This month’s Cosmo

And, of course, some semi-misguided advice…
This month’s “Get Him to Kiss and Makeup” bypassed the easiest ways to get your boyfriend to forgive you (lingerie, dinner, hypnotism) and found four surefire ways to earn redemption for anything short of “cheating on him with his brother in their parents’ bed while his dog watched.” For the most part, decent ideas, but Cosmo always finds a way to work in the darndest things…

Give Him Room

Cosmo Says: Even if you want to talk things out, let your man blow off some steam by going out with the guys. “That’s how guys multitask.”

Kari Says: Alright, I can understand this. Sometimes I just need a little time alone to sulk, scream, or commiserate with the girls, but watch the expiration date on that time apart. Allowing too much time to pass before apologizing and discussing can create tension, allow anger to steep, or at the very least will earn you some bad-mouthing to his friends. Give him some time to calm down, but don’t go to bed still angry.

Don’t Out-Argue Him

Cosmo Says: Even if you can logically prove you deserve forgiveness, don’t. Bringing up a time when he screwed up and you forgave him will only distract and annoy. Also, we’ll forgive you when we’re ready, but it shouldn’t take too long.

Kari Says: See?! He just doesn’t need that much time alone. But enough of me proving I’m right, that would just clash with this Cosmo tip, which I happen to wholeheartedly agree with. If Cosmo (and life) has taught me anything, it’s that women are far superior verbal warriors than our male counterparts. So outwitting him when he’s already pissed off at whatever I just did probably wouldn’t be the smartest idea. Good looks, Cosmo.

Stroke His Ego

Cosmo Says: “Guys are never immune to compliments. Doing or saying something that makes him feel good not only, well, makes him feel good, but it also reminds him why it’s way better when he’s not mad at you.”

Kari Says: First of all, I’m a little disappointed in the lack of innuendo that could have been used in a paragraph with the word “stroke” in the title. Anyways, when it comes to boyfriends, they’d prefer to be literally buttered up rather than metaphorically. A well placed compliment after you’ve made up is a good way to ensure forgiveness, but not a good way to earn it. Telling him how smart, handsome or funny he is won’t go over as well if you’re arguing; it will make him feel like you’re trying to distract him from the situation at hand.

Be Tough On Yourself

Cosmo Says: “We don’t want you to beat yourself up—unless you’re doing it for our benefit.” Crocodile tears pair nicely with this, but keep that advice on the low.

Kari Says: I definitely think that when apologizing you should own up to your mistake without making excuses, but a dramatic monologue about how horrible it made you feel will only detract from your boyfriend’s feelings about the issue. Make the focus of your apology why you’re sorry you hurt him and what you can do to make him feel better; your selflessness will go a lot farther than belittling yourself. And yes, just like getting out of a speeding ticket, tears do help.

So what do you think? Have you ever used any of this advice to earn forgiveness? What do you do to make up after a big screw-up?