Of course a week later that said boyfriend came back with his tail between his legs promising to make it better. He’s seen how ugly the world can be without you and, damn it, he’s changed.

Oh and look at that; Facebook is right on schedule, trying to make amends just like your last douchey boyfriend. But this time it’s different; this time there’s hope! It may be a dysfunctional relationship, but it’s our dysfunctional relationship and we’re listening, Facebook. I’ve missed our late night sessions, wasting time together, looking at old pictures…

Some may call it an obsession but I call it love.

This time Facebook has a plan to woo me back. A week after we heard about the policy change (the one that would allow Facebook to obtain permanent rights to your pictures, wall posts and information), the most popular social-networking site has changed its mind and will instead give users more control over future Facebook rules and practices. The first step being several town hall style meetings that would allow users to comment on the new proposed statement of rights and responsibilities.

In the long run this arrangement sounds like it could be healthier for everyone. It feels good to talk out our problems, compromise, and make suggestions like adults. But while we’re on the subject I have some ideas.

Ideas that could really take this relationship to the next level.

I love the idea of giving me back my ownership rights and everything, but it’s really important that we stay, “stalker friendly.” I don’t want to have another discussion a week from now where I learn that I can’t creepily browse through my “friend’s” photos anymore. And what if we had and und0 option for those drunken Facebook mistakes? Sort of a virtual “oops” where I can erase that comment about watching that guy in chem class. Oh, and one more thing – I would really love it if I had full access to celebrity profiles. And contact info…

Just some suggestions. I think if we can make those teeny tiny changes we could be together forever.

What about you? Got any ideas?

[Photo courtesy of Flickr]

Jessica Simpson is set to rake in 3 million dollars to renew her deal with the pimple poppers over at Proactiv.

Basically, this means she gets more money than she gets to star in all of her blockbuster Hollywood films…to just stay kinda pretty and smile a lot. But get this! In the past, Jessica the Genius has gone on record saying that it was the prescription Accutane that cleared up her zits.

It wasn’t until she signed a contract with Proactiv in 2005 that she had what seems like a change of heart:

“I just had so much build up and so many clogged pores that once I started using Proactiv Solution, my face was just shining. I’m passionate about Proactiv because it worked for me and it gave me so much confidence.“

Maybe her face was shining because she’d returned to being excessively oily after the effects of Accutane wore off. Or maybe she’s just, you know, lying to make a ton of cash for putting in almost no effort.

It doesn’t really matter what Jess says because I don’t know about Proactiv anyway.

It always seemed like such a scam. I’ve tried it twice and all it’s managed to do was face my face smell like a foot. Not to mention drying it out so bad that I had to stay in bed and let it heal.

I had to let me face heal. My face!

So forget Proactiv and forget Jessica Simpson…they’re lying, she’s lying…it’s all the name of the game.

Besides, I wouldn’t trust a company that uses Britney Spears as a spokesperson for beauty.