Unlike many of my friends, I didn’t spend my summer working my butt off at some incredible internship, or traveling around the globe checking out exotic places. I put my seven years of competitive swimming to use and decided to teach people how to swim at a nearby university. Not only did I get to enjoy the gorgeous Miami weather on a daily basis (when we weren’t having torrential downpours) and get to look at the even more gorgeous guys, I learned some very interesting things.

For example, even the cutest little girl’s vomit will be vile when you are covered with it. And, even though the adorable boy you teach can’t be more than 40 pounds, his “accidental” kicks to your lady parts will make you see stars. Every. single. time.

Since I don’t plan on teaching swimming or working with kids in the future, I didn’t anticipate learning anything super important through this job. I figured I’d be in the sun, make some money, and get really pruney fingers now and then. But while I was teaching these little kids how to stay afloat in a large body of water, they were teaching me a much bigger lesson. Read More »

I love boys. I love boys so tall they might hit their heads when they walk through a doorway and boys so short they’ve probably never entertained fantasies of basketball stardom. I love boys as dark as the blackest coffee, as white as the snow that I am not looking forward to this winter, and every shade in between. Give me a boy, any boy, and I’ll find something I love about him.

This is why even I wondered if I was slightly insane when I decided to completely abstain from boys this summer.

The decision (The Vow, as I now refer to it) was something I really had to think about. I knew that going home to Miami would mean I’d have options for a summer fling. Beautiful, jacked, sun-god-like options that seem to only exist in dreams. But, having been single for over three years, I needed a break.

I think that relationships, as amazing as they can be, sometimes just aren’t worth it. I’m incredibly busy, as are most college students, so I only want to make time in my life for someone if we have something I can’t imagine giving up. But while being single right now is best for me, it can be so exhausting. From wondering if the attractive guy digs me back to whether or not to be physical with a guy I may not have emotional connections with, I was just sick of it. So, to the surprise of my friends, I decided that for summer, I’d basically be like one of the nuns that taught me in grade school. Except I’d still curse and wear bikinis and stuff.

When people would ask my why I was doing this, I usually said something new-agey like “I just need some time to really be alone. I need to focus on myself.” And focus on myself I did. I took a mini road trip with one of my best friends to an amazing art exhibit. I re-read one of my favorite books that I haven’t read since junior year of high school. I started doing Pilates, which completely rejuvenated and calmed me. I surrounded myself with the carefree joy of children, and picked some of their confidence along the way. Read More »

Take off those sweats and put a little effort in! You never know who you're going to meet.

No matter how many times I lecture my friends about how we, as single girls, need to look cute wherever we go, I can’t seem to follow my own advice.

I was sitting on the stationary bike at the gym yesterday, sweating out my scholastic stress to some Drake, when a cute boy sits on the bike next to me. A very cute boy, whom I happened to see around a lot last year, but never talked to that much. Apparently, I should have biked next to him months ago, because we enjoyed a long long, drawn out, get-to-know-you conversation as we pedaled our little hearts out.

I was so excited and in luuuurve, but instead of focusing on engaging in witty banter, batting my eyelashes, and basically just knocking the socks off this kid, I was wondering if my eye makeup from the day had made its way down my face yet, and if sweat could ever be remotely flattering. I was also questioning my decision to wear bright, floral shorts that rep my school (I thought they were so tacky that they were cute…my friends later informed me that sadly, they were just  tacky) with a shirt that completely clashed with them. I was all, “Hell, it’s just the gym, I can go looking crappy and no one will ever be the wiser.”

THAT right there, that sentence, is my problem. Dannia, honey, I feel your pain. I’m here to keep you from having to learn it the hard way: it’s a smart to look adorable no matter where you go.

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Lately, it seems like the whole freakin’ world has been on a self-help kick. In recent years, the $11 billion dollar industry has flourished. It’s provided us with “miracle” books like The Secret and an array of self-proclaimed internet self-help gurus (or trust fund babies with pink hair and Daddy’s cash?) like Gala Darling.

Everybody’s trying out this “positive psychology” thing. Basically, positive psychology is the attempt to change self-defeating, negative thoughts, like, “I hate myself because my thighs touch and hers don’t” into more positive ones like, “My thighs might touch, but my calves sure do look hot in heels…and I bet she’s anorexic anyway.” Or whatever.

Well, somebody thinks we’re doin ‘ it all wrong.

According to Canadian researchers, “just thinking positive” can actually have the opposite effect. It can make people realize just how miserable they truly are.

The study started by highlighting old research that if people get feedback they believe is overly positive, they just feel like more sh*t than they did originally. Like when my boyf grabs at my tummy fat and a minute later tries to tell me that I have “such a nice stomach.” You better believe that as soon as that boy is out the door, I’m gorging my face with Peanut Butter Passion ice cream in shame.

The article in TIME, which reported this research, states that, “If you tell your dim friend he has the potential of an Einstein, you’re just underlying his faults.” And no matter how dumb that person is, he knows it, you jerk. Read More »

We are constantly being told to have confidence, to be optimistic, and that if we believe in ourselves, we can do it!  Well, these eye rolling confidence booster clichés are apparently unnecessary, as a recent study proves that 95% of the world’s population is naturally optimistic.

Hmm..now on the surface this everything-is gonna-be-all right mentality may seem like a positive thing, but where do we draw the line between confidence and cockiness? Between optimism and blind ignorance?

I’m totally a glass-is-half-full sorta girl, but I often wonder if all of that positivity is setting me up for major failure down the road. Is this optimism just setting us up for disaster and disappointment?  For goals that will never be reached and outcomes that are totally impossible?

Is it possible to be optimistic and realistic? What do you think?

According to new research, women with the profound ability to “monitor and manage feelings” are more inclined to enjoy (AKA have a mind blowing orgasm from) sex.

Supposedly, those with low Emotional Intelligence (EI) suffer from female orgasmic disorder more than emotionally “in tune” ladies. The evidence? A study in which a thousand sets of twins were emotionally and sexually monitored (asked how often they achieved orgasm during sex) showed a link between EI range and frequency of orgasm.

Researchers say this is promising news, and suggest that those of us who can’t achieve the big O during intercourse should begin therapy in order to correct our emotional ineptitude. Because, it’s obviously our emotional issues—not our guy’s sexual skills—that are keeping us from getting off.

Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t some females out there who could use a little help in the orgasm department, but I am saying that an orgasm is a two-way street and no amount of intelligence, or emotional stability, can make up for a lack of male bedroom talent. Maybe there is nothing emotionally wrong with those ladies being studied and they simply suffer from bad taste in sexual partners. Perhaps instead of getting into therapy, then, these women should find a guy who doesn’t finish in 3 humps or require a road map to find the clitoris.

That said, it does seem intuitive that intelligence, or at least confidence, could make a big difference for your sex drive. But isn’t that kind of—um—obvious?

My mom does a lot of really annoying things.

She calls me really early in the morning, or really late at night. To talk about reality TV shows.
Whenever I’m on the phone with her, she hangs up abruptly to get another call…without saying goodbye.
She pees with the door open in the powder room on the main floor of our house.
She backed into my car when it was parked on her driveway…

But no matter how much I want to shake her and scream, “MOM IT’S 8AM ON A SUNDAY AND I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF RAMONA!” the woman has given me so much and I can’t forget that.

My mom is one of the most generous people I know, always giving her time and services to other people. She will do anything for me, including moving me and all my stuff from dorm to sorority house to house to apartment to apartment. She’s always in the mood for a trip to the mall and sometimes even throws her credit card down at the register. She’s an awesome cook, she’s pretty good at Scrabble and she did apologize when she backed into my car…

But the thing I’m most grateful for when it comes to my mom is the confidence and self esteem she has instilled in me.

I was a fat kid growing up. And not just baby fat. Fat fat. I was tall and big and had a perm – needless to say, I stuck out. But I never knew it. In fact, I didn’t realize quite how big I was until I looked at pictures from my childhood long after those years were over. At the time, thanks to my mom, I thought I was just like everyone else. You see, she was a plus sized woman, but I never realized there was anything wrong with that. I don’t remember my mom ever talking about her weight. I don’t remember her ever hiding herself or her body out of shame. Read More »

Ah, the Shy Guy: that rare specimen of man who you’ll never overhear  talking bragging about some meaningless hook-up. You won’t find him at parties or see him hamming it up for the ladies. He’s sweet, modest and avoids being the center of attention at ALL costs. Odds are, he’ll be the one sitting in the back of class, avoiding eye contact with the professor when he or she scans the room for a volunteer.

He’s pretty much adorable, really. Mysterious, intriguing, sensitive, endearing … a diamond in the rough (“the rough” being the obnoxious, masochistic guys that are just way too common in college). Shy guys are hot. Think Michael Cera. Mmmm.

No? Just me?

Anyhoodle. You’ve caught him glancing furtively in your direction on many (many) occasions. You’re interested. He’s interested. But the two of you both know there aren’t gonna be any suave, hey-baby-what’s-your-sign moves on his part. So, short of holding up a “Hey. You’re cute. I’d say yes if you asked me out” sign, how d’ya go about meeting/cracking open the shy guy? Read More »

When you see a perfectly sculpted star on the cover of a magazine, don’t let yourself be fooled. They may look like they pray to the treadmill gods each day, but they are also just as human as we are. These ladies have curves, dimples, scars, warts and all the other things we pick at ourselves for. But thanks to the magic of Photoshop, their flaws can be hidden with the click and drag of a mouse.

Every so often, a brave celeb comes forward and acknowledges her body for the beautiful reality that it is. Recently, photos from a Complex magazine shoot with the bootylicious Kim Kardashian were accidently leaked onto the magazine’s website. In this assortment of pics were a couple shots of KK, pre-Photoshop, in all her luscious glory. A side-by-side comparison reveals the extent of her photo’s retouching: Read More »

The ladies of Tough Love were back last night and, as on the first two episodes, sexy Steve had a sexy lesson up his sleeve. He instructed each girl to set up their own photoshoot where they demonstrated what “sexy” means to them. The definition of sexuality is personal and unique to each individual, so this photoshoot would reveal how the women feel about their bodies and what they think men find attractive. The main test here is whether the girls can recognize the thin line between what is considered sexy and what is actually slutty.

Arian (Miss Party Girl) totally missed the boat and went straight for nudity and soft-core porn poses. Although I am definitely not surprised by her choice, I’m disappointed that she wasn’t able to see the point of this test. She knows that her ultra-sexual nature is what landed her in a Tough Love Boot Camp, so why did she waste this valuable learning experience by regressing? And with whipped cream, no less?! Read More »