I’m not a vegetarian, but I like to eat like one. I’m very picky with meats (I don’t eat seafood, beef, or pork); I try to eat healthy (even though I typically consume the calories I cut throughout the week in weekend drinking binges); and, most importantly, I’m a horrible cook, so I’d rather microwave a faux-chicken cutlet than get salmonella from undercooking a juicy piece of pollo.

A recent issue of Shape magazine suggested eating vegetarian once a week, and I was like, “Heyyy I already do that! I rock!” They also featured a mouthwatering recipe for vegetarian paella. That’s not going to happen. So, whether you’re a carnivore or a herbivore, trying to shave some calories from your diet, or too busy to slave over a hot stove, I give you vegetarian meals in five minutes or less. All you need is a microwave.

1. Boca Meatless Chili

You need:

–Boca Meatless Chili, from the freezer section of your grocery store.

–2 slices of whole wheat bread

*Zap the chili for three minutes, stir, and nuke for one more minute.

*While the chili is in the microwave, pop the whole wheat bread in the toaster.

*Cut the whole wheat toast in quarters, top with tasty chili, and enjoy! Read More »

Want a portable meal that’s delicious and nutritious? Forsake the chili bread bowl in favor of the stuffed pepper.

You can fill this guy with whatever suits your fancy—pork, chicken, beef, scrambled eggs—and you can also pack it with flavor and texture. Where else can you find protein, carbs, veggies, and taste all in one convenient, edible package the size of a man’s fist? Nowhere!

To make one stuffed pepper like the one in the picture, you’ll need the bell pepper (any color works, but I prefer to use green), half of one small onion, one garlic clove, a little bit of olive oil, a few ounces of ground beef, about three tablespoons of uncooked rice, 4-6 tablespoons of chicken broth, two tablespoons of tomato sauce or tomato paste, three tablespoons of parmesan or romano cheese, and seasonings to taste (basil, salt, pepper, etc.). Read More »

Smoothies are the ultimate food. They’re packed with vitamins and nutrients, they give you energy, and they taste AWESOME. If you’re pressed for time, a big smoothie makes a great breakfast or lunch, and it really fills you up and keeps you full for a while.

You might think a blender is essential for successful smoothie making, but I’ve used my food processor on countless occasions and been just fine. Until recently, I believed that the Perfect Smoothie was strawberry-banana, with a thick (though not lumpy) texture and a little yogurt and milk thrown in for good measure.

Two days ago, though, I discovered a new Perfect Smoothie, and I am now convinced that nothing can beat it. It is criminal that I should keep this new recipe to myself, so I am sharing it with CC’s readership so that every one of you can also make yourselves delirious with enjoyment over this particular smoothie.

It’s easy: you just need one banana, half a mango (peeled and roughly chopped), a little over half a cup of milk, a tablespoon of heavy cream, half a teaspoon of sugar, and one ice cube. Read More »

So, the Food Guide Pyramid. What was the last update it gave us? Three to five servings of veggies per day?

Ha, ha, ha. I’m laughing all the way to the grocery store.

No, seriously, though, that’s a lot of vegetables. And it’s not that I don’t like vegetables—it’s just that I don’t really eat them. I can eat about ten zillion servings of fruit per day, but when it comes to vegetables… I feel like a small child sometimes because I have to sneak them into my own food. I mean, who does that?

Maybe you will after trying this awesome homemade mac and cheese. Read More »

At least once a week, I find myself with less than a half-hour window to make and eat dinner. I guess I could just grab a sandwich or some Chinese takeout or something, but I have this annoying insistence that most of what I eat taste delicious and have recognizable ingredients. Yeah, I know, I’m a tough customer.

Since there’s no way I’d have time on those days to do more than punch a few buttons on the microwave or set the dial on the oven, I rely on three staple dinners that I can freeze and pop out of the freezer whenever I want. I usually make giant batches of each and then separate them into single portions that I can easily grab from the icicles. Read More »