CollegeCandy » condoms

When Safe Sex Goes Horribly Wrong

Maya - howard — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 20:30:31 +0000

I was struck with complete disbelief after reading about a woman who, despite using multiple forms of birth control, keeps getting pregnant. Like, pregnant seven times in 5 years. Like, she and her husband only had sex three times since September and she’s currently expecting another kid. Did I mention she’s tried the Pill, condoms, injections and an IUD…and they still don’t work? Yeah, after the shock wore off, I came to the conclusion that this woman is full of it.

Was she really using condoms all this time? Or was she actually on the pill or had the shot? What are the odds after practicing every form of contraceptives known to man that NONE work on 23-year-old Gemma Potter? What causes her genetic makeup to be so incredibly different from most other females on earth? There is no sperm that strong and no contraceptive that weak. I think she might be yearning for some extra media attention or her husband might be slipping off that condom during hot and heavy lovemaking. I mean, hey, it’s in the heat of the moment, how could she ever tell?

Condoms and birth control have proven to be extremely effective to the greater public. As an adolescent teenager growing up, “safe sex is the best sex” is all I ever heard. If I remember correctly, I think there was an actual song to go with that slogan…but anyways that’s beside the point! The point is, everyone is taught to wear condoms or get on birth control if you don’t want to get pregnant! Those methods have been tested hundreds of times by well-educated doctors and scientists who know what they are doing. So the real question is, if she is not lying, she is not using contraceptives the right way. There is no way in Hell they could have failed her seven times in a row.

Let’s face it, after the first, second and third baby that came during her supposedly “protected” sex, what person in their right mind would rely on any other form of protection to work for them? Obviously the form of protection she’s using is being used incorrectly, so she needs to seek guidance on the matter.

If all else fails, the answer is quite simple actually. DON’T HAVE SEX AS MUCH or GET YOUR TUBES TIED! Potter complained about not having a real career or actually being able to go out and have a drink with her girlfriends because she is pregnant all the time. Do you want to ultimately be knocked up your whole life and therefore exist broke and friendless, or do you want your life back? The question is simple, Ms. Potter.

Ultimately, I recommend these two energizer bunnies go back to Sex Ed classes and learn the correct ways to practice safe sex, because they obviously missed the memo. I wish the two of them the best and a baby-free future. Good luck!

What do you think? Are these two really being careful and Ms. Potter is simply an ultra-fertile Myrtle? Are they missing a crucial step along the way when using condoms, the Pill or another method?

Maya is a freshman print journalism major attending Howard University in Washington D.C. She loves fashion, beauty, and all things glamorous. Follow her on tumblr at myprincessdiaryxoxo.tumblr.com or on twitter at @Mayaalena

Get a Condom, Give a Condom

Kylie - Vermont — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 20:00:03 +0000

At least that’s the mission behind the hot, new, perfectly plaid-patterned condom company, Sir Richard’s condoms.

In honor of National World AIDS day, we wanted to give it up (pun intended) to a fairly new company that makes it their mission to help out countries in need. I recently met with one of Sir Richard’s leading ladies, Mia, to talk about their company, their philosophy and their branding.

The company was founded on the belief that buying condoms is just plain awkward. You feel like everyone is looking at you, judging you and saying a Hail Mary in your honor. They’re forgetting to recognize that you’re practicing the delicate art of safe sex. Sir Richards smartly created a brand that is, for lack of a more eloquent adjective, cute. Their packaging actually makes me want to buy a couple condom boxes and put them on display.

Personally, I find the subtle “Sir Richards Condoms” label on the bottom right to be way less in your face then some of the other leading condom brands out there and different colors represent the different types (pink for pleasure dots, blue for extra-large, green for classic ribbed and orange for ultra-thin). It’s the kind of marketing tactic that would make me feel a little less awkward running into the grocery store at 3am.

Sir Richard’s is also partnering up with local artists, activists and companies like Partners in Health (PIH) to one-up the rest of the sexual awareness industry. Co-creating a condom brand that is used in PIH’s 12 clinics, Sir Richards has made condoms free in Haitian healthcare communities. And that’s just the beginning. After they launch the donation base in Haiti in early 2012, Sir Richards plans to keep on givin’.

Company execs have a big plan for America, too. For every condom you buy, they will donate one to a developing country. So that means Sir Richard’s has roots in America, Haiti and neighboring third world countries where sexual awareness is limited and sexually transmitted diseases are running rampant. The payoff for thousands of kinky college kids? We’re basically helping thousands of people get protected every time we use a rubber! You’re welcome, world.

Before walking out of our meeting with a goodie-bag of condoms and four separate boxes to give to friends (maybe I’m the new naughty Santa?) I learned a little bit about Sir Richard’s college tour bus. Lovingly nicknamed “Lucy,” the bus has already traveled up and down the Cali coast, stopping and spreading the word about their condoms. They’ve got plans to hit the Northeast on the tail end of spring semester in 2012 and they want to hear from you! While their tour dates haven’t been confirmed yet, they’d love to know what schools would be interested in a visit. Hop on over to their site and see how you can invite them to your campus.

Their product has exceeded FDA standards and they’re made from 100% natural latex, omitting caseins (which make them vegan friendly!) and lubed up without spermicide, glycerin and parabens. As of now, Sir Richard’s can be found and purchased at any Whole Foods Market (where they’re a top-shelf seller), upscale boutiques, independent grocers or boutiques on the West Coast. Not near any of those? Find them online where you can sign up for a monthly subscription.

Gettin’ it on and givin’ back. I could get used to that.

Candy Dish: The Royal Wee-Wee

CC Staff — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:00:12 +0000

The Queen of England hates when people hear her pee.Regis strips for Snooki. We wish we were joking.
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Snag some fashion tips inspired by Hairspray.
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The awesome side of weddings.

Sexy Time: Turning Me Off

Jasmine - Northern Arizona University — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 13:30:47 +0000

Getting to know someone else’s body is a learning process. Sometimes there’s a very steep curve, depending on level of intuitiveness, experience and communication. Some people can pick up cues far quicker and better than others and all is well, while sometimes…you’re laying on your back, staring at the ceiling and thinking of your to-do list for the next six months. Five behaviors I’ve had the displeasure of ~~enjoying~~ enduring are…

1. Sloppy kissing
Kissing is a truly crucial component of hooking up. In fact, I’d go so far as to call it a crucial life skill. While we all have different kissing styles, and sometimes they won’t align. Things like too much drool, excessive suction and a complete inability to find a good angle are obnoxious to endure.

2. Not wrapping it up
Guys who don’t take responsibility for their role in pregnancy and STD prevention are trouble. Not wearing a condom or pouting about wearing a condom is immature and disgusting. No, condoms are not absolutely ideal, but neither is gonorrhea or a baby. Part of being ready to have sex means being ready to take on the risk prevention that is necessary to have a stress free sex life.

3. A lack of appreciation
I love to feel…savored. When a guy looks like he could easily spend the rest of his life getting familiar with every part of my body, that is super arousing. On the other hand, when a guy looks like he’s phoning it in because he’s thinking about his fantasy football league and is quickly going through the motions, I become equally as disengaged.

4. Insecurity
We all get nervous when we’re nude. That’s totally understandable and normal. But asking every five seconds “Do you like this?”, “Is this okay?” and giving me lost puppy dog eyes is thoroughly unsexy. I used to do this too, and it wasn’t until I was on the other end that I realized how off-putting it is. Communication is good. Constantly needing validation is not.

5. No reciprocation
I love to give head. I truly do. I think it’s fun and I feel totally sexy and submissive when I do it. So it’s not like I only give head so I can get head in exchange. That said…it would be nice. Some people have a fear of cunnilingus and I get that. The vaginal area is not quite as straightforward as a penis. But how would you ever learn if you don’t practice, right? When a guy doesn’t even make moves towards going down on me, I become incredibly self-conscious. I wonder if I smell or if I taste “bad.” That doesn’t exactly inspire a ton of self-confidence and it definitely doesn’t conjure up positive associations with my partner.

I want your input! What are your ultimate turn-offs?

Body Blog: Male Birth Control?

Garnet Henderson – Columbia U — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 16:00:16 +0000

Male and female condoms. Birth control pills, shots, patches and rings. As a smart, independent college woman, you’re no doubt familiar with the range of contraceptive options. But soon, a new one may be added to the list – male hormonal birth control.

Over the last several years, hints at the possibility of a reversible form of male birth control have popped up here and there. But new research is providing evidence that a safe, effective form of hormonal birth control for guys is well within reach. And the idea has already built up strong support. This month, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation will hold a conference to discuss the recent advances in male birth control research.

There are several potential forms of birth control for men, all of which are being thoroughly researched. One method is very similar to existing female birth control pills. It uses the hormones testosterone and progestin to send signals to the body to stop producing sperm. However, there are still issues with side effects for this method in some men. One side effect may surprise you – drinking alcohol when taking these drugs makes patients sick. So, maybe this one isn’t quite ready for college.

Another method involves injecting a gel to inactive sperm into the scrotum. The third method uses an ultrasound to briefly heat the testes, which stops sperm production for months. And, similar to hormone pills, another method involves a hormone implant.

All of these methods have been shown to be reversible, unlike existing procedures such as the vasectomy. More extensive research will be needed to make sure that these forms of birth control really are safe and reliable. But scientists are optimistic – some estimate that a male birth control daily pill could be on the market within 5 to 7 years, and implants may be available even sooner.

This is great news for ladies who may have problems with hormonal birth control. It could also be nice for couples who prefer to avoid condoms for whatever reason – although, as always, no form of hormonal birth control can protect against STDs. So don’t pitch your condom stash just yet!

What do you think? Would you want your boyfriend/friend with benefits/random hookup to try male birth control? And do you think guys will even go for this in the first place? Let us know what you think!

Tuffy Luv Sez: CONDOMS!!!!!!!!!!

Sara - NYU — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 19:00:39 +0000

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Hi, I am confused and have found myself a deer caught in the headlights. Now since I have lost my virginity I have found condoms extremely uncomfortable. I mean to the point where I am in tears from the pain. I have not found the reason behind this, I’ve tried ultrathins and pre-lubricated condoms, I’ve even tried using extra lube. It just hurts. Now whenever I’ve gotten with a guy because of my extreme hate of condoms I try to be as sure as possible they do not have any STDs and we are monogamous, only one person have I ever grinned and beared it with merely on a trust issue. I am also on birth control.

Now up until now this has been a fine arrangement, guys understand it hurts, and if they don’t when they see me cry they rip it off themselves. But I am in a relationship with a guy who is extremely uncomfortable with the idea of not using a condom (mainly due to a recent pregnancy scare). I don’t want to make him compromise his ideals and I don’t want to hurt. What do I do???

-Helpless Condom Hater

Dear Helpless Condom Hater,

USE CONDOMS OR I WILL KILL YOU.

That is, if AIDS doesn’t kill you first. Or, you know, you don’t get any number of horrible, life-long diseases.

I am so disturbed by your letter, helpless condom hater. Yes, you do have a problem. However, instead of skipping condoms and exposing yourself to potential disease, you absolutely MUST go to a doctor.

If I had to guess, Non-Doctor-Aunt-Tuffy would say you probably have a latex allergy. You say the pain is only there when you use a condom, and it happens even with extra lubricant, so latex seems the likely cause.

I guess you can try this before seeing a doctor, if you want: try condoms that are made of Polyurethane. If this works, then you know it’s a latex allergy and you can just use Polyurethane condoms thenceforth and whatever. Do be aware, though, that Polyurethane condoms break more easily, so be careful!

I would urge you, however, to go straight to a doctor. You may actually have already contracted an STD and just not know it. Or you might have some kind of condition you’re unaware of. No matter what, health comes first, yes?! If you don’t have your health, you have nothing. Everything else will suck. I promise. So get thee to a doctor and ask them what’s up.

If the issue is insurance or your parents finding out, you can always go to a Planned Parenthood. They’re all over the place and are much less expensive and discrete.

In the meantime, I’m sorry to tell you, your current guy is absolutely right. You need to find a way to have safe sex. The doctor you see (YOU MUST SEE A DOCTOR!!!) will give you more (and better!) suggestions, but the place to start is by trying non-latex condoms.

Look, you may have already contracted an STD, whether or not that’s what’s causing the condom issue. You absolutely have NO way of knowing your partners were STD-free, even though you seem to think otherwise. You don’t know their sexual histories. They may not even know. And if people continue to have unprotected sex, the rate of STDs increases. Did you know that 1 in 6 Americans now has herpes?! STDs are not a joke, kids. You get herpes, for instance, you’re stuck with it. FOREVER. PLEASE TAKE PRECAUTIONS.

And that’s really not the worst of it. Again, AIDS is still a major problem, and it’s still life-threatening, and even if it’s under control it can cause OTHER problems that may be life-threatening.

Readers, please be mad at each other for not using condoms. We all put each other at risk. Every unprotected person has the chance of infecting some future partner, who may in turn infect another future partner. We’re at an epidemic of STDs. Do we really want a world where it’s dangerous to make love?!

Easily solved. Use protection. Keep each other safe.

And, you know, people who are in monogamous relationships are still at risk. People cheat. All the time. And you may not know it until you wake up with burning pee. Or years later when it’s too late and you’re already quite ill.

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS USE PROTECTION.

Girl, sorry. No more sex for you until you go to the doctor and find a way to use condoms.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Sexy Time: Cashing In Your V-Card

Jasmine - Northern Arizona University — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 13:30:12 +0000

I was absolutely terrified to lose my virginity. I had built it up in my head to be a significant, life-altering step, one that would cement my status as a sexually desirable woman. It turned out to be a disorienting, uncomfortable, disgusting experience that shook my confidence for months. The guy and I were getting hot and heavy, clothes came off, and suddenly he was penetrating me. I went along with it for literally five seconds, and then I rolled off. That was not what I wanted.

There were so many unaddressed factors — he wasn’t wearing a condom, I wasn’t on birth control, I hadn’t exactly consented…it was atrocious. Naturally, I never spoke to that guy again, and quite fortunately, there weren’t any profound consequences. A few month later, I met a new boy and I decided to have sex with him. It was wonderful. Prior to him, with every single “first” experience with a guy was always somewhat traumatic after the fact. I would just feel so anxious, nauseated, and unable to sleep because I would be shaking so hard. This was completely different — I felt calm, content, not upset with myself, and actually excited about having sex again. I think that’s how everyone’s first (and second, and last) experience should be, and this is how I would go about making it happen.

1. Make sure you’re ready.

It’s one thing to be nervous — you’re trying something new, it’s natural. But if you have profound, stomach-turning doubts about being sexually active, don’t do it. If you’re not ready to deal with the possibility of sexually transmitted disease, pregnancy, or even just a flaky partner who stops speaking to you after the deed is done, you’re not ready. Everyone reaches the stage where they’re ready to have sex at different times. I didn’t have sex until I was 21 — not old by any stretch of the imagination, but definitely well after most of my friends had already started doing it. Ignore any pressure you may feel from your friends or anyone else. You’re the one who’s going to be living with the ramifications of your actions.

2. Practice safe sex.

Don’t be afraid to insist on using protection. Some people are completely responsible, and you won’t even have to be the one to bring it up, but some people are a little more…relaxed. Until you are in a monogamous relationship where both parties have been tested and have decided to go condomless.

3. Don’t worry about your inexperience.

If it would make you feel better, feel free to disclose it to your partner. Otherwise, just go with the flow. Enthusiasm, confidence, and a willingness to learn go a long way. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner what they want, and don’t be afraid to share what you want. If you’re with someone of quality, it won’t be too awkward.

4. Prepare your body.

Foreplay it up.

5. Get on top.

One of the best ways to get comfortable in any new situation is to take control. If you’re on top, you control the speed and depth, and it will be easier for you to stop if it gets too painful.

6. Don’t expect to orgasm.

It’s just unlikely to happen. Sex can be overwhelming, and your nerves may get in the way. Maybe the first time will utterly suck just because it wasn’t at all like your imagination. Usually there’s nowhere to go but up.

It’s totally normal to feel a little bit melancholy or just…off after you do it. Cuddle with your partner if you’re up to it, or just go be by yourself. Having sex in and of itself is not a huge deal, but our society attaches so much baggage to virginity that you feel a little bit strange or hollow when you no longer identify as one. Remember that you are still the same person you were prior to having sex, that you are not at all slutty or immoral, and that you are worthy of having sex with again. Those are all things I struggled with after my lame first time. Sex is supposed to be fun, energizing, and exciting, so don’t stress too much and enjoy the ride.

Sex ‘em and Forget ‘em: Everyone’s Doing It!

Kim- Syracuse University — Wed, 25 May 2011 19:00:32 +0000

If there’s any place where causal sex would be seen as the norm, it’s college. People are humping like wild pitts off their leashes, and these days a committed relationship is no longer a requirement for sex. There are so many different things to consider when choosing the perfect freak-and-forget partner though. Even though you’re wrapping it up and taking all STD-free precautions, it’s hard to know who’s a complete sketchball and who’s not. Even still, sex is fun and I can’t think of very many people who ever get tired of chasing the big O.

So, how casual is your sex life? You’d be surprised to know that 8 out of every 10 women up to the age of 63 have had at least one casual sex encounter. Sheesh, that’s a lot of hooking up! Lots of girls are taking part in this no strings attached lifestyle, and they’re revealing all the juicy details in this latest survey from TrésSugar & Self Magazine. For climax confessions and one-night-stands gallore, check out the survey results for yourself. Happy humping!

Candy Dish: Every Women Should Own a Box

CC Staff — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 22:00:06 +0000

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Tuffy Luv Says: Get Comfortable with Sex, Girl

Sara - NYU — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 17:00:09 +0000

Question?! Floop it. Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I recently lost my virginity about a month ago. I’ve had sex a couple times with this guy (we’re dating) and I’m always on the bottom. What do I do while he’s…going into me? I always feel bad because I’m just lying there while he’s going at it pretty hard. I haven’t tried anything because I don’t really want make a mistake and be embarrassed or something. What should I do? This is probably a little awkward to give me tips so if you could me some helpful links that would be so helpful.

Thanks,
Ex-Virgin

Dear Ex-Virgin,
Welp, you came to the right place. Because Aunt Tuffy ain’t givin’ you no helpful links. (Well, okay, I will. But first:) Aunt Tuffy gonna give you some school.

The first rule of ex-virgin club is, you do not talk about ex-virgin club.

Wait, scratch that. It’s the opposite. The first rule of ex-virgin club is, you better be the floop able to talk about it.

Didn’t your momma ever tell you?! IF YOU CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT, DON’T DO IT. In other words, you shouldn’t be effing some guy you don’t feel comfortable talking about sex with. I mean, you’re letting him put his hooho in your hooha. Penis, okay?! SAY PENIS. IF YOU CAN’T SAY PENIS, STOP HAVING SEX.

But, let’s assume you CAN say penis. (SAY IT. He he. Made you say penis.) If you CAN say penis, then you can ask him what he likes. And if you ask him what he likes, chances are, he will tell you. And sex will get much more awesome.

Furthermore, once you’ve gotten up the courage to ask him what HE likes, you can most certainly get up the courage to tell him what YOU like. And then sex will get awesomer yet.

The two of you need to get into a groove, to understand each other’s bodies and what each of you like and don’t like. Try different positions (missionary [him on top], you on top, etc.–here are some good ones from Cosmo) and try to notice what feels good for you. Also try to notice what turns him on more. Are there overlaps?! Chances are, there are many overlaps. Note those things. Repeat ‘em.

But maybe you don’t know what you like. I mean, after all, you are a very recent addition to the ex-virgin club.

The best way to get to know what you like is to masturbate. You can do this with your fingers or a toy. If you use a toy, definitely use lube and make sure the toy is clean and intended for sexual use. Explore your body. You’ll figure out what feels good and what doesn’t.

Porn is another good helper. I mean, most of the stuff they do is crazy. But every now and then, you might find something that looks like fun to try. Or you might just find some good fantasy material. Either way, pretty good deal.

And, um, if you’re too embarrassed to even think about either of the above, you’re not ready to be having sex.

Look, girl. Here’s the truth:

The most important thing that you need to do during sex is to be in the moment. Stop worrying about what he’s thinking. TRUST ME. BOY AIN’T THINKING A DAMN THING. (And if you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe a dude.)He’s feeling lucky he gets to eff you. Just relax and have a good time.

Oh, and, please. USE PROTECTION. Because you know what’s not a good time?! Unwanted pregnancies and STDs. CONDOMS EVERY SINGLE TIME. Or else. For real.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

[Want more tough love? Get it.]