CollegeCandy » constipated

Yahoo Question of The Week: Push It Real Good

CC Staff — Mon, 18 May 2009 20:30:55 +0000

You ever have a question so embarassing you weren’t sure who to ask?

You could ask your friends, but they’d laugh at you…and then copy and paste that sh*t into an email to everyone you know.
You could go to your parents, but they’d probably judge you…and then copy and paste that sh*t into an email to everyone you know.
You could turn to your BF, but he’d probably just dump you.

So where do you go? Apparently, Yahoo Answers. These people have nothing else to do but answer life’s toughest questions. Questions like this one:

What should you do? Hm, sitting down and turning to the internet sounds like a good idea, or, I don’t know, try a bit of this sage advice:

Yahoo Question of the Week: Why Are My Jeans Tight?

CC Staff — Mon, 04 May 2009 20:30:10 +0000

What would we do without the internet? Seriously, we use it to shop, to study, to communicate, to be entertained…and to get answers to the questions we just need answered, but aren’t quite sure how to ask. To someone’s face. Who can laugh at us. And then tell everyone about it.

Questions like this one…

I’m pretty sure the lack of poo poo is the real problem here, but she should just do what I do in this situation: opt for sweats. And lay off the late night cookie-dough-with-a-spoon routine.

Male Contraception Becoming a Reality? Maybe.

Jess - NYU — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 17:39:42 +0000

Making sure a guy wears a condom can sometimes be a bit of an uphill battle, but asking him to plug up his sperm and/or take a birth control pill might be just a tiny bit harder.

Although nothing like the aforementioned methods are on the market yet, scientists are busily researching ways to make men more active in pregnancy prevention.

At the second annual “Future of Male Contraception” conference held in Seattle this week (seriously, they have those?) sponsors such as the National Institute of Health and World Health Organization eagerly watched as new guy-based contraception inventions were unveiled.

Some of the new developments revealed were:

• The Intra Vas Device, “a set of removable plugs [which] block sperm in the vas deferens, the tube that’s cut in a vasectomy”.

Oh, I’m sure the guys will be lining up for this little procedure! Plugging up tubes in the body doesn’t sound comfortable, either. It kinda sounds like your balls would be constipated, no? Lovely, I’m sure.

• SARM (Selective Androgen receptor modulator), a “Testosterone-like pill” recently used as a muscle-wasting treatment that may also lower sperm count.

Awesome! So basically this is going to turn your man into a testicle-less non-man? Please tell me no.

• CDB-4022, a non-hormonal pill that “prevents monkey sperm from swimming to it’s destination”.

How do you confuse sperm, by the way? And, um, you all noticed it said monkey sperm, right?

None of these products have had sufficient testing, but researchers are confidentially moving forward.

No word yet on how the male population feels about allowing muscle-wasting treatments and sperm drugging medicine to invade their weewees but at least we may not have to rely on mood ruining pills forever (or until we want to pop out a few).