5 Things everyone should know about condoms

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Every time I see a banana, I can’t help but think of the health class scene in Never Been Kissed. Who else remembers that? They practice putting condoms on bananas, and it’s just as epically awkward as my high school health class.

I think we tend to assume that most people who have made it to college know how to use a condom. But a friend of mine is a peer health educator, and as part of a yearly event, her group challenges people to see if they can properly put on a condom. Using bananas, of course. And most people make at least one mistake. Yikes! When it comes to pregnancy and STDs, I don’t want any mistakes, ever.

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Are condoms really necessary?

There was a study completed recently about college-aged women and condom usage, and the results were that the women used condoms less frequently the more time they spent in college. This was true for both women in monogamous relationships and women who engaged in casual sex.

Of course, women often blow off condoms when they go on the pill or another form of birth control, but preventing pregnancy isn’t the only aspect of safe sex that is important. Condoms are the only way to prevent the spread of most STDs (HPV and herpes not included). Maybe this is just my perception, but it seems like in the last few years, there has been a huge de-emphasis in the importance of staying STD-free. There’s still a significant stigma against people who have them, but not a lot of talk about preventing the spread. I think it’s interesting that this study chose to highlight women’s role in condom usage, when ultimately, it’s up to the guy to agree to wear one (yes, female condoms are available, but they’re more expensive and more difficult to use properly, and they are not really discussed).

How many of us have been in a situation where we’re hooking up and the guy just slides in without much warning? Or how many of us have encountered men who are absurdly petulant when their partner asks them to put one on? They always have a litany of excuses or justifications — “It doesn’t feel as good”/”I can’t stay hard with one on”/”I’m clean, don’t you trust me?” This is the point where you should definitely extricate yourself from the situation, because he’s obviously a jerk and isn’t looking out for your best interests. Unfortunately, when you’re in the moment it doesn’t always feel that way, especially if neither of you have condoms handy.

While there is a lot to be said about moving slowly enough to take the time to confirm each other’s STD status, that’s often not how it happens. Which is…well, it is what it is. But that’s what condoms are for — avoiding the semi-awkwardness that comes with asking someone to show you their recent STD results before getting it in. I think that our society is neglecting to really make condoms seem imperative, so unfortunately there are going to be men out there who treat condoms like they’re completely unnecessary. And it’s hard to be that person who has to inform a grown man that they are, in fact, a must.

However, since we can only control our own actions, I think it’s really important for us, as women, to at least use the agency that we have to protect ourselves. There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping a stock of condoms, and having a couple in your bag, just in case. So even if you’re in a situation with a guy who conveniently doesn’t have one on him, you’re prepared. If he still resists, take your ball, go home and resolve to find less lame guys in the future.

[Lead image via Dino O./Shutterstock]

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Valentine’s Day has a truly obnoxious reputation. In its most popular form, I find it a totally worthless and empty affair. Couples are expected to fall over themselves to celebrate this totally arbitrary day in February because that’s what’s expected. There’s all of this make-or-break pressure that is usually put on the guys to make it the most romantic day ever, and us ladies are supposed to be shrieking, superficial harpies desperate for blood diamonds, overpriced chocolate, flowers that will die in two seconds and a dinner that breaks the bank. Heaven forbid you’re single, then you are expected to be utterly miserable because your life obviously has no meaning. It’s a mess.

Therefore, I’m totally up for reclaiming this day and making it about sexy self-indulgence. That’s definitely something our society doesn’t value nearly as much as it should; and I mean, who isn’t in love with feeling sexy and sensual, whether it’s for a partner or for yourself?  I was given the incredible opportunity to review an array of sexy products. While a few of them are couple-centric, the vast majority are totally appropriate if you’re riding solo.

initiating the gallery...

In accordance with FTC guidelines, I must disclose that I was given these products free exchange in exchange for my honest assessment. 

[Lead image via Zametalov/Shutterstock]

I was struck with complete disbelief after reading about a woman who, despite using multiple forms of birth control, keeps getting pregnant. Like, pregnant seven times in 5 years. Like, she and her husband only had sex three times since September and she’s currently expecting another kid. Did I mention she’s tried the Pill, condoms, injections and an IUD…and they still don’t work? Yeah, after the shock wore off, I came to the conclusion that this woman is full of it.

Was she really using condoms all this time? Or was she actually on the pill or had the shot? What are the odds after practicing every form of contraceptives known to man that NONE work on 23-year-old Gemma Potter? What causes her genetic makeup to be so incredibly different from most other females on earth? There is no sperm that strong and no contraceptive that weak. I think she might be yearning for some extra media attention or her husband might be slipping off that condom during hot and heavy lovemaking. I mean, hey, it’s in the heat of the moment, how could she ever tell?

Condoms and birth control have proven to be extremely effective to the greater public. As an adolescent teenager growing up, “safe sex is the best sex” is all I ever heard. If I remember correctly, I think there was an actual song to go with that slogan…but anyways that’s beside the point! The point is, everyone is taught to wear condoms or get on birth control if you don’t want to get pregnant! Those methods have been tested hundreds of times by well-educated doctors and scientists who know what they are doing. So the real question is, if she is not lying, she is not using contraceptives the right way. There is no way in Hell they could have failed her seven times in a row.

Let’s face it, after the first, second and third baby that came during her supposedly “protected” sex, what person in their right mind would rely on any other form of protection to work for them? Obviously the form of protection she’s using is being used incorrectly, so she needs to seek guidance on the matter.

If all else fails, the answer is quite simple actually. DON’T HAVE SEX AS MUCH or GET YOUR TUBES TIED! Potter complained about not having a real career or actually being able to go out and have a drink with her girlfriends because she is pregnant all the time. Do you want to ultimately be knocked up your whole life and therefore exist broke and friendless, or do you want your life back? The question is simple, Ms. Potter.

Ultimately, I recommend these two energizer bunnies go back to Sex Ed classes and learn the correct ways to practice safe sex, because they obviously missed the memo. I wish the two of them the best and a baby-free future. Good luck!

What do you think? Are these two really being careful and Ms. Potter is simply an ultra-fertile Myrtle? Are they missing a crucial step along the way when using condoms, the Pill or another method?

Maya is a freshman print journalism major attending Howard University in Washington D.C. She loves fashion, beauty, and all things glamorous. Follow her on tumblr at myprincessdiaryxoxo.tumblr.com or on twitter at @Mayaalena

At least that’s the mission behind the hot, new, perfectly plaid-patterned condom company, Sir Richard’s condoms.

In honor of National World AIDS day, we wanted to give it up (pun intended) to a fairly new company that makes it their mission to help out countries in need. I recently met with one of Sir Richard’s leading ladies, Mia, to talk about their company, their philosophy and their branding.

The company was founded on the belief that buying condoms is just plain awkward. You feel like everyone is looking at you, judging you and saying a Hail Mary in your honor. They’re forgetting to recognize that you’re practicing the delicate art of safe sex. Sir Richards smartly created a brand that is, for lack of a more eloquent adjective, cute. Their packaging actually makes me want to buy a couple condom boxes and put them on display.

Personally, I find the subtle “Sir Richards Condoms” label on the bottom right to be way less in your face then some of the other leading condom brands out there and different colors represent the different types (pink for pleasure dots, blue for extra-large, green for classic ribbed and orange for ultra-thin). It’s the kind of marketing tactic that would make me feel a little less awkward running into the grocery store at 3am.

Sir Richard’s is also partnering up with local artists, activists and companies like Partners in Health (PIH) to one-up the rest of the sexual awareness industry. Co-creating a condom brand that is used in PIH’s 12 clinics, Sir Richards has made condoms free in Haitian healthcare communities. And that’s just the beginning. After they launch the donation base in Haiti in early 2012, Sir Richards plans to keep on givin’.

Company execs have a big plan for America, too. For every condom you buy, they will donate one to a developing country. So that means Sir Richard’s has roots in America, Haiti and neighboring third world countries where sexual awareness is limited and sexually transmitted diseases are running rampant. The payoff for thousands of kinky college kids? We’re basically helping thousands of people get protected every time we use a rubber! You’re welcome, world.

Before walking out of our meeting with a goodie-bag of condoms and four separate boxes to give to friends (maybe I’m the new naughty Santa?) I learned a little bit about Sir Richard’s college tour bus. Lovingly nicknamed “Lucy,” the bus has already traveled up and down the Cali coast, stopping and spreading the word about their condoms. They’ve got plans to hit the Northeast on the tail end of spring semester in 2012 and they want to hear from you! While their tour dates haven’t been confirmed yet, they’d love to know what schools would be interested in a visit. Hop on over to their site and see how you can invite them to your campus.

Their product has exceeded FDA standards and they’re made from 100% natural latex, omitting caseins (which make them vegan friendly!) and lubed up without spermicide, glycerin and parabens. As of now, Sir Richard’s can be found and purchased at any Whole Foods Market (where they’re a top-shelf seller), upscale boutiques, independent grocers or boutiques on the West Coast.  Not near any of those? Find them online where you can sign up for a monthly subscription.

Gettin’ it on and givin’ back. I could get used to that.

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Getting to know someone else’s body is a learning process. Sometimes there’s a very steep curve, depending on level of intuitiveness, experience and communication. Some people can pick up cues far quicker and better than others and all is well, while sometimes…you’re laying on your back, staring at the ceiling and thinking of your to-do list for the next six months. Five behaviors I’ve had the displeasure of enjoying enduring are…

1. Sloppy kissing
Kissing is a truly crucial component of hooking up. In fact, I’d go so far as to call it a crucial life skill. While we all have different kissing styles, and sometimes they won’t align. Things like too much drool, excessive suction and a complete inability to find a good angle are obnoxious to endure.

2. Not wrapping it up
Guys who don’t take responsibility for their role in pregnancy and STD prevention are trouble. Not wearing a condom or pouting about wearing a condom is immature and disgusting. No, condoms are not absolutely ideal, but neither is gonorrhea or a baby. Part of being ready to have sex means being ready to take on the risk prevention that is necessary to have a stress free sex life.

3. A lack of appreciation
I love to feel…savored. When a guy looks like he could easily spend the rest of his life getting familiar with every part of my body, that is super arousing. On the other hand, when a guy looks like he’s phoning it in because he’s thinking about his fantasy football league and is quickly going through the motions, I become equally as disengaged.

4. Insecurity
We all get nervous when we’re nude. That’s totally understandable and normal. But asking every five seconds “Do you like this?”, “Is this okay?” and giving me lost puppy dog eyes is thoroughly unsexy. I used to do this too, and it wasn’t until I was on the other end that I realized how off-putting it is. Communication is good. Constantly needing validation is not.

5. No reciprocation
I love to give head. I truly do. I think it’s fun and I feel totally sexy and submissive when I do it. So it’s not like I only give head so I can get head in exchange. That said…it would be nice.  Some people have a fear of cunnilingus and I get that. The vaginal area is not quite as straightforward as a penis. But how would you ever learn if you don’t practice, right? When a guy doesn’t even make moves towards going down on me, I become incredibly self-conscious. I wonder if I smell or if I taste “bad.” That doesn’t exactly inspire a ton of self-confidence and it definitely doesn’t conjure up positive associations with my partner.

I want your input! What are your ultimate turn-offs?