work, we’re also going to be finding ourselves in a sea of new faces – which means one thing: fresh meat.

Whether you’re a freshman or a senior, college campuses everywhere will be packed with new people to party with, new people to study with, and yes, new people to have sex with. We all know the first few months of school are typically when the hormones of many kick in (this goes back to the “fresh meat” thing), and people everywhere are gettin’ busy. A lot.

So before we all pack up our stuff, say goodbye to free food and laundry and head back to school, here are a few STI facts to keep in mind when checking out all those new sexual prospects come September.

1 in 5 Americans are infected with an STI – That’s right, folks, 1 in 5. That means, in your class of 100, there’s a chance that somewhere near 20 people could be infected with some sort of STI. See now why it’s important to always use a condom?

The three most common STIs include Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and HPV. Luckily, many of us are eligible for the HPV vaccine which will almost completely eliminate our chance of contracting the forms of HPV that can lead to nasty genital and cervical cancers.

While most STIs can be treated with antibiotics and other medications, HIV, HPV, hepitits-B and herpes are incurable. While these diseases can be managed with the help of medication, you will (typically) carry the virus for life. Now, imagine having to have the “just so you know, I have herpes” talk with all of your future partners. Not so fun.

While most of us associate an STI with changes in our genitals (itching, burning, weird discharge), oftentimes there are no symptoms. The only way to be sure that you are STI-free is by getting tested regularly by your doctor – a simple routine that can be conducted at the same time that you get your annual PAP (or whenever it’s possible that you’ve been exposed to something). Women should be seeing a doctor for their annual physical/PAP smear once a year beginning when they become sexually active. If you do have symptoms, be sure to get to your doctor – your symptoms won’t go away just because you pretend they’re not there.

The good news is that most schools and health clinics offer free condoms to students and patients – some even offering a polyurethane alternative for those with latex allergies. We all know that condoms can be a little pricey, but stopping by the clinic and taking what you need is a perfectly reasonable alternative. Colleges go out of their way to make these resources available to their students because they know the importance of safe sex.

There is no excuse for putting your health at risk by having unsafe sex. Go out and have fun, but remember to get tested regularly and always, always, always use a condom.

[Everyone’s got a morning after story and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]

One night in the beginning of the semester, my roommates and I decided to drink tequila (read: my clothes would come off). A few hours in, I started to get the itch and texted the last boy I made out with. He was at a party and I was so desperate for some lovin’ that I walked there by myself. When I got there, he was making out with another girl.

But that didn’t stop me.

I hung around the party for awhile, drinking and mingling, until I finally decided this was bullsh*t and I was going home. As soon as I grew a backbone and walked out the door, he texted me to wait for him, and of course I did. He came out to meet me after 15 long minutes and we went back to his frat house.

Once in his room, things started getting hot and heavy, so I asked if he had a condom. He got up, walked over to a drawer to put one on, and then came back to continue…well, you know.

After a few minutes (seriously, like 3) we were done and I excused myself to use the bathroom. Had I had my wits about me I would have slipped my shoes on before walking into that cesspool, but I didn’t. And it was gross. Anyway, I finished my business and tip-toed back to his room. I got back into his queen-sized bed and tried to go to sleep.  As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was met with the oh-so-polite response of “um, yeah, you could either walk home or stay the night.” I was obviously staying, dumb ass. Hence the whole “getting into bed” thing. He continued:

“But if you stay over, you can’t sleep in my bed. I have personal space issues.”

Umm, EXCUSE ME!?!? This guy whose “personal space” was just inside my “personal space” was now telling to sleep on the futon? I stared at him, dumbfounded.

“I seriously have issues, you can ask my mom,” he said. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. Call up the mother of my one-night-stand to confirm deep-seated psychological problems.

Instead, I threw the covers off, put my dress back on (sans panties, but I was not about to stick around any longer looking for them), and walked right out the door. All the way back to my place, alone, in the middle of the night. It was cold, it was shady, and my feet hurt like a mofo, but there was no way in hell I was spending a second on some jerky frat boy’s dirty futon. There was not enough tequila in the world to make me do that.

Throughout the years, MTV has thrown some bizarre ideas for reality shows our way.  Some catch the attention of the nation while others fall through the cracks.  While watching MTV (daily) I find myself screaming at the TV, “WHAT is the point of this show??”  Entertainment value, usually.  That is if you can call watching guys pick a date based on the underwear a girl has in her drawer, entertainment. (Thanks, Room Raiders).  However, what about the shows that may have actually been created for a real reason?

Let’s rewind.  Teen Mom.  Yes, like most people, I am obsessed.  I am still trying to figure out what Catelynn has that I don’t (besides braces, a trailer, and a 1995 JCPenny homecoming dress) that makes Tyler choose HER over me.  SO unfair.  But back to my point: as I watched the finale of Teen Mom last week and gear up for tonight’s reunion episode with Dr. Drew, I’m really starting to wonder what MTV was trying to do with this show.

Was it for entertainment value? Sure, listening to Gary recite a definition of the word “empathy” during the finale was extremely entertaining, but teen pregnancy is a huge issue; is MTV trying to take a stance? Are they trying to educate teens about the horrors of teen pregnancy? Maybe trying to prevent it? You would think by airing this show, MTV could position themselves as advocates to prevent teen pregnancy and use the show as an education tool, while also providing entertainment. 

And if that was the intent, I have a couple issues with how it was seen through.

Personally, I did not find the show realistic.  Throughout the season, Farrah was the only teen mom who did not have the baby’s father in the picture.  I’m not implying that the other moms are leading ideal lives with their outstanding boyfriends, but Catelynn, Amber, and Maci all got pregnant by their boyfriend at the time.  These were guys that they were having consensual sex with regularly.  Although Gary and Ryan may go down in history as two of the worst boyfriends ever, throughout the season they are shown trying to make their relationships “work” in the best interest of their new child.

Farrah, on the other hand, although not with the father of her child, lives at home with her mother and father.   It is evident that Farrah has grown up pretty fortunately and has an extremely comfortable living situation.  The “hardships” Farrah faces include not being able to party with her friends all the time, and not being able to find a boyfriend who is ready to date a girl with a kid.  Yes these things might be difficult for her, but in the scheme of teen pregnancy they are quite trivial.  Her parents are always there to help out, and support her both emotionally and financially. The same is true for the rest of the teen moms on the show.

If MTV was trying to educate about teen pregnancy and the perils of dealing with it, why not show girls who are even less fortunate?  What about the ones out there who are really on their own?  There are plenty of girls who come from uneducated, broken families, who get pregnant and have no escape, and no chance at a better life.  Some live their whole lives on welfare and in many cases do not know who the father is.  My feeling is that MTV chose these specific moms because the typical viewer could relate to them better than a girl whose life has really been ruined by teen pregnancy.  If this is the case, then why didn’t MTV even show how truly hard raising a child as a teenager is?  There is not one clip throughout the whole season of one of the moms staying up the whole night with a crying baby, or cleaning up vomit.  I don’t want to go as far as to say that MTV “glamorized” being a teen mom, but I don’t think the show will leave any viewers thinking “Oh my god, this CANNOT happen to me, I better take precaution.”

And speaking of precaution, MTV never hit on the topic of prevention.  I don’t remember any of the girls being interviewed as to why birth control was not used during sex. Was it a one time slip-up with no condom?  Too afraid to ask their parents? No resources? These questions never surfaced throughout the season.  And furthermore, I find it extremely unrealistic to not mention abortion on the topic of teen pregnancy.  The a-word was non-existent throughout the series, but in reality, it is an option.  Most people have strong opinions on the subject, being either completely against it or for it.  But just because it would have stirred up controversy, does that mean MTV should have ignored it completely? If they wanted to use their power to educate teens and lay all the options on the table, why wasn’t it even mentioned?

So besides making me fall in love with Tyler, what was MTV’s purpose in producing this show? Do you think they portrayed teen pregnancy realistically?  Share your thoughts, peeps!

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, like our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – like post-sex soreness – so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I found out that I have HPV. So, having sex with my boyfriend, does that mean he has HPV too? And if either of us perform oral sex – can the warts then be transferred to our mouths? Will this lead to cancer? On the paper I got back from the doctor it said to come back in 12 months for another pap smear; will it get worse by then? I’m nervous.

A: HPV can be a sneaky bastard. Unlike sexually transmitted infections like gonorrhea and chlamydia, HPV can hang around, unexpressed and asymptomatic, then suddenly rear its ugly head with little warning. Chances are that your partner also has HPV. In fact, chances are good that your boyfriend gave it to you. But it’s possible you could have contracted it from a prior partner and that he doesn’t have it. No way to know for certain, so the best strategy is to behave as if he doesn’t have it, just to protect him.

It’s unclear to me whether you have warts already or whether your HPV just came up on a pap smear. If it’s just a pap smear, chances are good that you carry the type of HPV that causes abnormal paps and cervical cancer, but not genital warts. The good news about this for your partner is that these strains of HPV tend to cause nothing in guys (which is why guys are passing it around like candy. They don’t even know they have it).

If you do have warts, you’ll want to be a bit more careful.  While condoms can help reduce the chance of transmitting warts, they can’t protect you completely. Because the condom only covers the shaft of the penis, it leaves vulnerable scrotal skin in contact with potentially infections coochie skin, so it’s important for him to realize that he may still wind up with warts.

As for oral sex, yes, laryngeal warts (warts in the larynx) have been reported. But they’re very rare. HPV tends to prefer the genitals and the anal area, so oral sex is relatively safe. If you want to be uber careful, you can use a dental dam to protect your boyfriend when he’s going down on you, and if you’re worried, have him wear a condom. (I know, it’s not sexy, but it is safe).

If your doc told you to wait a year to repeat your pap smear, I would wait a year. While abnormalities on paps can get worse, they change very slowly, and as long as you don’t miss a pap, you should be fine. Most of all, though, don’t worry. HPV is more of a nuisance than a life-threatening disease, as long as you listen to what your doctor recommends. I know it can be scary and embarrassing, but I commend you for trying to get the information straight. Take a deep breath. Now, let go of any anger, frustration, or shame you feel around this. And let it go. Stressing about HPV only makes it worse. You’ll be fine, sweetie.

For more about HPV, visit my website Owning Pink

- Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in Fall 2010. She invites you to join her Pink online community (www.owningpink.com/forum) or read more of her writing at Owning Pink (www.owningpink.com).