[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“They’re a bunch of snot-suckers.”

“What?”

“Like, they actually suck snot. They remove the physical snot from your head.

“Ew. So, literally, snot-suckers.”

“Yup.”

“How do you one-up ‘Twlight’? They already did ‘vampires that can’t have sex.’”

“What about angels? Angels are sexy. Angels that can’t have sex.”

“How about angels that just don’t have any junk? No penis?”

“Or maybe they have two penises. Whaddya think?”

A man holding out a single-serving jelly package to a girl.

“I put sugar on it. It feels like a cat. Come on, try it.”

“It goes four a.m. diner, four-thirty omelettes, get home at five – and then it’s, hey, I have all these computer games here, and I guess I’m not tired anyway. And then I have a final.” Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

(It’s a scarce week for funnies this time around, as nothing interesting happens during the Thanksgiving holiday.)

In the mall:

Wife 1: “Is your husband being a Scrooge, too?”

Wife 2: “No, we’re just tired out. Taking a break.”

(Husbands exchange meaningful glances.)

Wife 1: “We haven’t even started shopping yet, and he’s already complaining!”

Husband 1: “I just don’t think we have the money this year.”

Wife 1: “Oh, stop being such a baby.”

Husband 1: “So… about that divorce, honey… oh, c’mon, I’m kidding. I’m kidding! Mostly.” Read More »

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“…So they broke up, and that’s fine – but you know what, lots of people break up! Lots of people get dumped! He’s been moping about her for longer than they were going out! I don’t want to have to fall back on gender stereotypes to make my point here, but if this doesn’t stop I am going to buy him a vibrator for his birthday! For his vagina!”

Two boys and a girl in a pizza restaurant:

Boy 1: “I like your sweater.”

Boy 2: “Oh, thanks! I like my sweater too.”

Boy 1: “Y’know, it’d look really good if you wore a white tank top under that, pulled the collar down a bit – just so a bit of the tank top’s visible.”

Girl: “Bob? Why are you talking about this?”

Boy 1: “Hey, I love fashion and I think it’s something I have the authority to speak on!”

Girl: “Listen, Bob, if you want to have sex with my boyfriend, just do it, okay? It’s fine.” Read More »

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“I hated the f**king noodle dance! I don’t need to do a dance when I get an idea – f**k you! That’s why you’re otters! If you were smarter, you’d be a more highly evolved mammal! And you wouldn’t need to break sh*t on your stomachs to eat it!”

“So we’re gonna put the thing there.”

“No, we can’t put the thing there, you a**holes!”

“Why are we a**holes, Steve, why are we a**holes? You think we’re a**holes because we can’t put the thing where you want.”

“Dude, it’s the f**king thing! It has to go there! A**hole.”

“That’s not a deer, that’s an ingénue!”

“Yo, Team Food Butthole stinks. Team Food A**hole is Awesome!” Read More »